Dagger's Edge (SEALs On Fire) (6 page)

Whoa. Where did the L word come from?

Butch put his beer down on the workbench with a thud, disturbing Dagger’s thoughts. He then spread his arms out wide. “Take a good look at me, Dean. What do you see?”

The unexpected question threw Dagger off balance. “What?”

“I said,” the old man repeated a little louder, “what do you see?”

Dagger hesitated. This had to be a trick question. All he saw was a shirtless old man with a hardened Buddha belly in a pair of baggy shorts. Other than that, Butch’s ancient cap, and his long overdue need to wear more sun screen, Dagger couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. “Listen, I’m not good at pop quizzes.”

“I’ll tell you what you see, then.” Butch took a moment to settle his considerable girth atop a wooden stool. Apparently, this would be his pulpit from which he would conduct his sermon. “This may come as a surprise to you. Behind this sexy exterior is a lonely man.”

Though the urge was strong, Dagger resisted letting out a laugh, as well as a groan. He stepped closer to the man who was more like a dad than his own biological father and put a hand on his leathery shoulder. “I’m not one-hundred percent sure where you’re going with this, but—”

“No, you don’t,” Butch cut in with a scowl. “What I’m about to tell you is important. Give me a chance to finish before you go poppin’ off your mouth.”

Dagger put his hands up in acquiescence. “Sorry. Sorry. Please do carry on.”

The salty dog grunted his approval of Dagger’s apology and repositioned himself on his perch. “I’ve had a good life. I’ve done what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it, including spending thirty-five years in the Navy, buying this here marina, and living on my boat. In my almost eighty years of living I can think of only one regret. That regret is never finding a good woman to love and having my own family. You, Brice, and Mia are the closest I have to kids. And as much as it looked like I was damned happy to see you all leave each summer, I wasn’t. I counted the days until I knew you would be back.”

Little did the weathered sailor know, Dagger felt much the same way. As much as he loved his mother, Brice’s family had become his own. And despite Butch’s grumpy demeanor, Dagger loved being around the old man. Butch had taught him everything he knew about boats, motors, and fixing engines. Dagger had looked forward to coming to the island as much for getting away from his difficult life in Wisconsin as to spending time with his “other” family.

“There’s two points in what I’m trying to tell you,” Butch continued, his expression more serious than Dagger had ever seen. “The first is don’t make the same mistake I did. Find someone to love and grow old with. Life is a long journey that’s not meant to be traveled alone.”

Dagger glanced at the marina office. Somewhere inside those white cinderblock walls, the girl he grew up with was working. The same girl who had frustrated and confounded him for as long as he could remember. His red-headed beauty with the sassy mouth and brilliant mind.

Could he be content with one woman for the rest of his life? Settle down in one place and have a family? Could he do what his father hadn’t done?

He had to be certain. Inflicting the kind of devastation and hurt his father had on him and his mother was absolutely not an option. He’d never want to cause the ones he cared for, the ones he loved, that kind of unspeakable pain. He’d suffer through a lonely life of his own before he’d commit the same sins of his father.

“You said there were two points?”

The old Chief nodded, then took off his faded denim cap and scratched the top of his prickly head. “I want to make you a proposition I hope you won’t refuse.”

Chapter Six

Lips swollen, tired as all get out, and everything between her thighs and her belly button screaming from soreness each time she moved, Mia had never been happier. Unfortunately, between her and Dean, she seemed to be the only one who felt this way. Since picking her up at the marina his mood had been sober. Quiet and contemplative, the big SEAL had spoken no more than a dozen sentences during their dinner overlooking the Atlantic’s crystal clear water. While they walked on the beach and watched the sun set over the Gulf of Mexico, he’d only grumbled something about dock occupancy, making no sense whatsoever.

Maybe she had made a mistake. Pushing herself on him, manipulating him until he finally broke down and had sex with her may not have been a good move. Not when the consequences meant losing the friend she’d had since childhood. For someone who was supposed to be so smart, how could she be so stupid and shortsighted?

Yet, this morning in bed, he had seemed genuinely happy, too. Had she read him wrong?

