Dance (6 page)

Making
Adam speechless was not an easy task. And yet, he was gaping at Jared in the
mirror, unable to think of a
come back
. He opened and
closed his mouth a few times before he finally said,

“OK.
Just...” he ran his hands through his hair, “be careful. And next time we go
out together, you better let me know when and with
who
you’re leaving. I need to know you got home safely.” Adam pointed a finger at
his reflexion in the mirror.

“Yes,
Dad,” Jared joked.

“Whatever,
asshole,” Adam muttered as he strode out the dressing room not bothering to
close the door behind him.

Chapter six

Jared

“Where the hell
are you?” Joy screeched as a greeting when Fenix called her.

“At
Queen Victoria,” Fenix replied vaguely, knowing it would irritate her.

“You’ve
been at Queen Victoria since yesterday morning?” her voice dropped down in a
quiet fury.

“Not exactly.”

“Fenix!”
He could imagine her
green eyes narrowing in frustration.

“My
phone died, I just found a charger and switched it back on. Sorry.”

“What
exactly are you sorry for? That you disappeared for two days without a word?
That you didn't come home last night and I had no idea where you were? That you
forgot about our plans to have
dinner ?
What exactly
are you sorry for, Fenix?
Because I almost called the police.
It’s not like you to drop off the face of the Earth, to not pick up your phone
or at least let me know you won't be able to make it to dinner!”

Shit.
He’d completely forgotten about dinner. They were supposed to watch a movie at
her place, have a quiet night in before all the
Poison
craziness encored.

“I’m
sorry, Joy. I really am. I should have called, but...” But the moment Mark had
invited him to
Lono’s
, he’d mentally dropped
everything else but the thought of Jared dancing pressed against him. Fenix
knew it wasn’t fair and he knew he’d be worried too if their roles were
reversed. “I have no excuse, I really am sorry.”

Joy
sighed loudly. Fenix knew she’d closed her vivid green eyes and her elfin
features were scrunched in a frown. He also knew he’d be forgiven.

“Just...
call me next time you bail on me, OK?”

“OK,”
Fenix said simply, meaning it. Joy was his best friend and she was looking out
for him, he knew that.

“So,
where have you been?” she asked, curiosity seeping in her calming voice.

Fenix
relayed the events of the day, and night, leaving out the more graphic details.
Joy inserted the occasional ‘Oh my god’ or ‘Are you serious?’ as Fenix spoke,
but didn't otherwise interrupt.

“So
he’s performing right now and I’m talking to you in the dressing room instead
of watching the show backstage. You realise the lengths I’ll go to prove how
sorry I am, right?” Fenix joked, finishing his story.

Joy
laughed,
all the anger and worry forgotten. That was
what Fenix loved most about her – she was easy-going and didn't hold any
grudges for long.

“When
are you coming back tonight? We can open a bottle of wine and you can tell me
all the juicy details that you left out.”

“Actually,
I’m not coming back. I’m spending the night at Jared’s place.”

Silence.

More
silence.

“Joy?”
Fenix looked at the phone screen to make sure the call was still connected.

“Yeah,
I’m here. I’m just... surprised. I was trying to remember the last time you
spent the whole night in a guy’s bed, let alone two nights in a row. He’s that
good, eh?”

“It’s
not like that. We’re going to dinner and to see a movie... first.” Joy laughed
when Fenix paused before ‘first’. “But yeah, he’s
that
good.”

They
talked and joked a little more, and Fenix promised to catch up with Joy
tomorrow evening before disconnecting the call. He was scrolling through his
other missed calls and unread texts, when he noticed his mom had tried to reach
him. Fenix dialled her number.

“Hi,
sweetheart!” his mom’s melodic voice rang in his ear. He smiled involuntarily.

“Hey, mom.
Sorry it took
me so long to get back to you.”

“It’s
OK, darling. It’s not anything
urgent,
I just wanted
to see how you’ve been. I know you’ll be very busy the next few weeks so I
wanted to catch you at a more convenient time.”

Fenix
was so lucky he had parents who knew the theatre business inside out, and understood
his life without him ever trying to explain. They talked for a long while,
Fenix sharing his excitement about Queen Victoria and
Poison
’s success. Evelyn listened thoughtfully, saying all the
right things, encouraging him to talk.

“I’m
so proud of you, honey,” she said, and Fenix was suddenly acutely aware how
much he missed his mom. They hadn’t seen each other in person ever since he’d
arrived in London over a year ago. Right now he desperately wanted to hug her.

“I
miss you, mom,” he said in Swedish. He was fluent in his mother’s native
tongue. Some things were easier to say in a language that connected him to his
mother in a more personal way.

“I
miss you, too, darling.” Her voice sounded thick, and Fenix felt guilty that
he’d probably made her cry, so he changed the subject.

“I
met someone,” he said abruptly.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.
I really like him.”

“Oh?”
Evelyn repeated.

“Are
you going to say anything else besides ‘oh’?”

“I
don’t know what to say. You’ve never told me of any of your relationships, Fenix.
So I’m wondering how to react so that I don't scare you off and you tell me
more.”

Fenix
laughed.

“There
was no one I wanted to talk about until now, mom. I haven’t been withholding
information,
there was just nothing to tell.”

“And
there is now?” she asked cautiously.

“Yeah.”

“OK...”
Evelyn laughed softly. “Do I have to take out my interrogation tools or are you
going to tell me voluntarily?”

“We
met... yesterday. And I know you’re going to tell me it’s stupid and nobody can
feel something for someone they’d just met, but I do and I wanted you to know
that,” Fenix rambled without pausing for a breath.

