Dark World: The Surface Girl (16 page)

             
I couldn’t think that way! My dad was part of the Order and he would never be a flatfoot! He would never do to others what the flatfoots did! He would not haul off beloved family members to be put to sleep simply because they turned sixty.
             
“I didn't have much of a choice at that point but to trust Beau. I followed him down a few more twists and turns in the passageway and he led me to some sort of boiler room. He said it was the Rhode Island headquarters of the Order, but the Order had members all over The Complex.” So it
was
Complex-wide! “Ruby,” Reese paused again and lowered his head as if ashamed. I sniffled. My fingers reached forward seeking his and they ended up curling around his hand. I was patient. I waited. “I had to tell them you were with me yesterday. They hadn't seen you on the cameras yet. If they thought my life was in danger because of the cameras, that means yours was, too. The flatfoots would have eventually seen you on the feed.” My breath caught in my throat. “The Order had already managed to get a message to your dad about me but by the time I told them about you, I-” he paused again and shook his head softly. “I'm sorry. I just, I had to be sure I felt like I could trust these people before I brought you into it. If it was a con and they were government moles trying to get me to tell them why I was sneaking into the passageways or to tell them what I knew about the girl, I wasn't going to hand them a reason to eliminate you, too. I'm sorry.” I trembled. Why was this happening to us both? Neither one of us had the information we needed so we kept making choices that seemed to make things worse. It wasn't our fault. We were trying our best. It wasn't fair! This life wasn't fair.
              I scooted forward and tucked my head under Reese's chin and against his chest. My fingers squeezed his hand. “Don't be sorry. I wouldn't have known if I could trust them either. How do we know even now?” I hoped and prayed that Reese had an answer to that question, not just any answer but a satisfactory one. I
hoped
, but I knew better at this point than to expect.
              “We don't.” I figured as much. “But we don't have much of a choice, either. They didn't want me leaving headquarters but with you being in danger, I had to find you and get you to safety so I snuck out. I knew there was a flatfoot stationed in your hall. When I told Beau that you'd been with me   in the passageway and you'd seen the little girl too, he me about your family being under confinement because of your dad's virus.” Reese ran his fingers through his thick hair to pull some of the longer strands away from his eyes with an exasperated sigh. “I didn't know how I was going to get to you. I thought of going to Willow again and maybe having her get a message to you by saying she was bringing you homework for the classes you were going to miss but then they might have searched her. I wanted – probably needed – her help, but I had to have a plan first, a way to get to you and a way to get you out. I was pacing and starting to lose my mind, I was just standing there trapped in the passageway while they could discover you breaking Doctrine any minute and come for you.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. I squeezed his hand again.
              “But they didn't. I'm right here,” I tried to remind him in a soothing voice. He pressed his lips together and raised his chin again.
              “And you ran right past me.” I did..? “I would recognize your face anywhere, even as a blur. I thought maybe I was losing it but I ran after you anyway.” I knew the rest.
             
And here we were.
             
“But, Ruby,” I lifted my head again. There was more? How could there be more? “Once your parents realize that you're gone it’s only going to be a matter of time before the government finds out, too. And that’s only IF they haven't discovered you on the camera feed yet. Either way...” I squeezed my eyes shut.
             
NO. No no no no no no NO. Do NOT tell me my parents are going to die.
             
“I – I left a note for my dad,” I admitted, though it didn't solve anything and it wasn't going to keep them out of danger. In fact, now that I said it out loud, I realized it was literally the dumbest thing that had ever come out of my mouth. “They're gonna get PUT TO SLEEP!” I started shaking again. What had I done? I hadn't saved Reese, in fact, he had already been en route to try and save
me
. I had literally accomplished nothing with my air vent antics except putting my parent’s lives at serious risk.
              “Hey, listen to me.”
No
. I didn't want to. I couldn't look at Reese right now. “If you hadn't escaped like you did you might not have had a chance to stay alive.”
So he was admitting that my parents were doomed. How could I have done that to them? How could I live with myself knowing that it was my fault their lives were going to be taken?
              “Why did you ask if I could go back?”
              “I thought maybe you could get a message to your parents. But it’s too risky.”
              “I can't.” I was horrible. I loved my parents fiercely. The knowledge that my impulsive, life-changing decision had just put them on death's list was sickening to me, so much so that I was certain I never wanted to look at myself in the mirror again. And yet, the thought of crawling back through those air vents filled my veins with ice. “I could barely fit. My dad wouldn't be able to.” Reese sighed. “Wait -” My selfishness seemed to know no bounds. I was terrified for my parents, but... “What about Gaia and Thao?” Reese lowered his head at my mention of his parents. This time, it was his hand that gave mine a squeeze.
              “I don't know,” he admitted. “I'm not even sure if they're alive.”
             
