Damned (27 page)

I feel my body attempt to heal itself again, causing another spark of pain as it shoves the bullet around inside me. I scream, squirming and crying. Jax reluctantly hands me over to Sam; Margy is now by her side and together they both take me into their arms. My head lolls to the side, the pain, it is too much.

“Open your eyes Jade.” Jax howls again.

“Jax, you have to go,” Sam shouts through the noise. “We got her.”

He strokes a hand over my cheek, then turns and joins in the rotten battle. It is then, I say a silent prayer for him and the rest of the crew, please god, don’t take them from me.
Margy clutches my arms and Sam holds my body upright as slowly they make their way towards the small room, set up with medical supplies. When we get inside, they lay me on the bed, forgetting the fight above and swinging into nurse mode. Margy tears off my shirt and Sam prepares gauzes and antibiotics.

“It’s deep Sam, too deep.”

“What does that mean?” I shriek.

“We have to get it out honey, or you will die of infection when your body tries to remove it itself.”

“I won’t die, I will heal myself. You know that.”

“That means if we don’t get it out soon, that bullet is going to heal in the bone.”

“What?”

They exchange looks. “For now, we will clean it up. We will consult with the Cap first.”

“Jax, is hurt too.” I sniff.

They exchange another glance. “He will be ok honey.”

“Margy, I will get some morphine into her. It will help the pain.”

I feel a sting in my arm minutes later as they inject me with pain relief. I sob and snivel as they wipe clean the area, what seems like hours pass when finally the door opens. Jax comes bounding in; he is untouched aside from his bloody arm and he looks normal again. He is breathless but aside from that; he hardly looks as though he has just defeated a hefty amount of pirates.

“Jax, is everybody ok?” Margy questions.

“Fine, no deaths. Not on my side anyway. The men are clearing up, how is she?”

I am squirming in pain; he steps beside me, wiping back my hair from my sweaty brow.

“It’s deep Cap, we don’t have much choice but to get it out. If we don’t hurry, it is going to heal into the bone.”

“What are you waiting for then?”

“It’s going to be more painful than you could ever imagine, we cannot numb her. We have nothing to do so. It is so cruel; we wanted to see if you approved.”

“What are the other choices?”

“It heals in her bone, and she lives in pain for the rest of her life, possibly looses the use of her arm.”

“Then get it out.”

“NO!” I scream, twisting and turning. “Please god no!”

Jax grasps my hands, leaning down to meet my eyes. “You can do this kid. Do you trust us?”

“Oh god please.”

“Get rum, lots of it. MOVE.” He commands and Sam hurries out.

She returns with four bottles. Margy pours one over my chest, and I scream, Jax clutches the other bottle, taking a whopping scull before holding it to my lips.

“Drink as much as you can, knock yourself out Jade.”

“I can’t!”

“You can!”

I swallow and swallow; the liquid scalds my lips, but it helps, the pain seems less now.

“We are ready Cap, hold her down.”

“PLEASE NO.”

He leans over me, pressing his body over half of mine. He puts his forehead against mine, looking directly at me.

“Don’t look at anything else but me, I got you mate.”

I am quivering; my body is in shock and I am petrified. I hear Sam say she is ready and then I feel it, the shattering pain as they sink a knife into my shoulder and begin digging around to dislodge the bullet that has already begun to infuse itself to my bone. I scream, so loudly I am sure I burst Jax’s ear drums. I cry and curse, begging for them to kill me. I tear at his arms, scratching and tearing at his skin. Then finally, I pass out. I am sure it is my body's way of saying it is too much, it takes me away from the pain; it saves me.

CHAPTER 14

I wake to the ship thrashing, side to side it rocks. I sit up. What is happening? Where am I? I run from the bed, distressed. I remember being shot, oh god, did that pirate capture me? I tear up onto the deck, Jax’s ship, I am on Jax’s ship. It is pouring down rain; my hair is drenched in mere seconds. The wind is howling, and the ship is being thrust about in the ocean.

I turn and run back downstairs, where is everybody? Oh god, has something happened to them? I tear into the dining room; the crew are all chatting frantically. Jax looks over at me and jumps to his feet. I rush over, falling into his arms. He is soaking wet too. He pulls me back and looks down at me, his green eyes search my face.

“Baby, hey…its ok.”

“I thought…I woke up alone and the storm. I…”

“Shhh, your safe. We are all ok.”

“God. Jax. He shot me.”

“I know darlin, I know.”

“Are you hurt?”

I pull back and glance at his arm; it is bandaged up. I instantly reach my hand out to heal him, but he shoves it back.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Your hurt.”

“It’s a graze, I will heal.”

“But…”

“No buts!”

I pout and he smiles down at me. “Stop that.”

“Is there a storm?”

“Yeah mate, its not too bad.”

“And the other pirate?”

He tenses. “We will talk of that later.”

“We got this Cap, go and put her back to bed.” Rusty says.

“Cheers mate, call me if it gets worse.”

“Aye.”

Jax takes my hand and leads me to my room; we cant go to his because that means we have to go on deck. He slides his wet shirt off and reaches for mine. I notice my arm is bandaged though I can
already guess it is healed. It doesn’t hurt a bit. I let Jax remove my shirt, then unbandage my arm. He gazes down at it and shakes his head.

“You are one lucky little girl being gifted. That would have left an awful scar.”

“I guess.”

He takes my chin in his hand and tilts my face up. “Its going to be ok.”

“I know.”

“I wont let him hurt you again.”

“Jax, what did he mean when he said…he was sick of the old girl and wanted a trade?”

