Crystal Lies (9 page)

My heart must’ve stopped when I saw them. Not that they were doing anything wrong, exactly. Even so, it looked
all wrong
. At least to my eyes. Because there, sitting at my dining room table, was my husband and Judith Ramsey. Even though I knew she was the city manager and this might’ve been an official business meeting, I somehow knew that it was
not
. Maybe it was the way they leaned in toward each other as they talked with animation. Or maybe it was the bottle of wine on the table—Geoffrey and I have never been drinkers. Or maybe it was my husbands face, the easy smile and sparkling eyes—an expression I hadn’t witnessed in years. It was the same look he’d had in the photograph with Judith from his birthday party. The brightly burning candles offered more evidence that Geoffrey was no longer himself anymore than I was.

I sank down into the bushes and, pulling my knees toward my chest, buried my head and silently wept. I felt unable to breathe or even think, and I have no idea how long I stayed there in that crouched position. Finally, like a whipped and beaten animal, I slunk through the yard, across the driveway, and back to my car. Standing in the shadows, I dug through my purse to find my keys. Then I turned around for one last look, and something about seeing that sporty little red car parked in my driveway just flipped some crazy switch in my brain. Call it temporary insanity or whatever, but I ran back over there determined to let the air out of those perky little tires.

But when I got to her car, I took a deep breath and calmly ran my key along the entire length of the driver’s side, digging a nice deep gouge of rage into the shiny red paint.

I was instantly embarrassed to catch myself doing something that immature, and I’ll probably never admit those actions to any living human. But I just couldn’t help myself. Then I drove home.

I felt numb as I dragged myself up the stairs to my apartment. By now the realization was actually sinking in. My husband, the man I’d been married to for twenty-five years, was probably having an affair. It all seemed so unreal, so cliché even. Hadn’t I seen this same movie on Lifetime last year? I felt trapped in someone else’s nightmare, unable to even take it all in. I was so distracted by those emotions I didn’t even notice that the note I’d left taped to the door was gone as I went inside.

“Mom,” said Jacob with a smile.

I blinked into the light. “Jacob?”

“Are you all right?” He came closer now, putting his hand on my shoulder. To my surprise he didn’t look too bad. His was clean and shaved and even looked sober.

“I…uh…I’m not sure.”

“What’s wrong?” He reached over and plucked a rhododendron leaf from my hair. “Where have you been anyway?”

I sank down onto the couch and just shook my head. Then before I had time to think or reconsider, I poured out my awful story.

Jacob gently put his arm around my shoulder and actually hugged me. “It’s going to be okay, Mom,” he said in a soothing and surprisingly mature voice.

I looked at him through my tears and somehow, despite my broken heart, I was able to smile. “I’m so glad you came home, Jake.” He nodded. “I’m sorry I’m so late, but I got a job.”

I blinked. “You got a job?”

“Yeah, a friend of mine helped me get on at Mama Mia’s Pizza.” He made a face. “It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing, and I get free food.”

I reached out and hugged him then. “Oh, Jacob, I’m so proud of you.

He frowned. “Well, I haven’t done much to make you proud
yet
. And I’m really sorry that I’ve been such a total screwup, but that’s all going to change now.”

“Really?” I studied his face and was surprised at how bright and happy his countenance appeared. Almost as if he’d had some sort of revelation.

“Yeah. I had some time to think about everything—you know, my life and where it’s heading and everything. And, to be totally honest, I wasn’t making the greatest choices when I first left home. I did some stuff, well, some things I’m not too proud of. But I woke up a couple of days ago, and I just realized this has to stop.”

I nodded eagerly. “Yes! You’re right, Jacob. Oh, I’m so happy for you.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I am too. And I made this really good friend. His name is Daniel, and he’s a lot older than me, about thirty I think, but he’s been through a lot of the same kind of stuff, and he really understands me. He’s the one who helped get me on at Mama Mia’s.”

“That’s great.” I reached for a tissue to wipe the tears from my face.

“And I’m really sorry about that crap with you and Dad.” He scowled. “I had a feeling that something like that was going on.”

“Really?”

“Remember, I sort of tried to warn you that day I left home. I said we were all going to get hurt.”

I nodded. “So that’s what you meant.”

“One time I went to Dad’s office to see if he could loan me some gas money, just so I could get home, you know. Anyway, his secretary wasn’t
there, so I just walked in like normal. And I didn’t exactly see anything for sure, but the way those two were acting, you know, the looks on their faces. I felt pretty sure I’d caught them at something. But the truth is, I was a little strung out at the time, so later on I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it or not. But I really don’t think I did.”

