Cupid (10 page)

"Perhaps you do. Nonetheless, if you see my face, I will leave you."

"Then, tell me your name."

"Call me your beloved. That is the name I know myself by since you came into my life."

"I could love you even more if I knew who you are, if I could gaze upon your face."

Cupid did not know that one way of making love is to share your fears with the other. His situation was like that of a wealthy and beautiful woman who is afraid a man will love her only for her beauty and money and not for herself. Cupid wanted to be loved for himself and not because he was a god. He was afraid that if Psyche knew his true identity, the quality of her love might change and she would regard him as a possession to be displayed like a rare vase or sculpture. Of course Psyche knew even better than he did how it felt to be regarded as an object.

But Cupid could not think about very much beyond the pleasure that holding and touching her gave him. He
was satisfying his physical need and desire, but he was not yet making love. Love is not made if you are unwilling to risk being seen for who you are.

His refusal to reveal himself to Psyche nagged at her during the long days when she was alone. Despite being surrounded by wealth, despite having servants, invisible ones, who waited on her throughout the day, Psyche began to feel she was living in a prison. What good was it to be surrounded by wealth and beauty if she had no one with whom to share it?

Cupid spent his days feeling the pain of her absence. There were many times each day when he had to hold himself back from rushing to the palace and taking her in his arms. His days were as empty as hers, but while his hours were filled with longing for her, hers became more and more filled with loneliness and resentment. When resentment is added to loneliness, the result is a quiet anger. That spells trouble in any relationship.

Thomasina and Calla were as different from Psyche as hard is from soft. Psyche had grown up wondering what beauty was and if she had a responsibility to it. Thomasina and Calla had grown up thinking that their one task in life was the maintenance of their beauty. That's a lot of work. I know, not because I am beautiful but because I subscribe
to five women's fashion magazines, all of which document that being beautiful takes a lot of time and a lot of work throughout the day, all day, and every day. Well, imagine how hard it was to stay beautiful back in Thomasina's and Calla's day, when there were no magazines to tell them what to put on where, and what not to put on there, and why.

Each morning after Psyche's sisters had sunshine brushed into their hair, they had to decide which gowns to wear that day, because they couldn't wear in the afternoon what they had worn in the morning, and—Juno forbid—they certainly couldn't wear in the evening what they had worn in the afternoon or in the morning. Then they had to decide what shoes and jewelry to wear with each gown, and having decided all that, they would change their minds and start all over. Eventually they would settle on what gown to wear and what accessories went with what. Then it was time to put on makeup. That is far too complicated a subject for my male brain. As far as I am concerned, the color red is red. But when my daughter was fourteen, she knew there was plum red, sunrise red, sunset red, autumn red, winter red, spring red, and that was just nail polish. There were a whole bunch of other reds for the lips, and still more reds for the cheeks. It took months of experimentation and practice before a woman understood which red looked best at what time of day and in what season of the year and with what garments. Any man who thinks men are smarter than women needs to have his manhood examined.

Which brings me to the men who married Thomasina
and Calla. The story did not give them anything to say, which is why the story did not give them names. But I don't like people wandering around in a story without names, so I'm going to call them Dumb and Dumber.

The only reason they wanted to marry Thomasina and Calla was because they were good to look at. So is chocolate cake, but nobody has ever married one (though there are women I know who if given a choice between a lifetime supply of good chocolate and their husbands would not think twice about telling their husbands to start packing). Dumb and Dumber couldn't think of anything else but how admired they would be for having such beautiful wives. If Dumb and Dumber had come and talked to me, I would have set them straight. A long time ago, between marriages number one and number two—or maybe it was during marriage number four. Well, whenever it was—I had a girlfriend who was
glamourlicious.
Every man who saw us together envied me. (I don't think women envied her for being with me, but that's neither here nor there.) For about a month, I enjoyed thinking about all the men who wished they were me. But after that, I was hoping one of them would come and take my place. My girlfriend was not interested in talking about anything except how beautiful she looked in this dress and that dress, and did this dress complement her eye color, and did that dress make her look fat? Being married to a glamourlicious woman was tiring.

If Dumb and Dumber had talked to me, I would have
also told them that one of the biggest problems in a marriage is what you expect of the other and what the other expects of you. The closer each person's expectations come to meeting and shaking hands with each other, the better the marriage is going to be. Unfortunately, Thomasina and Calla and Dumb and Dumber had expectations of each other as different as rocks and water.

Thomasina and Calla expected they would be living in palaces at least as large as the one in which they had grown up, have servants who would do whatever they asked, and that they would devote each day to making themselves beautiful. But when Thomasina and Calla arrived at their respective homes, they knew immediately that they and their husbands were living in different marriages.

Dumb and Dumber lived in large houses, but they were not palaces with paintings of the gods and goddesses on the walls, and gardens in which the shrubbery had been cultivated to look like unicorns and griffins. (And please don't interrupt the story and ask me what a griffin is. To tell the truth, I don't know; but it would not change the story one bit if I did know, so what does it matter?) Thomasina and Calla might have been able to adjust to the fact that their husbands did not live in palaces, but there was another and much bigger problem.

Dumb and Dumber each had only two servants, a man who served them and an old woman who did a poor job of cooking and cleaning. This meant that Thomasina and Calla would have to tend to the mending, washing, and
ironing of their many clothes, to mix and prepare their many rouges, powders, and perfumes, as well as to heat and pour the water they required for their many baths each day, And, Juno forbid, they would have to brush their own hair. Well, when they understood the situation, they fainted dead away.

