Dare to Dance: The Maxwell Series (13 page)

I couldn’t argue with her on that. “Why did you?” I was more curious than hurt.

“I don’t know. He was the underdog, and maybe part of me wanted to get back at you.”

“Fair enough. Now that we’re even, let’s talk about blocking.” Fisting my hands, I raised them in front of my face so I was looking at my forearms. “Do as I do.”

She did, and I gently grabbed her left wrist. “Hold this one in place to keep your face protected while you punch with your right. The opposite works if you punch with your left hand.” I stepped back. “Now throw a punch.” She’d been wild when she fought at Tommy’s before. I wanted her to be more controlled. “While you’re punching, you’re moving, and you’re watching your opponent. She goes right, you go left, always keeping yourself protected. If she comes at you on the left, use your forearm to block her. Try a few moves on me.”

She grinned as though she’d been waiting forever to hit me. I smirked but shouldn’t have.

She threw a right hook that hit my jaw. “Not so tough, are you?” She puffed out her chest, sucking in her lip.

She could hit. I would give her that. “Again,” I said in a serious tone before I tackled her to the mat. Her moves were turning me on. Just the way she danced on the balls of her feet was sexy.

For the next thirty minutes, Ruby used me as her punching bag. I blocked as she jabbed. I coached as she jabbed again. I couldn’t say I was excited about her fighting, but at least now she had a few moves in her boxing bag of tricks.

“Okay.” She wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. “I think I got a couple of good moves.” She sounded excited. “Thank you.” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip.

My dick jerked. “Ruby, bite your lip again, and I will kiss you.” For the last half hour, I had done my best to be the consummate professional. But I was hanging by a thread.
Fuck patience. Go on. Get what you want, and take what’s yours.
That was always my motto. Certainly, acting like a gentleman was first and foremost, just as Kade and my old man had taught us boys. Hence, the warning my dad had ingrained in us:
Let a lady know your intentions.

Ruby’s tongue snaked out. “You’re still impatient.”

I moved until a paper-thin space separated us. “I’m not playing, Ruby.” My voice was husky.

“Then kiss me. Unless you’re afraid.” Her shyness vanished as though she had flipped a switch to her sassy alter ego.

One side of my mouth twitched. I grasped her arms gently around her biceps then leaned in. My gaze riveted to hers. She tensed as though I was squeezing out all the feistiness in her. She was nowhere near ready for me to kiss her. Hell, she wouldn’t even look at me, and suddenly, my gut formed a big knot. I was the asshole who’d left her. She didn’t want anything to do with me.

“I don’t want you fighting on Saturday,” I exclaimed as I took in a quiet breath, trying to calm my erratic pulse.

She jerked out of my hands. “I told you not to boss me around.”

“Underground fighting can be dangerous. And what if the cops raid the joint? You could go to jail.”

She casually lifted a shoulder. “So? Not the first time.”

I locked my jaw. “What?” Surprises were popping up everywhere. “You’ve been in jail?”

“How do you think I get food? You think I can walk into a restaurant and get served for free? I can’t eat out of dumpsters every night.” A chord of sarcasm threaded through her voice. “I’m not Penelope. She strikes me as a girl who would get what she wanted even if she was homeless.”

“Stop comparing yourself to Penelope,” I said in a firm tone. “You’re beautiful on the inside and outside.” Silence ticked for a beat. I softened my voice. “What happened to you, Ruby?”

She scanned the room just as she’d done at Firefly when she saw me from across the bar, no doubt searching for a way out of the gym. Then her eyes closed as her chest rose. When she opened her eyes and set her sights on me, peace replaced the frustration she’d had a moment ago as though whatever internal battle she’d had going on had been resolved. “If you want answers, then pick me up next Thursday. I’d like to show you something near my old house.”

“In the Berkshires? But that’s Thanksgiving. Why don’t you join my family and me?” I would prep my family not to grill her. Maybe by hanging with us, she would see I wasn’t that scared boy anymore. She would see that family meant everything to me. “We can also talk quietly before dinner down by the lake behind my house.”

She let out a nervous laugh. “No way.”

“Then show me before then or on Friday.”

“I can’t. I have to work at Firefly up until Wednesday, and the weekends are always packed. It’s okay. Look, thank you for tonight. I’ve got to run. I promised Norma I wouldn’t be long.” She climbed out of the ring.

I could beg, but she wouldn’t listen. “Remember to block,” I said instead. “Anticipate her moves, and keep your opponent guessing.”

