Crushing on Love (The Bradens of Peaceful Harbor, Book Four) (26 page)

“Think that’s funny?”

“Hilarious,” she admitted.

He turned, his eyes glistening like liquid heat. “A billion years ago this gigantic rock formed below the earth’s surface and was forced upward,” he said in a voice thick with lust. “That’s nothing compared to what you do to me with a single kiss.”

And just like that, all thoughts whooshed away—except the dirty ones.

THE PAST WEEK had been one distraction after another, the biggest of them being Steve and Shannon’s decision to have a long-distance relationship. Steve hoped this mini excursion would take their minds off of their impending separation. He’d considered proposing to her in this cave, trying to convince her to stay with him in Colorado, but she was so vehement about going back to Peaceful Harbor—to the life that had confounded her so badly she’d come across the country to try to figure it out—he’d buried that hope.

He lifted Shannon over the rock ledge at the entrance of the cave. Cool air seeped out of the darkness. Shannon peered inside with a fearful look.

He lit the lantern and took her hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her until the fear left her eyes—hell, until she agreed to stay in Colorado with him. But any more discussion about her staying would only bring more tears.

“Ready for your next adventure, Butterfly?”

She gazed up at him with trusting eyes. He didn’t think anything could make him contemplate leaving the mountain, but the idea of Shannon being on the other side of the country had done just that. Even though the small beach town didn’t hold
any
possibilities of a future in his field, he was nowhere near ready to give up on the chance of winning her over to the idea of one day living in Colorado permanently. But she had to want his lifestyle—and therein lay the problem. How could he compete with her family? With beaches and the ocean? With lifelong friendships?

Long distance it was.

For now
.

“I’ve got you, baby. I promise this will be something you’ll never forget.”

He led her into the cave, feeling her hesitation in her tentative gait. He tucked her beneath his arm and kissed her temple. He smiled down at the woman he’d once thought was too damn cute, too damn social, and too damn temporary for the likes of him. He was wrong on at least two of those counts. She was supremely cute and perfectly social. It was the third one that twisted him into knots, but he’d take two out of three and make do with seeing her once a month until they could figure out the rest.

“It starts out narrow, but it’ll open up quickly,” he said as they walked deeper into the cave. He understood the claustrophobic feeling that came with entering a cave for the first time. He still got a tingle in his chest from it.

“It’s cooler than I imagined,” she said, sounding a little less nervous. “I know caves aren’t like mines, with poor air circulation and lack of oxygen, but I didn’t expect it to feel so…easy to breathe.”

“Most caves have more than one entrance, so there are lots of fractures and conduits to circulate the air.” They followed the uneven rock as it dipped and wound around protruding walls. The lantern illuminated only a small area.

“Look!” Shannon pointed up to the ceiling as they entered the area he wanted to show her. “Stalactites.” Her eyes widened, and she pointed to a flowing formation cascading along an overhung surface of the sloping ceiling. “What is
that
? It’s gorgeous!”

“They’re called draperies. They’re formed from calcite-rich solutions. The surface tension allows them to cling to walls or sloping ceilings and stream downward. Loss of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere causes them to become supersaturated and deposit in these thin trails. The different colors are caused by the changing supply of organic acids.”

“This is beyond gorgeous,” she said.

“Like you, baby. You said you wanted to see the heart of the mountains or the cliffs. This is about as close as I could come.”

She slid an arm around his waist and rested her head against him. “I’m glad I took Tempest’s advice and came out here.”

He thought about his next question for a beat before asking it. Not only was it a loaded question, but her answer could shatter him, no matter how much she loved him. Despite her tears and her confession that she’d miss him after she left, she was still leaving. “Did you find what you were searching for? Figure out what you want in life?”

She tilted her beautiful face up, silently looking him over. Did she feel their pulses pounding in the air around them? His heart lying in wait?

He reached over and stroked her cheek, no longer needing her answer. “Don’t say it, baby. Just let me know you’re happy.”

“Grizz,” she said softly. “I found what I was searching for, but I’ve only made my life, and yours, more complicated.”

“Then stay.” He couldn’t help it—he had to ask. He had to
try
.

Her lips curved down at the edges. Her expression turned doleful, almost pleading. “Grizz…”

He heard her unspoken words—
We talked about this. I can’t leave my family, my life.
He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t fathom a day without you.” He opened his eyes and saw hers were damp, hating himself for being too weak to hold back his feelings. “When you went home for the wedding, the mountain was
too
quiet, the air was
too
still, and we hadn’t even been together yet. I can’t imagine what it will be like when you leave for good.”

“Not for good,” she said forlornly. “For three weeks, and then I’ll be back. And after I go back home, you’ll come to see me three weeks later.”

The back-and-forth travel—missing her effervescence, missing her loving, missing the sweet melodies she hummed and her excited squeal at every little thing—wasn’t the life he’d envisioned for them.

Because I envisioned something I couldn’t have, and I knew it from the start.

“Besides, Grizz, what happens in the winter when the mountain becomes too treacherous to navigate and you’re stuck with me
all
the time? I don’t even know what this mountain looks like in the snow. Will I go stir crazy being that far away from people, when the Internet goes down and cell coverage is spotty? Will I resent you for asking me to stay? Or hate myself for wanting to?”

“What if you love it here in the winter?” he asked, knowing full well she needed more than the mountain. More than him. He told himself to man up and stop acting like a lovesick kid.

