Dakota Home (14 page)

“I'm sorry…” she whispered, still sobbing.

He kissed her because it was the only thing he could think to do, and knew almost instantly that this was a mistake. The kissing led him in directions he'd planned to avoid. He tried to stop, he really did, but then she was kissing him and he could refuse Maddy nothing. Her response to his gentle lovemaking was warm and encouraging. She ran her fingers through his hair as he peeled open her shirt and sought her breasts. Her soft sighs of pleasure melted all lingering resistance, all worry and self-consciousness. When he could bear no more, he moved over her, forgetting that he'd once thought it was impossible. He hesitated and found Maddy smiling up at him, her eyes radiant with love.

“You aren't going to stop now, are you?”

He kissed her as he sank slowly into her warmth, linking their bodies, linking their hearts.

They clung to one another for a long time afterward, content to do nothing more than lie in each other's arms. Finally he started to move off her, certain his weight was too much for her slight build.

“Stay,” she insisted.

He shifted to one side, which satisfied Maddy and assured him he wasn't hurting her. She nuzzled his neck, spreading a series of soft kisses across his jaw.

He felt sated, complete…happy, for the first time since the accident. He supposed he was playing a fool's game believing they could sleep side by side without making love. They'd been taking a risk, chancing pregnancy. Neither had mentioned it, but the subject was there and they'd both chosen to ignore it. Jeb wasn't going to bring it up. Not now. He pushed all thoughts of potential consequences from his mind, deciding not to borrow trouble.

“You make me forget everything bad that's ever happened,” he told her, running his splayed fingers through her hair, loving its feel and texture.

“Can you tell me about the accident?” she asked, her gaze holding his.

He didn't want to relive those horrifying hours when he'd lain in the field, in an agony so brutal the memory was enough to chill his blood.

“If you can't…”

“No.” She had a right to know. Not once had he talked about the accident, not even with his family. Although they'd managed to piece together the events of that day, Jeb had refused to answer any questions or discuss any of the details. He'd lived through it once and that was enough. But for Maddy, because she'd asked, he was willing to describe what had happened. He did, sparing himself nothing.

When he'd finished, her cheeks were moist, her kisses salty with tears. He held her, and the trembling in her grew more pronounced.

“I came to Buffalo Valley for more reasons than you know,” she whispered, her voice faltering as she spoke. “You remember I worked with social services for the state of Georgia? Well, I supervised at-risk families. Earlier this year I…I made a decision—a very difficult one. I misjudged a situation and, as a result, a teenage girl lost her life.”

Jeb had trouble believing what she'd said. Frowning, he raised his head to study her. The agony in her eyes told him it was true.

“I…loved my job. I loved helping people find a new path in their lives,” she explained. “But some of my clients were so firmly caught in their groove of helplessness that nothing could blast them out.”

“I know.” They lay side by side now, facing each other. It was difficult to listen to Maddy's pain but he knew he owed her that.

“One of my referrals was a mother with three daughters—by two different men. The oldest was thirteen…. Her name was Julie and she was bright and pretty and she loved her younger sisters. They were twins…” Maddy paused for a moment to take a deep breath.

“Julie was more of a mother to them than their own mother was.”

“How old were they?”

“Six. But they weren't in school, and Julie only attended classes sporadically. The school referred the case to the state, and I was assigned to check out the situation.” She paused again and bit her lower lip. “Jeb, they lived in worse squalor than I'd ever seen.”

He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers, wishing there was some way he could have protected her from this pain.

“You and I couldn't have tolerated it. Julie's mother, Karen, was living with a man—not the twins' father, a different man. He abused her, although both Julie and her mother denied it. Karen drank heavily and she was a heroin addict. Her live-in boyfriend supplied both—the alcohol and the drugs.” She paused and took a couple of moments to compose herself before she continued. “I evaluated the situation and decided it would be best to put the three girls in a foster home.”

Jeb brushed the hair from her face.

“Julie begged me not to do it. I couldn't find a home that would take all three girls and it meant the twins would be without her for the first time in their lives.”

“And Julie was the only mother they'd ever known.”

“Yes.” She nodded. “They loved her…needed her.”

He was silent, afraid of what she had to say next.

“I talked with Julie, her mother and the twins, and explained that we all needed to work together. I decided that if Julie could get the twins and herself to school every day, I'd keep them in the family home. My supervisor advised me against it, but…but she said she'd leave the decision to me.” Her sobs came in earnest then, huge racking cries from deep in her chest. “He killed her, Jeb. The son of a bitch killed Julie and her mother in a drunken rage. That sweet little girl. The only thing Julie ever wanted was a home with her sisters. She didn't deserve to die like that…Dear God, Jeb…I saw what that bastard did to her…I saw.”

Jeb held her while she wept.

“It wasn't your fault.” He was sure countless people had told her that, but it didn't matter how many times she heard it if she didn't believe it herself.

“Booster Douglas is the one who beat her to death, and he'll spend the rest of his life behind bars. Even though I made the wrong decision, I know I can't accept responsibility for what happened to Julie, but it broke my confidence…and my heart. A week after the trial, I resigned from my job.”

He held her close and kissed her, wanting to comfort her and feeling wholly inadequate.

“The reason I told you about Julie is because…” She sniffled and wiped the tears from her face. “I want you to know we all have scars. It's just that some are more visible than others.”

