Dance Till you Drop (3 page)

‘No, no, Paige, you must centre your body! You cannot dip forward or back because that will unbalance Benji. You must move as one.'

I sighed. ‘Sorry.'

Benji had been trying to spin me for fifteen minutes. It was only a one-legged standing spin, too – not even fancy – he basically stayed on the same spot, spinning me round and round.

But surprise, surprise, I couldn't do it. I kept tipping onto him. Or I'd get off balance and pull him forward as I tried to get back my centre of gravity.

‘Try once more,' Fleur coaxed.

‘I'm dizzy,' I said, ‘and my back hurts. Benji's gripping too tight.'

Benji seemed surprised at that because he looked at me and then shifted his hands behind his back.

Great. Now he was upset at me, too. It wasn't even true. I just didn't want to keep spinning.

Fleur gave me a long look. ‘All right,' she said. ‘Let's have a short break. Then we'll try the spin again later. Okay?' She left the room, leaving me with Benji.

A huge silence fell around us, like that moment you watch someone forget the next step on stage.

‘I didn't mean …' I started to say.

‘I'm sorry,' he said at the same time.

‘No, it was me,' I said.

‘Are you okay from yesterday?' he asked.

Another silence.

‘You weren't really hurting me then,' I said quickly, before he could get in. ‘I just … I'm not very good, that spin … I'm a bit tired …'

‘Yeah, sleeping in class.' He laughed. ‘Pretty tired.'

‘You didn't have to look after me,' I said. My shoes felt too tight and I suddenly had to loosen the buckle. ‘But thank you.'

‘Cool,' Benji said.

Cool? What was cool? That he didn't mind looking after me? Or that it was fine to fall asleep in class? Which one? Why are boys so hard to understand?

Fleur came back in then and clapped her hands to get our attention. Like we needed an excuse to not look at each other! Lucky we
were all right dancing with each other because when it came to talking we didn't have a clue.

To give us a break from the lifts, Fleur made us practise our complete reverse turns (it basically means a fancy turn to change the direction you're going on the dance floor). She kept yelling: ‘Paige, your head is facing the wrong way!' or ‘Connect through the trunk, lean away at the chest' or ‘That promenade must be closer!'

By that stage, Benji and I were dancing so close I could smell his shampoo. It smelled like apples and was nothing like what I imagined a boy would use.

‘So have you two heard about the showcase?' Fleur asked before calling out, ‘Wrong foot, Paige!'

Benji shrugged slightly, which caused me to tip forward again and I banged my forehead against his ear.

‘Sorry!' I gasped.

I got no reply but swore I heard a little snicker.

Fleur meant the mid-year showcase coming up at Silver Shoes. Each class gave a preview of the current competition dance and some people could do duos or solos if they wanted to.

Ms McGlone had told us at ballet last night that they were recruiting for performers. I'd pushed it to the back of my mind. I didn't mind doing the group dances because I already knew them, but if Mum ever found out about it, she'd make me do something on my own. And I didn't want to. I didn't deserve to. Right now I couldn't bear the thought of any extra dance practice!

‘Well, I was thinking it might be nice if you two did a ballroom routine,' said Fleur. ‘A lot of people don't know you're taking
private ballroom lessons. It'll be a nice surprise for the other kids.'

My heart sank a little, and so did my shoulders, because Fleur yelled out, ‘Posture, Paige, watch your neck.'

I tried to flatten my back but only ended messing up the timing of my chassé.

Benji stopped dancing and stepped away from me. ‘I'm not doing ballroom at the showcase,' he said.

Fleur threw up her hands. ‘What do you mean?'

‘I'm a hip hop dancer,' said Benji. ‘I do hip hop. That's what I want to be known for. I'm doing
this
because Mum made me.'

Was Benji embarrassed that he was my ballroom partner? Did he hate dancing with me?

‘What are you talking about?' asked Fleur. ‘You enjoy the waltz, the tango, eh? The jive? I've taught you. You're a natural.'

‘I don't care!' said Benji. ‘No one listens. I don't want to do it!'

‘Benji –'

‘No!' shouted Benji.

Then he walked right out of the studio.