Evelyn
was silent for a long moment, and Fenix dreaded what he might hear next. His
parents had always been supportive of him – of his desire to follow in his
mother’s footsteps – even though they both knew how hard that life was – of his
career choices, of his sexuality. He knew his mom wasn’t going to laugh at his
naivety, but still... he wanted her to approve. He wanted her to like Jared
just as much as he did.

“I
wasn’t going to say any of that. Nothing you feel is stupid, sweetheart. What
goes on in our heads is not something we can predict or explain
,
it just is what it is. I know that from experience, and I
stopped looking for reasons a long time ago,” Evelyn said soberly.

Fenix
nodded even though his mother couldn't see him. After a pause she continued,
more cheerfully,

“So
tell me more about him.”

And
Fenix did. He told her all about Jared, leaving out the ‘juicy details’ as Joy
had called them. He knew his voice sounded giddy. He’d have been embarrassed
had it been someone else on the other side of the line. But his mom shared his
enthusiasm and even giggled a few times as he told her the story of the last
two days.

He
was just finishing his conversation with ‘Bye, mom, I love you too,’ in
Swedish, when Jared walked into their dressing room. He was wearing his stage
clothes –
not so much of a costume since his role didn't
require any elaborate costumes –
and he looked yummy. His eyes sparkled
with the post-show adrenalin, he was sweaty and breathless. Fenix disconnected
the call and stood up from the sofa. Jared devoured the distance between them
in a few long strides and kissed him.

“That
sounded very sexy. What language is it?” Jared said, separating their lips.

“Swedish,”
Fenix replied and smiled at Jared’s puzzled expression. “My mom is Swedish. She
moved to the States when she was eighteen to pursue her dancing career.”

“So
that’s where you got those cheekbones from!”

Fenix
laughed and kissed him again. Jared pulled abruptly and stared at Fenix in
disbelief.

“Oh my god!
I’m such a
fucking idiot! I just connected the dots!” He grabbed Fenix’s shoulders and
took a step back, looking at his face as if he was seeing him for the first time.
“Your mother is Evelyn Bergman!” It wasn’t a question. Fenix grinned.

“Yep.”

“Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“I
told you my name when we met. I don’t usually add, ‘Evelyn Bergman’s son’ after
it,” Fenix joked, but Jared kept staring at him, mouth agape. Was it that big
of a deal? Would that change anything between them? Fenix didn’t think it
should, but Jared was still staring. “Jared? You’re freaking me out. Quit
staring at me like that!”

That
seemed to shake Jared out of his stupor and he ran a hand along his face.

“Sorry.
It’s just... I’m a huge fan of your mother’s. She’s a prima ballerina, a
legend... What happened to her was so tragic...”

“Let’s
not do this now,” Fenix cut him off, a bit more forcefully than he intended. He
closed his eyes for a second. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll tell you everything
you want to know over dinner.”

Giotto’s was
not very busy when they arrived. There were many tables available, so Jared
requested a secluded table near the windows overlooking the garden. Once they
were seated, they ordered their drinks and food quickly, both of them starving.
Fenix hadn’t eaten anything since the late breakfast Jared had cooked for him,
and he supposed Jared was even hungrier, considering he’d performed earlier
that day. If anyone knew how much energy went into performing, it was Fenix.

The
waitress brought their drinks and lit the candles on their table, smiling
warmly and wishing them a pleasant night before she retreated.

“So
what do you want to know?” Fenix asked, sipping his freshly squeezed mango and
guava juice.

“I
want to know everything about you, Fen,” Jared said, pinning him with those
blue eyes that looked almost navy in the candle light. Fenix raised an eyebrow
at the nickname. Nobody had ever shortened his name like that before. He liked
it.

“There’s
not much to tell, really.”

“I
doubt that.”

Fenix
sighed.

“I
don’t like it when people realise that I’m Evelyn Bergman’s son,” he began,
looking away.

“Why?”

“Many reasons.
They either
expect me to be as good, which is impossible considering mom is one of the most
talented ballet dancers ever born, and I myself am not a ballet dancer. Or,
they expect me to want special treatment, throw her name around to get what I
want.” Fenix dared to look at Jared again and saw that he was watching him with
interest. Jared nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“I’ve
never used my mom’s connections. She knew I wanted to choose my own path and
never even offered. The only thing I ever accepted was her good friend Cathleen
O’Riley’s
representation. Cat is an incredible agent,
she understood what I wanted and never pushed me to use mom’s name to further
my career. She got me the lead in
Poison
,”
Fenix smiled at the memory. “She said, ‘
This
will be
the role of your life, darling. Trust me. This part in a small London theatre
will get you to Broadway faster than anything you will be offered in New York.’
I’m starting to think she was right.”

“Is
that what you want to do? Perform in a Broadway musical?” Jared asked.

“Yeah.
Who doesn’t?” Fenix
laughed nervously. Jared didn’t comment on his rhetorical question. He took a
sip of his drink and said,

“How
is your mom? It was horrible what happened to her.”

Seven
years ago Evelyn Bergman’s career had abruptly ended when she fell during a
show. She’d been hanging over the stage in an elaborate production when her
harness broke off and she fell down. She’d badly injured her spine and could
not perform anymore. Most days she couldn't even walk.

“She’s
good. She’s in a wheelchair most of the time. The doctors said three of her
vertebras were irreversibly injured and even surgery won't be able to fix them.
They suggested she keeps off her feet as much as possible, and since my mom is
not one to spend all day in bed, she’s moving around in a wheelchair. They may
have crushed her dancing career but they’ll never crush her spirit. My mom is
one strong woman.”