Oh, Reese!
             
I
adored
Gaia and Thao. They had always been kind to me. Gaia often had a smile and a warm hug and Thao would always say things to me like, “My goodness Ruby, you truly are a gem! You get prettier every day!” What if Reese never saw them again? What if they were
             
No. Don't even
think
it.
             
“What do we do now?” I hated giving up like this, giving in, yielding any control over any possible choice and admitting to myself that I was in way over my head or capabilities, but I was so tired. My body stung in several places, I was cold, and the life I had wanted to escape from every moment since I was a toddler was already a life I missed. Irony was ironic that way, but there was no turning back. Ever. I realized that now. These dangerous choices were for keeps.
              “We go back to the Order. We beg them to help your parents, if there's a way.”
              “And yours,” I added, though the agreeing comment I expected hung silently in the ominous air like the way Beau once described storm clouds in class.
              “Can you walk?” Honestly, I wasn't sure. Reese slowly slid his arms away from me and mine fell limply to my sides. He scrambled to his feet. He offered me his hand. I reached up, grabbed it, and allowed him to tug me up. The moment I stood, my blood rushed down to my leg and the pounding sting of my wound intensified. I gasped but I refused to be a wuss. I refused to be even more pathetic and helpless than I already felt.
              “I can walk,” I assured Reese. He slipped an arm around my waist anyway. I almost pushed him away but my pain battled my pride and quickly got the upper hand. I hobbled along, half-leaning on Reese for support and mustering up the very last bits of determination I had in me for the rest. The quicker we got to the Order the quicker I could demand that they save my parents. I just wanted to see them again. I wanted to tell my dad how sorry I was for letting him down. I wanted to rewind the clock so my mom never had to know about or face any of this. In fact, I wanted to rewind the clock so that I never had to either, but I knew that was impossible. All I could do was learn to accept the new realities that surrounded me and take each moment as it came. It seemed like the only way to survive until – well – until there were no more moments. I would not let myself give up hope until I took my last breath.

Chapter 8

             
Reese and I rounded a corner as he led me back to the Order's hideout. The silence broke with a scuffle that did not come from our own four feet. Reese immediately curled his fingers around my forearm and yanked me into the shadows. We pressed our backs against the wall and my heart quickly began to race in my chest. My fingers curled in his as our hands locked. A mutual squeeze served as our own silent communication that if these were our last moments, we would face the consequences together. That didn't make me any less terrified but at least I was not alone. I was with the person I loved.
              We didn't hear any more scuffles. Reese shifted his eyes in my direction. I widened my own. Had it been a random noise? Perhaps it had been air whooshing through a vent or water moving through a pipe. Although we had obviously both heard a noise, how could either of us be sure of what we heard? We were both on red alert, our ears keen to the slightest shifts in our environment and our minds ready to interpret the smallest clamor as a catalyst to our mortality. My body remained frozen until Reese loosened his grip on my hand. We cautiously stepped out of the shadows and continued to move down the passageway but we walked a bit slower, making sure that each time our feet came in contact with the cement floor we made as little noise as possible. We rounded another corner. Reese pointed toward a rusty door and dipped his chin. I understood. It was the Order's headquarters. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from crying out in utter relief. There were people in there – people that could help keep us safe. My brain wanted to remind me that being with the Order did not mean our lives were no longer in danger but I needed to believe, even if only temporarily, that these people would be our salvation. They Order keep us safe, they would rescue my parents, they would rescue Reese's parents, and we would all somehow manage to live happily ever after.
              I wasn't quite sure how that would work out considering we were now fugitives and The Complex only had so many places to hide, but I needed something to believe in, something to look forward to, an ending, a resolution to calm my terror.
              About fifteen feet from the door, Reese paused and gently touched my arm signaling me to do the same. I raised my brows with worry. He held a finger to his lips. He stepped forward without me and approached the door cautiously and quietly. He knocked three times, then paused, knocked three more times, paused again, then knocked twice. It didn't take a genius to figure out it was a coded knock. How had he remembered the pattern? I supposed when it was a matter of life and death our memories worked better than usual. I expected the door to open a crack and for a member of the Order to peer out, but nothing happened. I bit my lower lip. Why was no one answering the door? Was Reese's knock incorrect? We waited a bit longer. Slight but justified paranoia told me to look over my shoulder and then slink back toward the wall. Reese knocked again, repeating the same code. Still nothing. Maybe it was the wrong door.
Maybe it was the wrong code.
I leaned forward from the wall as Reese turned around, but then the door finally creaked. Reese took a step back. “Come in. Hurry.” Reese turned around and gestured to me. I jumped forward on the balls of my feet. We both squeezed in the door and it was quickly shut behind us. The room was pitch black and a familiar sense of panic rushed back to me.
             
