Daddy's Double Duty (14 page)

“Well, I didn't find her on the side of the road like you found Lass,” Conall joked, “but she's definitely the right one for me.”

Turning away from the horse, Brady gave him a weary smile. “That's all that matters. When's Liam coming home?”

“I don't know. Probably not until Del Mar closes on Labor Day. So let's hope he's taking a liking to all that sun and surf.”

Brady laughed out loud. “Liam in the surf? That'd be the day. He's spending every waking moment on the backside of the track. That's what he's doing.” He slapped a hand over Conall's shoulder. “I've got to get going. Dallas is staying at Angel Wings an hour later tonight to accommodate a little girl who's just gotten over a long illness, so Lass is expecting me to drive over and fetch her before dinnertime. And since my wife and I haven't had dinner together in the past two weeks, she'll kill me if I'm late.”

“I doubt it. Other than Vanna, I don't know of any woman who's more understanding than Lass.”

Brady started to stride away, then at the last minute turned back toward Conall. “Oh. By the way, I came down here to tell you that we found out who crashed their vehicle through the fence—a teenage boy from
over around Alto. The father found the damage to the truck and pressed his son for answers. The man is offering to pay for the fence repairs. I told him I'd discuss it with you and let him know.”

Conall shook his head. “Money isn't the issue. I'd rather the boy do the labor to repair the fence. Teach him a hell of a lot better lesson than his dad bailing him out with money.”

“That's exactly what I was thinking. I'll have a talk with the father and see what we can work out,” Brady said, then grinned. “By the way, I hope Vanessa knows what a hell of a daddy those twins are getting.”

Brady lifted his hand in farewell, then turned to hurry on to his waiting truck. Conall remained beside Hot Charlie's stall as all sorts of emotions swirled inside of him.

These past few days, he'd been torn between complete euphoria and stark terror. When Vanessa had made love to him and agreed to marry him, the joy he'd felt had put him on a cloud. She was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman and wife. Being with her, loving her, made his life complete. Yet in his quieter moments, nagging fear tried to intrude on his happiness.

There was going to be trouble—big trouble—if he didn't take Vanessa aside and talk to her about his condition. But since their night at the mountain cabin, when she'd agreed to marry him, things had quickly begun to barrel out of control. Not that he could use a hectic routine as an excuse. If he'd been any sort of man at all, he would have told her that night. But at the time, he'd not had the courage or the confidence to risk smashing the progress he'd made with her. He'd felt…no, he'd
known
that Vanessa needed more convincing of his love and he needed more time to do that convincing.

But that had been more than a week ago and now his mother and grandmother were already planning an engagement party for the two of them. In a matter of days, the ranch house would be full of friends, family and acquaintances. Everyone would be expecting them to announce their wedding date. But would there even be a wedding, he wondered, once Vanessa discovered he was sterile?

Once he returned to the office there was a stack of business calls he still needed to make. But business would have to wait, he decided, as he reached for the cell phone in his shirt pocket. Talking to Vanessa couldn't. If she was the wonderful, understanding woman that he believed her to be, then she would accept and empathize with the circumstance that had never been his fault.

Buoyed by the thought, Conall punched in Vanessa's cell number. After the fourth ring he was expecting her voice mail to end the call when she suddenly answered.

“Hello, Conall,” she said. “This is a surprise. I expected you to still be working.”

“I am. Sort of. I've been down at the shed rows talking with Walt. But I'm on my way back to the office to make a few calls before I quit for the evening.”

“Oh, do you need information? Maura and I are at the Blue Mesa having coffee. I can probably talk you through it.”

He smiled to himself. No matter what the situation, Vanessa was always the consummate secretary. “Everything is okay here. I'm calling to see about us getting together tonight. I thought I'd drive over to your place. That way I could see the twins. And we could…talk.”

Her low chuckle was sexy enough to curl his toes. “Talk? You really think that would happen?”

He closed his eyes as the images of her naked and writhing beneath him rolled into his mind. Talking to Vanessa tonight was going to be difficult. In more ways than one. “Well, we do have things to discuss. Important things. Like making a date for our wedding. And…other things,” he added. He drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “Will you be in town for much longer?”

“Not much, I don't think. Let me check with Maura,” she told him. She went off the line, but in the background he could hear the faint sounds of music and the casual chatter of voices, intermingled with street traffic. When she finally returned, she said, “We'll be leaving here soon, Conall. So I'll be home by the time you get there.”

“Great. I'll see you then, darlin'.”

Vanessa closed her cell phone and reached for her cooling coffee. Across the outdoor table, Maura smiled shrewdly.