‘He's just having a moment,' Fleur told me.

‘May I go look for him?' I asked. ‘I should see if he's okay.'

‘Well, you can't waltz on your own,' said Fleur.

I stepped into the dark hallways of Silver Shoes. I felt bad. I was so worried and stressed out about my dancing that I hadn't really noticed Benji wasn't enjoying himself either.

I turned a corner and was just going past the costume room when I heard my name called out.

It was Mum.

‘Paigey, come in here, I've got your costume all ready.'

‘I can't, I'm looking for –'

‘Come on, sweetie, you'll love it!'

Mum was surrounded by every colour you could imagine. There was tulle, silk, sequins, velvet, lycra and chiffon packed into every corner of the costume room. In her hands was my waltz dress.

So you know how our waltz had a music-box theme? I think Mum was inspired by that fairytale ‘The Steadfast Tin Soldier', where the toy soldier falls in love with a paper ballerina. Except in our waltz, I was really upset at being stuck in the music box and Benji was the one who freed me.

For the costume, Mum had created an amazing fairy ballerina dress from that plain leotard she'd bought at Danceworks. She'd even added a tiny set of wings at the back. They were made out of scraps of chiffon and cotton wool, and decorated with tiny fake butterflies, rhinestones and dangling beads.

The leotard had green, gold and white sequinned beads over one shoulder, embroidered to look like wildflowers.

And the skirt! It was a big floating puff of yellow and white chiffon layers, some with a dash of the green sequinned beads.

It was
so
beautiful. I knew Mum had been working on it all weekend and yesterday. It was so nice of her. But it also meant another thing:

There was no way I could EVER pull out of the ballroom comp now.

‘You're going to look so pretty with this dress. You'll win the comp for sure. How's it going with Fleur? Did you and Benji work on the spin?'

‘Yes,' I said.

‘Good,' Mum said. ‘Come on, try it on. I want to see how it sits.'

‘We're in the middle of practice,' I said.

‘Oh really?' asked Mum. ‘Because I just saw Benji run past the door so I thought you were taking a break.'

Uh-oh. There was something in Mum's voice that told me she had something up her sleeve.

Something that I wouldn't like.

I changed into the dress and straightaway had the ‘costume effect'. That's where you immediately feel like you become the character you're dancing. I imagined my jewellery box with all the trinkets and love notes and old lipsticks around me.

Gosh it was a beautiful dress.

‘So, Paigey …' said Mum, adjusting some beads on the shoulder-work.

She was so close I could see the creases in her eyelids where the eyeshadow was rubbing off.

‘How come you didn't tell me that they're asking for dancers for the mid-year showcase?'

My mind blanked, like I really was a wind-up ballerina and the key had just run down.

‘I forgot,' I said.

‘You forgot?' said Mum.

‘I think so,' I said. ‘I've been so busy practising my audition for the masterclass that –'

‘Don't you think it would be nice if you did something?' asked Mum. ‘You want to get in quick, or the teachers will choose someone else. We can go tell Miss Caroline after class that you're interested.'

‘But I'm not,' I said, surprising even myself.

‘Pardon?' asked Mum. She stopped pinning and looked at me.

‘Well, I'm already doing the group dances and I don't really have time to be practising anything else. Plus, there are other girls who are better than me who should have the chance to do a solo. I know Ellie wants to …'

‘Nonsense!' said Mum. ‘You're one of the best dancers at Silver Shoes. Of course you should have an extra dance.'

‘I'm not really,' I said quietly.

‘That's enough, Paige,' said Mum. ‘You were born to dance. You're just like me when I was your age.'

‘I'm not you, though,' I said.

Mum pretended not to hear that. Instead, she started tugging at the gold layers in my skirt. ‘You and Benji should at least do some ballroom. Your Silver Shoes friends will want to see what you've been working on all year.'

‘What about what I want?' I said, even more quietly, because it was getting hard to speak.

I don't know if that was because of how tight Mum had taken my dress in or if it was because of the bubble in my throat. I felt exhausted even thinking about more dancing.

‘What did you just say?' said Mum, giving me another Mum look.