“Do you remember when that was?”

He frowned. “A pretty long time ago. Like last spring maybe. I think I was still in school.”

“Oh.”

He shook his head. “Man, I’m really sorry, Mom. It looks like the guys in your life have really let you down.”

“No,” I said firmly. “Your dad has let me down—hugely. But you’re getting your life back on track now, Jacob. Honestly, I don’t think anyone else could’ve helped me through this night the way that seeing you has done.”

He smiled brightly now. “Cool.” Then he nodded toward the kitchen. “I hope it’s okay that I was fixing myself something to eat.”

“Of course. Make yourself at home.
Mi casa es su casa.”
My attempt at lightness was as thin as cellophane, but Jacob didn’t seem to notice.

“All right.” He laughed as he went into the kitchen. “By the way, I really like what you’ve done with the place, Mom. When I first got here, I couldn’t imagine you living in an apartment like this.”

I attempted a laugh now. “Yeah, it was a pretty big change.”

“But you’ve made it look really cool in here.”

“Thanks.”

I sat down on a barstool and watched as Jacob meticulously built himself a sandwich. Suppressing my churning emotions, I watched him layer on lettuce and tomatoes and cheese, carefully spreading mayonnaise and putting on a thick wad of roast beef. He really did look good, and healthy, too. And so, despite the blow I’d just suffered and the dull ache
ricocheting inside, I told myself that perhaps my life wasn’t going to end tonight after all. If my only purpose for being alive at this moment was to help Jacob, well, so be it. Wasn’t that what a mother was supposed to do?

Nonetheless, I cried myself to sleep that night. But in the midst of my tears, I still paused to thank God for returning my son home safely to me. “Help us to pick up the pieces,” I prayed—my first real prayer in months. “Show me where to go from here.”

I called Sherry the next day and told her I needed to talk. We agreed to meet at my apartment as soon as Jacob went to work.

“This must be serious,” she said when I opened the door and let her in. She glanced around with obvious curiosity. “Since it’s the first time you’ve let me actually see your apartment.”

I frowned. “Yeah, welcome to my humble abode.” Then I collapsed on the couch and put my head in my hands.

“Talk to me,” said Sherry, sitting down beside me. “What’s wrong?”

I took a deep breath, attempting to steady myself. “It’s Geoffrey,” I told her, looking up. “I think he’s having an affair.”

Her eyes grew wide. “No way, Glennis. Not Geoffrey.”

I nodded. “I really think so, Sherry.” Then I told her about sneaking home the night before and seeing him there with Judith. About the candles, the wine—everything.

“You’re kidding!”

“I wish I was.” I shook my head. “And you know what’s really stupid?” Fresh tears were filling my eyes again.

Sherry reached over and took my hand.

“I…I had gone over there to…to tell him that…I…I was sorry.”

Then I broke into sobs.

Sherry hugged me and assured me that everything was going to be okay How she knew this was way beyond me, but I wanted to believe her.

Finally I managed to stop crying and attempted to compose myself as I told her the good news about Jacob.

“Well, at least that’s something,” she said with a bright smile.

“Yeah. It felt like a real lifeline last night.”

“See,” she said,“God is listening to your prayers.”

I took in a jagged breath. “Maybe some of my prayers…”

“What are you going to do now?” she asked.

“I…uh…I don’t know. What do you think I should do?”

She considered this. “Well, do you
really
believe he’s having an affair?”

“I don’t know for sure.” Then last night’s scene flashed through my mind again, and I nodded. “I really believe he is. If you’d seen the look on their faces, Sherry…” I covered my mouth with my hand, certain that I was about to be sick, or maybe I was going to scream.

“Oh, Glennis.” She just shook her head.

“And even if they’re not…not sleeping together…yet…” I bit into my lip as I thought about this possibility. “I know it’s just a matter of time.” Then I told her what Jacob had said about finding them in Geoffrey’s office last spring.

“Well, you guys have both been under a lot of stress, Glennis. I suppose it’s possible that Geoffrey used this as an excuse to, well, stray.”

“An excuse?”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” She sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“But what do I do now?” I looked around my little apartment and realized that this might really turn into my permanent home now. “I…I don’t know what to do.”

Sherry grew thoughtful, and I waited. Finally she said. “I think you should confront him.”

“Confront him?” Fear returned to my voice.

