Daniel's Gift (34 page)

* * *

Jenny put an arm around Merrilee's waist as they stood together next to Danny's bed. "If I could trade places with him, I would," Jenny said.

"You love him that much?"

"Yes. Just as you love your children."

"I do." Merrilee nodded. "1 sometimes get so caught up in scolding them I forget how much I love them, how much they mean to me and Richard."

"Speaking of Richard, is everything okay with you two?"

"No."

Jenny raised an eyebrow. "Wow. You really are different tonight. You'd never admit that to me otherwise."

"I don't know what to do, Jenny. He's slipping away."

"You have to fight for him like I'm fighting for Danny. These are the people we love, Merrilee. Look at your nephew. Look at how fragile life is. You can't stand by and let things drift away. They're too precious."

Merrilee glanced over at her and smiled. "You've changed, too."

"How could I not?" She paused. "I'm sorry I didn't come to the house. I just couldn't face Thanksgiving."

"That's okay. I understand." Merrilee paused. "I asked Dad to come here with me. He said no. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm not sure I'd know what to say to him if he did come."

"Funny, I think he's worried about the same thing. I wonder why it's so difficult to talk to the people we love."

Jenny shrugged. "Anyway, you're here. That helps." She cleared her throat. "By the way, Alan came to see me earlier. He thinks Matt was responsible for Danny's accident."

Merrilee sighed. "I wish he hadn't told you that."

"You knew?"

"Yes. Matt honestly doesn't remember a thing, Jenny. I don't know what to say. We both know he's a lousy drunk."

"He makes me so angry. I wish he'd believe in himself again. There's more to life than football."

"I never used to think so." Matt's voice drew their attention to the doorway. "Okay, if I come in?"

"Of course. I'm glad you came." Jenny took his hand and pulled him close. She would not think about Alan's suspicions. Matt was her brother, and she loved him. Right now family was more important than anything else.

"How are you, Jen-Jen?" Matt asked.

"I've had better days."

Matt looked at Danny and shook his head. "Jesus, he looks like shit."

Jenny smiled. "Trust you to put this all in perspective."

Matt turned to her. "I didn't do it, Jenny. I know I didn't. Brenda swears she drove us both to her place, and the only thing we hit was the brick wall in front of her house. I can't prove it. But in my heart, I know I couldn't have hurt Danny. I love this kid."

"I know you do."

Matt rubbed his hand across his eyes. Jenny wanted to comfort him, so she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. As she glanced up, she caught Merrilee watching them with something that looked like envy. After a moment's hesitation, Jenny stepped back and beckoned Merrilee into their circle.

The three of them stood together, holding each other. Jenny hadn't felt this close to her siblings in a long time. She looked past them to Danny and thought she saw a faint smile cross his lips.

"Happy Thanksgiving," she whispered.

* * *

"Dad," Danny whispered, tugging on Luke's sleeve. There was no response. Danny glanced over at the clock. It was after midnight, but he didn't care. He dug his fingers into Luke's arm. Luke moaned but didn't open his eyes. At his wit's end, Danny grabbed a strand of Luke's hair and yanked it out.

"Ow!" Luke blearily opened his eyes. "What's going on?"

"You're turning gray, Dad." Danny held up the strand of gray hair between his fingers.

Luke shook his head, obviously trying to wake up. Danny pulled the rocking chair over to the side of the bed and began to rock back and forth, faster and faster, until the chair threatened to collide with the dresser.

"Hey, watch out. You'll wake Denise." Luke glanced over his shoulder to be sure Denise was still sleeping. She was, her eyes covered with a mask of black velvet. He turned back to Danny. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you about something important."

"Danny, I don't know if you're real, or if I'm imagining you, but this is crazy. You're a ghost."

"No. I'm not a ghost." Danny tipped his head. "Actually, I'm not sure what I am. Jacob says I'm not an angel, because I'm not dead yet."

"No, you're not. You're lying in a hospital room." Luke shook his head. "I can't believe I'm talking to a hallucination. Do you visit your mother like this?"

Danny suddenly looked pained. "No. Jacob says it's not allowed. I want to though. I miss her. Will you tell her I miss her?"

"Of course. But she won't believe me. How could she? You're in a coma, Danny."

"Do you think I'll make it?"

"I don't know. Will you?" Luke sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I need a sleeping pill."

"Don't do that, Dad."

Luke hesitated at the tender word. "God, I wish I could really hear you say that."

"Do you?" Danny's eyes searched his face.

"Yes. I want us to be together. I want us to do all the father-son things we're supposed to do."

"Did you put up a basketball hoop yet?"

"This morning."

"Cool. What about baseball? Are you any good?"

Luke frowned. "I always had to play right field."

"Yeah, me, too." Danny smiled in commiseration. "And I strike out a lot. Mom gets so excited when I bat, she jumps up and down in the stands and yells her head off. The other parents think she's nuts. Sometimes, I get embarrassed, but she's kind of cool, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Luke said softly, feeling the same protectiveness toward Jenny that Danny felt.

"That's why I came tonight, in case you've forgotten. Next Friday, a week from tomorrow, is Mom's birthday. I didn't get her a gift."

"She won't be expecting a present, Danny. She just wants you to get well."

"I'm not sure I can."

"Don't say that."

Danny got up from the chair. "Michael and Jacob said I might be paralyzed or retarded even if I wake up. I don't think Mom could handle that."

"I would help her, Danny. We'd do whatever it took to get you well."

"You mean you'd stick around even if I was retarded?"

