Cut to the Bone (26 page)

‘She’s hardly a child,’ he said.

‘You disgust me.’

‘It’s all in your head, Susan, always has been.’

‘Really? I saw the way you fawned all over her at her launch party. You cried when she thanked you in her speech. It’s on You-fucking-Tube. You hanging on her every word. I don’t even know why you were there. She’s not your client anymore. Except I do know exactly why you were there.’

‘Stop watching things and reading your paranoia into them.’

Rourke picked up the empty glass, licking drops of whisky from the rim. He refilled it, swallowed half of it.

‘You better start treating me better, Karl,’ she said, coming up behind him. Rourke felt the hairs on his neck prick up.

‘I treat you the way you deserve,’ he said. His voice was tight; he shouldn’t have said that.

‘You bastard,’ she spat. ‘I can destroy you.’

He should have let it go, let her go. He didn’t, he turned to face her, the words pushing out of him, goading her. ‘Do your worst,’ he said.

‘I mean it. After everything I’ve done for you . . . treat me right, or else . . .’

‘Or else what?’ he said.

‘Otherwise I’ll tell the police how your alibi is a lie. How you weren’t really with me, and how you disappeared the night your precious little Ruby did.’

Rourke drained his glass, left Susan to her rage. He was shaking when he tried to undress. Out of nerves or fear, he didn’t know.

PART FOUR

HEART OF DARKNESS

Chapter Seventy-four

DS Stevie Brennan was still bemused by the army of girls that had threatened her outside Southwark police station. How could they be so enamoured with Dan Grant that they turned into mindless zombies? Stevie had dealt with enough drug dealers, murderers and gang members. She’d done a stint with psychopaths, even. And yet she’d never felt so nervous as when confronted by eight hundred screaming girls, baying for blood. Police blood. Her blood.

A police constable had sat and watched all three hundred of Ruby’s videos posted online. Those of interest had been forwarded to Stevie, who was now looking through them.

This petite girl, very conventional in some ways, the sort of polished middle-class white girl she had once thought she should aspire to be. She laughed now, thinking how she would have hated that skin. Stevie was meant to be something else, and she was thankful she was just that.

The office was quiet. Michelle was at her computer. Riley and Harris had gone to speak to Jed Byrne. Riley was pursuing every tentative lead she could, Justin Hope having called her in and bollocked her that morning. Pelt was out with Hampshire police again, seeing if they could expand their forensic search.

Ruby seemed so alive, looking into the camera directly, her smile easy and her voice soft.

Hey, guys, how are you? So this video is a bit serious, but I think it’s important I make it. I’ve talked before about the way I feel, the days when I wake up sometimes and don’t think I can face the world. I’m so glad it’s helped some of you; your comments always make me think this is worthwhile. So today, I wanted to talk about when things go really badly. And you guys are all so supportive, and it makes this whole thing easier.

Ruby is in her bedroom, the camera picking up her bed, the blinds down on the windows behind her.

I just wanted to say, there’s no shame in feeling like this. When sometimes things are getting so bad that you feel all alone, lost, and think you might not be able to cope, there’s no shame in getting help. I let the girls that treated me so badly have a hold on me for years. I remember the fear of waking up every morning, dreading going into school to face them. All the harsh words they ever said, the taunts about my weight. I try to block it out, but it comes back in flashes, and I can picture it. All these years later, I know exactly where I was, and what they said. And it makes me angry, that they had that control over me. And for what? Because I wasn’t some silly size for a girl to be anyway?

Ruby runs her fingers through her hair, shakes lose strands into the air. Her rage, her upset falling away with them. Her voice is calm again.

But all that hatred, it was only hurting me. I was tormenting myself, making myself ill. The people that made me feel like that, they will never be sorry or ashamed for what they did. So why should I give them power over me now? Wanting to hurt them, get them back, destroy them, all it does is raise my own stress and blood pressure. Makes me anxious and angry. I am killing myself slowly if I let them win. So I wanted to say to them that I forgive them. Not for them, but because I want to let this poison go.

