Curvaceous Heart (15 page)
Authors: Terri Pray
“About the ring, yes, you mentioned that.”
“More than that.”
He leaned against the kitchen counter. “And the ring can wait for a moment. I want to talk about you and me, how we both seem to need something here.”
Sue pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and settled down at the table, looking up at him. How many heart-to-heart conversations had she shared with Barb at their kitchen table? More than she cared to count.
“You know what D/s means?” Alan picked the chair opposite her. “And some of the other terms involved, like limits, red flags, safe words?”
“I think so, dominance and submission, right?” She took a moment to think about the rest of it. “Limits, they’re things a person cannot or will not do, or go past. Red flags I’m not sure
of,
and safe words are code words used to stop play of any sort?”
Alan nodded.
“Right.
Red flags are signs, warning signs, in a person that may mark them as being dangerous. Such as saying, as either a dominant or submissive, that you have no limits, or that they aren’t needed.”
All right, that made sense. “And you think that I’m…?”
“That you’re a dominant, or rather a woman with dominant tendencies. I don’t know how far that goes, but I’ve seen it very clearly in how you react around me.”
Sue cracked a smile. “I’ve never explored it with anyone other than you. I’ve just spent a lot of free time reading -- well, erotica I guess you would call it. Ones where men are submissive and women are dominant.”
“So it’s something that’s drawn you for a while.”
Sue nodded as she curled her hands around the steaming mug. “I’m just not sure what to do now.”
“We take some baby steps, find out a little more about where our desires lie. If you want to take this further than what we’ve already done.”
Did she?
Hell, yes!
“Okay, and if I said yes, what then?”
“What do you want to do? I’m willing to explore this with you, slowly of course. I don’t want to rush you into anything and there will be a lot of things we have to look into. What we want to do, how we wish to take things, but if it’s what you want -- well, it’s what I want, no, what I need.”
For a moment, Sue didn’t trust herself to speak. It was one thing to dream about this type of thing, it was another to have a man offer her the chance to explore things further. And this wasn’t just any man; he was her boss, so how was that supposed to work?
Her head threatened to start pounding.
“Why me?
Why not go to a woman you pay so you know it’s kept secret?”
“If all I wanted was someone to beat my ass, or make me lick boots on occasions then yes, I’d find a dominatrix to sport with. But I need more than that. I want the whole package. I want a woman who can be my wife, my partner, my lover, and who isn’t afraid to be dominant with me in the bedroom, or beyond that if it’s what we decide we both want.”
“And you think that person, that partner, is me?”
“I don’t know for certain. I want to say yes, that I know without a doubt that you and I are meant to be together. But nothing in life is certain, is it? I only know that I’m more comfortable with you than I’ve ever been with any other woman I’ve known before. There’s something here, I can feel it. I just don’t know where it will end up.” He reached across the table, taking one of her hands in his. “But I want to try.”
No declaration of love, or passion. No false words of hope.
Just a soft smile that reflected in his eyes.
The touch of his hand against hers.
And something else.
Honesty.
“I was expecting something else,” she admitted, quietly.
“Ah, you mean something more along the lines of me stating I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you?”
Sue nodded.
“And are you disappointed that I didn’t say that?”
“A little.”
What woman didn’t want to hear that they were loved? “But we don’t know each other that well, do
we
?”
“Enough to know that I care about you.
No, it’s more than that, but would you really believe it if I said that I loved you right now? We’ve not spent that much time together…”
She blinked. Had she heard him correctly? Or was she just reading between the lines? “Alan? Are you saying that you love me?”
Alan
fell
silent, but kept hold of her hand, his brow furrowing.
“Or am I being foolish?”
“No, not foolish.
I just -- yes, I love you. I just wanted it to be special when I told you.
Romantic, even.
Not in the middle of a discussion about dominance and submission at my kitchen table. Call me old-fashioned but I imagined something more…well, beach, moonlight, and a diamond ring.” Alan gave a sheepish smile.
Romantic?
Didn’t he understand what hearing those words, knowing that he truly did love her, care for her, want to be with her, meant? How she felt?
Tears stung her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.
He’d wanted it to be special, not just a series of words, an empty declaration, or something said just so he could tumble her into bed again.
“Sue, did I say something wrong?” He squeezed her fingers. “You look as if you’re about to cry.
God.
Whatever it is, I’m sorry, please. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t.” Sue choked back the tears. How he could ever think she was a dominant when all she now wanted to do was cry was beyond her. Female dominants were strong, haughty, they didn’t care what their
submissives
felt, except on rare occasions, and they didn’t cry like this.
Did they?
“Then what is it?”
“I thought you were just playing with me. It’s just, no one’s ever taken the time to think about what I might -- how I’d like to hear those words the first time.”
Chapter Fifteen
Alan moved quickly around the table, wrapping his arms about her waist as he pulled her up out of the chair. “Oh love, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I’d never do that to you. I just didn’t want it to sound as though I was saying something just because you needed to hear it.”
Sue took a deep breath, trembling in his arms.
Did she think he was a jerk?
“Maybe you’re mistaken about me?” She gulped the words.
“I’m not sure what you mean.” He brushed back the hair from her eyes. She was soft, vulnerable, and delicious all rolled into one. How could he be wrong about how he felt towards her? Maybe he should have found a better way to tell her of his feelings, or just blurted them out instead of sounding like a complete moron, but what was done, was done.
“I’m not a dominant. No Mistress would ever start sobbing the way I just did.”
Is that what she was afraid of?
“How can you say that? A dominant is still human; do you think they just switch off everything?”
