CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) (14 page)

CHAPTER 15

There weren’t plenty of situations in life
when Xan found himself taken aback by people or circumstances. Surprising him
wasn’t easy, and the fact Catalina managed to do that from their first meeting
might have been one of reasons why he wanted to see her again.

Yet it paled in comparison to his current
bewilderment.

He knew he was in a less-than-social mood,
still pondering the fight from the previous night, still feeling some pain, and
he knew that a logical thing would be to take a breather before his next fight
until he was one hundred percent back to himself.

But he was used to people who didn’t really
give a rat’s ass about how he felt or what he thought, trying to get his
attention no matter what.

Women had always flocked to him from an
early age without any encouragement on his part. When they asked him questions,
it wasn’t about where he was from and what his real name was. They wanted to
know how many opponents he defeated and the severity of injuries he caused and
suffered himself. They saw him as nothing more than a fighter.

Apparently Catalina wasn’t like most of
those women.

Xan knew he deserved to be walked out on;
what he didn’t anticipate was that Cat’s cool and polite exterior could slip so
unexpectedly and reveal quite a temper hidden underneath.

He provoked it once already but thought it
to be one-time performance. Now he started to believe there was much more to
her than he gave her credit for and his interest spiked.

He tossed a few bills on the table and ran
after her, not deluding himself in believing she waited for him outside of the
restaurant. That would require some dose of manipulation and Xan didn’t think
that was what Catalina was after.

She was pissed at him and playing the
situation in her favor didn’t seem like the approach she would choose. As far
as he knew, she could be already hailing a cab, he thought, and was relieved to
discover she was walking down the street instead.
“Catalina!” He called out and he knew there was no way she hadn’t heard him.

Yet she didn’t turn around, didn’t stop.

If anything, her pace quickened and his
lips quirked at the corners. Oh yeah, she was pissed alright.

He jogged, closing the small distance
between them to grip her wrist.
“Wait,” he said.

Catalina’s cheeks were flushed and she felt
heat spreading within where there was nothing but coolness residing so far. She
heard him calling out her name and it only strengthened her resolve.

Of course he would use her name now of all
times. Typical, she thought.

She felt at a loss with her own behavior,
so at odds with what she knew about herself till this very point.

Then he stopped her when she didn’t want to
be stopped at all.

She swiveled on her feet, facing him,
feeling more than a little embarrassed for causing a scene.
“Why?” She asked.

Cat couldn’t remember the last time she was
so angry, ashamed and frustrated at once. And probably the only reason no memory
was emerging was due to the fact it had never happened before, she thought.

She didn’t know what it was about him that
kept provoking her inner calm, her very sanity, and made her act so out of
character.

She didn’t know and really didn’t care at
this moment at all because of all emotions warring inside of her, shame had
finally won over, overshadowing every other sensation.
“I have no idea why you asked me out in the first place. It is painfully
obvious we have nothing in common. You couldn’t make yourself clearer about
having zero interest in a small talk. So what exactly do you want from me?” She
looked at him, all but daring him to ignore and dismiss her yet again.

She regretted her outburst and words as
soon as they left her lips, even though they were nothing but the truth. Which
probably was making it so much worse, she decided, unveiling her sense of being
at an utter loss and disadvantage with him. She tried to reason out something
that was devoid of any logic whatsoever.

She regretted the words, but was unable to
stop them from pouring out of her mouth. And he just stood there, looking
steadily at her with sparks of amusement glinting in his eyes.

Which of course didn’t fail to increase her
ire and abashment both.
“What do I want?” He looked at her flushed cheeks, sparks of temper in the blue
depths of her gaze and the tempting line of her lips.

He wanted to absorb her fire, turn it into
passion and let it consume them both. But Xan didn’t think she was ready to
hear any of it.
“This,” he said simply and bent his head to tempt her lips until they would go
soft and pliant under his.

She was expecting some kind of a strong
emotion from him; maybe slivers of his anger, since his temper seemed always at
the ready.

But it didn’t happen.

No, his reaction when it finally came was
nothing she could have anticipated, she decided.

One moment she was riding the high of her
own agitation and the next his lips were fused to her own. But he didn’t touch
her other than that.

She placed her hands on his chest, wanting
to push him away but the idea was soon forgotten just like the sense of their
surroundings. Her hands fisted in his shirt instead, the warmth of his body
covered by the thin fabric made her feel weak and utterly feminine for some
reason.

She gasped into his mouth, feeling his hand
moving to cup her cheek. The calloused skin of his fingers connected with her
face, the tip of his tongue glided lightly along her bottom lip.

Before she could decide how to respond to
it, he backed away, peering down at her as if to assess her reaction.

The problem was she had no idea what kind
of reaction she should give him.

He wanted this? What kind of an answer was
that? She wondered.

A moment passed, measured by their mingled
breaths before she finally realized they were standing in front of the
restaurant.

In the open as in
public.

For everyone to see them.

Her hands, still placed on his chest,
trembled slightly and she couldn’t decide if she should push him already or
hide her flushed cheeks in his shirt. Not that she felt he could actually
shield her from people and her own embarrassment.

No, he was the type to flaunt it instead.
“I… I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. This is not me. I can’t go back
there. I don’t want to.” Her voice was a bit hoarse and she needed to clear her
throat in order to speak, which she found even more humiliating.
“Don’t apologize, I am not going to.” She didn’t acknowledge this part of
herself but it didn’t mean it was not her, he thought.

