Dark Desires: Deliverance (14 page)

"No Vlad,
it's
fine." Val didn't want to continue this
conversation. It would bring up too many emotions she had been trying so hard
to suppress.

"You're not
fine! I see it, all of it! I see you. You aren't the same woman who left for
class that morning. You barely talk, barely laugh… There's this vacant look you
get when you think I'm not watching. Every time I touch you, you recoil as if
the thought of me makes you sick. You haven't let me make love to you since
that first night and even then… it felt as if you had forced yourself be with
me in that way. I sensed the distance when I was looking at you while I was
inside of you. So don't tell me you love me because I know you're only saying
it out of gratitude. I only got you out of the hellhole that was my own
making."

The wall she had
tried to put around herself, to keep the secrets and emotions locked in, was
crumbling. He was blaming himself for everything even though she knew it was
her own disgrace that had her pulling away from him. Every day that passed by,
her guilt grew heavier and corroded any joy she would have felt around him.

"Vlad listen to
me. I do love you. I loved you before we moved in together but I was too scared
to tell you how I felt. It was too soon. Nothing has changed my feelings for
you."

"Then why do you
withdraw from me when I want to be intimate with you?"

"It's not your
touch I hate, it's the memory." She walked to the window and stared at the
strolling pedestrians, wondering if their lives were as complicated as hers.

Vlad wanted her to
tell him what was bothering her. He would go to the ends of the Earth for her
and he metaphorically had. He took a hold of her hand and guided her to a chair
not too far away from where she stood. He knelt before her so that she would
know she had his full attention. "Tell me. What is it?"

"Things happened
when I was in there but it's not important anymore. I don't want to relive it.
I will get better, I promise."

"What
happened?" He didn't like the fact that she was keeping something from
him, something that was eating her alive. He held her chin between his thumb
and forefinger, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"The morning of the
day that you came for me, I went into a panic and
Keyaan
was called in to calm me down."

"Yes, your guard
told me you were having a bad day."

"Did he mention
anything else?"

"No." Vlad
had sensed that there was more to what had happened that morning than the guard
had told him but he had been too anxious to get to Val and accepted his
half-assed reply. He wouldn't accept anything but the whole truth now.
"Why don't you tell me the rest?"

"I was angry and
frustrated. I didn't think you were coming and so I took my feelings out on
anything I could get my hands on. I eventually let go and bawled my eyes out… I
don't remember anything after that. The next memory I have is of me in the
bathtub, naked."

"So you're
disturbed at the lapse in your memory? It's upsetting you that you can't
remember?"

"No, it's that I
can't forget."

The feeling of
foreboding was building up like a dark cloud. He knew that he was missing a
piece of the puzzle since what she was saying wasn't making much sense to him.

"He forced
himself on me. I tried to fight him but I wasn't strong enough."

No, please God no.
Don't let her say it
. "Did he rape you?"

She couldn't come to
grips with the word. She turned her head to look back out the window.
"Tell me, Valerie."

"Yes."

It was a barely
audible whisper, but he heard it all the same and it was a sledgehammer to his
gut. He stood up and pulled her into his arms. He didn't know what he could say
to take away the pain of what she had endured. This was his fault. No amount of
money or power could fix this. He could never undo what had been done. The next
best thing was to distance
himself
from her. He was
not the right man for her and with his past, he never would be. After a few minutes
of holding her, he spoke. "Get dressed and pack. We're going home."

"Vlad, Vlad
please, I tried. I couldn't stop him." Valerie didn't want to replay what
had happened but she felt the need to explain it to him. She thought she hated
him a few days ago but now she realised how much she did love him, how much
they loved each other. She couldn’t lose him now that they were back together.

"You don't have
to talk about it if you don't want to, okay? I just need to organize a few
things and I'll be right back."

She watched him get
dressed and leave the room. Why couldn't she keep her mouth shut? Why did she
have to act so suspiciously? Why couldn't she pretend to be the carefree woman
she had always been around him? She wanted to go home but not if it meant that
he would see her differently.

Vlad walked out of
the suite. He had to distance himself from her before he fell apart. He leaned
against the closed door forcing
himself
to take slower
breaths. He was prepared to deal with any feelings of resentment she had
against him personally. However, he hadn't prepared himself to deal with
someone laying their hands on her and violating her.

He had been selfish
all of his life and he had been selfish when he forced himself into her world,
knowing that his name and reputation would make her a target. He would be doing
her a favour by walking away from her. He could always keep an eye on her from
afar but he couldn't be with her - what she had just told him was irrevocable
proof of that. Love was not meant for people like him. He couldn't lie to
himself about it anymore.

8531

code
for Vladimir

1358

code
for Valerie

Ana
esmi
8531

Arabic)
“
This
is 8531”

Abaya

(Arabic)
a black, robe-like dress worn
by some women in parts of the Muslim world

Boerewors

 
(Afrikaans)
a seasoned South African sausage

Buna
frate

(Romanian) “
Hello
brother”

Chakalaka

(Zulu)
a South African vegetable relish

Chisa
Nyama

(
Zulu
)
“
braaied
meat”

Dragă

(
Romanian
) “
honey
”
term of endearment

Gospoda

(Russian)
gentlemen

Gutra

(Arabic
) a large square cloth worn as
a headdress that consists also of the
Tagia
and
Igal

Habibi

(Arabic)
“
My dear” when
referring to a man

Habibti

(Arabic)
“
My dear” when
referring to a woman

Halas

Arabic)
Enough

Haraam

(Arabic)
Forbidden

Howi
tamam

(Arabic) Safe and secure

Inta
samyi
ini
?

(Arabic)
Can
you hear me?

Long Pork

 
a
euphemism for human meat

Meu Deus

(Portuguese)
My God

Moy Drug

(Russian)
my friend

Niqab

(Arabic)
a veil for the face that leaves
the area around the eyes open

Pap

(Zulu)
a dish made from ground maize

Salaam
alaikum

(Arabic)
“
peace
be upon you”

Scumpa
mea

(Romanian)
my
darling

Shayla

(Arabic)
a long rectangular scarf that
is wrapped around the head, leaving the face open

Shaebi

(Arabic)
My people

Thobe

(Arabic)
an ankle
length garment with long sleeves worn by men

Wa
alaikum
salaam

(Arabic)
“
and
upon you be peace”

Thank you so much for
reading another instalment in the Dark Desires series. In the beginning, I
wrote this story for my best friend and to give myself an outlet to express all
these ideas that are constantly floating around in my head. With the amazing
response I have received for this story, I now also write for all of you who
have fallen in love with Vlad and Val! I hope to make every title as good, if
not better, than the last instalment. I read all the messages, reviews and posts
I receive on the various platforms, so please keep sending then in! Whether
they are good or bad they inspire me to keep going and become a better author.

Dark Desires:
Redemption
will be released in May 2016

Visit my website
https://kourtneyking.wordpress.com/my-books
and see how you can get in touch with me or view what else I'm working on.

Love,

Kourtney
King