Damned if I Don't (The Harker Trilogy Book 2) (6 page)

Fuck.
I can’t even clench my left fist like instinct is telling me to.

Embarrassment and shame makes me turn to the opening without saying more. I never thought that losing a body part would impact me so much, but it really is. I may try to brush it off, but it makes me feel like I’m a reflection on the outside of what I am on the inside.

Incomplete.

Purl howls as we start going down the steps. I should really get her out of the carrier and to a litter box, but I don’t trust our surroundings enough to let her out. They haven’t given me enough reason to believe that they mean us no harm. Plus, I don’t have a litter box. So much for being prepared.

When I reach the bottom, Gowan is waiting for me, holding the door open.

“She’s right ahead.”

The plush red carpet leads onto the floor. I blink, stepping into the light, my vampy sense going haywire.

There’s a lot of them here.
It was enough for me to sense them in the building’s garage, but now that I’m here, I want to crawl out of my skin at the realization of just how many they are. I don’t know if they’re malicious or not. They may all be on our side, but that means nothing. If anything, the failed attempt at trying to find a new Progenitor shows that we’re never safe, no matter how many good-intentioned vampires there are around us.

This dimly lit place, despite the fact that it’s just below a gym, feels like an upscale vampire headquarters. Somewhat like a mix between the vampire bar Twin Fangs, some ritzy lounge, and a NASA mission control room. There are no windows on this floor, but there’s still a sense of space. I spot a wet bar in one corner with self-serve blood on tap and red, velvet couches and chaise lounges tastefully arranged. One wall has a lineup of monitors showing various live streamed footage throughout the world, as well as a nerdy-looking vampire clacking away in the middle of it. He’s certainly not Hannah, but he draws my attention and I make a mental note. His glasses are so thick that they reflect the screens in front of him. His 70s porn star ‘stache twitches as he looks at them.

This vampire is surely a hacker of sorts, and I think about what Zhi said about being too vulnerable on the V-Boards. I glance at Carl as his jaw tightens. He’s watching this guy and is probably thinking the same thing.

We were never safe. They may be the good guys, but they have the power to see anything. Everything.

I’ve just walked into the vampire-equivalent of The Bat Cave. So who is our Bruce Wayne?

“How nice to see you Harker. Especially in light of recent circumstances.”

That voice.
Now it’s time for me to stop and wonder at the familiarity in that voice. Both Jude and Carl freeze at the sound as well, so it’s not just me. But holy shit. I shouldn’t be hearing that voice, not like this.

She’s dead. And the voice isn’t coming from a ghost.

A wave of familiarity washed over me as a cocoon-chair swivels around and an elegant, dark-skinned woman grins at me, taking delight in my shock. She gets up and walks towards me.

“
Esther
?” I manage. The last time I saw her, Anthony had ripped out her heart.

A shadow passes over her features. “No. Esther is my sister.
Was
my sister,” she corrects. “I’m Hannah.”

Now that she’s said “sister”, I notice the differences. I only knew Esther for a few hours, but she was more delicate than the creature standing in front of me. Hannah is taller than her sister, more athletically-inclined, and her hair style is markedly different as a sleek black waterfall cascades down her back.

The resemblance is eerily uncanny, and I remember Esther using that word when she first set eyes on Jude. Things start to click into place as her demure gaze falls on Jude. She gasps.

“
Ale
?”
she whispers breathlessly.

It takes me a second to realize that she called him by another name. And now I wish I’d never set foot here.

Jude

“
Ale?
” the Esther lookalike asks.

That name reverberates in the dark recesses of my brain, seeming to get louder as I dwell on it, echoing and building in strength. It seems strangely familiar, yet it sounds like a name meant for someone else.

Something awakens in me at the single word. Not just the name itself, but how she says it. I’ve heard that name before, from her specifically. Which is crazy because she sounds so much like Esther, if I was going to recall anything, I should have before.

It’s like the name “Ale” unlocked a part of my brain that was shut away. Nothing would have penetrated it.

Until now.

Immediately, I feel a headache strike me like a bolt of lightning, stemming from the scar on my forehead.

Hannah is watching with huge, wide eyes, like she’s seen a ghost.

I
am that ghost.

“I think you have the wrong guy.” It’s my only defense, and I say it weakly.