“So what's my brother doing? Already giving you orders before you even get married?”

Chuckling, Vanessa said, “He's my boss. He's supposed to give me orders.”

With a good-natured groan, Maura shook her head. “It's clear that he has you right where he wants you.”

After a long sip of coffee, Vanessa looked over the rim of her cup at her longtime friend. “I can truthfully say I'm right where I want to be.”

Smiling with approval, Conall's eldest sister sliced her fork into a piece of blueberry pie. “Hmm. Well, I can honestly say that Conall appears to be right where he wants to be, too.” She chewed, swallowed, then released a sigh of contentment. “This is so nice, Vanessa, the two of us getting out like this together. Since you've returned to Lincoln County we've hardly had any time
to spend together. I hope that changes and we can have more days like this. You've not even been out to see the Golden Spur yet.”

“I will soon,” Vanessa promised. “After we're married Conall wants to find someone to help me in the office. He thinks I need to be home with the twins for at least half of every workday and I agree with that. I want the twins to bond with me and know me as their mother, not just a woman they see in the mornings and at night. Still, I don't want to give up working completely. Does that sound selfish?”

“Not to me,” Maura said between bites of the rich dessert. “After Riley was born I cut my weekly work hours down to half. And since Clancy arrived back in April I've cut them even more. But I've not quit nursing entirely. I believe some women need outside interest, too. Like me. Otherwise we'd become as dull as dishwater. And no man wants a dull wife.”

Vanessa took a long sip of coffee before she replied, “Well, working a half day will be plenty for me until the twins get older.”

Maura smiled suggestively. “And who knows, by then you and Conall might want more children.”

Vanessa felt a blush creep across her cheeks. If she'd not had the forethought to stay on the oral birth control she'd used during her marriage, she would probably be pregnant with Conall's child at this moment. That night they'd first made love, she'd been so besotted and lost in the man she'd forgotten to mention she was protected and apparently he'd forgotten to ask. Later, when she tried to assure him that there was nothing to worry about, that she was on oral contraceptives, he'd quickly dismissed the whole thing. As though getting her pregnant would be a welcome idea with him.

She'd not yet talked with him about having any future children. But she had no doubts that he would want them. As crazy as he was about the twins, she couldn't imagine him wanting to stop with just the two.

“Maybe,” Vanessa said, then before she could stop it, a happy laugh slipped past her lips. “Oh, Maura, it's still hard for me to take everything in. First the twins and now becoming Conall's wife. In my wildest imaginings I couldn't have pictured this happening to me. I look back now and wonder why I was fighting Conall so hard and refusing to accept his proposal.”

Her pie gone, Maura pushed the plate aside and reached for her coffee. “I remember the feeling well. I fought Quint for a long time before I ever agreed to marry him. But a woman wants to know she's loved for herself, not because of a baby. And Gilbert had done such a job of deceiving me that I…was scared to trust any man. Thank God Quint was persistent.”

“I'm very happy that Conall didn't give up on me, either.”

Vanessa placed her empty cup back on its saucer and reached for her handbag. “If you're ready we should probably be going. I need to tidy up the house—and myself—before Conall gets there.”

Reaching across the table, Maura placed her hand over Vanessa's. “Before we go, I just wanted to say how glad I am that you're going to be my sister-in-law. I couldn't have picked any better woman for my brother. He's been so…well, dark and lost after the mess he went through with Nancy. I was afraid he'd never let himself love again. But you've made him so happy and I know you always will. You'd never try to hurt or manipulate him like she did. And you'd certainly never stop loving him just because of his condition.”

Vanessa suddenly froze. “Condition?” she repeated blankly.

Maura's auburn brows pulled together. “Why, yes. You know—
his condition.”

Thrown for a loop, Vanessa's mind began to race down a tangle of dark roads. If there was something personal about Conall that she wasn't aware of, something he should have told her already, the last thing she wanted was for Maura to explain. That could only cause trouble between brother and sister. And whatever it was, she wanted to hear it directly from the man she planned to marry.

“Oh, yes,” she said with feigned dawning. “That… None of that matters to me.”

Maura's smile was full of approval and relief. “That's one of the reasons I've always loved you, Vanessa. You don't expect a person to be perfect.”

Her mouth suddenly felt like she'd walked through Death Valley in mid-July. She reached for her water glass and after a long drink, tried to speak casually. “I'm hardly perfect myself, Maura. I can't expect others to be.”

Just as Maura started to reply, her cell phone went off and the other woman quickly began to fish the device from her handbag. Vanessa was grateful for the diversion. She couldn't continue to fake this train of conversation.