Dark
space.
Confined
space! WHO WAS IN THIS ROOM WITH US?
             
I whimpered softly. My hand reached forward, desperately seeking contact with Reese's. I felt the edge of his shirt and I scuttled to his side. I couldn't be alone right now, I would lose my mind.

I heard a footstep directly in front of us but all I could make out in the darkness was the hint of a silhouette. The footsteps moved away from me and around Reese. Then they were behind me. Then they were at my side. Someone was surrounding us, walking around us in a circle and it was deliberate! I whimpered again despite my better judgement. They were
trying
to terrify us.
             
This is a trap. It’s over. We're going to be interrogated and then put to sleep.
             
Mom, Dad, I'm so sorry.
             
“Who is the girl?” A low, raspy voice demanded. My throat tightened. My hand squeezed Reese's so hard that he was probably in pain.
              “That depends, who are you?” Reese challenged. All of my muscles tensed. Reese was brave but I feared it would only make things worse for him.
              “Evon, the Rhode Island Vice-Divisional Leader of the Order of the Elements.” I did not relax. How did we know he was telling the truth? What if the Order had been discovered after Reese left to find me? What if the government stationed a flatfoot to pose as a member of the Order to capture anyone returning who did not know their headquarters had been compromised?
              “Prove it,” Reese cheekily demanded as if mirroring my uncertainty. I trembled again.
              “We told you to remain stationary. We expressed the importance of the Order, what we stand for and the lives we are trying to save. You disappeared of your own volition so we were forced to abandon our original headquarters and reconvene in a secondary safe location. I was ordered to remain behind in case you should return. Now answer me;
who is the girl
?” I wasn't sure if Reese was going to answer him or not.
              “Ruby R-1046.” I could hear Evon shifting his weight. My breath caught in my throat.
              “How did you retrieve her?”
              “I didn't. I couldn't figure out how. A flatfoot is guarding her barracks because she and her family are under confinement for the nasopharyngitis her father caught from the little girl. Ruby escaped her barracks by crawling through an air vent. It was blind luck that we found each other.” Evon shifted his weight again. I shifted too in the uncomfortable moments of silence that followed.
              “Why did she attempt such an escape?” It was my turn to perpetuate uncomfortable silence. Reese was afraid, just like I was. He didn't know if he could trust this man either. In that moment I realized that no matter how we answered, if Evon was a flatfoot we were already as good as dead. There was nothing left to do now but to be honest.
              “It was the message,” I finally responded before Reese tried to make up an excuse for me. “The message the Order sent to my father. It said Reese was in danger.” More uncomfortable silence.
              “You're Robert's girl. You're not mated with Reese. Why would you risk your life and the lives of your parents for him?” I let go of Reese's hand and slid my arm through his. I wasn't sure if I was protecting him, or seeking his protection.
              “Reese is one of my best friends. I've known him since we were small children and I had to make sure he was all right.” I was too ashamed to explain that Reese had been the one to find me and I had only added to the danger instead of saved him from it, but I suspected this man had already figured that out.
              “Hold out your right wrist.” I hesitated. My eyes shifted with uncertainty to the only person in The Complex that I could fully trust right now. Reese nodded his chin. Tentatively, I did as instructed. My hand shook a bit. Evon grabbed it and brought some type of contraption toward it. I could not see well enough in the dark to make out what it was, and instinctively I began to pull my hand back but his grip on my wrist tightened. Before I could struggle further, something on the device clicked and a blue shock wave hit my wrist. Instantly, my entire body jerked as a surge raced through my heart. I quivered and my eyes widened in terror. I managed to yank my wrist out of Evon’s grasp and I drew it back toward my chest. It stung. “Just electricity,” Evon said as if those words were supposed to calm me. “We’ve discovered that our ID chips have a higher purpose than simply our identification, occupation and mating status. They elicit an electronic pulse which is very likely a tracker. We will get around to removing your chip altogether, but a small shock disturbs the electronic output which scrambles the tracker.” My eyes widened as I rubbed at my stung wrist.

