Authors: Susan Rogers Cooper
âYes, sir,' she said as Early got her to a standing position. She handed me the wig, which I handed to Crystal.
âThank you,' Crystal said, another tear falling from her eye.
âMa'am, I suggest you go on to your cabin now,' I said to Crystal, âwhile I deal with these children.'
âI hope you do!' she said and stalked off.
I turned to the three kids and pointed in the direction of our suite. âOur cabin now!'
With both boys holding Lyssa's hands the three charged off, with me following at a slower pace. They were waiting for me at the door, which I unlocked and opened for them to enter. I pointed to Jean's bed. I wanted to sit on my bed, which was closest to the sliding glass doors and meant that the glare would be behind me, giving me a good view of the three miscreants, but giving them a more obscured view of me.
âWhy in the hell did you grab Mrs Weaver's wig?' I asked. I mean, I was curious.
âI didn't!' Lyssa exclaimed.
âSee, Dadâ'
âI'm not talking to you, John,' I said. I never call him John, or at least rarely do it. Only when I'm seriously pissed at him. I could see his whole body slump.
âEarly,' I said. âPlease tell me why you were out of the children's pavilion.'
âNo, sir,' he said.
I looked at him in surprise. He'd been such a great stool pigeon up to now.
âWhy not?' I asked.
âMy name is Early Rollins, sir. I don't have a rank, and I don't have a serial number, sir.'
âIt's all my fault,' Lyssa said.
Both Johnny Mac and Early said, âDon't!'
But she just shook her head at them. âI wanted to see my mom. I was real insistent about it and I talked Early and Johnny Mac into taking me back to my cabinâ'
âWhy didn't you go by yourself?' I asked, which I thought was a reasonable question.
Lyssa just stared at me. She didn't seem to have an answer for that.
âDad?' Johnny Mac ventured.
âYes?' I said.
Johnny Mac took a deep breath. âOK,' he said. âEarly and I told Lyssa we'd go back with her. We talked Janna into keeping her dad busy and, when the babysitter wasn't looking, we hopped over the fence onto the deck.' He took another deep breath. âIt was all my idea and all my fault.'
âWell,' I said, âI hope you're ready to give up your plans for college.'
âHuh?' he said.
âJust kidding,' I said. âBut when we get back home you're grounded for a month, and I'm serious about that.'
He sighed. âYes, sir,' he said.
As I started to get up, Lyssa said, âDon't you want to know what we found out about Mrs Weaver?'
I settled back down. âOther than her being a blonde, you mean?'
Lyssa waved her hand at me, a gesture I'd seen her mother use a dozen times on this cruise. âOh, that's nothing compared to what we heard!'
âOK,' I said. âGive.'
âWell, we saw a lady's backside sticking out of an open cabin door, and then we heard this male voice say, “I love you” and she â Mrs Weaver â said, “I love you, too, baby.” Just like that!'
âHow did you know it was Mrs Weaver?' I asked.
âI recognized her voice,' Lyssa said. âAnd I told Johnny Mac who it was, but I whispered and he whispered back, but still she must have heard, because she turned around and the man she was talking to â the man who
loved
her' â (and here she made a face and exaggerated the word âlove') â âslammed the door to the cabin and she started screaming at usâ'
âAnd then she grabbed my shirt,' Johnny Mac picked up the narrative, âbut I pulled away, and thenâ'
âShe grabbed Johnny Mac's armâ' Early said.
âAnd then I jumped on her backâ' Lyssa said.
âAnd starting hitting her and I karate-chopped her armâ' Early said.
âAnd she let me go!' Johnny Mac said.
âBut then she started hitting at Lyssaâ' Early said.
âAnd I started pulling her hair,' Lyssa said. Then all three calmed down. And Lyssa finished with a big grin. âAnd that's when her wig came off in my hand and I fell down.'
I sighed. I didn't know what I was going to do with these kids. They were ignoring orders from their parents, running wild on the ship, pulling people's wigs off and all sorts of stuff. Standing up, I said, âYou boys stay here. If either of you step out that door,' I said, pointing at said door, âthe next bed you see will be in one of Chief Heinrich's holding cells.' Turning to the girl, I said, âLyssa, I'll walk you to your mom's cabin.'
