Cursed: Brides of the Kindred 13 (59 page)

Stav shook his head. “So you’re saying I actually
died?
Not once but
three times?”

“You did.” Sylvan nodded.

“But…aren’t we supposed to see the bright lights of the last true home and the Goddess waving for us to join her?” Stav asked, frowning. “I didn’t see any of that. Or if I did, I don’t remember it.”

“Perhaps it simply wasn’t your time yet,” Sylvan said gently. “The Goddess takes her children when she deems them ready and not before.”

Stav frowned at him.

“And what are you telling me now—that I had better get ready? That she is coming for me sooner rather than later?”

Sylvan sighed. “I had hoped after some recovery time your heart might ‘bounce back’ as the humans say. But, well…”

“Well?” Stav prompted impatiently.

“It’s not.” The other male ran his fingers through his short, spiky blond hair. “In fact, the scan shows the results of the heart of a very aged male—one nearly triple your age. One that cannot…” He sighed again. “One that cannot keep going for much longer.”

“How long?” Stav asked harshly. “Just tell me—I need to know.”

“Maybe as much as a solar year…maybe as little as a few months. You won’t be in pain but you may get tired more often. And one day your heart will simply stop. I’m sorry.” Sylvan shook his head, looking deeply troubled. “You saved us all. I wish I had better news. I wish I could give you a new heart—do a transplant as the humans do. But as you know, Kindred organs are incompatible with any other Kindred so it is impossible.”

“I know you can’t give me a new heart,” Stavros said roughly. “You’re a healer not a miracle worker. Please believe me, Commander Sylvan—I don’t blame you.”

“Maybe I blame myself.” Sylvan sighed and ran a hand over his face. “We shouldn’t have sent you out to do this mission. I should have known it was too dangerous—too deadly.”

“And if not me, then who?” Stav demanded. “I was the only Sin Eater available—the only one who could do it. And I was glad to be of service. Glad to save the home world of the female I—” He broke off abruptly. “Glad to save Charlotte’s planet,” he finished at last.

“She stayed by you for the entire first forty-eight hours you were back, you know,” Sylvan said gently. “She was at your bedside night and day—she slept with her head on the foot of your bed and wouldn’t leave.”

“She was?” This was news to Stav. All he knew was that he had woken up alone that morning and hadn’t seen anyone he knew but Sylvan since.

“She was,” Commander Sylvan confirmed. “I finally sent her to the guest quarters to sleep in the early hours this morning. She was nearing exhaustion and I knew she would want to be fresh when you were awake and ready to speak to her.”

“Oh, well that’s…I did not know that.” Inside his chest, Stav’s heart clenched like a fist.

Like a
weak
fist,
whispered a derisive little voice in his head.
What does it matter if she stayed by your side—she probably only did it out of pity and gratitude. She hates your kind, remember? All Kindred are the enemy to her after what happened to her sister. And even if she didn’t hate you, if she suddenly came to you and said she returned your feelings and wanted you to bond her, what could you do? Nothing—absolutely nothing. It would be unethical to tie a female to you when you have so little time left. Six months to a year if you’re lucky. What kind of a relationship would that be? A short one, that’s what! One that would leave her wounded and broken when your heart finally stopped. One that—

A sharp rapping on the door of the medical suite interrupted his thoughts.

“I’ll get it,” Sylvan offered. He crossed to the door and opened it to reveal Charlotte dressed in a deep green dress that tied on one side. She was holding a bunch of Earth flowers he didn’t know the name of and seemed to be wiping her eyes.

“Hi—can Stav have company now?” she asked hopefully, looking at Commander Sylvan.

“I think it should be all right.” Sylvan smiled briefly. “Come in, Charlotte. But are you all right? Your eyes seem to be watering.”

“I’m fine,” she said a little too brightly. “Just these flowers—I think there’s something in them I’m allergic to.”

“Shall I take them and find a container with water?” Sylvan asked. “Sophia, my mate, has taught me all about the care of Earth flowers.”

“Sure, thanks.” She gave them to Sylvan distractedly.

“Then I will leave you two alone.” Sylvan closed the door discretely but Charlotte hardly seemed to notice. All her attention was on Stavros.

“So, how are you doing?”

“Just fine.” He sat up straighter in bed, trying to look more robust. “My Mark is bothering me some but other than that…”

“Oh, what’s wrong with it?” Charlotte came to his bedside quickly. “Let me see—are you itchy? Need your back scratched?” She motioned for him to lean forward.

As always, it moved him deeply that she was willing to lay hands on a part of him no other female would touch.

“It’s all right, you don’t need to bother yourself,” he said roughly, though he leaned forward as he spoke so she could see.

“Hmm…” Charlotte frowned as she ran her hands lightly over his bare back. Her soft touch sent prickles of sensation up and down his spine and Stav felt his shaft stiffen in the black satin sleep trousers he wore. Looking at her, he was suddenly aware of how low cut her green dress was. The v-shaped neck showed the creamy tops of her breasts and the silky material clung to her curves, outlining her broad hips and luscious ass.

Have to stop thinking of her this way. What’s wrong with you?

Abruptly he pulled his eyes away and tried to focus on something across the room instead. If only she would stop touching him—her soft, cool fingers running up and down his back were only making things worse!

“It looks…strange,” she said, breaking his train of thought. “Your Mark, I mean. It’s kind of…faded somehow. It’s lost all its rainbow colors and it’s not moving anymore. It looks just like any old black tattoo now. What does that mean?”

Stav shrugged. “I have no idea. I doubt anyone would but I suppose I could ask Commander Sylvan to come back and have a look at it.”