And I can do that because of you guys, always there for me, whenever I need you. You draw the poison out of me, and I feel safe and secure in this space. This little place we share, where it’s just you and me. Alone.

Stevie, despite her revulsion at the cosmetic front, felt herself warming to this girl. She was doing something useful, she supposed. And the vulnerability of being watched by millions, and still having a crisis of self-esteem. And to tell the world that, not trying to portray an image of perfection.

‘Fuck this. I’m being sucked in,’ Stevie commented to Michelle.

‘Anything useful?’

‘I just feel for her. Stuck in that cellar, out in the woods. Her mental state must have been shit; she must have been terrified. Poor cow.’

‘You think someone else is already missing? The next victim, I mean. What if they’re already locked up, or being killed right now?’

Stevie pulled up another video. This one was Ruby speaking about her successful make-up launch, Any Size. Stevie cringed at the obsession with objectification.

Hey, guys, just little old me, Ruby. So just had my launch for my new make-up range. And it was amazing. I know I use that word a lot, but actually it was amazing. So thank you to you all, and thank you for your support and getting me to here.

I love make-up, and I’ve called it Any Size because that’s what make-up is. It doesn’t matter what size you are, how old you are, what colour you are, if you’re gay or straight, make-up is yours to use. Anyone can enjoy it, and I hope with the tips I’ve given, you will use it to make yourself feel amazing as well.

Ruby is in a hotel room in the video, with her boyfriend. Another girl is there, Clarissa, another YouTuber.

Anyway I’m having a bit of an after-party with some of my besties, just having a bit of a break from the main events. Aw, guys, that was an amazing night. I had a great night, didn’t you, guys?

Clarissa agrees, congratulating Ruby on her success.

Didn’t you?

Her boyfriend looks at the camera, doesn’t answer, but instead puts breadsticks into his mouth, doing a walrus impression for the viewers.

‘I don’t think the boyfriend liked playing second fiddle to Ruby,’ said Stevie. He couldn’t bring himself to congratulate Ruby like Clarissa had, instead was doing tricks to pull the attention back to him. And why walrus? Was he trying to say something to Ruby about her weight?

‘Dan’s just posted a video,’ said Michelle.

Stevie walked over to Michelle’s terminal, pulled up a chair. The video was shot in Dan’s bedroom. Why were they so obsessed with their bedrooms? Girls must have been fascinated, curious to know what a boy’s personal space was like. Good job they didn’t have smellovision yet, thought Stevie. And Dan was hiding his mess.

Yo, thanks for watching this. It’s a bit more serious shit than I usually like to post. I thought it was important though, after everything that’s gone on. It’s been a crazy few days, what with Ruby gone, and then the police involvement. How they could think it was me, I can’t believe it. I mean, I love her. Loved her.

Dan blinks at the camera, wipes his hands over his face, as though holding back his emotion.

But you know, despite how they treated me, I get it. I understand. They were just doing their jobs, right? Trying to eliminate everyone, so they can find out where Ruby is. And I believe they will find her. I can’t believe she’s dead, I just can’t . . .

Sorry, it’s too difficult for me right now. I just wanted to let you all know that I’m cool, and that I’m OK. Thanks for all your messages and Twitter hashtags, it’s been humbling. Anyway, I might go offline for a bit. And just hope Ruby is OK. Even though I know she might not be.

Peace out.

‘Oscar-worthy,’ said Stevie. ‘Prick. He makes me so angry,’ said Stevie. ‘Look at that! He’s acting as though he’s blameless. I feel like posting his drug habit online.’

‘The dealer only testified to the fact that Dan was with him, not what they were doing,’ said Michelle.

‘Give me a few minutes alone with him, and he’ll be testifying to anything we say.’

Stevie went back to her own computer. The next video was odd. It was Ruby, just woken up, no make-up, sounding hoarse.

I think everyone goes through this, questioning themselves. What am I doing with my life? What is this all for? For so long I was on the outside, so alone. And now, with you guys all out there, supporting me, I feel finally as though I’m not an outcast. I feel normal. You’ve all taught me normal is so mixed, it’s so many things. I just need to figure out what to do now, what to do next. I don’t want to take you all for granted. Things have happened, and I need to really think about what my priorities are.