He liked this side of her and not the cool
untouchable person who would have never dared to venture into the fight club.
“We don’t need to go back. And I wanted to see you. I’m sorry my behavior
suggested otherwise.”
“I thought you were not going to apologize,” she noticed and he chuckled.
“Not for kissing you, since I don’t regret it.” He waited for her to say she
did, but she was silent, looking away from him, and he could have sworn he was
able to see millions of thoughts running through her head.

Xan ran his hands up and down her bared
shoulders, enjoying the touch she denied him before. Cat gazed up at him and he
couldn’t decipher the meaning of the look, but he didn’t see any reason not to
kiss her again.

She understood his intention and as good as
it felt to be surrounded by his strength and the heat of his body, she shook
her head and pushed at his chest, stopping him.

She was glad for the twilight creeping in,
hoping it could conceal what she didn’t want him to see.
“You want me to take you home, don’t you?” He frowned down at her.
“I think that would be the best.” Cat agreed.

She didn’t feel like going back to the
restaurant, not tonight anyway, and she didn’t think he was interested in
having dinner any more than she was. Where did that leave them?

Back to square one, she sighed softly.
“Fine.” He was not ready to give up but forcing her to continue the evening after
he made her lose her appetite didn’t sound like a way to win her over either,
Xan decided.

Cat’s stomach did a funny somersault when
he slid his hand down her arm before reaching for her palm. Such a simple
gesture, she thought, but couldn’t recall any time she walked with a boy or a
man holding hands.

Did she ever?
“Thank you,” she muttered when they walked back to his car and he opened the door
for her, acting all gentleman-like when he had failed so far to do so.

But it was behavior she knew well, was used
to it. Paradoxically it helped her to relax a bit, even managed to elicit a small
smile on her lips.

The drive back home was as silent as before,
only now the quiet was of a different nature. Catalina found herself biting her
lip repeatedly, not wanting to ask any more questions since he failed to answer
all the previous ones.

She glanced at him from the corner of her
eye but his face was as impenetrable as the darkness settling heavily around
them. Her gaze slid an inch lower, lingering on his firm lips and sending her
thoughts back to the kiss they exchanged. The smooth way his mouth moved over
hers, the way he touched her.

Xan wasn’t the type to walk a woman to her
door, unless he planned to stay for a while of course, he thought. Yet
something in Catalina demanded this kind of chivalrous behavior and he was
convinced every single man passing through her life had heeded this silent
call.

It only pissed him off more when he found
himself on the very same path that led him to her front door.

He watched her slide the key into the lock
and turn around with a polite smile on her face, likely to bid him goodnight.

He would have let it go, he told himself,
if it weren’t for this fucking artificial smile.

Before he knew it, he had her face in his
hands and was pushing her against the door with his own body.

She sucked in a breath when he descended
onto her lips as if there were no tomorrow. This time there was no hesitation
in him, no compromise in the hardness of his frame. No space for asking.

In the blink of an eye, he turned into a
savage ready to take.

Xan felt a tremor running through her body
but he didn’t care what the source of it was. He didn’t want to think about
anything except the way she felt and tasted. He swallowed her gasp and fisted
his hand in her hair.

Her lips parted and maybe she meant to
protest but he was not going to give her the luxury of it, his tongue delved
into her mouth entwining with hers. He pulled lightly at her hair, tilting her
head so he could deepen the kiss.

Catalina felt the unverbalised demand
pouring out of him.

Her eyelids fluttered when his tongue swept
inside
–
a hot brand
claiming her own with baldness that set her senses ablaze.

She moaned quietly, feeling his body
turning more aggressive, pressing into her with dazzling intensity until she
found herself between the cool surface of the door and the unyielding hardness
of his body.

There was no slow burn between them but a
sudden flare getting hotter and hotter still threatening to get out of hand.
Maybe it had already, she thought feverishly, lost to sensations.

Then she felt his calloused hands sliding
down her body and it shocked her to feel them on her thighs under her dress
somehow.

Nothing could anchor her in reality more
firmly than that.

It was an unwelcome but so necessary
reminder he was but a stranger to her and there was nothing between them other
than the surely fatal attraction.

She pushed at his chest, gasping for
breath, grasping for sanity.
“You have to go.” She managed to utter the words although they felt numb on her
lips or maybe it were her lips that were stupefied.

She didn’t know and it terrified her as
much as what his touch did to her, stripping her of all her restraints as his
hands tried to strip her of her dress.
“Do I really?” Was his lazy answer and his lips hovered above hers again but
she couldn’t allow this madness to go on.
“Yes!”

He sighed deeply, not liking her
decisiveness. Not liking it at all.

He much more preferred her compliant and so
damn responsive he could already imagine how it would feel to be inside her the
way his relentless erection demanded.
“I want to see you again.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I am sure it is not.” She didn’t look at him
and he didn’t like it so he gripped her jaw between his thumb and forefinger
before she could shy away.
“You can lie to me if that makes you feel any better, but why would you lie to
yourself? Sleep well, Doll,” he told her and walked toward his car without a
single glance back.

He had a very strong feeling he wouldn’t
find the will to leave if he saw her standing there, delicious and inviting in
this state of dishevelment
–
his
handiwork.