Damaged But Not Broken (New Adult Rockers) (9 page)

“Don’t be sorry. You were amazing.
Seriously amazing, Paige. I can’t get over how great you did up there.”

She ducks her head embarrassed.
“You’re just saying that.”

“Honestly, I’m not. You killed it.
Your dad is going to make you a big star. He can do it you know.”

Kenny Lawson's worked with a lot of
local acts, but he also has a few really big names under his belt. I keep
hoping that Rust will become his next big act, but now I have a feeling it
might be Paige.

“It really means a lot to me that
you came. It was good knowing not everyone in the audience was a stranger.”

My mouth is dry and I swallow hard.
I can practically feel the heat radiating off Paige’s body, and my own body is
screaming to pull Paige towards me. Silence falls between us and as the seconds
tick by I know that Paige feels it, too.

She shifts uncomfortably, and
unconsciously trails her fingers across her chest. I remember that move from
when she was younger. She did it whenever she was feeling horny, I always could
tell when she wanted me.

“Christ, Paige, I’m dying here,” I
say, unable to hide the anguish.

Paige knows exactly what I mean.

“Blake, I’m so sorry,” she murmurs.
“I’m not trying to- I mean, I know you’re engaged.”

I drag my hand through my hair. “I
know, I know. I just can’t stop thinking about you.” I admit, smiling at her.

“Maybe we shouldn’t see each other
then,” she says, unsure. “You’re getting married, and I don’t feel right
messing up a relationship. I was hoping we could just be friends-’’ She trails
off because we both know what she means.

She was hoping we could just be
friends, but obviously we can’t. The attraction is too strong, the desire is
too much.

“I want to be your friend, Paige,
truly I do.” I say helplessly, “But I don’t think I can handle n
ot
seeing
you.”

“Oh my god, Blake, you’re getting
married,” she moans, her emotions getting the best of her. “How can we be
friends when we feel like this after a mere few hours together? I don’t even
understand how I can feel this way!”

This gets my attention. “What do
you mean you don’t understand?”

I must look hurt, because her face
softens.

“It’s just – I haven’t felt this
way with anyone since
you
,” she emphasizes, “I’ve never been able to
have a real relationship". I can hear the shame in her voice.

I’m suddenly overwhelmed by Paige’s
painful past.

“Paige,” I choke, wanting to take
her in my arms and never let her go.

“I can’t,” she says, looking back
up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. “I can’t do this, not when you’re
getting married, and I’m sure as hell not going to let you feel guilty because
you’re the only man I’ve ever loved-’’

Her hand flies to her mouth in
surprise, and her eyes widen with shock.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she
whispers. “It was out of line.”

I’m speechless.

“It was the truth, though, wasn’t
it?”

She can’t answer me.

“I have to go!” She hurries off
through the crowd, and I see her catch Ryan’s eye, who quickly grabs his beer
and goes after her.

“Paige!” I yell.

“Well, well. You two just looked
pretty friendly.” I hear a familiar female voice behind me.

I feel my stomach drop and I turn
around to see Savannah standing behind me, looking mercilessly glorious in her
dress and heels.

“Hey baby,” I say softly, leaning
in to kiss her on autopilot.

“Don’t ‘hey baby’ me ’’ she says
coldly. “You just looked awful close there with Paige Lawson.” Her eyes are
blazing and I know I am in deep shit.

Lie. I need to lie.

“I don’t know why it looked that
way,” I say coolly, acting like it’s no big deal. “I just said her music was
great.”

“Mmm-hmm, sure. And did you and her
set up another lunch date?” she mocks, her hands on her hips. I see Abby
standing behind her, eyeing me with obvious distaste.

“No, actually. We were saying that
it’s probably best that we don’t hang out anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You know, since you and I are
engaged. I figured you wouldn’t appreciate your fiancé hanging out with another
woman.”

“I wouldn’t,’’ she snapped, “but
what do you think I am? A jealous bitch?”

If the shoe fits…

I don’t answer right away and
Savannah gasps in anger. “I’m not jealous of
her
,” she scoffs, gesturing
in Paige’s direction. I notice that Paige is now nursing a drink as Ryan talks
to her.

