Dark One: One for Sorrow... (The Khiara Banning Series Book 1) (38 page)

“I don’t like this,” he whimpers, tugging on my sleeve. “I have a bad feeling, Kiki.”

I smile at his adoption of Cara’s nickname for me, but the smile doesn’t last long. “It’ll be okay,” I lie, because I don’t know what else to say. 

“I feel funny,” says Sam. He closes his eyes and squeezes them shut, as if he could get away just by doing that. His little hands move up to his hair, and he grasps it in fistfuls.

“I’m sorry, that’s probably my fault,” I say, remembering the vomit. “We should probably just move away from it.”

“It hurts!” he shouts, and suddenly bursts into tears. “I don’t want to but I know I gotta.”

“Wait, what?” I ask, fearing another play by play.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I’m sorry. I have to.”

I crouch down to his level. “Honey? What are you saying?”

Sam’s eyes open, and he sighs.

“I’m sorry.” My necklace pulses as he reaches out and takes it in his hand, and for just a second it shines with a brilliant light, and then just as fast as it appeared the light fades. Fat tears are falling down his cheeks now and his curly blonde locks are being tossed to and fro by the wind.

The mournful sound of a crow cawing in the tree above us sends shivers down my spine, because I know without a doubt who that crow really is.

“Sam,” I say. “This doesn’t have anything to do with that dream you had, does it?” I ask, remembering the image of myself in a hospital bed.

Sam pushes me away from him suddenly, using a force that knocks me right on my butt. “Sam?” I ask, as he begins to back away from me. My head suddenly feels like it’s made of lead and my nose begins to drip.

“I have to!” he shouts, running straight for the battlefield. “You needa be awake!”

“Damn it, Sam!” I swipe at my nose with a heavy hand, and ease myself up as fast as I can, bursting into an awkward sprint. My stupid human body can’t keep up with him though, and soon I’ve lost the boy and I’m about half yard away from the fight, out of breath and wheezing.

June, the pixie who is on lookout duty, lands on my shoulder and says in her lilting voice, “Please go back. It’s too dangerous.”

“I can’t,” I say. “He’s so small…”

“He could blow this whole clearing up if he wanted to. You need to worry about yourself. Go back!” She flits away, and only looks back once, before heading over to where Patty, sits, not fifteen feet away from me. She looks far too worn out, half-lying on the ground, being held by Melania, who is breathing healing magic into her. They must be taking a much needed break, away from the fight. I wonder for just a second why I couldn’t hear the sounds of the fight when Sam was with me, but as soon as he left me I could hear them crystal clear.

The sound is now deafening.

“Sam!” I scream, and absently swipe at my nose. I run until somehow I’m right in the middle of the fight. I dodge the kick of somebody, who quickly gets taken out by Beth, who shoots me a questioning look and a warning to go back, before running off to fight the next person.

Stupid child,
somebody suddenly thinks directly into my mind.

My voice cracks painfully as I yell for Sam again, my panic reaching a new level as I hear a strange humming noise coming from behind me.

“Khiara!” shouts Cael from somewhere in the clearing; but it’s too late. As I turn my head to try to see where the noise is coming from, a hurtling ball of light hits me right in the stomach and I crumple like a rag doll. How ironic that something so beautiful could be so deadly. As I look around, I become aware that I am not the only one, it would seem, who’s been hit by this – whatever it is. But the only ones who seem to have been hit are those on the side of dark…and me.

My mind whispers Sam’s name, and that crow caws in the distance.

Blood is everywhere.

Death is everywhere.

And I am
awake
.

I am blood and death all wrapped up in one; a pathetic mass of what was once a human being. I was told this would happen; that this would be the end of me. I just wanted to believe that I had a chance. That Cael and I could be together. That Cara and I could laugh together as Tristan does something awkwardly endearing and Vicky gives him hell for it, telling him to be a man. I wanted to get to know Liam, Sam and Lisa better. I wanted to tell my parents how much they mean to me. I can do none of those things. I see that now; I see
everything
.

The forest is filled with people that were willing to die for the cause. The Fallen, Faen, Nephilim. And they fight against each other for me, some insignificant, cursed, and sickly
human
. I am nobody, and yet, somehow, apparently somebody who is very important and all of a sudden my mind which just became so clear begins to feel fuzzy, and I can’t quite figure out
why
.

I can hear a voice in my head that isn’t my own telling me that I’m going to be okay, but I know for a fact that it isn’t true. I’m going to die.

“Khiara!” it says, “Please, stay with me!”
Cael.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize that he isn’t actually speaking English, but I understand him perfectly.

I want to tell him that I love him, but I know that if I try to speak, I’ll just be in more pain.

“Please, don’t go now! You
can’t
die, there’s nowhere left for you to go except Limbo. You’ll be stuck in between, and almost nobody comes back from that. You have to hold on, sweetheart.” I hear Vickie’s voice, but it’s muffled by the sound of my own gurgled breathing. I want to tell her that it’s no use because I am going to die no matter what.

Cael is shaking me, and I can see the tears that he refuses to shed glisten in his eyes, until finally, Vicky slaps him in the face and they make their way down his cheeks.

“Stop it! Can you stop shaking her like a fucking mental patient? News flash, this is bigger than the two of you; it always has been. There is a
war
going on, Camael, and right now, nobody is winning.” She wipes at her eyes furiously. “And FYI, you’re not the only one losing somebody they love.” Her voice breaks on the last part and I wish I could reach out to them, wish I could comfort them.

But I can’t.

I close my eyes for a second and try to concentrate on my thoughts. When I open them, I can see their true forms. This is how I finally realize that this is the end for me.
You never see an angel’s true form unless you’re about to die.

Camael is beautiful. He is the complete personification of divine love, and he shines in a breathtaking blue light. His sobs are gut-wrenching. Verchiel is not shining as bright, but she radiates a warmness that feels contagious and I can’t help but smile. Her glory is purple. They are both so beautiful that my eyes close without my permission.

Somebody moves me, and my head is cradled in hands that are too gentle.

People keep talking.

I can’t distinguish between the voices anymore

“No, no, no. You can’t die, no, you can’t.”

I’m so tired.

“She’s not dead, Camael, s
top!
”

I suddenly can’t feel the pain anymore.

“No!”

Death is a sweet release.

“She’s still breathing! We need to get her to the hospital, now!”

I welcome it.

Invite it in.

And die.

~*~

You are waiting for someone to confirm it,
You are waiting for someone to say it plain,
Now we are here and because we are short of time
I will say it; I might even speak its name.

It is moving above me, it is burning my heart out,

I have felt it crash through my flesh,
I have spoken to it in a foreign tongue,
I have stroked its neck I the night like a wish.

Its name is the name you have buried in your blood,
Its shape is a gorgeous cast-off velvet cape,
Its eyes are of your most forbidden lover
And its claws, I tell you its claws are gloved in fire.

You are waiting to hear its name spoken,
You have asked me a thousand times to speak it,
You who have hidden it, cast it off, killed it,
Loved it to death and sung your songs over it.

The red bird you wait for falls with giant wings –

A velvet cape whose royal colour calls us kings
Is the form it takes, uninvited, it descends,
It is the Power and the Glory forever, Amen.

The red bird you wait for – Gwendolyn McEwen

End of Book One