The two sisters lived miles apart, but each knew immediately what had to be done and they did it without hesitating. They sent word to their father of their predicament. The king sent back eight servant girls, four for each daughter. And he also sent word that their younger sister had been taken by a monster. They could not have cared less about what happened to Psyche, but they also knew this: when opportunity knocks, you better open the door. They now had a good excuse to get away from their husbands and go home to be treated like they deserved. So, pretending anguish and concern for their baby sister, Thomasina and Calla took their servants and returned to the palace.

They had expected their return to be met with joy by their parents. But the king and queen were dressed in sackcloth, and mourning what they imagined Psyche's fate to have been. They scarcely noticed that their two older daughters had returned.

High on the list of things that Thomasina and Calla disliked was being ignored. Very quickly they realized there was only one way to get their parents' attention. They did not want to do it, but if they were going to be the center of attention, they had no choice.

"We will go to the mountain where Psyche was to meet the monster, and see if we can learn her fate," Calla announced to the king and queen.

"I've already lost one daughter," the king said. "I don't want to lose the two I have left."

"Don't worry, Father. We will be all right," Thomasina assured him. "Hopefully, when we return, we will have news of Psyche, perhaps good news." Calla looked at Thomasina in amazement at the ease with which Thomasina lied. If Calla had not known better, she would have believed that Thomasina actually cared about Psyche.

The king's mood brightened at the possibility that Psyche might yet live. And off the sisters went, disgusted with their father for his (mistaken as far as they were concerned) love for Psyche, but delighted to be away from their husbands, whom they hoped never to see again.

It was Auster, South Wind, who brought word to Cupid about the sisters. Well, to give credit where credit is due, it was the trees who told South Wind.

Trees know practically everything that goes on. Their leaves are like ears, and with that many ears, there is not much they don't hear. They might stand there looking dumb, but trees are smart. Not only do they hear words, they can also hear thoughts. The trees knew that the sisters
did not care about Psyche and that if they found her alive, they would kill her.

When South Wind blew through the trees, they told him everything they had heard. That's what's going on any time you see the wind shaking trees. The wind is collecting all the news the trees have learned that day. Then the wind spreads what it has learned to whoever needs to know. So, the next time a wind is blowing in your face, listen. The wind is trying to tell you something.

Cupid had no problem understanding what Auster told him, and that night he warned Psyche.

"My love, something may happen which will seek to destroy our relationship," he told her.

"What are you referring to?" Psyche wanted to know.

"It is your sisters. To win the affection of your parents, they are pretending to be distressed by what they believe to have been your death. Soon they will come to the top of the mountain from whence West Wind brought you here, to see if they can discover your fate. They will call out your name and you will hear them. I warn you: do not answer them. I will be deeply hurt if you do, and you will lose all you have now."

"Beloved, I would sooner die than do something that would hurt you."

But words uttered in darkness can lose much of their conviction when scrutinized in the light of day. Psyche had never been close to her sisters, nor they to her. If asked, Psyche would have said they hated her. But now that
Thomasina and Calla were coming to look for her, Psyche chose to ignore what she knew about them. And the thought of seeing her sisters made her even more aware of how lonely she was.

All that day Psyche cried. Her tears were not only from loneliness, however. These were also the tears of anger and resentment. How dare her husband, whoever he was, refuse to let her see her sisters. How dare he not allow her to, at the very least, take away their anguish by letting them know she was alive. How dare he!

Cupid heard her tears and came as soon as Night covered the sky. He held her in his arms, but her sobbing did not stop. Cupid may have been a god, but, in one respect, he was like practically all men: he could not withstand a woman's tears.

"Beloved Psyche. You promised me one thing, but you have spent the day regretting that promise. You are angry with me because you think I am denying you something you need. I assure you I am not. I seek only to save you from yourself and to save us. Alas, I see that it is not in my power. Do what you think best. But I warn you. When you realize the damage you have done, it will be too late to repair it."

If Psyche had stopped to ask how he knew about her sisters, how he knew she had cried all day, she would have understood that only a god could have such knowledge. But she was incapable of knowing anything except her overwhelming loneliness.

"Please understand," she began, "it would do my heart
so much good to see my sisters. They grieve for me and I need to let them know that not only am I alive, but that I am married. Would you mind if I gave them a few pieces of jewelry? I have more than I can ever wear. Please, my love." And she began to cry again.

"Do as you think best," Cupid responded. "But listen to me. Your sisters have minds that care only for evil. They will do everything they can to convince you to see what I look like. I repeat: if you look at me, all the happiness you have now will vanish."

"I understand," Psyche told him in all sincerity. "I would not do anything that would hurt our love. Even being held and kissed by Cupid himself could not fill me with the joy I find in your arms."

For an instant, Cupid was tempted to light the oil lamp and let her see from whose embrace and kisses came the joy she spoke of. But a sadness overcame him as he realized that Psyche would have said anything at that moment to get her way.

"I will command West Wind to bring your sisters here. You should pray that the gods will have mercy on your soul."

The next morning, Psyche had just finished breakfast when she heard two voices calling her name. "Psyche! Psyche!"

"My sisters!" she exclaimed. "My sisters are calling for me!"

Psyche called for West Wind. When he arrived, she instructed him to go to the mountain and bring the two women calling her name.

Psyche was waiting outside the palace when Favonius sat Thomasina and Calla down. She ran to greet them, giving both many hugs and kisses.

Thomasina and Calla were too busy looking at the garden and the palace to notice Psyche's demonstrations of affection.

"I am so happy to see you," Psyche told them. "Come in and let me show you my new home."

As the two sisters followed Psyche from room to room, their mouths opened wider and wider in disbelief at the wealth they saw. And if that were not enough, there were the invisible servants who prepared baths for them and, later, served them a sumptuous meal, which, they noticed, Psyche had done nothing to prepare.