“Excuse me, Vanessa, it's Quint. I'd better see what he needs.”

While Maura exchanged a few short words with her husband, Vanessa's mind tumbled end over end. What could be wrong with Conall? A recurring health problem? That was hard to believe. During the time she'd worked for him, she'd never seen him sick or even close
to it. He appeared as healthy as the horses he bred and raised.

The snapping sound of Maura's phone being shut jerked Vanessa out of her whirling thoughts and she looked across the table at her friend's apologetic face.

“I hate to end the day so abruptly, Vanna, but Quint's grandfather is feeling a bit puny and he wants me to drive out to Apache Wells and check on him before I go home. It's forty minutes from here, so I need to hit the road.”

As she stood up, she tossed several bills onto the table. “That ought to take care of everything here.”

Rising to her feet also, Vanessa quickly grabbed up the money and thrust it back at the other woman. “Here. I'll take care of things.”

“No arguments. It's my treat today, sweetie.” She pressed a quick kiss on Vanessa's cheek. “See you soon. And I promise you that Conall's eyes are going to pop out of his head when he sees you in the dress we found today.”

Smiling as brightly as she could, Vanessa waved her friend off, then went to pay the check. A few minutes later, she was on the highway, driving home to Tinnie as fast as the speed limit would allow.

 

Conall had never been known for being a nervous person. In fact, his brothers had often accused him of having ice water in his veins and his mother had regularly referred to him as a piece of unmoving granite. But if they could see his insides now as he drove to Vanessa's place, they would all believe they were looking at some other man, not him. His stomach was clenched into a tight, burning knot and his heart was hammering at
such a rate, the blood was pounding like a jackhammer against his temples.

He'd never agonized over discussing anything with anyone. Especially when he knew he'd be talking to a level-headed, sensible person. And Vanessa was definitely both of those things. Plus, she was understanding. So he had nothing to worry about, he told himself as he pulled his truck to a stop in front of the small Valdez house. Except his whole future.

V
anessa answered the door after his first knock and before he stepped over the threshold, he pulled her into his arms and placed a long, reckless kiss on her lips.

“Mmm,” she exclaimed with a little laugh. “Gauging by that greeting I'd say you've missed me a little today. Maybe it's a good thing I told Hannah she could have the evening off.”

His arms tightened briefly around her waist and as the sweet scent of her rose to his nostrils, he desperately wished the only thing he needed to say to her were words of love and longing.

He peered over her shoulder. “She's not here?”

Vanessa stepped back and allowed him to enter the house. As she shut the door behind him, she said, “No. She left a half hour ago. I've been feeding the twins and now they're both down for the count.”

“Oh. I was hoping they'd still be awake,” he said as
they gravitated away from the door, to the middle of the small living room. “It seems like ages since I've had a chance to hold them.”

“It seems like ages since you've held me,” she replied.

With an eager groan he pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, but this time he sensed she wasn't fully focused on him and when he lifted his head, he could see there was a tiny frown creasing her smooth forehead.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing. I hope.” Turning away from him, she gestured toward the kitchen. “Would you like something to eat?”

“No. Maybe later.”

She clasped her hands in front of her. “All right. You said you wanted to talk. Let's talk.”

For some reason he couldn't figure, she was on edge, even a tad cool, and he realized her unusual mood was only going to make his task harder.

“I'm trying to decide if we should discuss anything right now.” Rather than make his way toward the couch, he continued to search her face. The closer inspection revealed a paleness he'd not noticed when she'd first answered the door. “You're not yourself tonight.”

Her shoulders suddenly sagged and she let out a long breath. “Okay, I confess. I'm not myself. I'm actually worried sick about you.”

Conall frowned with amused confusion. “Me? I'm great. Everything about me is great. And it'll be even better after we set our wedding date.”

With a look of enormous relief, she sagged limply toward him and rested her cheek against the middle of
his chest. “Oh, thank God. I thought…well, I've been imagining all sorts of horrible things.”

Totally confused, Conall wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Why would you be doing that, honey? Surely you can see that everything is fine with me.”

“I know,” she said with a tiny sniff. “But I was afraid that…well, after what Maura said, that you might have a recurring disease or something. Since she's a nurse and—”

For once Conall felt as though there was actually ice water in his veins and it was freezing him with dread. “What exactly did Maura say?” he asked stiffly.

Leaning back, she looked up at him. “Nothing particular. Just something offhand about your condition. I didn't press her to explain. Whatever it is, I wanted to hear it from you.”