              “For how long?” I asked fearfully.
              “Long enough until we can remove it permanently.” Evon replied impatiently before quickly and intentionally circling the topic back around. “So you escaped to find Reese. But what of your parents? What do you think will happen to them
when it’s discovered that you are missing?” Irritation and sarcasm ruled his tone like an arrogant king. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the burn of giant, messy tears welling up behind my eyelids. I bit my lower lip, hard. He had a right to point out how foolish I had been. He had a right to showcase that by not thinking things through fully, I might have gotten my parents killed.

              “You're young and naïve. You can't imagine the extent of the government's lies. We suspected the subterfuge years ago. Gossip and questions travelled underground. As random members in each division started latching on to these questions, some of them began to suffer accidents. Others were taken to the transitional containers under false allegations. The government was trying to stop the truth from spreading. Over the years the Order developed. To protect our lives, absolute secrecy was of utmost importance. What began as a question of whether or not we could return to the surface to reclaim it for our species turned into paranoia and suspicion. It was obvious that these fairly raised questions were considered a threat to Doctrine.
              “We've been able to discover some answers, but not many. Our interest is in preserving the lives of all of us down here in The Complex and finding a way to safely return to the surface so we can start over, rebuild humanity by working together, not by falling prey to a tyranny that took advantage of all of us in a vulnerable state A.I.” My throat was tight and forcing air through my windpipe was a chore. My head spun like my body used to as a child, only I couldn't make it stop and the dizziness was no longer fun. It was just making me nauseous.
              I thought I had an inquisitive mind. I was never content to settle with the life-plans laid out before me. I wanted to experience Earth. I wanted to choose my own lover. I wanted to be able to decide for myself if I wanted children or not and I wanted to be able to pick a career out of a bigger pile than the mundane, brainless jobs in The Complex. I wanted to be able to use my mind. I wanted to question and explore and think and improve the lives of people around me but instead I had been told over and over again that my purpose was to procreate and my life had no other meaning. Grandpa Logan was right to encourage me. Dad was right to be a part of the Order.
              What really happened to my grandmother? What if Mom was right and her death wasn't an accident after all? Had her 'accident' been the government's way of eliminating her? Poor Grandpa Logan. No wonder he encouraged me to reach further than the walls of this cemented cage. No wonder he wanted me to have a chance at a different kind of life.
I opened my eyes. I wiped my whale-sized tears on the back of my forearm.
“You say your interest is in preserving lives. Are you going to save my parents? What about Reese's?” I could hear him shifting his weight again.
             
No.
             
Hesitant silence right now was
not
acceptable.
             