It looked like she was trying not to cry. I'm sure that was my imagination, but it did make me feel bad.

‘Nothing.'

‘Okay,' said Mum. ‘Well, the dress looks stunning, babe; I'll just fix up these skirts a bit.'

‘Thank you,' I said. Then we didn't say anything to each other while I got the costume off.

I left to go find Benji. But I had a yucky feeling, and all the magic of the dress had gone.

Benji was sitting outside on the old swing set, throwing bark at the bin.

‘Rubbish only,' I said, pointing at the sign.

He laughed. ‘Yeah, sorry for walking out,' he said. ‘I just don't want to do ballroom in the showcase.'

‘Are you embarrassed to dance with me?' I asked, sitting next to him. ‘I know sometimes I'm not very good.'

‘Nah, course not!' he said. ‘Why do you always say that?'

‘Well, when I compare myself to other girls, like Jasmine and Riley and Ellie, they're all so talented and they always win at competitions. I only ever get third, if anything.'

‘That's because you take too many classes,' Benji said. ‘If you focused on the styles you like the most, you'd probably get better at them.'

‘Isn't it good to be an all-rounder?' I asked. I picked up some bark and began to throw it.

‘Rubbish only,' said Benji, grinning.

‘I'll throw you in there,' I said, grinning back.

Benji stuck out his chest. ‘I do the lifts around here.'

‘Oh no, dancing!' I exclaimed. ‘That's what we're meant to be doing now.' I looked guiltily at the door, as if expecting Mum and Fleur to come charging out.

‘It's more fun to throw bark at a bin,' grumbled Benji.

‘Do you really hate ballroom that much?' I asked him.

He was quiet for a moment. ‘I don't hate it. It's just …' he threw another piece of bark. It landed right inside the bin.

‘Success!' he cried, throwing his arms up and almost falling off the swing. I giggled.

Benji settled himself back on the seat. ‘Dunno, if it was my choice to do ballroom, I think I'd enjoy it more. But Mum made me do it because she thought I needed something to balance the hip hop. Like I'll turn into a gangster or something.'

‘Why didn't you just say no?' I asked.

Benji snorted. ‘Look who's talking.'

‘I don't hate ballroom,' I protested, ‘but I feel like I
have
to do it, which makes it less … fun.'

‘That's exactly what I said, except more girly,' said Benji.

‘Well, I am a girl,' I said.

What a stupid thing to say! I picked up a whole handful of bark and threw it at the bin to cover up my embarrassment. All the little bits bounced off the edge.

‘Aw, come on,' said Benji. ‘You're a bad shot!'

‘So if you don't hate ballroom, are you embarrassed that people will find out you do it?' I asked.

‘Nah, it's not that,' said Benji. ‘I'm just sick of everything being ballroom, ballroom, ballroom. It's like, do this comp, learn tango, try the waltz, do the showcase. But no one actually asks me if I
want
to do it. No one seems to care that hip hop's my thing.' He shrugged. ‘What about you?'

‘I don't think I'm that good,' I said. ‘Because I'm rushed off from class to class,
I don't get the time to focus on one thing. I'm stuffed full of tap and ballet and jazz and ballroom and masterclasses and showcases. All this dance stuff pushes out sleep, school, relaxing and … my best friend.'

I really missed Ellie. And here I was talking to Benji, like I would usually talk to her. Benji was cool, but he was a boy, and I didn't feel comfortable around him like I did with Ellie.

‘Well, you know what we gotta do,' said Benji. ‘We gotta stick together. We gotta say no to the showcase. We gotta be a team!'

He held out his hand to me in a mock superhero shake and it was dumb, because although I was practically glued to him when we were dancing, I felt really embarrassed to shake his hand.

I did, though. Very quickly.

‘Hey,' he said, getting up off the swing. ‘I got this hip hop gig at the community festival on Sunday. Wanna come? Ash is in it, too.'

‘Oh,' I said, ‘I can't. I have that ballet masterclass.'

‘Your loss,' said Benji. ‘Come on, we better go back or Fleur will lose it.'

Great. Something else I'm missing out on. And all because of a ballet masterclass I don't even want to do.

Was there such a thing as too much dance?