Dark Love (The Two Sides of Me Book 3) (5 page)

“Queen, really? Yeah, you’re right. We need to report her and see who’s she's visiting here. They need to keep her in their room or have a shrink see her.”

“Can you do that? Or translate for me so I can?”

“No, I’ll do it, but no one administrative will be here until after the holidays.”

“That’s ok, just watch out, she seems like she could be dangerous.”

“Ok, you don’t have to tell me twice, she creeps me out.”

“I had better get going. I need to go to the house and make sure everyone is settled and that they have everything the need, and I have to stop and talk to the dirty doctor.” Smirking, we both chuckle, even though it’s really not funny. He is a dirty meddling son of a bitch, but Karma’s also a bitch and I know he will get his eventually, they all do. I watch Gabriella gather her purse and coat; she drapes it over her arm. Before she leaves, she kisses Evan on the cheek and heads out the door.

“Wish me luck.”

“Luck.”

She’s going to need a lot more than luck. Shit, I hope she has some acting skills. Dr. David Carter needs to believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I want him to want me.

I’m worried, for all of the obvious reasons, but now I’ve added a few new ones to the list. What if the whole hospital already knows Evan and I are married? What if David saw my rings before I could get them off? What if he knows I’m trying to fool him into doing Evan’s surgery? What if he leaves before I get the chance to seduce him? What if Evan freaks the fuck out when I tell him what I’m doing? Or worse yet, what if he never wakes up to freak the fuck out? I need him awake; I need to talk to him.

I wedge myself in next to him on the hospital bed to have another of my many one-sided chats. “You’re a bed hog ya know? I can hardly fit in here with you. We have a great big bed at home. If you open your eyes, I’ll bet the doctors would let me take you there. They would take that tube out of your throat. I could take care of you in your own bed, just like old times, remember? I could touch you, kiss you…everywhere.”

His chest rises and falls in perfect rhythm, I lay my hand over his heart. “Your heart still beats. I feel it. I feel your presence, baby. I know you’re still here, I know you can hear me. I’m never giving up, I promise. I’m not leaving your side until you open those eyes of yours. I may never see the light of day again, ya know? This room doesn’t have a window, and I’m going a little stir crazy not knowing what’s going on out there. It’s your fault if I go mental; I’ll end up like that lady in the bathroom today. Remember her? I told you about her a while back. I hadn’t seen her for a while, but we…ran into each other again. She told me to go home, talking a bunch of gibberish to an imaginary person, nuts baby, she’s totally bonkers.”

I have his arm wrapped around my waist, and I hold his hand. Lazily, I rotate between circling the tip of my finger on his palm and lacing my fingers with his. I give his hand an occasional squeeze. My imagination starts running amuck, and I swear I feel him try to move his fingers. Then the realist in me brushes it off as wishful thinking.

Shit, I want him back so bad now, my mind is playing tricks on me. It will be Christmas in a couple of hours; I’m sleeping here with him tonight. “I want to wake up in your arms on our first Christmas together as a married couple, actually our first Christmas as any kind of couple,” I tell him and snuggle down into the crook of his arm to sleep with my hand still holding his.

A couple hours later, I’m awakened by the alarm of Evan’s IV beeping. I release my grip to reach for his call light and cringe at the stiffness in my hand. Before I can press the button, a nurse bustles in and quiets the pump. I smile at her, but I’m met with askance and instantly I miss the kind eyes and tender bedside manner of nurse Mona I hope Christmas is her scheduled holiday, having her here would make things so much nicer. I roll out from under Evan’s arm and leave his warm side to appease the nurse and to get officially ready for bed. Remembering my family is at the house I text my mom a quick note saying goodnight and that I’m excited to see them all tomorrow, or today actually, as its past midnight. She is probably still awake; her internal clock must be completely off from traveling so far and sleeping on the plane as I’m sure she did. My mother suffers the worst motion sickness of anyone I’ve ever known. She would have had to be medicated for the flight. I’m right, she texts back immediately. I’m so excited to hear from her that I skip my bedtime ritual and crawl into the cot with my phone while nurse cranky pants finishes up with Evan. I’m getting back in bed with him when she leaves; I couldn’t care less what she thinks.

I can’t sleep in this mansion, it’s spooky here Mia, how do you stand it?!

My mother’s text doesn’t surprise me; she’s kind of a wuss when it comes to scary movies, haunted houses, or anything supernatural. I’ll admit, Evan’s house is freaky at night with all of the shadows and old world décor. I should have warned her.

Sorry, I noticed it too when I went to the kitchen in the dark for water, I didn’t think to tell you. I’m so happy you’re here, can’t wait to see you all tomorrow!

The last thing I want to think about is that damn night I made the monumental mistake of going after a simple bottle of water. We wouldn’t be in this situation if I had just taken my ass to bed! My phone pings when mom responds.

I am too honey, it feels like you have been gone forever. Your dad is scolding me for keeping you up, I’ll see you in the morning and I expect a full report on everything that’s been going on while you’ve been away, oh dad says hi and he loves you too.

God,
I miss my mom and her meddling ways. I just wish I had something good to “report”. As it is
, I’m going to have to make a bunch of shit up. In fact, I had better get my story straight before morning, so she doesn’t catch me in a lie. I shoot her a quick “I love you both.” text and cross the room to close the door so I can change.

