Darcy's Passions (38 page)

Once they finished the letters, Darcy and Elizabeth retreated to the privacy of the alcove. To be with Elizabeth at last gave him more pleasure than he imagined being possible. Most of the conversation between them dealt with their foolish behavior over the past year, but among these moments of mirthful self-reproach hatched
nuggets
of plans for their future. “Do you have preferences for our marriage travels before we return to Pemberley? Would you wish to see the Lake Country?
Fortunately,
the Gardiners postponed their trip there last summer,” Darcy asked during one of these moments.

“I traveled so little, each new place has its own wonder; yet, I do not imagine the roads will be in such good shape at this time of year. May we not wait until summer to travel? I would love to see
the Lake Country through your eyes, Fitzwilliam, and maybe some day to visit Scotland. Papa says you traveled there recently.”

“It was one of the many ways I tried to forget you, Elizabeth. I threw myself into the running of Pemberley, but it was a futile effort,” he allowed a moment of reflection. “Scotland offered me no beauty at the time.”

“Then we should travel there together some day.”

“There is so much of the world I wish to share with you, Elizabeth.” He kissed the back of the hand he held.

“Where shall we go first as man and wife? Jane and Mr. Bingley chose to spend their time at Netherfield; they wish to complete the renovations and refurbishing before celebrating Christmas in their new home.”

“I thought,” Darcy hesitated, not wishing to speak of where they would spend their wedding night for fear of offending Elizabeth, “we could travel from the wedding breakfast to our home in London at Kensington Place. You never saw our London home, and we could control our privacy there.After that, we could decide where we go next.”

“Fitzwilliam,” Elizabeth blushed, “that is an excellent idea. To think I will have a house in London,” she giggled. “Everything is changing so quickly. It is a bit daunting!” Her mood changed quickly, and apprehension crept across her countenance.

“Elizabeth, I watched you for months.” He brought both of her hands within his and made sure she faced him directly. “I can tell your moods by the manner in which you attack your needlework or by the shift of your shoulders or the biting of your lower lip. I know the gamut of your many smiles.There is the smile you have for friends when they need your support, the one where you are excessively happy, the one when you are embarrassed or uneasy, the one when you think of something witty to say, and the one when you laugh to be polite.While I got to know those many mannerisms, I also learned about the woman with whom I wished to spend my life. Your transition into my world will be no great conquest.You already possess all the qualities to be Mrs. Darcy.”

She accepted his evaluation of her ability to be the mistress of his many holdings, but she still possessed some self-doubts.Yet, she knew he believed in her, and that made her more resilient and willing to try to please him. Finally, she offered,“London and some privacy would be heavenly. I fear as the news of our engagement spreads, we will be beset with
guests
who will demand much of our time. If we could spend several days in London without interference, I would be delighted to do so.We could choose to attend the theatre or take in a concert or simply just be alone together.”

“London could offer me no better draw. Our Kensington Place house will finally be a home.” Darcy's face reflected his love.

“May we after a few days ask my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner to dine with us—say, later in the week?” she asked tentatively.

“Certainly,” Darcy smiled, “we will have the dinner we missed at Pemberley; we will come full circle.”

Elizabeth hugged him although Mary sat in the room, and she was sure Mary would offer her a moral reprimand later in private; yet, she did not care; she would be Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy soon. “My aunt and uncle will be so pleased! Thank you, Fitzwilliam.”

“I would do anything to give you pleasure, Elizabeth.You will have time to look over the house and to decide what changes you may want to make. I would wish to offer you my mother's favorite room for your private quarters. You will find the room quite comfortable, but it is a bit old-fashioned; neither my father nor I could ever think of changing it after her death.”

“Fitzwilliam, I am honored. Having part of your mother's belongings for my use is a distinction beyond words. I am sure the room is elegant.” Elizabeth's eyes misted with the knowledge of his love for her. How could she ever think him to possess improper pride? Elizabeth often of late blamed herself for once finding Mr. Wickham attractive and amiable; she felt disloyal to Darcy with each of those reflections.

“Then may I, Elizabeth, send word to Mr. Thacker to prepare the house for us? I will insist no one be aware of our arrival in London; no one will call or leave words of congratulations until we
are ready to receive them as man and wife.”

“Those sentiments are likewise mine, Fitzwilliam,” she teased him by tracing lines up his arm with her fingertips, but Darcy stiffened, and she looked startled.“Have I said something wrong? Have I offered some offense?”

“Heavens, no, Elizabeth!” He softened as he beheld her concern.

“Then you still love me, Sir?” she taunted, leaning in toward Darcy's face and tempting his lips with the warmth of her breath.

“Elizabeth,” he said, the trembling in his voice evident, “I love you so much it hurts.”

 

Elizabeth's prediction of their being beset with intrusions on their time became all too accurate. She tried to protect him from both her mother's frequent notice and her Aunt Phillips's vulgar questions about the size of Pemberley and his apparent wealth. Sir William Lucas pompously complimented Darcy on carrying away “the brightest jewel of the county.” Darcy bore it well and only shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes once Sir William left. Mr. and Mrs. Collins escaped to Hertfordshire to avoid Lady Catherine's wrath once she became aware of Darcy's plans to marry. Charlotte Collins rejoiced in Elizabeth's news, and Darcy's letter angered Lady Catherine. Lucas Lodge offered the Collinses some safety. Having her friend at home to share in her happiness thrilled Elizabeth, but she knew Darcy paid the price by having to tolerate Mr. Collins's attentions. Collins, as usual, paraded about as if he were a man of importance rather than a mollifying clergyman whose living came at the whim of a bitter old woman. Darcy bore all of the pomp and silliness with admirable calmness. Putting up with Mrs. Bennet and her sisters and now Mr. Collins and Sir William took its toll on some of the pleasure of the season of their courtship. All the chaos of the Bennet household increased their desire to be away from all this madness; they needed time alone, and they needed the comfort and elegance of Pemberley and their family together at last.

