Daisy and the Trouble with Zoos (2 page)

Or do joined up.

In the end we all agreed it would be easier if I didn't EVER get over–over-excited in zoos again. That way, what happened today will never happen again.

Plus none of my birthdays will ever get cancelled and we can all grow up in ones on our birthdays, instead of halves and quarters.

Plus no one will have to worry about blowing out more than their fair share of candles.

Or getting too many pink ones.

Gabby says just to make sure I don't get over–over-excited again, it might be better if I didn't ever go to the zoo again. EVER EVER!

Gabby said maybe we should just go swimming or something on my next birthday.

But I said no way.

Swimming pools aren't anywhere near as good as zoos. Even swimming pools with slides and wave machines and hot chocolates.

And anyway. What happened today WASN'T MY FAULT!

IT WAS THE ZOO'S FAULT!

Do you always wake up early on your birthday? I do. Especially when I've got presents to open AND a special birthday treat with an extra-special secret surprise to find out about too!

The
trouble with special birthday treats
with an extra-special secret surprise
is they make you wake up even earlier than early.

I'm not sure exactly what time it was when I woke my mum up the first time this morning. But by the third time it was 2:27.

It felt much much later than that to me. In fact it felt just like the afternoon at 2:27 this morning to me!

And at 2:49, 3:17, 3:25 and 3:33!

By 3:34 Mum's voice had gone all growly. I couldn't see her because it was too dark in the bedroom, but I recognized her growly voice.

She always does growly voices when she's grumpy.

That's the
trouble with mums at 3:34 in the morning
: they just don't care about other people's birthdays.

Mum said she did care about my birthday, but 3:34 wasn't the morning, it was the middle of the night and I should go back to bed, get under my covers, close my eyes, fall asleep and come and wake her at eight o'clock.

“Or else.”

I said or else what?

She said or else I wouldn't get any birthday presents in the morning at all. I said maybe the clock in her bedroom was wrong.

She said the clock in her bedroom was never wrong. It was digital. She said digital clocks are never wrong. Especially at 3:34 in the morning. I said it was afternoon in Australia.

She said we don't live in Australia.

I said I wished we did.

She said sometimes she wished I did too.

I said, “Can't I open just one of my presents?”

She said if I didn't go back to bed RIGHT NOW, I wouldn't get any presents OR my special birthday treat OR my extra-special secret birthday surprise EITHER!

So I went back to bed.

The
trouble with going back to bed when you don't want to
is your eyelids won't close.

Well, they will close, but they won't stay closed. That's because eyelids are one of the most excited
bits of your body.

I closed mine about a trillion times, but every time I thought of my presents, or wondered what my secret birthday special surprise was, they just kept pinging open again.

I even tried holding them down with my fingers, but that didn't work either. That's the
trouble with holding eyelids down with your fingers.
If your eyelids are too excited, you have to let go.

The
trouble with letting go of your eyelids when they are too excited
is your eyeballs start getting excited next.

Then your head. And then your whole body. Including your pyjamas.

If Mum had let me open just one of my presents, then I would probably have been all right. I would probably have gone straight back to sleep. My eyeballs wouldn't have got excited, my eyelids
wouldn't have kept pinging open, and my whole body wouldn't have been so wriggly.

But she didn't. And they did.

That's the
trouble with not being allowed to open just ONE present
: the only thing you CAN open IS your eyes.

I didn't go to sleep at all after that.

When my mum woke me up, it was half-past eight!

“Happy birthday, Daisy!” she said. “Wake up, Sleepy Head! It's half-past eight!!”

I told her I hadn't been asleep AT ALL, ALL NIGHT, and that it was HER FAULT because she should have let me open just ONE present.

Mum said not to worry because now I could open ALL my presents …!

ONCE I'd opened ALL my birthday cards.

The
trouble with being made to open your birthday cards before you've opened your presents
is birthday cards aren't anywhere near as good as presents.

Mum says that cards are important because they have birthday messages in and they tell you who the presents are from.

I got a Shaker Maker painting set from my Auntie Sue and Uncle Clive.

I got a SlippySlidy water slide that
you can squirt washing-up liquid on from my nanny and grampy, except our garden doesn't slope very much, so it won't be very slidy. It should still be quite slippy though.

Mrs Pike, my neighbour, bought me a big book on cats.