Crushing Desire (23 page)

“You can go above now,” she said to Gunner, and when he opened his mouth to protest, she held up a hand. “Save the ship. That’s the best thing you can do for us all now.” He hesitated for a moment then turned and headed for the door.

“Fight for us, my love,” she whispered to Joshua, then reluctantly turned to the next cot.

Chapter Twenty-two

The night had passed long, hard, and full of screaming, but only two men had died, and they were still afloat. In the late hours, when things had calmed, she sat next to Joshua’s makeshift bunk while he slept. The young sailor on the other side of her could be no more than seventeen, and his bandaged head wound was covered in blood.

“What happens now that the captain is dead?” she asked, stopping him when the sailor made to sit.

“Captain Talbert was raised to the position of captain, and Fish is his mate now. Not sure who they’ll choose for second mate.” He shrugged and itched at his bandaged wound.

“Don’t itch,” she ordered. “Why would they promote a man that had been locked in the hold?”

The young man’s hand dropped from his forehead and squinted. “My knock must have been terrible. I don’t recall him being in the hold. He was confined to his sick bed for a while, but he’s all right now, I hear.”

Reena swallowed hard. Gregory still held the rank, title, and privileges that had been given him by the captain and the shipping company. This was a particularly disturbing turn of events. Would Gregory use this to hurt Joshua, or her, or both of them? He seemed to hate Joshua, and she had exposed his sabotage to the former captain. He was now in total control of the ship and all aboard it, and captains could chose very harsh punishments if they wished. She vowed not to think of it as she had vowed not to think of Joshua’s condition. If she did, she knew that she would never get the rest that she needed.

It was calm and dark when Reena decided to return to her cabin. Some of the other sailors had come to watch over the injured while she rested. She’d given specific instruction for the wounded and ordered a bath for herself. Stepping into the warm water, she washed away the memories along with the blood. Several of the sailors, who now watched her with a mixture of admiration and reverence, would follow the instructions as though they were gospel.

As she stepped from her bath, she contemplated the casualties. The cook had died, which was a loss for the crew but others could cook. The captain, though...

She had just donned her night dress when heavy boots sounded on the planked floors outside her door. Reena glanced around, wondering what she could use to defend herself, should she need to. She cursed her own foolishness for not thinking to bring a knife back from the hold. She grasped the blanket from the bed and pulled it around her.

She got the blanket in place, and the door opened. She turned to see Gregory step in and close the door behind him. She knew he would come. It had only been a matter of when. Now that he was here in her room, Reena could tell there was something off about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on what exactly. She stepped back as he came toward her.

“Will they live?” he asked, casual as a man commenting on the weather, but something dark churned beneath the surface of his eyes.

Reena pushed her long unbound hair behind her ear with shaking fingers and took another step back. “They should survive.”

“Your man too?” He stepped toward her, and she could smell the rum from where she stood.

“Yes.” She licked her lower lip and added quietly, “If he makes it through the night.”

“I’m the captain now, you know?” he said, more statement than question. “I hold both your lives in my hands.”

Reena glanced away, swallowing hard.

“I know,” she whispered, her gaze returning to his.

His eyes narrowed on her. “The captain… John, he…”

She bit her lip.

“I was promised my own crew. He would have been fine.” His words were soft, no more than a whisper. “Damnation, it was only going to slow the ship, but then the storm…” Gregory glared at her for a moment, eyes hooded, and then he swiveled back toward the door. “Do your best to heal the men,” he said, his voice still oddly quiet as he stepped through the doorway.

Reena shook as he tugged the door closed behind him. At the soft click, her legs gave out entirely, and she crumpled to the floor. She knelt for a moment, thinking about the captain’s unusual words, and Joshua’s unstable condition. When her legs were able to support her again, she went to the bed.

 
The bed seemed immense without Joshua. Reena grasped the shirt he’d discarded, during their morning’s lovemaking and held it to her as she curled on her side. She breathed in his male scent and thought about him laying in the dank, chilly hold without her. What would he say if he woke, and she wasn’t there? Would he worry for her safety? Would he be confused or scared? Would he call for her?

For the hundredth time, she rolled to the edge of the bed, ready to go to him, but stopped. He needed her to heal him more than he needed her to be with him when he woke. But what if the Captain was tossing him overboard at that very moment? What if he was silently sticking a knife in his ribs and twisting it? She flung the blankets off, her legs moving to hang off the edge of the bed. No, he wouldn’t hurt Joshua yet. He wouldn’t do that until he’d made them pay.

Reena pulled the shirt back to her face, trying not to cry as she breathed deep. He would live, and they would get out of this. They had to.

9

Between her worry about what the Captain had planned for them, his strange behavior, and Joshua’s well-being, Reena had been awake most of the night. There was a part of her that knew Joshua hadn’t died. Surely she would have felt it in the deepest parts of her soul if he had. The rest of her couldn’t let go of the fear. He had to be all right, or she couldn’t go on. She’d found herself up long before dawn, pacing the small cabin. Her mind going over his wounds and his state when she’d left with a healer’s eye, scrutinizing the facts for anything she might have missed. By the time the sun had risen, she was already dressed and rushing to the hold to check on him.

When she arrived, the men were rushing about, feeding and tending the injured as she had instructed. Many of the injured sailors were up and about, helping the more critical and less mobile. She was glad to see that her healing skills had helped, especially when she saw Joshua sitting up on the cot and eating a thick and lumpy stew.

“Enjoying your meal?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant as she observed his grimace spreading with each bite. She didn’t want him to know how concerned she had been, or how bad it could have been if his fever hadn’t broken.

“Not particularly.” Joshua beamed brightly at her.

He tried to set the mushy food down, but Reena pushed the bowl back toward his face.