Most likely, he had a change of heart about what had happened last night as he spent his day hanging out with the other guys from Team Arapahoe, or whatever he had ended up doing. It wasn’t as though he’d shared with her what he had done all day long. Based on his mood, she certainly wasn’t going to ask. Whatever was going on, his silence and her uncertainty was about to drive her nutty.

When they stepped into her house, her anxiousness grew, tightening her chest until breathing required a concerted effort. Now that he had delivered her safely home, was he going to leave? Was this their last good-bye?

“Dean, if you don’t say something soon, I’m going to lose my mind.” To her dismay, her voice came out tinged with frustration. Not exactly the nonchalant she had strived for.

He shifted his large frame backward, an expression of confusion masking his handsome features. “What?”

“You’ve been quiet all night.” Mia tossed her keys and purse on a coffee table. “Where’s your head at?”

“Oh,” he muttered, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Sorry. Have a lot on my mind.”

His blue eyes still maintained a faraway look. His hulking body might be in her living room, but his thoughts were a thousand miles away. “I can tell.” She sighed, feeling the weight of the world pressing on her shoulders. “Is it me?”

Dean shook his head, seemed to think twice, then shrugged. “Yes and no.” He paced between the couch and the doorway. After his third go round, he threw up his hands. “Aw, hell Mia. I know I’m not good company tonight. Maybe I should go back to Brice’s place.”

“No!” The word flew from her pie hole before she realized she’d even opened it. Startled by her quick-fire response, she forced herself to take a deep, calming breath. Her heart had other another idea. It thudded so loudly she could barely think for all the racket.

“If this,” she waved her hand in the air, “has anything to do with me, I want to know. You’ve got me thinking all sorts of crazy things. Do me a favor and put me out of my misery.”

“I’m sorry.” He strode toward her and put her hands in his. “I really am. But I’m not ready to talk about anything yet.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re just going to leave me hanging?” She squeezed his hands until her fingers hurt. “Don’t do this to me, Dean. Please.”

He stood still for several moments. His face unreadable.

Damn your SEAL training. Give me something.

More time passed.

What could possibly be going through that shaggy head of yours?

Mia tilted her head and widened her eyes. Did he understand the international non-verbal message of
“
well
?”

“Okay. Okay. I give. Here, take a seat.” He led her to the couch and cleared his throat. “My enlistment is almost up. It’s time for me to either reenlist or get out of the Navy.”

His revelation was hardly the Earth-shattering news she’d expected. He’d done the reenlistment thing before. Why was this such a big deal? “And?”

A faint smile spread across his lips. “And I’ve been giving some thought about getting out. I love being a SEAL, it’s been one of the greatest experiences of my life, but I think I’m ready to move on and try something else. If I don’t, then by the time my next reenlistment comes up, I may as well stay in until I have my twenty. I can retire from the military and get a pension check every month.”

The exasperating man wasn’t getting to the good stuff. The part about her. “I can see why that would weigh heavily on your mind. Is there anything else?”
About me.

He nodded. “You know I saw Butch today, right?”

Good Lord, the man was the master of stalling.

“Yes. I saw you two talking in the repair shop.”

Dean’s faint smile turned into a look of pure chagrin. “He told me he wants me to come work at the marina. And,” his tanned face took on a reddish hue, “when he thinks I’m ready, he wants to sell it to me.”

“He wants to sell it to you?” Her already galloping brain was busy filling in the blanks.

Why was Butch selling? Was he sick?

Did that mean Dean would live on the island?

Could they finally start dating and carry on like two normal people?

“He said he’s ready to finally retire. He wants to live out the rest of his life rent free on his boat at the marina and, when he feels like it, fix a boat motor or two. What he didn’t come out and tell me is how much he wants for the place. But I’ve been saving every penny since I got into the service, and my investments have been doing well. I won’t have enough to buy the marina outright, but I’ll have enough for a good down payment. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to do a lease-to-own kind of deal.”

Still, not a word about how she fit into the picture. He had said she was involved in his thoughts. She was sure of it. Mia spied a pillow at the end of the couch and thought twice about beaning him over the head with it.