She sashayed to the locker room.

What the fuck had just happened?
Your manly ego got in the way, moron.

“Ruby,” I called.

She tossed a blank look over her shoulder.

“Wear those clothes. It will be easier for you to move around. Oh, and I’ll be there on Saturday night.”

She tilted her head. “Norma said you were banned from Firefly.”

“So?” No amount of cops, Tommy, or even the dipshit bartender, Pete, would keep me from watching over Ruby.

I
waited
at the entrance to Boston Public Garden on Arlington Street for my social worker, Ms. Waters, who’d been assigned to my case. My supervised visits with Raven were at the garden. Apparently, Raven’s foster family lived nearby, and they had been taking her to see the ducks and swans every Saturday. So, Ms. Waters recommended we meet there. I didn’t mind at all. I had a great time seeing the excitement on Raven’s face when she saw a swan or a duck or any wildlife. More importantly, I enjoyed holding Raven’s hand as we walked the grounds, feeling at peace, feeling protected from the outside world, and just being a mom… even if it were for only an hour or two.

People ventured in through the gates to my left. An elderly couple lingered for a moment, talking about the George Washington Statue behind me. Then the old man readied his phone camera before he snapped a picture.

“Ruby,” Ms. Waters called from my right.

“Mommy.” Raven’s sweet voice penetrated through me, sending an ocean of warmth to my heart. Sixteen days since I’d last seen my daughter, and I swore time had moved in slow motion. I crouched down as she ran to me, throwing her tiny arms around my neck.

“I’ve missed you, baby girl.” Tears shot out without warning as I inhaled her powdery scent, hugging her as if she was my last breath.

She let go of me and gave me a quizzical expression. “When are you taking me home?”

I tugged her pink knitted hat down over her ears. Then I smoothed my hands over her long black hair that spilled around her shoulders. “Soon.” I swallowed the mountain in my throat, praying that soon meant next week.

I knew better. I gave Ms. Waters a cursory glance as she loomed over us. She was in her mid-forties and wore black-rimmed glasses that hid the lines around her brown eyes. Her light-brown hair was pulled back into a bun, exposing more lines on her forehead. She’d counseled me that my case could stretch out for six months or more, depending on my living situation. She was a nice woman. She was honest, direct, and seemed to want the best for Raven.

Ms. Waters’s red-painted lips spread into a pitiful smile. “Let’s walk. Raven, would you like to see the ducks?”

Raven’s blue eyes went wide as her lone dimple emerged. “Swans, too?”

A pain clamped down on my chest. When I looked at Raven, I saw Kross. I had since she was born, although anger had always come with my visions of him. But not at that moment. All I could think about was the three of us becoming a family. I didn’t know the odds of that. I wanted to believe that Kross and I could work out our differences, and that I could get past my anger.

I had almost given into him when he came close to kissing me the other night. At the last minute, I’d gone from confident to coward, but not because I didn’t want his lips on mine. It was more out of fear that if I kissed him, I would want forever. I wasn’t certain forever with him was possible. When I’d tensed in his arms, sadness and hurt washed over him. He’d covered up his emotions quickly by getting all bossy on me. I believed deep, deep down in the recesses of my soul that he cared for me. I believed he was trying to right a wrong even before he knew about a supposed child. That alone meant I had a place in his heart, at least to me.

With Raven’s hand in mine, we strolled into the garden. Ms. Waters lingered behind. Tourists stopped to admire the George Washington Statue and take pictures.

Raven glanced up at me with the darkest blue eyes. “Mommy, will you take my picture?”

“Let’s go see what the ducks are up to.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t own a camera or a cell phone with one, for that matter.

“Oooh, there’s a swan boat.” She took off running, which wasn’t surprising since she loved the swan boats.

“Wait for me.” I hurried my pace, catching her at the water’s edge of the garden’s lagoon. “How about we go on a swan ride?”

“Yay!” She tugged my hand, urging me to hurry.

We ran back to Ms. Waters, who was lingering near the George Washington Statue.

“We’re going on a swan ride,” Raven gushed.

Ms. Waters angled her head. “We are?”

“Would you like to join us? I’ve got money.” I didn’t know if money was a concern or if she didn’t like boats.

“Tell me more.” Ms. Water’s voice hitched.

“I’m waitressing at Firefly restaurant and bar. I’m also staying with one of the waitresses. I know I have to get my own place, but it’s a start.”