“Maybe later.” Charlotte drew back, letting one hand rest casually on his bare shoulder. “Before that, though, there’s something I need to do.” She had a determined look on her face.

“What?” Stav asked. But he had barely gotten the question out before she was leaning towards him.

Her warm, feminine scent was all around him and he could feel the silky brush of her blonde hair against the side of his face. Stav wanted more than anything to take her sweet, lush mouth with his own. But at the last minute he turned his head to one side, so that her kiss fell on his cheek rather than his lips.

Charlotte drew back, frowning.

“Why did you do that?”

“Why did
you?”
Stav countered, frowning. “Why try to kiss me now after all that’s happened? Now that I know how you feel about my kind?”

“Are you still worried about
that?”
Charlotte sighed and settled herself on the side of his bed, much closer than was strictly comfortable.

Gods, she smells so sweet!
Stavros wished he could draw her into his lap but he made himself sit still and not touch her.

“Worried about the way your sister was driven to suicide by two of my kind?” he asked stiffly. “And the way it made you hate all Kindred afterwards? Yes, it
does
worry me.”

“I don’t hate all Kindred. Not anymore.” Charlotte sighed. “Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but going through it all again when we were in the Temple of Regrets was probably the best thing that could have happened to me.”

“How so?” Stav couldn’t help remembering the awful scene—the tears she had shed as she begged her sister not to die, not to be dead. How could going through that awful experience twice be a good thing?

“It sort of…gave me a new perspective.” Charlotte looked thoughtful. “I realized I was angry at the wrong people. I was blaming the Kindred and blaming myself because I couldn’t let myself be angry at Missy.” She sighed and looked down at her hands. “She was always the timid one—always afraid of her shadow.”

“Was she?” It was hard to imagine the bold, forthright Charlotte having such a timid sister.

Charlotte nodded.

“I loved her so much but there’s no denying it. She thought she was taking the easy way out and she was—for
her
. But she left me behind with a crappy home situation—an abusive mom and a distant dad. She abandoned me because she was too afraid to face the future.” Charlotte raised her chin. “I’m angry with her for that. I love her—I will
always
love her—but I have a
right
to be angry. Suicide is a very selfish act—probably the most selfish thing anyone can do.” She reached down and entwined her fingers with his. “It’s Missy I’m mad at—not you,” she said quietly.

“Charlotte…” Stav didn’t know what to say. His head was full but no words came.
She doesn’t hate my kind…she doesn’t hate me!
If that was true, there might be a chance…His heart seemed to skip a beat and just like that, his hopes came crashing down. There was no chance—none. Even if she didn’t hate him—even if she loved him as he loved her—he couldn’t tie her to him. Not when he had less than a year to live.

“Stav?” She was looking at him, her heart in her big, brown eyes. Gods, she was so lovely it hurt to look at her!

He forced himself to look away and take back his hand.

“I am glad you finally came to terms with your sister’s death,” he said formally, coldly. “It is good to know that you don’t hate my people anymore—there are many brave warriors who would…who would care deeply for you. Maybe in time…” But he couldn’t go on—the words stuck in his throat.

“I already
have
someone who cares deeply for me,” Charlotte murmured, scooting closer. She leaned towards him and the front of her dress gaped open, showing more than the creamy tops of her breasts. Looking down, Stav saw she had on some kind of lacy undergarment that was black with little red flowers embroidered on it. It was so thin he was certain he would be able to see the tight pink points of her nipples through the material if she just leaned a little more forward…

No!
He dragged his eyes away forcibly and sat back, away from her.

“I am afraid…” He cleared his throat. “Afraid you have the wrong idea about how I feel for you.”

“No, I don’t—I
know
I don’t.” Charlotte lifted her chin, getting that stubborn look in her eyes. “You told me you loved me when we were…” her cheeks got red but she made herself go on. “When we were splitting the pillar back at J’lorgan’s Mind.”

Stavros looked away. “Much has changed since then.”

“What? You mean since you found out you only have…only have a year to live?” Her voice sounded choked for a moment and when Stav turned back to her, her eyes were suspiciously bright.

“You know? How?”

“How do you think? I was eavesdropping outside the door while Commander Sylvan was talking to you. I…” She bit her lip. “I didn’t
mean
to at first but when I heard what he was saying, well…I couldn’t stop listening.”

“So now you know,” Stav said bitterly. “You know why I can’t return your affection.”

“My
love.”
Charlotte corrected him with a frown. “I’ve been a fool from the minute I met you, Stav. I didn’t think I could care for you or that you really cared for me. It took almost losing you to open my eyes to the truth.” She leaned forward and took his face between her small, cool hands. “I love you, you big, stupid Kindred and nothing you can do or say will change that,” she said, looking him in the eyes.

Stav’s heart thumped hard in his chest and he wanted badly to kiss her. To crush her to him and take her mouth with his, to say that he loved her too—that he never wanted to be without her. But that wouldn’t be right. Wouldn’t be fair.

“I’m sorry,” he said drawing away from her touch, though it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. “But I can’t…can’t return your love. I don’t have much time left—maybe just a few solar months…”

“So you’d rather spend them moping around here in a hospital bed than with me?” There was a dangerous glint in Charlotte’s eyes as she spoke. “And before you answer, you’d better think long and hard, buddy. You’re on thin ice here—
very
thin ice.”

“Of
course
I want to spend my last few months or year or however long I have left with you!” Stavros said in a low, tense voice. “But the fact is, I
can’t
. It would not be fair to you to start a relationship that would inevitably end in tragedy. It would be subjecting you to what happened to your sister all over again.”