“I'm not sure if we can try and save them without exposing the entire Order.” I didn't care how dangerous or ill-fated my demand was, I was not going to stand here in the dark and listen to some speech about how sacrificing the few was for the good of the many. I heard that in school, a lot. During those lectures I thought that I hadn't paid much attention, but hearing various teacher's voices fresh in my mind right now proved otherwise. Those words
had
impacted me, just not in the way the teachers and the government hoped they would.
              “My grandfather wanted me to believe that there was a life waiting for me somewhere out there that was better than this one. He never wanted me to let go of my imagination. He told me about his childhood on Earth in ways that made me want nothing more than to experience those things myself. My grandmother died in an accident, or so they say but my mother doesn't believe that. She believes my grandmother's death was engineered. She lives every moment of her life in fear of the government and what they might do. My father pretends to be closed off, quiet and accepting of the fact that his life was basically meaningless but I found out very recently that he is a part of this Order. He joined because he wanted me to have a chance at a better life, just like my grandfather wanted. He risks his life by being a part of this Order because it’s what he believes in. He thinks he can make a difference. So you listen to me. If you mean what you said about valuing lives, you
will
find a way to save my parents.”
              My voice began to tremble with the last few sentences of a speech I had no idea I was capable of making. If I were anyone else and I heard those words coming out of me, I would probably have believed that they were coming from a strong, determined, capable girl and the irony was, I was the opposite of those things in every way. I was clueless, incompetent, incapable and a coward, but I loved my parents and if I couldn't save them myself, I refused to let pride or embarrassment stop me from making that demand.
              This time, the awkward silence that followed felt different. I was still trembling, but rather than shaking with timid fear and feeling as small as a mouse, I was shuddering with self-surprise and determination.
              Change didn't happen overnight, which was unfortunate because one day can change your entire life. My logical mind knew and understood that I could never return to my old life. I would not have to marry Connor after all; in fact, I doubted I would ever see him again. Did that mean I could spend my life with Reese? Maybe, that is, if we both lived through whatever was going to come next. We were fugitives now and that was terrifying because The Complex only had so many places to hide. Reese and I certainly couldn't spend our whole lives running and hiding. Either we would eventually be caught, or the constant stress and fear of being caught would age us and destroy us way before our time. Sending people to the transitional containers at sixty was far too soon and far too unfair, but if Reese and I had to live in constant fear we wouldn't even make it to thirty.
              The darkness still made vision a challenge and although I couldn't see every detail of Reese's face clearly when I looked up at him with searching eyes, I sensed that our thoughts were the same. We still did not have freedom and we still did not get to choose our own path. We had to rely and depend on the Order's experience and knowledge to keep us alive. We had no other choice.
              “If I take you to our secondary headquarters, you both need to swear an oath to me right here and right now.” I raised an eyebrow with tentative suspicion and squeezed Reese's arm. He squeezed my hand back to remind me of the silent communication we had just shared. “You will not leave headquarters again unless we tell you to, and/or unless you are with an official escort. Your objective while we are stationary will be getting the little girl to talk. We need to know where she is from and what she knows about us. She doesn't trust us, she thinks we're holding her captive.”
              They essentially abducted an already terrified small child and then wondered why she wouldn't speak to them? Evon was an idiot.
              “Up until now, every Rhode Island member of the Order has successfully lived a pretense of a compliant life so they've had barracks to return to and families to protect. That's all about to change. Right now, we have limited food and water and we have very little time to plan our next move.”
              Some small part of my mind wanted to resent the little girl. Presuming she really was from the surface, if she hadn't literally fallen into The Complex none of this would be happening. I would be in my barracks, snuggled under a warm blanket with my head cradled by a soft pillow. I would wake up in the morning to the smell of breakfast being cooked by my mother. I would head off to classes and I would enjoy spending time with Willow and Reese and my parents would go to work. Everyone I loved would be safe.
             
That's Mom talking.
             
