Dark Memories (The Phantom Diaries, #2) (16 page)

“I’ve never been a jealous man.
Never possessive or obsessed.
I’m not the type to go into a rage over a girl; to fight.” He looked into his cup and that distant gaze returned. “I don’t know what got into me that night when I hit him. I could have killed him. I wanted to kill him. I didn’t even know I was capable of such anger, such violence.”

“It was under very odd circumstances, Chace. Don’t kick yourself over it.”

He nodded, though unconvincingly. “Do you know who it is?”

“Who?”

“This Phantom.
This person who needed to take control of your body.
Do you know who it is, or what they want?”

I hadn’t been prepared for that and I suddenly felt uncomfortable talking about Kristine. Throughout all this, Eric had been my sole confidante; the only person who could truly understand everything that was happening.

But now that I’d made up my mind not to see Eric again, I knew I’d have to talk it out with someone eventually. And I knew that Chace deserved to know who had hurt him so badly.

“Her name is Kristine.” Simply saying the name aloud brought a shiver to my spine. “She died over a hundred years ago, bitter and vengeful.
 
She’d been an opera singer in
Paris
, but her passions and spiteful nature ruined her career then ruined her life.
 
She was a gypsy and there are apparently some family ties somewhere back there.
 
I found an old poster of a show she starred in and she looked exactly like me.”

“You're related to this Phantom?”

“Distantly, yes.”

His gaze scrutinized me.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m nothing like her.
 
She was greedy and selfish. She used people and threw them away at her convenience.
 
Her body and wanton nature were used to drive men insane and have them doing her will.
 
No morals, no scruples… I would almost have to say no heart.”

“I can believe that. I thought I was going insane when I saw you with Aaron. I was literally blinded by rage.” His fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed. “I hope you don’t feel responsible for my leaving New York. I do understand you had no power to stop her.”

“What do you mean?
 
Are you still leaving?
 
Even after I’ve explained this all to you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Chace, I would feel responsible if you left.
 
You have a bright career here and you're the first chair violinist in one of the biggest shows in
New York
.
 
Please don’t go.”

“Being indecisive could also ruin my career.
 
I’ve already given notice here and they’re already considering me in
San Francisco
.
 
To back out now would be unprofessional.”

“I can explain things to the director here, and surely
San Francisco
would understand if you’ve received a better offer… perhaps an incentive to stay here.”

He grinned and it warmed me to my toes.
 
“I have to admit I don’t like the idea of leaving you in all of this.
 
This Phantom isn’t through with you yet.
 
I want to help you through this.
 
I want to be here to fight off this Phantom.
 
No doubt I would recognize her if she were to return to you.”

“She won’t. I won’t let her.” I set my empty coffee cup on the table and sat back.

“Why did she possess you?
 
What does she really want?”
 
He took my cue and finished his cocoa before standing.

“I don’t know that yet.”
 
If I knew, it would make things so much easier. I would know which move to make to protect myself and to keep her from winning.
 
I pulled my coat on and we walked out into the cold.

At the curb, Chace stopped and stared up at the Met across the street. “You know, whatever she wants, it’s tied into this place.
 
She haunted this
house,
she ruined the stage and insisted on having you as the lead singer. All the strange things that have happened have been in there.
 
Her unresolved issues are there.
 
Perhaps it would be best if you leave for a while.
 
Get away from the Met.”

“I feel safer already.” I squeezed his hand, turning to him and beaming a confident smile.
 
“I’m so happy you're staying.”

He returned the squeeze of my hand and gave me a warm kiss on the forehead.

“I don’t know what I would have done without our weekly excursions around town.”
 
Feeling happier than I had in days, I practically skipped across the street while Chace laughed as he kept up with me.

Reaching the other curb, he pulled me into his arms. “Is that all I’m good for?
An excursion guide?”

“That and teasing me to death, and buying me ice cream and pretzels… oh and coffee.”
I laughed and was rewarded with his killer grin that had my stomach turning somersaults.
 
“And this, too.”
I leaned into him and planted a warm, wet kiss on his smiling lips.
 
A deep chuckle resonated from deep within him and within seconds the sweet kiss was aflame with passion.

Awareness of our surroundings finally filtered through and I pulled away.
 