Asshole.

I turn my attention back to
Savannah.

“You better get your priorities in
order, Blake Evans,” Savannah says, her voice cold as ice. “Any guy in this bar
would be damn lucky to have me.  And I will not have my fiancé chasing after
some old flame, or starting up some bull shit friendship.”

“Don’t go there, Savannah,” I warn,
my voice heated with anger. “I told you there was nothing going on and we
aren’t going to hang out.” I pause, because my blood is boiling, and I’m
furious because I do
care
about Paige, and I’m pissed that I can’t spend
time with her. “But I’m not apologizing for being friendly to someone I was
close to years ago!”

“Years ago,” Savannah spits, “I’m here
now!
”

Abby has now turned her back to us
and is pretending to scope out the rest of the club but I know she’s hanging on
our every word.

“And I’ll be damned if you’re going
to hang around with that blonde piece of trash,” Savannah continues.

Savannah has gone too far now. For
one, Paige is anything but trash, and Savannah looks like a streetwalker
tonight when compared to Paige’s simple dress.

“Are you finished now?” I ask,
gripping the table to control myself.

Savannah looks back at Paige who is
talking to Ryan, but keeps throwing glances our way. “It appears so,” she says,
gathering her purse. “Let’s go home.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you
right now,” I growl. “Go out and enjoy the rest of the night with Abby. I’m
going to get Ryan, and we’ll make our way home.”

Savannah puts her hands on her
hips. “I’m not leaving you alone here with her.”

At that precise moment, Kenny comes
walking up, his arm around Paige.

“Hey Blake, what did you think of
my girl?" He beams. "Great, right?”

I can feel Savannah stiffen next to
me.

“Yes, she was great, Kenny.” I
smile at Paige, who blushes, embarrassed.

“Oh, hi Savannah,” Kenny says, “I
didn’t see you there. Not sure if you’ve met my daughter, Paige.”

Savannah gives Paige a cold smile
that infuriates me.

“So nice to meet you,” she says
sourly, extending her hand.

I can see confusion cross Paige’s
face, and she bites the inside of her lip as if deciding what to do.

“Likewise,” Paige says evenly,
shaking Savannah’s hand.

Savannah doesn’t miss a beat,
noticing Paige’s equally cool greeting.

“Blake,” Savannah says, giving me
an obvious look that she wants us to leave together.

“See you in a bit,” I say, giving
Savannah a this-conversation-is-over look.

“Whatever,” she hisses, she turns
on her heel and stomps out of the bar with Abby in tow.

Kenny doesn’t notice anything, and
turns to Paige. “So do you want to come with me, honey or stay longer and hang
out?”

Paige studies me, and I can tell
something has changed.

“No, I’ll go with you.” She
decides.

“Paige!” I call as she starts to
walk away.

“Don’t,” she warns, her voice hard.
Her eyes are filled with hurt and confusion.

I want to follow her, to go after
her and explain things.

But I don’t.

Instead I watch her leave, feeling
like I’m losing her all over again.

SEVEN

Paige

Pain of Past

I ride back home with my father
after my set at the Clipper. My father doesn’t pick up on my mood and that is a
good thing. For the one-millionth time, I tell myself to get a grip.

I
knew
Blake was engaged to
be married; I knew he had a fiancé.

What I didn’t know was that his
fiancé was such a
bitch.

Bitch.

I hate that word, and yet it's the
only word to describe Savannah.

I had expected some beautiful
southern belle, someone deserving of Blake’s love and affection, and instead I
met a stuck-up, cunty, Nashville rich girl, whose sharpened claws were at the
ready.

It was obvious Savannah didn’t like
me and that doesn’t bother me one bit.

Feeling this way is so strange
because I've never found myself in this situation before. When you avoid people
like I do, you don’t find yourself in many awkward social situations, and I had
never really felt such jealousy over a guy before.

I rest my head against the slightly
cool window and sigh.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” my dad asks,
finally picking up on my mood.

“Nothing, Daddy. Just tired.”