“Well, no, but nothing I’ve read ever suggested that they cry over things like this, or that they care about how their submissive, or slave, feels.” She scuffed the back of one hand over her eyes.
“Oh love,
sheesh
. Ever thought that those books of yours wouldn’t sell as well if the dominants ever showed a scrap of real human emotion? They’re fantasy, not reality. Real people think, feel and yes, even cry, regardless of what type of relationship they are involved in.”
“Are you sure?” Sue trembled under his touch, her breath coming in soft gasps as she slowly blinked the last of the tears free from her eyes. “I don’t want you thinking that I’m something I’m not. It wouldn’t be right, it just -- even if it bought us both a few months of fun together it would eventually break down and we’d hate each other.”
“I could never hate you.”
Sue pushed back from him, looking him straight in the eyes. “Yes, you could. If you love someone it’s easy for that love to turn to hate if you feel as though you’ve been betrayed or lied to in some way. They’re two sides of the same coin.”
“I could dispute that.”
Her lips quirked into a slight smile.
“Are you disagreeing with your Mistress?”
He laughed, shaking his head. “And here I thought you wanted to take things slowly?”
“I do -- but --”
“And yes, I can disagree with someone even if I’ve submitted to them, just as long as I’m polite about it. Respect, manners, they’re important. Even if you wanted to call me every name under the sun when we’re playing, or I’m,
erm
, serving you, we’d keep that for our games only, not everyday use.”
“I didn’t know that.”
The tears had passed, her nerves easing, or so it appeared to Alan. Her gaze narrowed then shifted as she glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Do we have time to talk about this now? I mean, we still have to do something about those men and the
blogger
ring.”
“I think it’s about time you showed me just what they are saying on that ring, don’t you?” He nodded towards his computer in the small office room. “If you wouldn’t mind showing me what you’ve found.”
He’d taken a brief look over the pages, but he’d spent most of his time focusing on Sue.
Perhaps too much time.
He frowned slightly, only to smile as he shook his head and walked into the office. She was already acting like a dominant, getting him back on track. She might not know much about how a Mistress was supposed to act, but her instincts were there.
“Haven’t you seen it for yourself?” Sue claimed the chair in front of the computer and booted it up.
“Just a quick glance.”
Tiny lines tightened around the corners of her eyes and mouth. “If it was that important to you I would have thought you’ve had spent more time investigating it.”
Color and heat flushed across his cheeks. “I’m afraid I let myself get distracted by you.”
“
Hm
, not good,” she muttered, waiting for the screen to go through its loading warnings. “You might have missed something important.”
He moved behind her and wrapped his arms about her shoulders, resting his chin on the top of her head. “You’re important to me.”
“And what these men are doing isn’t?”
“No, I didn’t say that.”
“Alan, you help to run a business. Certain things can wait; the business and your responsibilities to
it,
can’t. I would have understood, or even helped you.” Tension flared across her shoulders and back.
“You’re annoyed with me?”
“A little, yes. My hand’s itching.”
“Pardon?”
She turned a little, looking up at him as he was forced to lift his chin away from her head. “I have this sudden desire to -- well, to spank you and remind you what’s important in life. Sorry. Maybe I’m getting into the idea of being a Mistress far too much.”
“Part of being someone’s dominant is correcting them if they forget things, or they misbehave. Or it can be if the two involved want that.” He nodded towards the screen. “Okay, do you recall the address?”
Sue turned her full attention back to the computer, her fingers dancing over the keyboard as she tapped in the web address. “There.”
The page loaded quickly and as Alan read down the screen his heart sank.
“Looks like they’ve been busy,” Sue murmured, her voice little more than a whisper.
“Another date, another set of stats.
And
The name threatened to stick in his throat. “There are details about her visit to the office.”
“Who is she?” Sue’s voice turned ice cold. “Naked under her coat, we all know what the boss was up to? What the fuck is going on? I thought you weren’t seeing anyone?”
“I’m not!” How in
hell’s name
had this
Dangerous Liaisons
known about
His father had known about the visit and some of the details, but his own dad? Try to bring down the company? No, that didn’t make sense. Alan dismissed the idea almost as quickly as it sprang to life.
“Then what was she doing in your office, half naked, if not fully naked. Just what do you think I am?
Some sort of desperate fool?”
He took a step back from the chair, trying to read over her shoulder at the same time. “Sue, please, calm down. It wasn’t like that.”
“Then just what was it like? She was in your office the very same day that you asked me out! How could you!”
He opened his mouth, trying to speak. How could he explain to her what had happened? She wasn’t going to believe him. He wouldn’t have if the roles had been reversed.
“No excuses for me?” She crossed her arms under her breasts, staring at him. “Come on, tell me something. Some sweet little
lie
to make things all better between us? I’m sure you’ve pulled this with other women before.”
“Do you really think that about me? That I’m the sort of man who would jump from one woman to the next?” His shoulders tightened, the muscles threatening to bunch. “Sue, I’m not like that. You know the lies they’ve been spreading on that site, and do you really think I’d take the risk of having sex with someone in my office when anyone might walk in? Please, think about this.”
“You’re the
boss,
you can stop people from walking in.”
“Right, except for one thing.
My father comes into the office on a regular basis. Ask around, everyone knows that. He’d been there once already during the day, so why would I risk being caught by my dad? Especially with all the shit that has been going on. Think for a minute. Do I ever even normally date women at work, or hit on them?”
This wasn’t happening.
How could she think he would do something like this to her?
Because every other man she’s been involved with has dumped on her in some way
.
“Everyone I’ve spoken to told me you didn’t hit on women at work. Even that secretary of yours was bemoaning the fact you don’t…” Sue’s words tapered off.