“I’m torn,” he added. “I’m not sure if I should take Butch up on his offer or stay in the service. Can you see my dilemma?”

“Yes,” she ground out, quickly losing her patience. Not that she had much to begin with anyway.

“And then there’s you.” He placed a rough hand beneath her chin and brushed lazy figure eights on her cheek with his thumb. “I’ve thought about you so much today.”

Heart caught firmly in her throat, she was unable to do anything more than remember to breathe.

Dagger licked his lips. “I don’t think I’m the right man for you.”

“What?” Mia batted away his hand. “After all these years, after last night, you have the nerve to tell me who the right man for me is? You horrible coward!” Incensed, she sprang to her feet, too charged with hurt and anger to remain seated. “If you’re not interested in me, then just came out and say so. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”

“It’s not like that,” he said, popping off the coach.

“Oh, sure.
It’s not you, it’s me.
” She drew quotation marks with her fingers. “That’s just about the oldest play in the book, buddy. Try again.”

“Mia, listen to me.” He grabbed her by the arms and bobbed his head until she looked him square in the eye. “I love you. I’ve been crazy about you since the first time I saw you. Why do you think I was following you and Brice around the day he got into that fight?”

Confusion clouded her brain. What he said wasn’t making any sense. “You love me, but you don’t think you’re the right man for me? Huh? Are we both speaking English?”

“You know what happened to my mom. When my dad left, he shattered her. He shattered me, too. Neither one of us ever fully got over it. I would never be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you. Ever. You mean too much to me.”

A powerful wave of emotion pushed through her. The toll of so many years worth waiting to hear his feelings about her and the reason why he’d behaved the way he had was too much. Her knees threatened to buckle. “Then don’t ever leave me.”

He pulled her into his embrace and rested his cheek on her head. “It’s not that easy. Things change over time. Relationships don’t always last. And you know how we are. If we were together we’d probably fight like cats and dogs.”

“My parents argue all the time, but they work things out. They’re still together after forty years,” she countered. “At least if we fight, we know we’re capable of great make up sex.”

His chest vibrated as he quietly chuckled. “There is that. Our parts do seem to fit together pretty nicely.”

“You make your own choices. You aren’t your father, Dean.” She sniffed back a tear. “Plus, you’ve been through SEAL training. Dealing with me ought to be a cake walk after that.”

“True.” He pulled her back. “Would you even want to start seeing me if I take Butch up on his offer?”

Mia refused to dignify his ridiculous question with an answer. Instead, she pulled herself up on her tip toes and placed her mouth on his as she slipped her hands under his shirt and wound her arms around his waist. Gentle at first, their kiss grew hotter, deeper. The tips of her fingers outlined the long sinews of his back and the rising slope of his ass. He was all male, powerful but tender, and thoroughly delicious. If she had a thousand nights with him, their time together wouldn’t be enough to satisfy her need for him.

With hasty, awkward movements, they tore at each other’s clothes, desperate for the feel of skin against skin. When they finally stood naked before one another, Mia allowed herself a good long look at Dean’s powerfully built body. Muscles bulged and rippled over every six feet of him. He was her own Captain Freakin’ America.

A sense of pride in this man had her heart soaring. She couldn’t imagine a better or more capable man to serve and protect the United States.

“You’re staring. It’s not polite to stare,” he teased. “And I think there’s a little drool at the corner of your mouth.”

“I’m just wondering how we ever got that big head and ego of yours through the front door.”

“Come on,” Dean said taking her hand. “Let’s take this upstairs. The night is young, and I think your bras are still tied to the bed post. You game?”

Mia rolled her eyes. “As if you have to ask.”

Chapter Seven

A loud series of annoying beeps jolted Dagger out of a deep sleep. “Damn it! Where’s my pager?” He fumbled for the light on the bedside table, knocking knick knacks onto the hardwood floor with amazingly loud clinks and thunks. Finally locating the lamp’s knob, Dagger turned on the light, casting Mia’s bedroom in bright light.