Soon after relaying her story, Maddy fell asleep in his arms. Jeb continued to hold her, refusing to allow himself the luxury of sleep. Maddy Washburn was not only beautiful and giving, she was wise, too. And she understood him in a way no one else ever had.

 

Maddy woke with a feeling of dread, knowing she no longer had an excuse to stay at Jeb's ranch. The time had come to return to the real world. Jeb seemed to have reached the same conclusion, and after three days and nights of intimacy, they now behaved like polite strangers.

Maddy dressed in her own clothes, which had long since been washed and dried. When she joined Jeb in the kitchen, he was dressed, as well, and had brewed a pot of coffee.

“I've got a towing bar,” he told her. He explained how he'd get her vehicle out of the ditch.

“I'll come with you,” she said.

“That's up to you,” he said matter-of-factly.

Maddy followed him outside. They barely said a word as Jeb drove out over the drifting snow. She marveled at his ability to read the landscape and gauge where the road was. Her truck was still where she'd abandoned it, its front end in the ditch. The vehicle was precariously balanced, back end pointed toward the road. What surprised Maddy most was how close she'd been to Jeb's ranch. So close, and yet she might as well have been a world away.

It didn't take him long to hitch the towing cable to her bumper, and he managed it easily by himself. In fact, she seemed to be more of a hindrance than a help. Once the cable had been secured, Jeb drove back to the ranch, following his own tire tracks.

There, Jeb filled her tank with gasoline, then warmed up the engine and eventually got it started. Because her vehicle had been exposed to the elements for three days, he checked the oil and the engine for damage. Luckily everything seemed to be in tolerable working condition.

“I'll escort you into town,” he insisted. “All you have to do is stay close to me. Keep your tires in my tracks, understand?”

She did, forever grateful that he was willing to go through so much trouble for her. What was normally a fifty-minute drive took nearly three times that. When they finally entered Buffalo Valley, Maddy felt a sense of coming home and at the same time a sense of loss. Her three-day interval with Jeb had been something she'd treasure all her life, but it was over now. As for a future with Jeb…she didn't know.

Jeb pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store, and she did the same. The instant her vehicle appeared, Bert and Larry Loomis were out the front door, cheering her return.

“We kept the store open for you,” Larry proudly announced, although she already knew that.

Bert was right behind his brother. “Wait till you see how much we sold!”

“Wonderful,” she said, beaming a smile at them. “You can tell me all about it in just a minute.” She left them and walked over to where Jeb had parked. He rolled down his window. “Thank you,” she said, and pressed her gloved hand over his. His eyes were telling Maddy he didn't want her to leave, telling her he was going to miss her. She didn't need words to know what was in his heart; the look on his face was a reflection of her own feelings. “Call me,” she said.

He nodded briskly.

“I'll see you next week?”

Again he nodded, then started out of the parking lot. Maddy walked beside his slow-moving truck, wishing she could think of some reason to ask him to stay. She hated that he was leaving, already missing him.

“Miss Washburn. Miss Washburn!” Bert and Larry demanded her attention. She began walking toward the store, but glanced over her shoulder at the retreating truck one last time.

To her astonishment the store shelves were nearly bare. “My!” she exclaimed. “You boys did an incredible job.”

The twins' smiles stretched across their faces and they gave each other a high-five. Maddy smiled as she removed her coat; it was barely off when her phone started ringing. The first call was from Lindsay.

“Maddy, I was worried sick about you!”

“I was fine after Jeb found me. He saved my life.”

“Didn't I warn you about the winters here? Didn't I?”

Lindsay's frantic voice heightened Maddy's guilt. She'd spoken to Lindsay once, but only briefly. She should have phoned again; she hadn't because she didn't want the intrusion of the outside world.

“You might have answered the phone,” Lindsay accused.

“It was out part of the time.”

“You were with Jeb the whole three days?”

“Yes…I would've frozen to death if he hadn't found me.”

“Oh, Maddy, I can't believe you were out on those roads by yourself.”

“Trust me, I learned my lesson.”

“But you're all right now?”

“I'm fine. Only I just got back here and I have a million things to do. I'll give you a call later, all right?”

“Promise? I'm dying to hear how you and Jeb got along.”

Close though they were, Maddy didn't know if she could tell Lindsay what had happened. Later perhaps, when she'd sorted everything out, had a chance to think about it. After the intensity of the past few days, this separation from Jeb was probably best for them both. It provided an opportunity to put their relationship in perspective. Everything had happened so quickly….

For her own part, Maddy was confident of her feelings. She'd been attracted to Jeb from the first, but after their days together during the storm, she burned with love for him. She'd been waiting a very long time to meet a man like Jeb McKenna.

No more than ten minutes after she'd finished talking to Lindsay, Sarah Stern walked into the store. Their eyes met and Maddy felt as if the other woman could see straight through her. Flustered and embarrassed, Maddy looked away.

“Jeb drove you back into town?” Sarah asked immediately.

“Actually, he led me back.” She gestured toward the lot. “My truck's parked out front.”

“He didn't stay?”

“No…” Now that she thought about it, it did seem odd that Jeb would travel all this way and not stay in town long enough to see his family. Then again, it didn't. Maddy had been thrust back into the everyday life of Buffalo Valley, but he'd been able to avoid it. She envied him that.

“How
is
my brother?” Sarah asked.

Maddy made busy work shuffling items near the cash register. “Fine…very well.”

“You were without electricity?”

She nodded, feeling a twinge of guilt. Well, it was the truth, she reminded herself. Just not the
whole
truth.