He could face wild animals, hike for days, and work in iceberg temperatures, but when he tried to imagine three weeks without Shannon, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

THIS WAS IT, Shannon thought as she gazed out at the mountains while waiting for Steve to return from the emergency call he’d received at five thirty that morning. She hadn’t even heard the phone. She must have been fast asleep when he’d received the alert that a hiker had reported an injured mountain lion on one of the overlooks. How Steve always knew exactly where to go on this enormous mountain range still amazed her. But this mountain was his life, and he knew every trail, every tree, where water gathered when it rained in the same way she knew the back roads of Peaceful Harbor. She closed her eyes and tilted her chin up toward the morning sun, pulling her sweater tight across her chest. It was chilly now, but the sky was clear and it promised to be a perfect day for the rally and hopefully for the dance later that evening.

She should be packing for her flight tomorrow, but she still hadn’t been able to muster the gumption to do it. She’d tried to pack last night after they’d gone to her uncle’s house to have dinner with her family, but every time she approached the dresser with the intent to fill her suitcase, she shook and her throat thickened. She drew in a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to go inside and face what she had to do.

She pushed from her perch on the back steps of the cabin and scanned Steve’s yard.
Our yard. It feels like our yard.
The stump where he chopped wood still had a log lying on top of it. His ax, however, was neatly stored in his shed. Everything had a place in Steve’s life. There was order and process, things she’d never been very good at establishing for herself, and she found comfort in being with someone who knew exactly what he wanted.

Including me
.

Her chest constricted. She wanted him, too. She wanted him so badly she’d almost agreed to stay when he’d asked her to last night. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. The truth was, she hadn’t figured out her life beyond falling in love and finding out that she was really good at, and thrilled with, the work she was doing for their trust. But this exciting project would end soon. Steve and Treat would make the final purchase of the property, and that door would close. They’d have saved two hundred acres from development, given back to the community where Steve had grown up, and forged another bond between the Bradens and the Johnsons.

She wanted a bond between one Braden and one Johnson.

So does he
.

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She’d accomplished a lot, and she’d fallen in love with an incredible man. Three weeks apart wasn’t the end of the world—even if it felt like it right now.

As she walked toward the front of the house, she hummed Taylor Swift’s “Last Kiss.” She paused by the fire pit, remembering the night they’d shared s’mores and the day she’d created a smoke bath when she’d wanted to surprise him. True to his promise, he’d taught her how to start a fire on their camping trip. He was patient and loving and…

She covered her face with her hands as tears began to fall, giving in to the clutch of her heart.

Stop it. Just stop it
. She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want him to come back and find her bawling her eyes out, especially when he wanted her to stay and she knew she just couldn’t. She’d never lived this far away from her family. She’d never been away from home this long, other than when she went to college, and that was less than an hour from Peaceful Harbor
and
a handful of her closest friends she’d grown up with had gone away to school with her. She couldn’t risk not having a job and becoming a burden, or being stuck up there on the mountain and finding she couldn’t handle the solitary lifestyle for the long run. It would be ten times as hard to leave then. Love was supposed to conquer all, to fulfill every part of a person’s soul. So what was wrong with her? Why did she worry about those things? She loved him wholly and completely, but was that really enough?

She wiped her tears and fisted her hands, holding them up toward the sky.

“What kind of stupid test is this?” she said through gritted teeth. “Why wasn’t I born
here
? Or he born
there
?” She groaned as her last words tore violently from her lungs. “Where the hell is the answer in all of this? Where’s that cosmic shit Tempest believes in?”

She hammered her fists against her thighs and closed her eyes. Suddenly there were arms embracing her, bodies pressing in on her. Shannon’s eyes flew open and she burst into tears.

“We’re right here,” Tempest said reassuringly. “We brought a box of pastries. All your favorites. And don’t say ‘cosmic shit.’ It’s not shit.”

Shannon laughed through her tears. “I can’t believe you’re here, witnessing my meltdown.” Her family was supposed to meet them at the rally, and here they were, exactly where she needed them.

“Of course we are, sweetheart,” her mother said, brushing Shannon’s hair from her tear-damp skin. “Last night at dinner we saw how broken up you were about leaving. You can’t fool your mother.”

She took in her mother’s wild blond mane, her bohemian top and skirt, and she sank into her open arms.

“I think the fact that your eyes filled with tears every time she asked about it tipped her off,” Leesa said, pulling a much-needed smile from Shannon as she stepped out of her mother’s arms.

“We’re here to help you pack,” Tempest said. “After seeing you and Steve together, I know you won’t be able to do it. I guess you don’t hate me for encouraging you to leave Maryland.”

“No. I love you even more for it, but I hate myself. I came back to Colorado wanting to see what might come of us, and what came of us is so perfect, it’s…” Tears slipped down her cheeks again and she swiped angrily at them. “God! I need to stop this! Tempe, what if I’m making a mistake by going home? Or if we take forever to figure out where to go from here?”

“You’ll know if you’ve made a mistake and you’ll come back,” Tempe assured her.

“Baby girl,” her mother said with the tone she’d used when Shannon was little and worried about all the fish in the sea being killed by fishermen. “You and Steve are beautiful together, and it’s clear how much he loves you. He told you last night there was no rush to figuring out your plans. Take some time to breathe and trust things will turn out how they should.”

“And those answers you’re looking for, Shan?” Faith touched her hand and smiled. “They’ll come to you when you’re ready to hear them. Mine did.”

Tempe gave Shannon a nudge toward the front door. “Come on. Let’s get you packed up so you can come back in three weeks.”