The last thing I want to do is
rehash my uncomfortable conversation with Blake and the bizarre meeting of his
fiancé.

“You were great tonight, Paige. You
sang your heart out, no wonder you're tired. Everyone loved you and if you’re
up for it, I think I’ll have no problem booking you a few gigs a week.”

This news should thrill me –
everything was finally starting to happen in Nashville, but instead all I can
do is think about Blake running his hand through his hair, admitting that it's
killing him to be near me because of our mutual attraction.

“That’s great, Daddy. Really. Sorry
I’m not more excited. I just need to get some rest.”

“Of course you do. You rest up this
weekend and take it nice and easy. We’ll talk business on Monday.”

At least my dad has the decency to
give me the weekend to myself so I can mope around like those girls in the
movies, eating ice cream and staying in my pajamas all day.

We arrive home, and I say goodnight
to my father before heading down the hallway to my part of the house. I set my
guitar down, kick off my clothes and pull on an oversized t-shirt. I quickly
wash my face and brush my teeth.

Sometimes I like to read at night
but I’m just too beat and emotionally drained tonight.

Just as I’m climbing into bed and
getting ready to turn the light off on my nightstand, I hear a light tapping on
the French doors that lead out to the pool and patio.

Fear grips me, and I feel the hairs
on the back of my neck stand up. My heart begins to pound and I can’t move.

I hear the tapping again, and this
time it’s louder. Wildly, I look around my room and grab my phone because I
can’t think of anything else. I tip toe to the doors, and slowly slide the small
lever that opens the blinds inside the door. I can barely breathe and all I can
picture is Riff or Billy’s face, even though I know that’s impossible since
they are both still in jail.

I nearly fall to the floor in
relief when I see Blake standing outside my door, still dressed in the same
clothes he was wearing earlier. Once I realize it’s not an intruder, I feel a
flare of anger at Blake showing up unannounced.

I undo the three locks, two of
which my father had installed at my insistence when I arrived, and throw the
door open.

“What the hell are you doing here?”
I hiss.

Blake at least manages to look
embarrassed.

“Can I please come in?”

I want to strangle him, but instead
I move aside silently so he can enter.

He rakes his hand through his hair,
a sign of his internal turmoil. He really looks at me for the first time, and
his eyes widen as they travel higher and higher up my legs.

Self-consciously I realize that the
shirt barely covers my ass, and if I move just a bit, Blake might get a full
view of my hot pink panties.

“What?” I ask defensively, “I was
going to bed!”

Blake nods, swallowing hard.

“Let me ask you again, Blake. What
the hell are you doing here? What are we, fifteen again? You’re sneaking over
to my dad’s house late at night?”

This makes Blake grin a bit.

“I know, I know. But I had to see
you. I left my car at the bottom of the driveway and then jogged all the way up
here. I think I avoided a lot of the security cameras.”

He’s insane.

He starts pacing my room and then
looks over at me, his eyes filled with pain and confusion.

“I’m so sorry about earlier.”

“Which part?” I ask, my voice
harder than I intended.

Blake winces.

Really, that wasn’t fair on my
part. I was the one that admitted to having feelings; Blake had just hinted at
an attraction.

“Sorry. I was the one that admitted
my feelings for you,” I say, looking down at my hands.

“I’m sorry about Savannah,” he says
quickly, “She was out of line. And she gets very jealous. She knows that you
and I dated when we were younger.”

I realize that I can be honest here
or I can just smooth things over. I opt for honesty because I have nothing to
lose.

“I just don’t get it Blake. I know
that I don’t know her at all, but I just can’t picture the two of you-’’ I
trail off because I can’t bring myself to finish the sentence.

“I know we don’t seem like the
perfect pair,” he admits, “but I do love her, and we somehow make it work.”

What was I expecting him to say?
You’re
right, Paige. She’s not for me. I want you instead.

I’m a fool, standing in my bedroom
half-dressed with my high school sweetheart who I still have feelings for.

“You need to go, Blake.”

“I just got here.” He says quickly,
his voice desperate.

“I know,” I say with frustration,
“and I’m not sure why you’re here!”