With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he took her by the arm and led her over to the couch. “I think we'd both better sit,” he said.

By the time they were settled and facing each other on the cushions, her brown eyes were dark with concern. Conall reached for one of her hands and clasped it tightly between the two of his.

“What is it, Conall? The way you're looking at me—it frightens me.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.” He shook his head, then lifted his face toward the ceiling and closed his eyes. “I'm not doing this right. But then, I don't guess there is a right way,” he murmured. “I should have told you about this days ago. Weeks ago, even. But I couldn't bring myself to.”

“Why?”

Struggling to keep the bitterness from his voice, he
said, “Because the information has always produced a negative reaction. Especially with women.”

Her brows arched with surprise. “Women? I don't understand. You're certainly not frigid or impotent.”

If he hadn't felt so sick inside he could have laughed. “No. I'm glad you figured that out.”

Her free hand moved over his and squeezed tightly. “I don't know what this is about. But there's nothing you could tell me that would make me stop loving you, Conall.”

“I hope to God that's true, Vanessa. I hope a few days from now we'll remember this moment and smile.”

Her lips gently curved at the corners. “Being with you anytime makes me smile,” she said, then laughed softly. “I sound like a hopeless cornball, don't I?”

Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss against her forehead. “And I've never seen a more lovely cornball.”

She sighed. “Oh, Conall, even if you are ill I can deal with it. We'll deal with it together.”

Easing his hand from beneath hers, he touched the side of her face. “I'm not ill, Vanessa, I promise. But I was once. When I was a very young child just learning to walk I had a viral infection that caused me to have a very high fever. I ended up having convulsions and my parents feared for my life. But eventually my body fought off the infection and I got well without any lasting effects, it seemed.”

Her head swung back and forth. “Why are you telling me this now, Conall? I don't understand.”

His eyes caught hers as he forced the words off his tongue. “Because you need to know why—why I can't have children.”

She stared and he could see from the confusion cross
ing her face that she was having difficulty absorbing what he'd just said.

“Do you mean…you—”

“I'm sterile, Vanessa. The fever affected my reproductive system. It doesn't occur often, but it does happen from time to time. And I didn't even know that anything was wrong until Nancy and I tried to get pregnant.”

“Oh. Oh, Conall…this is—” Her whole body sagged as though the air had literally been knocked from her. “I wasn't expecting anything like this.”

Slowly, she pulled her hand from his and rose to her feet. Conall stayed on the couch and watched as she began to absently move about the small room. Eventually she stopped at a small end table and picked up a framed photo of her parents. There was raw pain on her face as she studied the image and in that moment Conall hated himself. If he'd not fallen in love with her, if he'd not pushed her to marry him, she would have eventually found someone else, someone who could give her everything. Now, God only knew what all this was doing to her.

“I'm sorry, Vanessa,” he said hoarsely.

She didn't respond and after a moment he rose to his feet and walked across the room. As he came to stand beside her, she placed the photograph back on the table, then turned to face him.

“I'm sorry, too, Conall, that such a terrible thing ever happened to you. But mostly I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't tell me—long before—before I fell in love with you!”

Tears began to stream down her face and he realized there was an ache in the middle of his chest that made it almost impossible to breathe. If he was having a heart attack he probably deserved it, he thought. But he wasn't
ready to die. No, there was so much that he wanted for the two of them and the twins.

“You're right. I should have. But…you weren't exactly warming up to the idea of having any sort of relationship with me. If I'd suddenly blurted out the fact that I was sterile, you would have turned your back on me and not given us any chance for a future together.”

Her mouth fell open. “How do you know that I would have reacted that way? You didn't try!”

He curled his hands over the top of her shoulders. “Would you have given us a chance, Vanessa? Answer me truthfully.”

Her tear-filled eyes were full of agony as she searched his face. “I don't know. I've always wanted children. Jeff wouldn't give me any and—”

“You have two children now,” he pointed out. “Two beautiful, wonderful children. I want to be a father. Just like you want to be a mother.”

A perceptive light suddenly flickered in her eyes. “Ahh. I wasn't thinking. But I am now,” she said stiffly. “You want to be a father and I have two babies.” She rapped her fist against side of the head. “What a fool I've been! That's what this has been about all along. Everything you've done and said was all for the babies! I was just a…side dish for you!”

His face felt like a stiff clay mask as he spoke in a low, purposeful tone, “I thought…I hoped and prayed that you would be different from the others. That's one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. Because deep down I believed you would accept me for the man that I am instead of persecuting me for what I can't be. I can see now that I was wrong. Again,” he added bitterly.