Once in my cotton sleeping pants and tank top, I brush my teeth without paste, so I don’t have to go down the hall to the bathroom at this hour. If I have to pee before the sun comes up, I’ll just have to hold it. That’s a skill I perfected long ago from working twelve-hour shifts on my feet as a nurse. Lucky for me, I have a king-sized bladder.

Perching on the edge of Evan’s bed, something makes me hesitate when I go to swallow my sleeping pills for the night. A sensation or vibration hangs in the air; maybe it’s the excitement of being reunited with my family tomorrow? I sit with one prescription bottle in each hand; sudden trepidation filling me, surrounding me. I decide to hold off and place them on the rolling table next to the bed. It’s almost one in the morning, if I don’t take them now I’ll be tired in the morning when my family arrives.

What am I waiting for? The answer to that question tickles my back, and I hop down off of the bed and spin around to see what’s touching me. His hand! Oh my God his fingers are moving! It takes me all of about two seconds to switch my focus from his wiggling fingers to his face. My prayers are finally answered. His glorious eyes meet mine and for the first time in weeks, I witness his thick full eyelashes fluttering while he struggles to focus.

Adrenaline rushes through my body, and somehow I completely forget that he is still in a fragile state, and I pounce on him, tears flowing like the Amazon River. I kiss every part of his face that I can without disturbing the ventilator.

“You’re awake, I can’t believe it, you’re awake you’re awake. Oh, thank you, God!” His hands wrap around my waist and pull me closer, but he surprises me by sliding them up until he’s holding my face. He shakes his head from side to side very slightly and frowns at me.

“What? Why are you frowning? Are you in pain? Oh shit, have I hurt you?”

He repeats the gesture and even amid my elation, I am puzzled. It doesn’t take long before fear grips me tight and I remove myself from his embrace and back up from the bed slowly, a few steps until I’m out of his reach.

“Evan?” I whisper, my voice has taken a temporary leave of absence. “Is it…are you?” I hadn’t given any consideration to the fact that the hateful, evil Evan may be the one occupying that bed when he regained consciousness. I’d foolishly assumed it would be my husband not my monster who would return to me.

He recognizes my fear and what happens next shocks me so fully. I don’t really grasp what he’s done until the alarms are screeching,
and I see the endotracheal tube lying on the floor next to his bed! He has extubated himself!

Nurse cranky pants barrels through the door flanked by two other equally unfriendly looking nurses. They begin speaking in Italian to him, trying to calm him, very unsuccessfully I must say. He bats them away with ease. Even after being bedridden for nearly two weeks, they are no match for him.

He tries to say something, but it comes out as a whisper, despite his effort. Finally, I collect my wits and take a few tentative steps toward the bed to join the nurses. With no idea what they are saying, I’m still a nurse, and I can imagine they are discussing the best way to handle the situation. They have been instructed not to administer any further sedatives, that much I know. They are a little limited in what they can do to control him.

A strong sense of deja vu hits me when his wild eyes meet mine again. He’s sitting straight up in a hospital bed distraught, surrounded by strangers. The only thing missing is his voice yelling my name. His voice isn’t necessary this time, his eyes are doing the calling and his heart is connected to mine now. Some sort of innate perception reveals that this is my Evan and not the monster.

For the second time in less than ten minutes, I rush to him, this time unencumbered by the ventilator I leap onto his lap straddling his hips; my body molds to his and I cling to him like a drowning woman to a lifesaver in the ocean. His embrace is no less desperate, he holds me fiercely until I gasp for breath.

When he loosens his grip slightly, I take my first real breath in two weeks. A breath full of relief and hope and gratitude to God for giving me the best Christmas gift I will ever receive, my husband.

Nothing can compare to the feelings coursing through my body and mind right now. I had faith this moment would come, I prayed for it, begged for it, but the reality is indescribable. Suspended in time, we hold each other until that’s no longer satisfactory, and we begin to touch one another to prove this is really happening.

I hold his face in my hands before sliding them through his soft hair. I watch my own movements, but I can feel his eyes on mine as his own hands explore every inch of me, reconnecting, reuniting. One of the three nurses surrounding us clears her throat, and Evan holds up one hand as if to ward her off.
I know they need to assess him and call the physician, probably order some tests.

I give a gentle shove of my forehead on his chest and then return my eyes to his. “They need to check you over…” A slow, meticulous shake of his head back and forth reminds me of the incredible stubbornness of this man, but I’m also aware that I’m the only person he will listen to.

“Evan, no,” I say sharply. He would never cross the line drawn in the sand by my attackers long ago, “no” means “no” with us. He promised after kidnapping me that he wouldn’t do anything remotely equal to what happened to me with those monsters, and even suggesting intimacy when I’m against it is absolute taboo. The look on his face nearly kills me though. I’ve never turned him away before and after seeing the twisted torment on his face right now, I never will again.

“Please baby, let them look you over. You’ve been out for 10 days.” I tip my head forward and look up at him through my eyelashes, and he nearly melts in my arms. Circling my waist and nuzzling his face into my neck, I recognize a moment of rare vulnerability, he didn’t get what he wanted, but he did it for me.