Ruby looks into the camera, there are tears forming in her eyes.

Sorry for being so raw with you all today. But I know you understand me. No one else does, I really believe that.

Stevie made a note of the time and date: it was the week before Ruby disappeared. What was she so worried about or conflicted about?

The next video had Ruby sans make-up again, her eyes swollen.

‘I know that look,’ said Stevie. ‘Before I decided men were all shits and had to be kept at a distance.’

‘Ouch, poor men,’ said Michelle.

‘Whatever,’ said Stevie.

Ruby was dressed in a jumper too large for her, comfort dressing as Stevie liked to call it, her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Guys, I might not post a video for a while. I just need to clear my head. Please keep commenting, and I will check your messages. I just need to go quiet for a while, just a few days. I’ll miss you guys, but I’ll be back. I have something important to tell you, and I just need to make sure I do it right. Love you always. I can’t say at the moment.

A bitter laugh at this.

But I know you will all still be there when I’m back. And I know you’ll support me, whatever I tell you. No one understands me, no one really gets me apart from you.

Stevie checked the date, and then checked her list. She logged on to Ruby’s channel. It was the last video Ruby had posted.

Chapter Seventy-five

Michelle was on the phone to her daughter’s school. There had been an incident; her daughter had just bitten another child.

‘I assure you, Mrs Hadley, she has never exhibited this behaviour in the past. And has never bitten, any other child. Was she provoked?’

Michelle listened as the deputy head teacher told her how offended she was, thinking she would allow children to provoke others.

‘I wasn’t suggesting you don’t have a safe environment, I am just curious what made Maya bite this boy.’

More official speak.

‘Yes, of course, I will come in this evening with my husband.’

Please don’t ask me to come and collect Maya now, she thought. Luckily, the school agreed not to insist her daughter go home, but would keep an eye on her.

‘Trouble?’ said Stevie.

‘Yes. I hope it’s not my fault. I missed saying goodnight to her last night, because I was so busy here. I really hope that’s not what caused this.’

‘She’s tough, just like her mum. A slipped goodnight won’t be affecting her. What happened, anyway?’

Michelle explained. Stevie grinned.

‘Don’t worry about it. I used to bite boys in class all the time. They’re so fucking annoying, even aged five. Maya will be just fine.’

Michelle didn’t like to say how she didn’t want her daughter growing up to be like Brennan. She went back to what she was doing. It was what Riley had instructed: making sure everything was covered. Michelle had pulled up the CCTV from Windsor Court, and was spooling through it. It had been watched up to the time Ruby had supposedly left, when she didn’t appear on camera. It hadn’t been watched after that.

Figures came and left, residents Michelle had no interest in.

But then, at midnight, there was a visitor. He came in via the back entrance. Michelle replayed the video, just to be sure. She called Stevie over.

‘Fuck me,’ she said. ‘What’s he doing there?’

Michelle uploaded the clip to an email and sent it to Riley and Harris.

Jed Byrne was a type. Kate imagined his clones in executive boardrooms across the world. Men burning with ambition and their own self-importance. Used to getting their own way, the thrill of screwing over their opposition as great as the satisfaction from winning. A hit that lasted as long as that from cocaine, and then the craving started again.

Kate had known too many men like that. They had burned her. She felt the resentment and antipathy travelling through her veins.

‘So you think demanding seventy per cent of her revenue was justifiable?’

‘Yes, I do. We got her those deals, the lucrative contracts. We told her how to demand her worth. Before MINDNET, she would advertise products for free. Under Karl Rourke, he didn’t have a clue, and in consequence neither did Ruby. We made sure that every time she mentioned a product, she got paid for it. And when she did a whole segment just using one product, we got her more than one of your officers probably earns in a month. We did the production, promotion. We got her on TV, in every worthwhile magazine. And you should see the money we bring in, bribes from diet companies, for example, asking Ruby not to use their products and lambast them.’