“There’s something about you, Chace,” I said in a voice that was throatier than I’d expected.
 
“Something that makes me
feel
safe; home. I don’t have to be the opera diva with you and I can forget all the seriousness of playing that part.
 
I love how easy it is to just laugh and have fun with you.”

“I’m hoping you’ll come to love a whole lot more.”

“I don’t know where we’re going, Chace, and I don’t want to make any promises.
 
But I do so enjoy being with you, and who knows where that will lead us.
 
I’m only eighteen and I barely know myself.
 
I’m not ready for something too serious and marriage isn’t even on the horizon yet.”

“I know and I understand. Don’t worry, I’m not preparing to propose and put any pressure on you.
 
But one thing’s for sure. I do want to be around when the notion of marriage does make its way over the horizon.”

“You're so unbearably sweet. No matter what happens, I hope we’ll always be friends.”

He laughed and pulled me into his arms, but I could see that simply being friends was far from his thoughts. “Judy said you cried after you learned I was leaving,” he mumbled into my hair.

I cursed Judy for laying it on too thick.
 
Of course I was distraught, but crying?

“I’m going to hold onto that thought and know how it truly reflects the feelings you have in your heart for me, even if you're not ready to make any major moves just yet. And I want you to know, my affection for you has nothing to do with your diva status.
 
It’s you I want, not the opera singer on stage.
 
I know that all of this is a part of who you are, but it’s this girl…” He grabbed my hand and swung it back and forth playfully as he led me to the door of the Met.
 
“…
this
simple girl who likes ice cream and walks in the park that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Chapter 14

I
was smiling, elated, and I felt a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I entered the Met. My relief at Chace’s understanding was more heartfelt than I’d expected. I’d underestimated my fear of losing him as a friend and now understood the importance of keeping a connection with him.
 

Opening the door to my dressing room, I still had thoughts of ice cream and walks in the park and already longed to see Chace again; already longed for that sense of childhood pranks and silly giggles.

As I gathered a few of my personal effects, music sheets set on the small side table caught my eye. A sense of déjà vu enveloped me as I picked up the sheets and scanned the notes. Just as when I’d first arrived at the Met, I was mesmerized by the flow of music across the pages. My curiosity to sing out what appeared to be a marvelous melody drove me to the music room where I’d first met Eric. Memories of that day filled me and a strange longing to see Eric whispered at my consciousness.

The room still held his scent; his essence.
 
The piano, where his fingers had lovingly played out the melody of so many songs as he’d coached and coaxed me. I pulled out the small piano bench and passed my hand over the smooth and worn wood.
Then sat down.

My breathing accelerated as I set out the sheets of music and glimpsed some of the lyrics.
 
They gripped me and I knew singing them would be difficult if not impossible. With trepidation and longing, my fingers slowly tapped out the haunting melody.

The pain of a hundred years

Loved not by the woman who bore

The small boy doomed to tears

Scarred and feared through days of yore

Light touched the heart

Of a beast so loathsome

The beauty and purity to tear apart

Every shred lest thy come

The heart that aches

For the loss of all joy

Unfair as life’s turns take

Betrayed by the age old ploy

Will death sooth the pain

Can the heart once so shattered

Learn to beat again

Or does it matter

My fingers froze and my throat constricted with heartache. “I hurt, too, Eric,” I muttered into the stillness. I felt his pain and it mingled too profoundly with mine. “
A century of yearning for your beauty and love has brought naught
…”
 
No longer capable of singing, I spoke the lyrics before by eyes blurred too heavily with tears.

A chill of damp air trickle up my back and rested at the nape of my neck. I knew he was there. Torn between longing for his touch and a desperate desire to run, I held my breath and waited.
 
The chill increased and his scent wafted to my nostrils.

A flash of memory.
A flash of his flesh.
 
My heart immediately returned to the moments spent wrapped in his arms. I sensed his lips on my skin and longed for his warmth to rid the chill that consumed me.

My fingers ran lovingly over the notes on the page as I stood. “This melody is haunting and heartbreaking.”

“Heartbroken,” he corrected.

My heart tightened. I reached for the sheets and brought them to my chest, as though to protect me from the pain I was to turn and face.

His eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “I wrote that for you.” He gazed at the floor. “No doubt you realized that.”