“Oh no you don’t. Eat up,” she said. “Doctor’s orders.”

“How can I deny any doctor so lovely as you?” he asked, but grimaced when he again lifted the spoon from the bowl.

Reena performed some basic tests to be sure that the concussion was mild, and then tore herself from his side to check on the others. The calm and quiet of the ocean was filled by the loud pounding and yelling coming from the deck above, and Reena knew that the new captain would need all the men he could get to have the ship underway again.

As Reena moved about the hold, checking dressings and wounds, she noticed that Gunner was paying particular attention to Joshua’s needs. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw that the choicest bits of food, near inedible as they were, were given to Joshua. Much trouble was taken in making him comfortable, and Gunner was always there whenever Joshua spoke. The rugged man seemed to have a soft spot for Joshua and acted like a devoted servant.

Reena turned to a young sailor that she’d seen around the ship a few times and checked the thin wound that ran the length of his right arm. She tried to remember his name and could only remember him being called Fish, or something similar. Fish seemed to be getting worse, but Reena couldn’t understand why. She had cleaned his wound, a nearly insignificant one and dressed it with clean bandages. He should be well, not covered in sweat and shivering. Reena ran her fingers through his rich brown curls and came away with a wet and clammy hand. The captain’s shirt was pressed to Fish’s forehead to cool the fever, and it was obvious that someone had been at his side all night. Reena couldn’t help but wonder why they hadn’t come to find her if they were that concerned about his condition. She wondered how long they had let him worsen without word to her.

She checked and rechecked the wound, finding no reason for his condition. That was when she noticed the pinpoint of blood that seeped into the canvas beneath him.

“Smalls, help me!” she called to a sailor that had been nursing the others. Smalls, a large burly sailor ran to her side, nearly dropping the stew pot that he held.

“We need to turn him! Carefully!” She pulled the canvas from beneath Fish as she spoke, and together they deposited him on his stomach. The blood that soaked the back of his shirt was coagulated only to a degree, and Reena knew that he had, like as not, bled off and on all night. She tore his shirt, searching for the wound. After a moment, she found it. A sliver of wood had lodged itself beneath the skin of his back and might well have punctured an organ. The wound was red and torn, and Reena could see the infection starting at its edges.

She snapped orders, and the men around her scrambled to fill them. Reena worked in a daze, her mind wholly focused on the wound and the wooden bit inside it. Fish had fallen from the rigging, and this must have happened during the fall. She imagined the fall, the point of entry, the organs that might have been pierced. His lung hadn’t been punctured, because he wasn’t coughing up blood. His heart hadn’t been pierced, or he never would have lasted the night. No other organs could be affected, so she knew that it was the wood itself and the bleeding inside him that would mean life or death for this young man.

Fish was obviously no older than Reena herself was, and if she looked very close, this ruggedly handsome boy with deep brown locks was perhaps younger by a year or two. The thought of losing him horrified her. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and her shaking fingers.

Pulling the wood from the wound, she prayed that the boy would live. If her hand slipped, the long sliver might puncture one of the organs it had avoided. No sound penetrated her concentration as she focused on removing all the bits of wood and debris from the wound. Cleaning the lesion with alcohol, she checked for internal bleeding. When she cauterized the wound, the sizzle and the curses of the sailors were no more than a distant buzz in her ears. She remained in her trance like state as she sewed and dressed the wound. It wasn’t until she knew that the boy would likely live that she allowed the world to tear away at her healer’s facade.

The smell of seared flesh and the grey faces of the sailors were the last thing she noticed when the world came back to her. All that mattered to her at that moment was Joshua. Running to him, she flung herself into his arms, shaking furiously as he held her tight. Never before had she tended an injury that was so delicate. Never before had one wrong move meant death. Her violent tremors slowed then ceased as he gently stroked her hair.

“It’s over, my love.” Joshua repeated while he held her.

She drew strength from his embrace, but after a moment sat up, realizing that she was pressing against his wounded legs.

“Are you all right?”

“Don’t worry about me, love. Take whatever you need from me, and I will deal with the rest.”

Joshua was an amazing man. Even when he was injured and in pain, his first concern was always others. She’d been told Joshua had saved the lives many of the sailors, including their new captain’s, and for his bravery, he’d been injured. Yet even with the predicament they were in now, with Gregory as captain and Joshua hurt, she wouldn’t change him for the world. It was part of the reason she loved him so. She only hoped they would both live through what was to come and still have each other in the end. That thought opened the floodgates and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

9

Fear gripped Joshua stronger than ever before in his life. Certainly more than he would ever admit. Here they were in an uncontrollable situation. They were in the middle of the ocean, him injured and unable to protect them properly, and Reena dealing with heinous wounds and terrible stress. Once again, as he had many times in the past, he wished that he had told her no. Wished he had insisted they wait until later and leave on a proper passenger ship. His need to be with her, to help her and be her knight had led them both astray. The blame of it fell squarely on his shoulders. If he had only let himself admit his affection for her, they might have been married months ago and at this moment, happily visiting with her family. He had to do something. The sight of her frightened yet determined face while she’d worked on Fish’s wounds made him feel useless. The smells and sounds that had accompanied the experience were the very things her family and he had sought to protect her from.

“You’re all right,” he whispered, rocking her back and forth as she lay against his chest,

The many battlefields he’d been on for the Crown had taught him how to contend with the blood and gore. Reena was a talented healer, but she obviously hadn’t had to deal with this much at once. At least not alone and not since her childhood. Over half the crew, a good hundred men, lay injured on the cots in the hold. Many had superficial injuries to limbs, others had head injuries that weren’t too severe, but they needed watching. No more than a few were seriously hurt and none so badly as the young sailor she’d just helped. The stress of it was a lot for anyone to handle, and she was doing it all alone and with no formal training.