Her expression incredulous, she shook her head.
“Don't try to make me the culprit, Conall! You asked me to marry you because of the twins!”

In spite of the pain ripping through him, the corners of Conall's mouth tilted into a wan smile. “You finally got something right about this whole situation, Vanessa. The twins were the very reason I proposed to you. I like to think they need me just as much as I need them. But mainly I figured you having the twins would make my sterility easier for you to accept. You already had two children and I was hoping they and me would be enough for you. I can clearly see we're not.”

Not bothering to wait for any sort of reply she might give him, he snatched up his hat, levered it onto his head and quietly let himself out of the house.

 

The next morning, after a night that had passed like a wide-awake nightmare for Vanessa, she dragged herself out of bed before daylight, and chugged down a cup of coffee before she finally found the courage to reach for the phone.

As she'd hoped, Conall wasn't yet in the office and she felt a measure of guilt when the voice mail answered. But she was in such a raw, emotional state she knew the mere sound of his voice would break her into sobs. Talking directly to him would only make matters worse.

Her throat aching, she swallowed and forced herself to speak. “This is Vanessa. I'm calling to let you know I won't be in to work today. If you…feel you need to replace me permanently I'll understand. Goodbye.”

As soon as she snapped the phone shut she began to weep and when Hannah walked into the kitchen, tears were still seeping from Vanessa's eyes.

On the way to the coffeepot, the woman yawned and swiped a tangle of dark hair from her face. “My, you're
up early,” she exclaimed. “Do you have to go into work earlier than usual this morning?”

Vanessa hurriedly made an effort to wipe her eyes. “No, I'm not going in today. I—I'm not sure I'll be working for…the Diamond D anymore.”

Pausing as she reached for a mug, Hannah glanced over her shoulder and suddenly noticed Vanessa's tearstained face. “What in the world is going on?”

Swallowing hard, Vanessa answered in a hoarse voice, “I don't know where to begin, Hannah. Everything is…over.”

Forgetting the coffee, the woman hurried over to where Vanessa sat at the small dining table and curled an arm around her shoulders. “Are you ill? I'll get the babies ready and drive you in to town to see a doctor.”

Since Hannah had become the twins' nanny, the two women had grown to be fast friends and Vanessa was beginning to think of her more as a sister than anything. At this very moment she felt like falling into Hannah's arms and sobbing her eyes out.

“No. I—I'm not ill.” She looked away from the other woman and struggled to gather her composure. “Something happened last night—between me and Conall. I— We're not going to be getting married…like we'd planned.”

Stepping back, Hannah looked at her. “Oh, no! I'm not going to believe this, honey. You two—why, you're perfect for each other.”

Closing her eyes, Vanessa pressed fingertips against her burning eyelids. Last night when Conall had walked out the door, she'd felt her heart rip right down the middle and for a few moments, she'd almost run after him. She'd wanted him to understand just how wrong he was about her. It wasn't his sterility that was a problem with
her. It was the fact that being a father to the twins appeared to be far more important to him than being a husband to her.

But she'd not run after him. Pride, confusion and anger had all stopped her. Now, as the morning sun was beginning to creep across the kitchen floor, she wondered if she'd saved herself from another loveless marriage, or ruined the best thing that could have ever happened to her.

Sighing, she said, “Nothing is perfect in this world, Hannah.”

“It's clear you're not thinking straight this morning, Vanessa. And I'm not going to pry into what happened. I'm just going to tell you to give yourself time. Whatever happened between the two of you will work itself out. I just know it.”

Vanessa wished she had the other woman's optimism, but at the moment all she could see was a long bleak road ahead of her. Even if she'd misjudged Conall's motives for marrying her, she'd hurt him deeply with all her accusations. She seriously doubted he would ever want anything else to do with her.

“I seriously doubt it, Hannah. And I…well, I hate to bring it up, but if Conall fires me then I won't be able to keep you on as the twins' nanny.” The idea of losing both Conall and Hannah brought a fresh spurt of tears to her eyes. “I'm so sorry.”

Squeezing Vanessa's shoulder, she said, “Look, honey, quit borrowing trouble. Conall is the one who hired me for this job and he's the one who signs my checks. Until he tells me otherwise, I'll be here. Now put your chin up and help me fix us a bit of breakfast before the twins start yelling for theirs.”

 

Almost two weeks later, Vanessa was surprised by a call from Gold Aspen Manor. The doctor had pronounced Alonzo fit enough to leave the nursing home for a few hours and she'd wasted no time in fetching him away from the facility and bringing him to the only home he'd known for the past sixty years.