I knew the life I just described was not the life I had ever wanted. I was never satisfied with the mundane future I knew I would be forced into. It would be easy to blame the child for turning our lives upside down and plunging us into a pit of fire, but I couldn't un-learn everything I now knew.
Earth was  habitable. We could live on the surface. We could breathe.
              Was there water? What did people eat? What about the sun, was there any truth to our planet being slowed on its axis? Was there nothing but eternal darkness above our heads right now, or would we get to experience sunlight after all? I wanted to know everything and I wanted to know it as soon as possible. The Order would make that happen, right? They would find a way to save my parents and Reese's parents and then we would break through to the surface and we would start over. Everything would be different. Everything would be perfect. Reese and I could be together forever. I would get to experience everything Grandpa Logan described to me.
              I couldn't hate the girl. When she stumbled into The Complex, she caused a ripple effect that could not be undone and I realized that I didn't want it to be. I wanted the life her appearance allowed us to glimpse, not the life I was going to be forced to live before she appeared.
              What about her family? Did she have parents? Were they worried sick about her? Were they looking for her? What was the great big world above really like? We were so limited here in The Complex when it came to where we were allowed to go. There were so few places to hide and there was nowhere to truly get lost. Earth on the other hand –
wow
. I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. There was an entire planet above my head that people could get lost on, perhaps never to be found again.
              After my parents were saved, I would help the girl find hers.
              “I need you to both swear to these terms. If you don’t, I’ll leave you here to fend for yourselves.” I pressed my lips together. Evon had not responded to my demand and I would not swear to anything until he did.
              “My parents – and Reese's. Will you help them?” More silence.
              “We will put forth every effort to retrieve your parents. But Ruby, you need to understand that we can’t promise that we’ll succeed. Their lives are very much in danger. All of our lives are. I
can
promise you that tonight, we’ll convene and come up with a plan to try. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
             
No.
             
I wanted Evon to say that he would definitely save my parents. I wanted him to guarantee me that by tomorrow night I would be able to hug them again and whatever now-unpredictable life challenges lay ahead of us, we would all be able to face them together.
              But I also knew Evon was right to be this honest with me. There was simply no way for him to guarantee a happily ever after. I closed my eyes briefly and took a deep breath. I allowed my shoulders to rise and then fall.
             
Remember, moment by moment.
             
“I understand,” I forced myself to say. The words barely made it past my tightened vocal cords and the resentment I felt, albeit irrational and unfair, was not something I could mask in my tone. If Evon noticed it, he didn't react.
              “And you?” Reese cleared his throat.
              “I understand, too.” Evon curtly nodded.
              “Then follow me. Stay as silent as you can. Walk light on your feet. Do not run unless I run. Do not stop unless I stop. Understand?” I nodded and swallowed past a lump in my throat.
              The man turned and walked toward the door. Reese and I followed him and he did not let go of my hand. I was more grateful than I could have ever expressed. I couldn't be strong on my own. I couldn't be brave on my own. Not yet, at least. I needed Reese. He needed me, too.
              I unintentionally held my breath as we tiptoed down the passageway. In a way, our surroundings were completely silent and in another sense, the noise was deafening. I was a mouse, picking up every tiny shift, every trickle in the old pipes that lined the walls, every time one of our collective six feet touched upon and then left the ground. Every tiny noise almost made me twitch as it pecked at my fear that we were being followed. I tried to keep an even pace with Reese and Evon but every few seconds I had to glance over my shoulder just to be completely sure that greedy, claw-like government hands were not about to curl around my arm and steal me away. I started imagining said claws brushing across the skin on the back of my shoulder or grazing across my elbow and I would jerk. My eyes would dart toward Reese to make sure he had a good grip on my hand. More glances behind me assured me visually that no one was there but my mind and body simply refused to believe it. Panic was fighting with my desperation to try and stay calm. My throat tightened again. My feet became springboards and every time one of them left the ground, the muscles in my calves would tense as if ready to let loose any second into a full-blown run.
              Finally after rounding yet another corner, Evon put out his hand and we slowed our walk before stopping altogether. He turned and glanced at us with a quick nod and stepped into another black shadow. We had no choice to but follow. Without the benefit of sight, Reese and I let the blackness cloak us and then stopped again to wait for further instruction. The consuming darkness only heightened my paranoia that we were being followed and I had to bite my inner cheek to fight the whimper that wanted to escape my mouth. My hand squeezed Reese's even tighter and I was fairly certain I was hurting him although he didn't try to pull away.
              Evon knocked on the door three times, then paused. He knocked three more times and paused again. After the last two knocks there was nothing any of us could do but wait. I rocked forward on the balls of my feet and held my breath.
              W
hat if they moved again while he waited for us what if they thought they weren't safe and decided to keep moving and not stay in one place what will we do how will we save our parents how will we even save ourselves?