“No.” Esther—
Hannah
—shakes her head. “No. It
is
you.” She strides past Edie and places a hand on my cheek. “It is you.
Alejandro.
”

Alejandro.

That’s my name. Or was. There’s nothing else associated with it, no memory of who I was as Alejandro. But that was me from before my amnesia. Before waking up in a hospital with a feral hunger and no knowledge of who I was.

I’ve managed to build a life since then, yes, but there’s always been a hole in my identity. Anthony recognized me yesterday - hell, it looks like he could be my sire - but Edie promises that she only cares about who I am
now
.

I don’t know if that will hold up after this.

It looks like past and present are going to collide right here and I’m not prepared. I don’t
want
it to happen.

The other vampires are watching our exchange. Edie is standing in front of me, looking like she’s going to be sick, and not just from her missing arm. I don’t blame her. I feel sick myself.

Alejandro. Jude. Who the fuck am I?

“I thought you were dead,” Hannah whispers, her words intimate and echoing in my brain. She knew me well back then. Well enough to talk to me like this. “You
were
dead.”

She’s speaking to me like a lost lover.

“I’m still here,” I say dumbly. What else do you say to that?

“What happened to your face?” She brushes her finger against the scar on my forehead and I tense up.

“It’s always been there.”

“No it hasn’t.”

Behind Hannah, Edie averts her eyes. She looks devastated, as if the very fabric of her universe is being torn apart as Hannah looks at me with those startling eyes. I don’t ever want to see that expression on Edie’s face again.

I push past Hannah towards Edie and put my hand at the small of her back, meaning to act as a support in case she really does faint, but it’s more to assert my position at Edie’s side. Her entire body is unyielding though.

“We need your help.” My voice sounds stronger than I thought it would.

From this vantage point, I can see Carl’s and Dean’s reactions. Their jaws are dropped as they watch the proceedings. Carl no longer looks like the brooding teenager. He just looks shocked. Dean looks like Dean—messy, screwed up, and in way over his head.

Meanwhile, Hannah has her head cocked to the side as she regards us. Her expression isn’t sad or angry. It’s more curious now.

“Interesting.” She purses her lips. “The Harker and Alejandro…”

“It’s Jude,” I say, my tone harsher than I intended it to be.

“So, you’re not Ale?” she asks, skeptical. She crosses her arms and cocks her hip to the side as she raises an eyebrow. I get the feeling that I’ve been under that scrutiny before.

“I may have been, but…”

“That would explain where you’ve been for the past fifty years. I should have put two and two together a long time ago when Dean told me that a vampire named
Jude
popped out of nowhere. You’re very secretive, you know.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Better than these two here,” she says, gesturing to Edie and Carl, who burns with embarrassment. She sighs. “Well.” Her entire demeanor changes as she straightens up and all semblance of familiarity between us disappears. “I’m sure Dean brought you here for a good reason.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says sheepishly. Hannah gives him a cool look and he shrinks back into the shadows.

“We need answers,” Edie says, her voice strained. She’s keeping her eyes trained on a spot in front of her, not looking my way.

Hannah nods. “I’m sure you do.”

“And you know what happened last night?”

Hannah lets out a shuddering breath. “Esther died,” she says, “and with her, all our hopes for a new Progenitor.”

“Dean said something like that,” Carl says, his voice rough. “That Anthony is the Progenitor’s last surviving child.”

Hannah’s eyes flick to me, as if seeking a reaction. “Yes,” she says. “Let’s sit down. I know that there are probably many questions, and the Harker looks like she’s about to pass out.”

Edie does look like she’s on the very edge of consciousness. She’s trying to stand on her own two feet. She’s using me for support even though she’s fighting it.

“Gowan,” Hannah says, glancing back at the big man, “can you take that beast from Jude? I think the poor thing needs to go to the bathroom.”

Such an innocuous reason I have to keep myself from laughing.

“But Purl…” Edie starts.

“We’ll take care of her,” Gowan says gruffly.

The cat howls unhappily when he takes the carrier from my hand and Edie grimaces. “She’s important to me.”

“Gowan will take care of her,” Hannah says. “You have my word. We can’t have her running around though; you know how felines are around vampires.”