With that, I left the suite, hoping I wasn't going to have to break Jean's cardinal rule and beat my son.
I didn't have the heart to tell Esther Monte what her daughter had been up to. I just knocked on the door, said, âSomebody wants to see you,' and ushered Lyssa in and shut the door behind her. Then headed back to the cabin. Halfway there I ran into Mike Tulia and his daughter Janna.
âJeez, Milt! They got away. With the help of a co-conspirator!' he said, giving his daughter a dangerous look.
âI found them,' I said. âThe boys are in the cabin for the rest of the cruise and Lyssa is with her mother.'
âYeah, well, I'm taking this one to her mother! Lucy's the disciplinarian in the family.' He looked down at Janna. âYou're in for it now, girl,' he said.
Janna did not look happy.
âMeet you at the bar in half an hour?' I said to Mike.
âNo sweat. Make it fifteen,' he said, and headed off towards their cabin.
Since I had the boys and Jean and I were separated, she had her phone on her, so I called, wondering where she was. She picked up on the third ring. âUmm?' she said.
âWhere are you?' I asked.
âHaving a massage at the spa. After this I'm having a facial.'
âI didn't win it for you at bingo, so now I'm paying for it?'
âExactly!' she said with a laugh.
âOK. That's good. I've still got some business to take care of. The boys snuck out of the pavilion again, but I found them and they're currently under house arrest.'
I could tell by her voice that she'd shaken off the masseuse and was half sat up. âAre they OK? Who's watching them?'
âThey're fine, and no babysitter this time. I told them if I caught them out again, I'd have Chief Heinrich put them in his holding cells until we got to Galveston.'
âGod, you're a mean man,' she said, her voice â and presumably her body â calming down.
âEnjoy yourself,' I said and hung up. Now I had to deal with Mike, and it wasn't going to be fun.
I made it to the bar and ordered a light beer. My jeans were getting a little tight; I figured it was from the regular beers I'd been drinking aboard ship. It couldn't have anything to do with my dining-room antics â the food was free; therefore, no calories.
Mike joined me in less than the allotted fifteen minutes. âJeez, these kids! I don't know what to do with the little shits!' he said.
âI told mine that one more incident and I was having Heinrich put them in a holding cell,' I said.
Mike shook his head. âOne of the girls would just find a way to break them out.'
I laughed, then sobered. âListen, Mike,' I said. âI heard something I need to confirm with you.'
âWhat's that?' he asked, being handed a full-bodied bottle of Corona with a lime wedge on top.
âI heard it through the grapevine that you and Crystal spent some alone time together.'
Mike choked on his Corona. âShit. That's no grapevine, that's Esther, right?'
âYeah. She mentioned seeing the two of you together.'
Mike sighed big time. âWe weren't “together” together, if you know what I mean. Crystal snuck back to the bar after Vern went to sleep, pulled me into that foyer to the comedy club and got frisky.' He sighed again. âOK, I thought about it. She was coming on to me big time â God only knows why â and I thought about it â a lot. But then I kept thinking about what you said, you know?'
I frowned. âWhat did I say?' I asked him.
âYou know, about losing everything for a piece of ass. And it's true. Just because she's got a nice outside doesn't mean the sex would be any better than what I've already got. 'Cause what I've already got is pretty damn good. And just when I was thinking that, along comes Esther and makes it look like I only stopped because I got caught. And I swear, Milt, that's not the case.'
âSo you haven't been seeing her before this trip?'
The look on his face was total confusion. âHuh?' he said. Then, âShit, no! I didn't even meet her until the morning of the cruise. Lucy and I stood up for them at the wedding. I knew she had to be a knockout, 'cause why else would Vern dump his wife of twenty years? I mean, he and Lois always seemed really tight.' He shook his head. âSee? Perfect example of your theory about losing everything over a piece of ass! He lost custody of his boys, he lost his house he'd paid millions for, and he lost his best friend â Lois. All for plastic boobs and a red dye job.'
I looked at Mike with new respect. âIt's not a dye job, it's a wig,' I said.
âNo shit?' He laughed. âI wonder if Vern even knows that?'
