Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken (39 page)

She stared at Kyle as if she expected him to respond, but he said nothing.

She sighed. “Don’t be mad. I love you, and I believe in our relationship, but the fact is that, while we are committed, we’re just not committed enough for me to be like
‘let me pack up my life over here, and bring it over here’
. I just feel like it’s more appropriate to wait until we make our commitment to one another more … permanent. I have to be in love, and engaged before I move in with a man. It’s my rule. We have the love, but …” She shrugged her shoulders.

We aren’t engaged to be married
, Kyle finished in his head.

Interesting …

“Kyle, would you please say something?”

Her subtle pout caused him to refocus his attention on her.

“I don’t want this to ruin our time up here,” she whined. “I know you’re upset, but it’s not like we’ll be living apart forever.” Her fingers slipped into his hair. “You believe in us, don’t you? That we’re strong, that with honesty and openness you and I will one day be able to … you know. Isn’t that something you want, too?”

“Marriage?”

“One day.” She smiled, leaning forward to gently kiss his lips. “I’m not afraid to say that I’d love to be your wife, and Sofia’s mother. Maybe we could even … I don’t know,” she shrugged her shoulder, her eyes lowering shyly, “have more.”

Kyle inhaled a deep breath. “Children?”

She bit her bottom lip, nodding her head. “Yes,” she whispered. “If that’s something we both want. Is that something you want? In the future of course.”

He didn’t know … Kyle could honestly say that he had no idea what the hell he wanted in regards to marriage and more children. He hadn’t really thought past the point of getting Reanna to love him back. He hadn’t even planned on expecting her to move in with him, he’d just said it because … well, he wanted it. He wanted her, and he wanted to share a life, a home, a family. He hadn’t been thinking about marriage, or more children, until now.

Unable to answer her question at the moment, Kyle chose to remain silent. No speaking with words for now. Instead, he focused on what he knew he wanted—her.

He kissed her.

Even as his thoughts continued to move a mile a minute, filling with new ideas, and possibilities involving the future of their relationship.

An extra day. He’d asked her to stay with him an extra day, and of course she’d enthusiastically said yes, because just like him, she’d never experienced days like the ones they were having—perfect, sweet, pure unadulterated bliss.

The talking was done. They’d both already said all they could to one another. They knew each other’s deepest demons, and most crippling fears. As they went throughout the day, Kyle studied Reanna’s body—how she liked to be touched, kissed, held; what made her feel safe with him, and what made her uncomfortable. They’d taken their time, gotten to know each other fully, and slipped effortlessly into their romantic relationship without a hitch. It was astounding to Kyle how easy it was with her … still a bit terrifying, but easy nonetheless. Back when he’d been with Aniyah, he’d thought that easy was being with someone he didn’t connect with, but being with Reanna changed his perspective on everything. On love, commitment, and true devotion to another person. Kyle was surprised to feel himself still falling. He thought he’d fallen the deepest he could, but he’d been wrong. Every single second of every passing minute with her, Kyle was falling in love. It was never ending, and the most freeing feeling to just let go, and allow himself to want her, to love her, to
be
hers …

Romance.

Kyle never thought himself the romantic type, but it seemed everything he did for her was, in her words, romantic. The trip to the cabin, spontaneous, and romantic; making love to her near the warmth of the fireplace, romantic; letting her teach him how to take decent pictures with her complicated camera,
wildly
romantic; and cooking for her, while he sang her a song in the Italian language, and twirled her around the kitchen floor was the ultimate act of romance.

It made Kyle immensely happy to see how often he could make her smile, and he hadn’t even been trying. Nothing felt forced with Reanna, nothing felt required. He had become so used to running away from his heart’s desire, and of forcing himself to be the type of man he thought he should be, that he’d been completely missing out on the incredible happiness which came along with being the man Reanna Pierce loved. She made everything … brighter, if that made any sense. Kyle couldn’t explain the way she made him feel, all he knew was that he couldn’t live without it, without her—not after finally getting a taste of what it’d be like to have her with him always.

That was why, by the evening, Kyle found himself here …

Reanna was napping, and he was awake, staring at a picture on his cell screen recently sent to him by his jeweler, and contemplating doing something that he never thought he’d do in his lifetime.

Sighing, he shook his head, feeling slightly panicked at his own thoughts.

She’ll say no
, he thought to himself.
She’ll say we’re moving too fast, or that I’m only doing this to control her, make her live with me
. When in truth, he just wanted to be more to her. She’d been right in the room—dating, being her boyfriend wasn’t enough for him. He desired so much more with her, and how dare she deny him of that. Was it not her fault for being so fucking amazing, so goddamn perfect? She’d stolen his heart without even asking him first, and to turn him down after doing something so damn selfish would be … well, selfish as fuck. Kyle wanted to be with her forever, he wanted all that shit she’d said earlier this morning, so she had to say yes … right?

God, he didn’t fucking know. She was so damn good at telling him no.

Grunting in frustration at himself, Kyle clicked off the picture, and scrolled through his contacts, quickly searching for the only man he knew who could help him through this, and answer his questions. Once he found his name, he pressed it, placed the phone to his ear, and sighed in relief when he finally answered the phone.

“Hello?”

Nathan’s light baritone hit Kyle’s ears just as the sweet sound of a laughing baby girl rang out right after.

It was amazing how quickly the memories of Sofia’s infancy rushed back to Kyle almost the exact second he heard little Natalia’s laughter and cooing. It intensified the separation anxiety which was already lurking behind the bliss of this little getaway, but he had to remain focused. Though he missed his little girl more than anything, Kyle wasn’t just on a vacation here, he was trying to take his and his daughter’s little two-person family to the next level … trying to land his baby girl a mother that he himself could have only dreamed of having in his life.