Jax rubs his head then sighs. “Bella is on that ship.”

“What?”

“She left about six months ago.”

It makes sense then. Him saying he had been without sex for a while. “Why?”

“Leverage, anger, I don’t know. She betrayed me; that’s all I know.”

“Oh Jax…I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s for the best. She is a thorn in my side.”

His face actually looks hurt…I blink a few times and reality washes over me. Surely not? He doesn’t care for her still, does he?

“Jax…”

“Don’t, don’t ask how I feel about her mate. Not now.”

I nod, crushed.

“Hey, your my girl now.” He says gently.

“I..hope so.”

“I know so. I have a lot to go over with you Jade. We are holding a meeting tonight ok?”

“For what?”

“We have to…sort a lot out.”

“Like what?” I push.

“Mate, can we just enjoy this?”

I get a strong feeling I wont like this meeting. I close my eyes and follow silently as he steps into the shower. We hold each other for a long while, letting the water cascade over us.

“You scared the shit outta me back there.” He murmurs into my hair.

“Yeah ditto.”

“Sorry mate.”

“I thought he was going to kill you.”

“Shhh, I know.”

We enjoy the shower for a while longer, then get out and dress. Jax takes my hand and pulls me close. Why is he buttering me up? I know something is up.

“We should go.”

“Why do I have to go?”

“You need to hear it.”

“Why Jax.”

“Because you just do!” He snaps.

Without further argument, I follow Jax down the hall to the dining room. Most of the crew are there, I see Jack and smile, he gives me a weak smile back which tells me right away I will not like what is about to be said.

“Sit.” Jax orders, shoving my shoulder so I am forced down onto a nearby chair.

I glare at him, then take my seat without another word.

“As you all know, we are having more issues with Bill.”

“Who’s Bill?” I ask.

“The other pirate.” Jax snaps.

I put my hands up. “Just asking.”

“As I was saying, we are having more issues. What happened was a close call, we need to establish a plan and finish this once and for all. I can’t do that without my half of the map so we need to figure out how to get it.”

“Bella?” Rusty asks.

“I don’t trust her.”

“We are in the same boat as him, we can’t battle and sink him because he has what we want and visa versa. If that ship goes down, it’s lost to us.”

“A bargain perhaps?”

“No, it won’t work.” Jax murmurs.

“What about Jade?” A crew member says.

Jax shoots a glare at him. “She will not be involved in this.”

I blink. Wait, when did I come into this?

“He wants her, we all saw that. It could work Cap.”

“NO!” He roars. “She is leaving and will not be apart of this world.”

“I’m leaving? What?”

Jax sighs and rubs his head, then looks at me, his eyes full of regret. “Mate…after what happened, I organized a boat out for you. In two weeks, you will board it.”

“NO,” I cry “Jax why?”

“I can’t leave you on this ship, it’s too dangerous. Until this is sorted, you are leaving.”

“You can’t do this to me.”

“You don’t get a choice.”

“You said…we were together. How can you justify leaving me alone?”

“It’s safer Jade, I am not leaving you. I will visit each week, but until it’s sorted you could die. I won’t have it.”

“SO COULD YOU.” I am screaming now.

“It’s done Jade, you deal with it.”

“NO.”

He grinds his jaw and runs his hands through his hair. “Jade, this is not up for discussion. I am the Captain.”

“And I am your girlfriend. I won’t leave. I won’t, do you hear me?”

“You’re not my god damned girlfriend.” Jax screams. I blink and stand, backing up in agony.

“Come on sweetheart.” Jacks voice fills my ears, though I can hardly see him, my eyes are so blurry.

“Stay out of this, do you hear me. She leaves, end of story.” Jax hisses at him.

“Don’t Jax, just because you won’t love her, does not mean others can’t. She deserves the best; it is not my problem you can’t see how god damn incredible she is.”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I can’t see what a god damned beautiful girl she is, inside and out? You’re fuckin wrong Jack I can; I can also see how damned dangerous this life is for her while Bill is hanging around. I care enough to get her off this ship.”

“You will lose the best thing that ever happened to you, I just hope you know that!”

Jack leads me out and to my room, when we get in he sets me on the bed and pulls me into his arms.

“Hey hey, its ok.”

“He doesn’t want me here.”

“He thinks he is doing the right thing.”

“He is breaking my heart.”

“Jax… has never actually had to worry about anybody else Jade. He cares for you, a lot. I hate what he is doing, but I truly think that he thinks it is the right thing.”

“Thanks for sticking up for me Jack.”

“Always.”

“I love you, your my best friend Jack. I hope you know that.”

“And I love you  angel.”

“Thank you.”

“Get some sleep, you need it after the few days you have had.”

I nod. Jack kisses my head, and I watch him leave. I curl up onto my bed, desperately trying to keep my emotions in tact. An hour later, Jax enters. He looks nervous and hurt. When he drops to his knees in front of me, I gasp. Wow, really?

“I am sorry baby girl, please…forgive me.”

“You…if you don’t want this you need to say so instead of leading me on a pretending.” I whisper.

He takes my face in his hands. “I want you more than I have  ever wanted anything. You changed me. I am a pirate, and I know that doesn’t give me an excuse, but I have never had to do this before.”

“You were married.” I protest.

“To a woman who couldn’t give a shit how I treated her. She loved herself and nobody else. She spent most of her time on land; I paid for a house and that is how it was. I dropped backwards and forwards seeing her, occasionally she came out with me. I never had to work Jade, never. Not for any woman, anywhere. I got used to it. Then you came along and changed everything. I want to chase you; I want you here with me, I want you.”