“Yes. Tell him what you suspect, and ask him if it’s true.”

“What if he lies?”

“Well, he might. Just do your best to discern whether he’s lying or not.”

I groaned. “I don’t think I even know how to do that anymore. I feel like I can barely discern what’s true for myself. How can I tell if someone else is lying?”

“Look at his eyes,” she told me.

“But he’s a lawyer,” I reminded her. “I have a feeling he can tell lies without anyone knowing.”

“But he’s a Christian,” she said.

“What makes you so sure anymore?” I asked.

“We can’t judge him, Glennis.”

I shook my head. “I’m so confused.”

“Well, just pray about it,” she told me. “Maybe God will give you some special insight.”

I seriously doubted this but didn’t say as much. “And what then? What if I
am
able to confront him, and believe me, that doesn’t seem very likely. But even if I
am
able to do this, what happens next? I mean if he’s…well, if he’s really having an affair. What then?”

“Then you need to decide whether your marriage can be salvaged or not.”

“Salvaged?” I imagined a pile of broken and worn furniture.

“Yes. Is it possible that you guys could get counseling?”

I forced a laugh. “Counseling? Are you serious? Geoffrey totally refused to go in for counseling when Jacob first started messing up. Do you think he’d go now?”

“You need to at least ask him, Glennis.”

“Why?” I demanded, suddenly angry. “Why do I have to ask
him?
He should be the one asking me. Why am I the one who always has to do everything?”

Sherry patted my hand. “Just give it a try, Glennis.”

“But I don’t see why, Sherry Why should I be the one to—”

“Because if you do everything you can possibly do to save your marriage, then you won’t have so much garbage to deal with later.”

“Later?”

Sherry nodded. “Yes, whether you believe it or not, there will be a later. Remember when my sister Marla got divorced a few years ago?”

“Sort of.”

“Well, trust me, there’s lots of
later.”
“Oh.”

“But what if I confront him and suggest counseling, and he still refuses?” I asked her. “What do I do then?”

“Then…you get yourself a good lawyer.”

Once again Sherry encouraged me to call her counselor friend. And finally I just gave in and sat there in my apartment, feeling like a six-year-old, as Sherry used her cell phone to call and make me an appointment for the following week.

“Do I need to come get you next Friday?” asked Sherry as she made her way to the door. “I don’t mind taking you.”

“No, I’m perfectly capable of getting myself to the shrink.”

“She’s not a shrink, Glennis. She’s a counselor. And she’s really great at marriage counseling.”

“How do you know this for sure?”

Sherry winked. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy. If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

“Very funny”

“By the way,” she said with one hand on the doorknob,“I like what you’ve done with the place.” I forced a laugh. “I’ll bet.”

“No, seriously. It’s really nice. It seems more like you than your big house on the hill.”

“I’m not sure how to take that,” I told her. “Are you saying the real me is cheap and cheesy and—”

“No, not that part. I mean what you’ve done with the colors and everything. It’s very cool and creative.”

“Well, I’ll take
that as
a compliment,” I told her.

“You’d better.” Then she studied me. “Have you ever considered doing something like this as a job?”

“Huh?”

“You know, decorating. You’d be great at it.”

I frowned. “Yeah, sure. My degree is in education.”

She waved her hand. “Oh, degrees are a dime a dozen. It’s talent that’s hard to come by.”

I reached out and hugged her. “Thanks, Sherry,” I said. “You are always an encouragement to me.”

“I’m serious,” she said. “You should consider it.”

“Right,” I told her. “I’ll consider it…right in between helping my son to get his life straightened out, saving my marriage, and seeing your shrink.”

“She’s not a shrink.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“And we’re still on for lunch on Saturday?” she asked.

“If you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me in public.”

“Oh, Glennis.” Then Sherry frowned as she surveyed my sorry-looking outfit of dirty sweatpants and a T-shirt. “But it wouldn’t hurt to clean up your act a little. Maybe we should go shopping.”

I sighed. “Whatever.”

“I’ll call.”

“Thanks,” I told her as I closed the door. And I meant it. What would a person do at times like this without a good friend? I couldn’t even imagine. I knew she was right about confronting Geoffrey. But I just wasn’t
sure I was up to it. Perhaps it would be better to wait a few days until I cooled off a bit, had a little more control over my emotions. But what if it only became harder the more I put it off? My policy in all things had always been to take care of things immediately. If something needed to be done, just do it. Of course, that seldom had anything to do with matters of the heart.