On one such evening, as Darcy departed Longbourn, Elizabeth stood before him in the entryway; she felt his agitation, and she planned to send him back to Netherfield in a better mood. She gripped the lapels of his suit and pulled him near her, and Darcy found her finely formed features disturbingly beautiful in the flickering candlelight. “Fitzwilliam,” she whispered his name as his reaction to the planned romantic gesture made her blush, “I too have observed you for some time, Sir, and you have multiple smiles, but the one I love the most is the one when you look at me.” She boldly kissed him before parting.

In less than a week, Darcy and Bingley received responses to their letters. Caroline Bingley's letter to her brother proved to be full of insincere wishes and false platitudes. She even wrote directly to Jane Bennet, telling Jane of her delight in receiving Miss Bennet into the Bingley family. Caroline's words no longer deceived Jane, but she still accepted them graciously.“I will write to Caroline and thank her.”

“Oh, Jane, you are much kinder than I,” Elizabeth responded.“I do not believe I could be as forgiving as you.” The sisters were seated in Jane's bedroom at Longbourn; Darcy and Bingley were out shooting with Mr. Bennet. Jane patted Elizabeth's hand in agreement. “Compared to Miss Bingley's short response to her brother, Miss Darcy's response is a novel. Four sides of paper were insufficient to contain all her delight at Fitzwilliam's news we are to be wed. Listen to what she says, ‘Fitzwilliam, I have an earnest desire of being loved by my new sister.' Sweet, Georgiana, her regard will soften the deprivation I will feel at being separated from you.”

“I feel the same emptiness as you, Elizabeth.We have been more than sisters, you and I, but our intendeds are such good friends, we will often be together.”

“Georgiana will arrive the early part of next week. I look forward to your meeting her. Jane, she is so beautiful and so accomplished, and Miss Darcy takes such delight in helping others. I found her to be of a very generous nature.You will adore her; I am sure of it.”

“I will be happy to make her acquaintance. Maybe Miss Darcy and Kitty can become friends. Kitty needs another influence in her life besides Lydia or Mary. I hoped, you and I could bring Kitty to stay with us. She is not as impetuous and uncontrollable as Lydia, and being removed from Lydia's influence and with our proper attention and management , Kitty could be less irritable, less ignorant, and less insipid.”

“I agree, Jane. Why did I not think as such? In a better situation than she finds here, Kitty's improvement will be great. I will speak to Fitzwilliam this evening about her studies and training.”

 

Mr. Bennet sought Darcy's company on their outing; he would have plenty of time to learn Mr. Bingley's quirks, but his time with Darcy and Elizabeth drew short. Mr. Bennet felt the pain of losing his favorite daughter. Previously, Elizabeth confided in her father how she was once blinded to Darcy's goodness; she showed Darcy no regard, but she could not resist his dark appeal. She had told her father, “His distance irritated me at first, but I cannot deny Mr. Darcy fascinated me.” Mr. Bennet knew of Darcy's reputation as a concerned landlord, and he now had an idea of his strength of character, but Mr. Bennet had difficulty admitting any man would be good enough for his Lizzy. Even though they kept it in check, Mr. Bennet also observed the ardor easily visible between Darcy and Elizabeth; this overwhelming affection for Elizabeth softened Darcy's intolerant breeding; he released his passion while maintaining his discerning mind, according to all reports of those who knew him well. He was still a bit of an enigma, but Mr. Bennet would allow Darcy to prove himself if he made Lizzy happy.

“Mr. Darcy, your affection for my daughter places you in my family, but I feel I know so little about you. I know your
reputation,
but I would like to understand the man to whom my Lizzy gave her heart.”

Darcy lacked an easy answer for his future father. “To evaluate oneself is difficult, Mr. Bennet. I fell in love with a woman who
demands I talk all the time when in the past, I was content to be silent. Most would say I have an independent mind, and, I believe, your sister Mrs. Gardiner once described me as obstinate. I am often cautious with my opinion and guarded with my heart.That is, until I met your daughter Elizabeth,” Darcy chuckled.“Elizabeth has a secret inner strength, a willingness to meet any challenge. I love and cherish two women, Mr. Bennet—Elizabeth and my sister Georgiana.That is the man I have become.”

The earnestness with which Darcy spoke stunned Mr. Bennet. “It appears, Mr. Darcy, you recognize the worth of my dear Lizzy.”

“Elizabeth,” Darcy searched for the words to describe the woman with whom he was consumed, “is a woman who sees my innermost self and accepts my deepest reflections without open flattery. I marvel at her unexpected wit and her devotion to her family.”

“Mr. Darcy, I regret ever thinking you did not deserve Lizzy. You are exactly what she needs; yet, I will miss her. Please tell me I may come to see her at Pemberley.”

“Mr. Bennet, you need no invitation to come to our home to spend time with Elizabeth.You are welcome at any time.”

Mr. Bennet offered sheepishly, “Mr. Bingley tells me the library at Pemberley contains many unusual selections.”

Darcy laughed out loud. “Mr. Bingley graciously suffers my censure of the Netherfield library.You will find at Pemberley one may spend many hours lost in the written word.You will enjoy it, I am sure, Mr. Bennet.”

Mr. Bennet's estimation of his new
son
increased with Darcy's willingness to receive him regularly at Pemberley. “Mr. Darcy, thank you for your devotion to Lizzy; she will make you a good wife.”