I held up my bottle of Bud Light and said, âHere's to our wives; may they always have us by the balls.'
He grinned and clinked his Corona to my Bud Lite. âAmen, brother,' he said.
T
he break room doubled as the observation room, so no one was allowed to use the soda machine while a suspect was being interrogated. Emmett put the âin-use' sign on the glass window of the break room, popped a dollar in the soda machine and got himself a Dr Pepper, turned on the sound from the interrogation room and sat down at the break table. Holly was already talking to Mrs Hunt.
âSo sorry about your oxygen, Miz Hunt,' she said. âI wish we'd known!'
âI tried to tell that sheriff of y'alls, but he wouldn't listen to me!' the old biddy said.
Holly laughed. âWell, you know men!' she said.
âDon't I, though. Hell, Darby was just like his father. That man had a lump of coal for a heart, I'm telling you the truth.'
âGood,' Emmett said into the walkie. âKeep her talking about her husband.'
âSo what happened to your husband?' Holly asked.
Elizabeth Hunt grinned like the Cheshire cat. âI killed him,' she said.
âI'm thinking her elevator don't go to the top floor,' Emmett said.
âHow so?' Holly asked, with a quirk of her head.
âFed him to death! The man did love a breaded and fried pork chop! Mashed 'taters, chicken-fried steak, fried chicken, rice casserole, macaroni and cheese. Sometimes all in the same meal, come a Sunday. We used to do it up grand come a Sunday,' the old woman said.
âSounds delicious,' Holly said, although Emmett could tell she was gagging just a little bit. The girl was like a vegetarian or something.
âYou know it. But Darby comes home and he won't eat a thing. I fix him all the things that used to be his favorites â butter beans and ham hock, collards, five-layer chocolate cake, but he wouldn't eat a damn thing! Just sits there and picks at his food, like mine wasn't good enough for him after he been in the pen. You think the food in the pen's any good?'
There was silence for a moment, then Holly shook herself. âOh! You're asking me?'
âYou're the one I'm talking to, aren't I, for God's sake!' the old woman said.
âWell, I'd guess that the food wasn't that good in the pen,' Holly summed up.
âDamn straight!' Mrs Hunt said, puffing out her chest. âI even made him cheese enchiladas!' She leaned forward and said, âI got a friend, Miranda, she's from Mexico. She taught me how to make 'em. They're real good. Want me to make you some?'
âSure!' Holly said with more enthusiasm than Emmett figured she meant. âDid Darby like the cheese enchiladas?'
âHell, no!' his mother said. âStuck his nose right up at 'em. Accused me of trucking with Mexicans. I said as how I only had that one friend, so that would be trucking with “a” Mexican, not “Mexicans!”' She laughed heartily at this. âAfter he came home he was right mean about coloreds. You know, all of 'em: black ones, Mexicans, Jews and A-rabs. Couldn't abide them A-rabs. Heard a lot about that once he got home, I can tell you that!'
âSo bring up his death,' Emmett said in Holly's ear. âSee if she has any idea who might have killed him.'
âI was so sorry to hear about Darby's death,' Holly said.
âI wish he'da married you,' the old woman said, patting Holly's hand. âYou'da made a better wife that that damned Cheryl, always with the stuck-up ways. Never did like that little bitch!'
âWell, ma'am, I wasn't even born back then,' Holly said.
â'Course you were!' the old lady said.
âDon't argue with her,' Emmett said in Holly's ear. âShe's a taco short of a combination plate, remember? Just let her rant on and let's see what happens.'
There was a barely discernible nod of Holly's head. âSo who do you think shot him? Did you see anybody outside that night?'
The old lady shook her head. âDidn't see nothing 'cept what was on the TV. We were just sitting there watching the TV, one of my favorite reality shows â the one where they dance?' Holly nodded her head. âI like that one. They wear real pretty clothes. We were just watching that then the whole front window plumb blows out! And I turn to my boy' â her face got red and she began to tear up â âto say how somebody broke out the window, but my boy, my Darby, he's lying back in his chair and there's a hole right between his eyes. Right between his eyes!' She screamed the last part and began to bang her head on the table.