“Is that how you got the new shoes?” she asked.

“Mommy, let’s go,” Raven whined.

I squatted down. “Just a minute. Okay?”

She wrapped her arms around my leg as I straightened to my full height, holding her to me. “The shoes are part of my waitressing uniform.” I was lying, but I wasn’t ready to dive into the subject of Kross yet.

“That’s great, Ruby,” Ms. Waters said. “I’ll make note of that in your file. You know, I’ll have to confirm your employment.”

“Of course.” I made a mental note to prepare Pete. He was the one who answered the phone behind the bar. I should probably fill Tommy in too. I shivered. If I told Tommy about Raven, then he would hold that knowledge over my head and use it to goad me into another slimy deal.

“Mommy.” Raven’s voice sliced through my fear.

“Yes, baby girl. We’re going.”

“Ruby,” Ms. Waters said. “Is everything all right? You look a little pale.”

“Fine.” I couldn’t trust Tommy to keep a secret. If I pissed him off, then he would somehow screw me, not literally, but he could blab to Dillon or Kross, although Kross wasn’t allowed at Firefly.
Stupid thought. Kross will be at the fight tonight.

I wouldn’t ruin my time with Raven. “Let’s go for that swan ride.”

Take out your frustrations on the girl you’re fighting tonight.
My stomach knotted. Tommy would tell Ms. Waters I was fighting illegally. No, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. If he did, then he would only be ratting on himself. Then another scary thought surfaced. Kross had brought up the possibility of the cops raiding Firefly. There was a real chance of that occurring since the fights were illegal. If that were to happen, then I could land in jail and kiss my chances of getting Raven back good-bye. If I didn’t fight, then I would lose my waitressing job.

Raven let go of my leg and began tugging on my hand, pulling me toward the swan rides.

I sighed heavily and painted on a happy face. At least, I hoped my smile reached my eyes. “Are you going with us?” I asked Ms. Waters. She had to keep a close eye on us, but it wasn’t as if I could flee with Raven. The boat left from the dock where we were standing and returned to the same spot. I wouldn’t dare try anything, anyway.

“It is a nice day,” she said. “The sun feels good. Sure.”

Raven talked the whole time between the ticket booth and getting on the boat. She told me about the new doll her foster mom had given her, and about her new friend, Matty. As I listened, I couldn’t help but feel happy and sad at the same time. I was so thankful she had a warm bed to sleep in and food in her belly. Yet the pain of her not being with me clenched my entire body as though I was pinned under a pile of cement rubble.
Drop the illegal fighting and focus on waitressing.

The boat pulled away from the dock, carrying a handful of people in addition to the three of us. Raven sat in between Ms. Waters and me. As we glided down the lagoon, Raven went completely quiet, taking in her surroundings. I draped an arm over her, and she snuggled into me. My tears were on the verge of falling. I wanted to stay like this forever.

But forever was only fifteen minutes. So I closed my eyes, letting the light breeze wash over me. That sense of peace I had felt earlier waned as turmoil seeped into every pore. My hives bloomed with the memory of Norma’s words. “Kross could be your ticket to getting Raven back.” I rubbed a hand along Raven’s arm.

“Ruby,” Ms. Waters said. “Have you heard from your mother?”

My eyes flew open, and I checked on Raven. Thank God she’d fallen asleep. Any mention of Nana got her all excited. “No.”

I knitted my eyebrows. Ms. Waters knew I didn’t have a cell phone, but then I had an idea. I could use Tommy’s club phone to call the correctional facility in Framingham. I would love to hear my mom’s voice. The last time we had spoken was just before she’d gotten arrested. Sure, I was furious with her for her decision to sell drugs. But she was my mom. She’d done what she thought she had to do to survive. I wasn’t any better than she was. I stole to survive. I could’ve gotten a job despite my mom’s advice for me to bond with Raven. Women had babies and worked all the time.

“Ms. Waters, you said my case could take a long time. Is there anything that could speed it up?” Like a miracle.

“As I said, we’ll have to show a judge that you’re working, that you can provide for Raven, and that you have a roof over your head. Based on your new job, you’re moving in that direction.” The wind picked up, and she buttoned the top of her coat.

I kissed the top of my daughter’s head. “What about Raven’s father?”

“What about him? Your records indicate that you don’t know who the father is.”

I pursed my lips. I had to know what impact Kross would have on my case. Good or bad, I had to be prepared. “If I did, what would that mean?”