"Of course. I won't turn my back on you, Danny. That's a promise."

"How do I know you'll keep your promise?"

Luke looked him straight in the eyes. "You'll have to trust me."

Danny nodded. "You're okay, Dad."

"So are you."

"Now, here's what I want you to do," Danny said, and proceeded to tell Luke exactly what to buy Jenny for her birthday.

"That's it?" Luke asked.

"That's it." Danny started to fade away.

"Wait. I want to talk to you some more."

"Jacob says, time's up." On the last word, he vanished.

Luke blinked.

Suddenly Danny appeared again.

"One more thing," Danny said. "Mom broke up with Alan. I thought you might want to know."

Chapter Twenty-Three

The weekend after Thanksgiving passed quickly with an endless stream of visitors to Danny's hospital room. Jenny held court there, accepting flowers, stuffed animals, comic books, and compact discs. She read Danny stories and told him jokes. She sang to him. Sometimes Danny turned his head. Sometimes his hand jerked back when she pinched him. Other times, there was nothing.

The next week passed more slowly.

Merrilee came and went every day. Richard dropped by in the evenings. Alan checked in before he went on duty. Matt made an appearance at least every other day, and Jenny's friends Gracie and Pru stopped by whenever they could.

Danny's friend Christopher and his other buddies came by after school, solemn and serious. Jenny respected their courage, knowing that it was even more difficult for them to accept the fact that someone their own age could be so close to death. With Danny's accident, the boys had lost some of their innocence.

Christopher, of course, was riddled with guilt over his part in the adventure. Jenny tried to comfort him, to assure him that with or without his help, Danny would have found his way to his father's house. Her words made little difference. Only Danny's recovery would free Christopher from the weight of his guilt.

Seeing the boys and talking to them about school was difficult for Jenny. She had known some of the kids since they'd been born. They reminded her of Danny -- their mannerisms, their clothing, the words they used, the tenor of their voices, breaking between childhood and adolescence.

Then there was Luke. He rarely went home. At first, she felt awkward around him, but as time passed, she was grateful for his presence, for the opportunity he offered to escape for a few minutes. And Luke had the inside track with the doctors. He asked questions that didn't even occur to her, and he got answers.

Luke -- the man was working his way back into her life, and Jenny didn't know how to stop him. Worse, she didn't really want to stop him.

On Friday afternoon, two weeks after the accident, Jenny paused at the nurses' station and looked into Danny's room through the glass partition. Luke was sitting next to Danny's bed, talking to his son, touching Danny's hands, working his arms and legs with affectionate, loving gestures.

It touched her heart to see them together. Danny would be happy to have his father's undivided attention. She hoped to God that Danny could hear what Luke was saying. It would mean so much to her son.

As she watched the two of them together, she noted how tired Luke looked. His hair was messy, his suit wrinkled. His tie was pulled away at the neck, and he had unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt.

The sight of him in such a state brought with it a wave of tenderness. This was the man she had loved. The one who was human, not the one who was rich and powerful and smart as hell, but the one who could be vulnerable.

"He's been here for an hour," the nurse said.

Jenny glanced at her. "Really?"

"Yes. He's different from what I expected. I've met his father," she added.

Jenny nodded in understanding. "So have I."

"But Dr. Sheridan is so sweet with Danny. You're lucky. Well, I'm going off duty now. Have a nice night."

"Thanks." Jenny stepped into the room. Luke looked up and smiled at her.

"Hi."

"Hi yourself. You look like you slept in those clothes."

Luke tilted his head as he considered his attire. "I flew down to L.A. early this morning. I went to talk to another specialist about Danny."

"And?"

Luke walked over to her. "Let's go outside." He put a hand under her elbow and drew her into the hall, away from ICU. "He thinks the longer Danny stays in a coma, the less his chance for recovery."

"It's been two weeks. Is that a long time?"

"Yes."

Jenny took in a deep breath and let it out. He wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, but hearing the words out loud made them seem more real. "Dr. Lowenstein told me the same thing," she said. "He even mentioned the possibility of moving Danny out of intensive care. I'm afraid if he does that, Danny won't get the attention he needs."

"Don't worry. If they move him into a private room, I'll hire twenty-four-hour, round-the-clock care, with the best nurses available."

"Thank you. I mean that sincerely. I don't know what I would have done without you this past week." She attempted a smile. "Not just your money, but your support. I never expected you to react this way, not after the way we parted."

Luke looked at her with pain in his eyes. "I feel helpless, Jenny. I should be able to do more for you than hold your hand. I can't believe I've spent my entire life studying to be a doctor so I could save lives, and I can't do a damn thing to save my own son."

Jenny studied him thoughtfully, realizing how difficult Danny's accident must be for Luke. Having no medical knowledge herself, she accepted her limitations, but Luke couldn't do that.

"You're doing as much as you can," she said. "That's all you can do. Life is filled with ironies. Sometimes, I get angry and think that God is having a big joke at our expense, but I expect we make our own jokes, by simply believing that we actually have control over our lives."

Luke pulled Jenny to one side of the hall as a woman came out of a room, pushing a little girl in a wheelchair. The girl's right leg was held straight out in a long leg cast. It looked awkward and uncomfortable, but there was a smile on the child's face.

"Want to sign my leg?" she asked Luke.

"Kelly, you don't even know them," the woman said. "I'm sorry. She's determined to break some school record on cast signatures."

Luke grinned. "It's all right. I think I even have a pen." He pulled a pen out of his inside pocket. "Who should I write this to?"