Daisy and the Trouble with Zoos (13 page)

In the end we did find our car, but it wasn't somewhere over somewhere, it was somewhere over somewhere totally else.

Mum said that next time she parked a car at the zoo, she was going to ask a giraffe to stand beside it.

And just to make extra sure, she was going to ask the giraffe to wave a big flag.

On the way home Dylan and Gabby wanted to do animal noises again. Gabby said she'd found out what sound a sea lion made, and Dylan said he'd learned how to do a macaw.

But I said I didn't want to play. I said I just wanted to go home.

Gabby said, “Let's sing Nelly the Elephant again”, but I said I didn't want to do that either.

Mum said I must be coming down with something, and she'd “dose me up” when we got home.

I said I didn't want any medicine and I just really really needed to get home.

We were NEARLY almost totally home too, when it happened.

“Mu-uuuum,” I said, just as we'd turned off the roundabout near our house. “Do you think we could stop off at the shops?”

“What for, Daisy?” said Mum. “You've already had lemonade and sweets today.”

So I said, “I need to buy a bag of frozen peas.”

Now the
trouble with saying “I need to buy a bag of frozen peas” when your mum knows you really really don't like peas
is that your mum will get very suspicious.

“What on earth do you want with a bag of frozen peas!!?” asked Mum.

“I need it to keep my baby penguin cold,” said me.

The
trouble with mums putting their foot down on a car brake really hard
is it makes everyone shoot forward really fast and it makes you think you're going to crash.

Luckily we all had our seatbelts on, but it was still really really scary and our tyres did the really realliest loudest screech ever.

That's when I opened my duffle coat.

“I've called him Findus,” I said.

The
trouble with having a baby penguin under your duffel coat
is, well, lots of things really.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A PENGUIN UNDER YOUR DUFFEL COAT!” screamed Mum, staring down at my lap with her mouth really really wide open.

“I've adopted him,” I said.

“ADOPTED HIM!” squealed Mum. “YOU CAN'T ADOPT AN ANIMAL FROM THE ZOO!”

“Everyone else has,” I said.

Then Gabby and Dylan undid their seatbelts really quickly and dived over my shoulders to have a look.

“WOW!” said Gabby.

“COOL!” said Dylan. “Oh my God, we're going to prison,” said my mum. “We've kidnapped a penguin and WE'RE GOING TO PRISON!”

“Can I stroke him?” said Gabby.

“Can I stroke him next?” said Dylan.

“When did you kidnap a penguin?”
said Mum. “HOW did you kidnap a penguin?”

“When Tiffany was getting the bucket out with the net,” I said. “All the mummy and daddy penguins were zooming after the net and they'd left the baby one all alone. Tiffany wasn't looking after him, and the mummy and daddy penguins weren't looking after him, so I decided I would. And anyway, I haven't kidnapped him, I've adopted him.”

“DAISY, DAISY, DAISY!” said Mum. “When people adopt animals at the zoo, they don't take them home
with them! They just give the zoo some money to help look after them. Looking after animals is a very expensive business and adopting an animal is just a kind and helpful way of making sure all the zoo animals are well cared for.

“NO ONE TAKES ADOPTED ANIMALS HOME!”

“Christopher Dowsett is adopted,” I said. “And he lives at home.”

“Christopher Dowsett isn't a zoo animal, Daisy,” said Mum. “He's one of your friends at school!”

“He's still adopted,” I said.

“Yes, Daisy,” said Mum. “Christopher
is still adopted, but when zoos say ‘adopt an animal', they don't mean adopt an animal like they mean adopt a Christopher Dowsett! They mean a different kind of adopted.”

“Then they shouldn't say ‘adopt an animal',” I said.

“They should say ‘pay for an animal' instead.

“Or ‘buy food for an animal'.”

“And straw,” said Gabby.

“And heat pads,” said Dylan.

“Well, whatever they should say, we're taking him STRAIGHT BACK!” said Mum.

The
trouble with penguin beaks
is they can't speak.

If Findus could have talked, he would definitely have told Mum that he really really didn't want to go back to the zoo and he much preferred being with me.

“But he's all fluffy, and he's all snuggled up and his wings are all flat and nice to stroke, which means he really likes me!” I said.

“Can I have a feel?” said Gabby.

“Can I have a stroke?” said Dylan.

“I don't care how fluffy and nice he is,” growled Mum. “He's going back to the zoo!”

I tried everything to stop her.

I promised I'd look after him.

I promised I'd put him in my front basket and take him for rides on my new bike.

I promised I'd get a job to pay for his fish.

I promised I'd let him sleep with me. And have baths with me, in water that wasn't too hot.