That was one of the big reasons why he was doing this. The other reasons were because he loved Reanna, because he could no longer picture his life without her in it, and because he didn’t want to be afraid of losing her anymore. He wanted to show her he was for real, that he believed in their love as much as she said she had, and—though he was indeed damaged—his love for her was something that he was sure about, and he didn’t need time to see how this romance worked out between them. He already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

That was why he’d called his brother, why he needed his council. He desperately needed an answer to a question which had been boggling his mind, one that would assure him he was making the right decision. Assure him he was ready for this.

So after Nathan answered the phone, told Kyle to hold for a moment while he took Natalia to Carter, and asked Kyle the questions he’d expected—why hadn’t he told him about his impromptu visit to Reanna, as well as his spontaneous trip—Kyle ignored the questions, not because he had anything to hide, or because he didn’t want to answer them, but because he had a one-track mind right now. He was a man on a mission. And he didn’t have much time before Reanna woke up and prohibited him of doing all that he wanted to do before tomorrow morning.

So without answering any of Nathan’s question, Kyle got straight to the point with his own.

“Nate,” he began softly, swallowing his nerves, and peeking behind him to make sure he was still alone. Once he saw he was, he finished, “When did you know that it was the right time to propose to Carterina?”

There was nothing better than waking up to a bright, beautiful morning on an insanely comfortable bed in a beautiful luxury cabin, after a mind-blowing night of passion, and realizing the day before had not been a dream. It had been real. As had the day before that, and the day before that, when the man of her dreams had confessed his love for her, finally, after two years of beating around the damn bush.

Not only had he confessed his love to her, but he’d been spending the last couple of days getting to know her. To
really
know her. And talking to him made her feel so … light, so safe, like the nightmares of her past could no longer get to her anymore.

Just days before, Reanna hadn’t felt like this. Deep down she had felt like a monster, a killer, a liar, a coward … But talking to Kyle, pouring her heart out to him had helped her achieve something years of therapy hadn’t—acceptance. She could accept that she’d made mistakes in the past; that she wasn’t perfect and she didn’t have to constantly punish herself for doing what she’d had to do to protect herself, and her sister. For so long she’d been afraid to admit the truth, to even speak the name of the man that scarred her and caused her so much pain, but there had been something about finally confessing what she’d done to someone who just … got it, someone who understood her, that freed her. Freed her from the prison she’d locked herself in for the past nine years, shattered the wall she’d put up to keep other’s out for fear that they’d learn her secret.

She didn’t have to be closed off anymore. She no longer had to run. She could finally, truly embrace happiness, and not just any happiness … a happiness which transcended any she’d ever felt in her life. And it was all because of one man. Her boyfriend, Kyle.

Her amazing boyfriend, who
more than
loved her. And she loved him, and they loved each other, and it was just a whole
flippin’
love fest of love and lovemaking and laughter and smiles and giggles and joy. And it was real! It was all real. And it was hers.

Never had she felt so … it was hard to describe. Kyle made her feel so important to him—irreplaceable, more valuable than anyone had ever made her feel. He’d vowed to her he’d never hurt her again, never fight against his feelings out of fear. Then he’d asked her to be his, to forgive him for all the time he’d wasted rejecting her, and Reanna did. She
adored
him. She felt like a new person, a new woman. Like her life had become so much … more all because she finally had him, the man of her dreams. And with him came love, a future, and a perfect little girl that Reanna loved as if she were her own. Life was perfect. Perfect enough to scare her, but too perfect to not enjoy despite that fear.

Even now, as she lay in her and Kyle’s extremely comfortable bed, staring at herself through the giant mirror above her, Reanna couldn’t help but smile. Kyle had already gotten out of bed, and she smelled something heavenly coming from the kitchen. Either there was a chef that traveled up the mountain to cook for them, or Kyle was just the most amazing man alive, and was cooking for her
again
.

No man had ever cooked for her before, no man had ever made her feel so … well, she didn’t know how to describe it anymore. They’d only been together for a couple of days and he’d already ruined her for other men, so if this didn’t work out, if something not so great happened between them and they didn’t make it to the altar, Reanna was screwed. She couldn’t be with any other man after this; she didn’t want to be. She wanted to be his forever. He was so sweet, and he didn’t even try to be. She never met a man who was this honest. He let her know that he wasn’t a
sap
—as he called it—and then he proceeded to whisk Reanna away to their own little private realm of pure, unadulterated romance. There he cooked for her, danced with her, sang to her, fed her the most delectable chocolates, bathed with her in a stunning hot tub which smelled of jasmine and sweet wild flowers, and made love to her more tenderly than any man ever had before.

Just thinking about the way that Kyle made love to her brought tears to her eyes. Not because she was a cry baby, but because every single time they made love, she could feel how much he loved her, how connected their souls had become. It overwhelmed her.

Wiping a stray tear from her eyes, Reanna hugged their plush comforter tightly, sighing exaggeratedly as she reveled in the magic of the castle they were staying in for one last day. A work day, and yes, she felt sort of bad for canceling everything she had to do for the day, but man, it was this place. It was so magical; so beautiful and bright.

Nature’s light was bursting through the bedroom, even through the hallways; it was lovely, so peaceful and perfect. Reanna hated that they were leaving tomorrow. Three days wasn’t enough time away from everything back home. If Sofi didn’t have school she’d have Kyle go get her and bring her up to the cabin with them, so the three of them could spend the rest of the week together.