Edie’s jaw clenches. “That’s exactly why I have her.”

Hannah bursts into laughter at that, the last of her intensity leaving her.

Gowan frowns as he walks away with Purl, and while I’m sure that he’s not meant to do cat duty, I get the feeling that Purl is in good hands. Knowing that her cat is safe will put Edie in a better frame of mind for what happens next.

Which will put me in a better state too.

We’re connected like that.

“Well,” Hannah says. “Amy, can you take Dean’s bundle? I suspect she’ll want to stretch her legs before the night is out. I imagine the Harker will want to talk to her later.”

A vampire comes from out of the shadows to take Reiko from Dean’s shoulder. Amy doesn’t look any older than fifteen, but she hefts the other vampire like she’s a bundle of sticks. Dean sighs, looking relieved. I’m sure he was imagining what Reiko would do to him if she ever got free.

“Dean, follow her,” Hannah commands. “We are going to discuss things. Things you don’t need to be a part of.”

The other vampire’s eyes go wild. “But…”

“
Dean
.” she sighs. “I know you. We’re going to discuss things that I can’t trust you with. If you hear about them, you’re going tell your buddies, and…”

“I won’t,” he promises.

“They wouldn’t be here if you could keep your big mouth shut,” she says pointedly.

She kind of has a point there. Dean was never known to keep his mouth shut. This is also the first time that I realize he wasn’t meant to tell me about the Progenitor’s role in Anthony’s search.

Dean nods, turns away, and follows Amy.

“Loyal vampire,” Hannah tells us after he leaves, clucking her tongue, “but he’s afraid of his own shadow. He’d never do what’s right if his life was on the line, and that’s why I can’t trust him. Now, let’s go to my office where we can be alone.”

She hooks her arm through Edie’s, surprising both of us, and she leads the vampire hunter across the office. “This is what we call the Marrow,” she explains as she walks. “We’re a group of vampires who run counter to vampire society. There’s just under forty of us here, but we’re all over the world. We’re here to make sure that the Progenitor’s legacy is thriving and that there is no threat to the balance of the world.”

Right. None of this is making any fucking sense.

Hannah keeps talking, as if we should be able to follow what she’s saying. “We operate in secrecy to try to keep vampires under control. Much like yourself, Harker. You know, I’ve met a few of your ancestors. You’re the first who has been to this location though.”

“Oh,” Edie says dazedly.

“Why?” Carl asks, breaking into Hannah’s preamble. “Why are you guys hiding?”

“To protect the Progenitor,” Hannah answers. “No one needs to know that he exists—in fact, it’s for the Progenitor’s own good that they don’t, because the more vampires who know he truly exists, the bigger ideas they get to try to take that status for themselves.”

“And then you end up with someone like Anthony,” Edie states.

“Exactly.”

As we walk around the floor, I pay attention to every vampire there. Some are monitoring the internet to see if there’s any chatter about vampires, others are communicating in different languages to other sects of the Marrow across the world via cell phones and headsets.

Hannah leads us to a door that opens to an office of sorts, complete with a set of couches. Unlike the rest of the floor, this office has floor-to-ceiling windows, showing the sprawl of Houston just outside.

“This is my private office,” Hannah says. “Where we can talk about bigger things and people won’t be able to hear it. It’s sound-proofed, secure.”

Edie stiffens, as the vampire steers her to a red velvet chaise lounge. “You had better sit down,” she says.

I don’t want to sit down, but we do. Hannah is watching me the entire time as she sits, her eyes glittering. I know that once she starts speaking, she’s going to blast open the doors to my past and I don’t want to peek. I have the feeling that it’s not going to be all butterflies and flowers.

“Where to even start?” Hannah wonders aloud.

I’m wondering that myself.

“I guess with you,
Alejandro
,” Hannah says, turning to me, and her voice takes on a sultry cadence as she says the name. “Do you really not know who you are?”

I gulp and shake my head. “No. I don’t.”

She lets out a long breath. “Well, this will come as a shock to you then.”

I lick my lips. “What?” My heart pounds in my chest. “I already know that Anthony sired me.”

Please be it. Please let there be no more.

She lets out a guffaw. “Oh, not just that,” she says with a laugh. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“No.”

“Anthony didn’t just sire you. He’s your brother.”