Dark Desire (Touched By You 1) (12 page)

"Go on," she demanded.

"I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. I won't deny that. I left with the best intentions of leaving you alone and letting you get on with your life. But even before I was back to my hotel, I knew I couldn't let go. I guess I didn't want to. I didn't see the harm in finding out more about you. As long as I didn't i
nterfere, what could it hurt?" He seemed lost in thought.

Natalie propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes intent on him. "Go on," she requested.

Tanner took a breath, mustering his courage. If he lost her now, he didn't want to think of how that would feel. But, she knew something was up.

"I had asked your name before we parted. It was easy enough to find out where you lived and find out more about you. There are not that many Natalie Bakers in Oakland that were graduating high school that year.

I discovered through my private investigators that you led a quiet life. You worked as a seamstress with your mother. You didn't seem to go out much that I could tell. You attended your local college, so you could stay close to home, I guessed.

When I learned of your application to the design institute, it got my attention. I know you've been designing clothes since you were a little girl. So, I wanted to help. I probably shouldn't have interfered
, but it's too late for recriminations."

He looked at Natalie's surprised face. The pieces were beginning to fit together. "You know an awful lot about me. You were watching me? You had me followed?" Her face wasn't accusatory, more surprised. Tanner just looked at her, his face blank.

"And the scholarship to the institute, you must have helped with that. It was unlikely that I'd be chosen," Natalie stated. Another thought occurred to her. "And meeting you at the boutique, it wasn't by chance was it? You knew I'd be there then." Instantly, all became clear. Yes, Natalie had never seen such good fortune before her encounter with Tanner.

"And you just happened to have a dress that fit me perfectly that you wanted me to model," she stated, beginning to feel rather manipulated. "The casual invitation to lunch, the fashion show… it was all under your perfect control." Natalie took a moment to get her wits around what had happened.

"You should have told me," she stated, miffed. "It's my life. I don't appreciate being watched and controlled. Destiny is one thing, but this is going too far. I've always made my own way. I don't need you seeing that I get unearned scholarships, or…"

Another distressing thought sprang to view. "Cheryl…. she was so generous to let me share her penthouse. It's so elegant. Surely, any accommodations I'd have secured wouldn't be of that scale. You know her
and trust her, you said. I never had to give you her address. You knew where she lived and had been there before. You asked her to offer me a room. It wasn’t her idea, was it?"

Natalie sagged at the realization that she was imposing on Cheryl, who'd only offered her lodging at Tanner's request. And if she knew anything, she knew that Tanner was not easily refused.

Tanner made an attempt to placate her. "Cheryl does prefer company. She likes you. I didn't force her to let you stay there. It was just a suggestion."

"And that's how you knew I'd be at the boutique that morning. Cheryl called you when I left. She'd suggested I stop by there, at your direction no doubt." Natalie's irritation was rising. She'd been independent her whole life. There'd been no one to care for her and certainly no one controlling the path her life would take. It was all too much.

"Are you mad?" Tanner asked flatly.

"Yes, I'm mad," Natalie retorted. "How would you feel? Oh well, don't answer that. You have taken liberties with me. And I don't just mean taking my virginity last night. You have influenced my life without my consent.

I should be grateful, I suppose, because of the benefits. But it's hardly deserved." Tears rolled down her cheeks, increasing her frustration at crying once again when she was angry, which she always seemed to.

Natalie stood on shaky legs, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around her, embarrassed to be naked in front of Tanner right now. She felt so violated.

"Where are you going?" Tanner asked, fearing the response.

"I'm leaving," she declared.

"Shall I call you later?" Tanner asked, keeping his composure. Natalie fumed. "I'll let you know." And with that she grabbed her storybook satin dress and undergarments and stalked into the bathroom to get dressed.

Natalie felt an emptiness inside her that ached, never abating, only worsening. True, she was mad at Tanner. She couldn't abide
dishonesty, no matter how well-intended. She hadn't seen him in two days. At least, he'd respected her decision. She told him she'd let him know if he could call, and now, she desperately wanted to do just that.

The flowers
he’d sent her before their date no longer graced the foyer. She’d thrown them out because she couldn't bear to look at them, such was her pain. She was in unfamiliar waters and didn't know what the right course of action was. She was already in over her head.

Her
brief call to Jazzy that day was difficult. She tried to sound cheerful telling her about the spa, the carriage ride and the dinner. But Jazzy knew her too well and sensed something wasn't right. Natalie assured her that everything was fine. Everything was just all new and overwhelming.

But
Tanner had become an obsession and she continued to want him despite any misgivings. She'd never given herself to another man. It had never been an option. No one else stirred desire in her the way he did.

Thinking it over, she could even understand why he did what he did. If she had known
his full name and where he lived, after their first meeting, what might she have done? Could she really blame him?

He was a man of wealth and power, used to commanding and controlling. He was doing what was natural for him. He'd clashed with Natalie's innate sense of what is right. Still, the truth was she didn't want him any less. He was the man she wanted and she'd have to face that. Whatever that entailed was to be her fate - speaking of destiny.

Tanner left Natalie alone, as she requested. He'd given her the chance to occlude him from her life, more than once, but she hadn't taken it. Now, he'd taken her for his own and found he craved her beyond endurance. Only by losing himself in work, was he able to keep from calling her.

He dominated those around him. He knew that about himself. It appeared that didn't sit well with Natalie. She was not only innocent, but independent of spirit. Tanner hadn't encountered that before. Women were willing to be cared for and protected. He'd thought that was the right way, but Natalie had a different view of matters.