The boat began to head back to the dock.

Ms. Waters had a contemplative look on her face. “There’s no mention of a father on Raven’s birth certificate. So if he does come forward, then he would have to prove he was the father through a paternity test, which involves a lawyer on his part. Then the lawyer would have to petition the family court for a genetic marker test. In essence, the judge would need to approve the order to have a DNA test done on both Raven and the father. That could take weeks. However, that process could go quicker than your case.”

My chest expanded, but then fear squeezed it shut. If Kross filed for sole custody, then I could lose Raven. At least now, I could see her two or three times a month.
He’s her father. She’s ten times better off with family.
She would love the lake that Kross had mentioned was near his house. Raven was a fish in water. Mom and I had taken her to the YMCA on occasion not long before Mom got arrested.

The boat docked. I lifted Raven in my arms and carried her. She stirred slightly but didn’t wake. Ms. Waters and I walked back to the main entrance in silence. My heart started beating like a drumroll. I didn’t want to let go of Raven. After our last visit, I had hidden for a solid day, crying.

We were almost to the George Washington Statue when a lady who looked an awful lot like Alex jogged through the gate. She wore running shoes, a sweatshirt, and yoga pants. Her brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail.

I did a double take. “Alex?”

She stopped. “Ruby?”

“You jog?” I shouldn’t be surprised. Alex was in great shape. Now I knew how she’d gotten her toned legs.

“I love running through the gardens,” she said.

Ms. Waters cleared her throat.

“Oh, sorry.” I made the introductions and explained to Ms. Waters that Alex was the lady I was living with.

“So, you have a kid?” Alex asked.

I nodded. We hadn’t talked much about our lives. If Norma, Alex, and I were there together, we practically crashed the instant after our long shifts. Besides, Alex was staying at some guy’s place.

Ms. Waters’s phone rang. “I’ve got to take this. I’ll meet you outside the gate,” she said to me. “Don’t be long. I need to get Raven back to her foster family.”

Raven stirred awake.

“Hey, there,” I said as I set her on her feet then grabbed her hand.

She rubbed her eye.

Alex bent down. “Hi. I’m Alex. You’re adorable.”

Raven leaned into my leg.

“She’s tired,” I said. “We should go”

Alex stood. “It was nice to meet you, Raven.” Then she glanced at me. “I’ll see you back at the apartment.” Then she jogged off.

I’d thought about asking her not to say anything to anyone about Raven. But since Ms. Waters would check up on my employment, I had to at least tell Pete. Alex didn’t know Kross, so I didn’t have to worry that she would tell him.

We found Ms. Waters just outside the gate. My heart began to pound. This was the part where I got all emotional. It killed me to say good-bye to Raven.

Ms. Waters ended her call. “Alex seems like a nice lady,” she said as she pulled out her car keys.

We walked in silence to her car, which was parked not that far from the gate. She pressed the key fob. Two beeps sounded from the tan car.

Raven began to cry. “I don’t want to leave you, Mommy.”

“I know, baby girl.” I quickly buckled Raven into her car seat before I lost it. Once she was strapped in, I gave her a long kiss on her forehead. “I love you bigger than the universe.”

Tears streamed down her face. Then I couldn’t hold my own tears in anymore. “I’ll see you soon.”

She held out her arms. “Bigger than the universe.”

I kissed her one last time then ducked out of the car, dashing away tears.

“So about Raven’s father,” Ms. Waters said. “If you know who he is, he could play a key role in your case.”

My ears perked up as well as my pulse. “How so?”

“The family court system wants children to be with family first. As well they should. Raven should be with her mom and her dad, or at least an aunt or grandparent. But something tells me you’re not ready to come clean.” Her gaze swept over me like a metal detector. She was a smart lady. I imagined that in her line of work, she came across all types of people and personalities. That meant she could probably read people better than a psychic.

“I’m not ready.” I wasn’t going to lie, but I wasn’t about to give her names either, not until I spoke to Kross.

“If you’re worried about losing Raven because the father comes forward, you shouldn’t. Again, the family court system values the relationship between mom and child.”

“But it’s not like I have a home or money.”

“You said you were working. The next step is an apartment. But if the father is stable with a good job and home, then why not consider the possibility of Raven living with her daddy? Think about it. Our next visit is in two weeks. You have my cell phone number, and now that I know where you’re working, I can contact you there if I need to. Think about what I said.” She climbed into her car.