Tanner could take or leave any woman, he'd told himself. Then, how was he to explain his unrelenting desire for one slender, seductive woman? He meant to have her completely. For now, she needed time, but he had every intention of keeping her. He had the desire and he had the power. He only wanted the best for her. She'd have to get used to the fact that he could provide it. And he would.

Cheryl was not surprised at this turn of events. She knew Tanner's nature and his reputation with women. Actually, she knew much more about Tanner than Natalie suspected.
She knew Natalie was at his mercy. Yet, the heartbreak was hard to witness. She made a decision to interfere, which violated one of her personal rules.

Knocking on the bedroom door, she called her name, "Natalie?" She heard some shuffling and then the door opened. Natalie didn't say anything. The sad look on her face said it all. She just went back and sat on the bed, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Cheryl sat next to her and looked at her long and hard. This was love, in all its pain and glory. Ah, how many times had she been through heartbreaks of her own? "Natalie, are you okay honey?"

Natalie shook her head, burying her face in her hands, softly sobbing.

"Can you tell me about it?" Cheryl asked in a kind voice.

Natalie hesitated a moment to get her thoughts together. She so desperately needed to confide in someone. Jazzy would care but she didn't want to burden her. She was at home taking care of mother. The last thing she needed to hear was that Natalie was crushed after less than a week in New York. And now with the confidentiality, it would violate her agreement if she were to tell her sister. It all felt so confining and out of her control.

"I'm in trouble," she started and poured out her heart to her attentive friend, starting with the unforgettable encounter at the concert and through all the events leading up to her untenable situation. When Natalie shared her most private thoughts and informed Cheryl that she was no longer a virgin, the magnitude of the upset was clear.

"Listen, honey," Cheryl told her. "First of all, you are welcome here. Tanner does not give me orders. I was pleased at his suggestion of inviting you to stay with me. Please, don't give that another thought.

Now, on the subject of Tanner…oh, where to begin? I know you don't have a lot of experience with men and I willingly admit I'm not an expert. I've had my share of dramatic breakups. But I do know that Tanner is a good man. With all that business about him being bad for you, it seems he's trying to protect you.

But I know that if you let this relationship pass you by, you'll always regret it. You've had Tanner in your heart since the concert, over four years ago now. Do you really think you can just walk away?" Cheryl asked.

Natalie's heart swelled at the thought of her feelings for Tanner. "No, I can't walk away. Maybe I should, but I won't be able to. I want to be with him, whether that's the right decision or not. But, how can it be wrong to be with someone you love? And I know I love him. He doesn't know that, but I've never been more certain of anything." Just voicing her feelings made Natalie feel better.

"Well, let's do something about those red, swollen eyes. I have a few make-up tricks that might help. And you call Tanner to patch things up. I'm sure he's in just as much pain as you are.
”

Tanner had agreed to meet Natalie at a nearby coffee shop. She looked as sexy in her beige slacks and wool blazer as she did in the satin dress. Tanner had missed her. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

"I know you don’t want me to mess with your future without consulting you. I'm glad it's out in the open now. From now on, you'll know of any plans that concern you," Tanner assured her. "Are we okay?" Although Natalie had done her best to disguise it, he could tell she'd been crying recently.

"Yes, we're okay," Natalie gave a weak smile. Possibly her heart would mend if she sat here looking at Tanner long enough. She never wanted to be separated from him again. "I just want us to be open with each other."

"I'll do my best," he said. "I'm used to being in control. My business depends on it. In my private life, it's been the same. I was just looking out for you. From now on, I'll make an effort to get your consent.

And just so you know, that scholarship was deserved. I've seen your work. No one lost out. The yearly scholarship was given out as it always is. I created a new one for you and future students will benefit from it, now that it's been set up."

He was incorrigible, but so impossibly handsome. "I can't believe you created a new scholarship for me. Thank you," Natalie said graciously. There was no point in arguing about it now. It was done. "When I'm a successful designer, I can pay it back." He may have control, but she wasn't ready to give up her pride by taking handouts.

Tanner found her frustrating. He couldn't fathom why she objected so harshly to him seeing to her welfare. "You're not paying it back," he said with authority. "There's no need to."

"Okay then, I'll help some other struggling designer afford to go to the institute," she said stubbornly, holding her ground.

"If you keep that up, I'm going to grab you, right here in this coffee shop, and spank your bottom," Tanner whispered intimately, leaning in eye-to-eye.

Natalie couldn't believe his arrogance. At the same time, with his face only inches from hers, the idea of him spanking her bare bottom was exciting. It was a new excitement for her. She should be offended at him thinking he could order her about. Yet she felt a familiar heat in her lower body, betraying her overpowering need for him.

Tanner looked at her boldly and her cheeks colored. "Let's get out of here," he directed, taking her by the hand and leading her to the front of the shop, where the limo waited
.

Tanner's New York
garden penthouse, on the Upper East Side, was like a mansion. Natalie's eyes widened, trying to take in the panorama. It was so different from her home that she felt it was more of a royal palace than a home. The view from the outdoor patio was unbelievable. The New York skyline was in plain view, almost as if she could reach out and touch the high-rises.

The long main room was lushly decorated in gold and brown tones with carpet so thickly padded that Natalie felt springy when she walked on it. Tanner led her into his drawing room with wraparound windows and almost aerial views of Central Park and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Along the patio rim, she could see terraces with box hedge and huge planters blooming with river birch trees. There were climbing roses, which looked almost surreal reaching up to the sky against the outline of Manhattan.