Darker Than Midnight (40 page)

Mariah released Jax's hand and moved forward. She placed a rose on the coffin, then let her hand rest on the polished wood for a long moment. Finally she turned, and walked over to where Beth and Joshua stood with Bryan. She hugged the nineteen-year-old, and said, “Dawn isn't here?”

“She wasn't feeling well,” Bryan explained.

“Well, she's been through a lot. You tell her for me that she's helped me. And I'll always be grateful.” And then Mariah returned to Jax and River. “Frankie is going to drive me back to the house now. Half the town will be coming by with condolences and food. But you take your time, Cassie.” She glanced at River. “You'll take care of her, won't you?”

“You know I will.”

“Yes, I do. Remind me, later, River. Benjamin left a virtual tome of notes for you.”

“He did?” River seemed perplexed.

“Mmm. Well, he never really lost his love of surgery. Though he couldn't practice, he kept his finger on the pulse
of things. He'd been talking with a friend of his—Leonard Kreske.”

“The brain surgeon?” River asked.

“Oh, you've heard of him, then. Well, it seems Dr. Kreske thinks he can help you with those blackouts. Ben was so pleased, he couldn't wait to tell you, but then everything happened, and…well, he wanted you to talk to Leonard. Remind me later, I'll give you the number and the notes.”

River stood there, blinking in shock as he looked from Mariah to Jax and back again. Then he turned toward the coffin. “Thank you, Ben. I don't even…Thank you.”

Mariah nodded. “See you two in a little while then.”

“Bye, Mom.” Jax hugged her mom, then watched her mother hug River just as warmly. In the past three days she'd been leaning on River almost as much as Jax had.

When her mother and everyone else had gone, Jax went up to the coffin to say her private goodbyes. River gave her the space she wanted, without being asked. But she didn't doubt he would know if she needed him, and would be there before she had time to blink.

When she finished, she moved back toward him, and he was there waiting. He put an arm around her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Yeah. Amazingly, I am. I honestly believe my father really is at peace. And Mom seems to believe it, too.”

“She does.”

“River, before all this happened—I was asking my mother how…how I would recognize the real thing.”

“The real thing?” He led her to a bench under a giant oak tree and brushed away the snow for her. She sat beside him.

“You're getting a bit too comfortable with all this ‘taking care of the little woman' stuff.”

“You let me know when you get tired of it and I'll cut it
out,” he said. “But you're changing the subject. Are you chickening out on me?”

“When have you known me to chicken out of anything?”

“Never yet.” He took her hand in his. “So this real thing you asked your mom about—did you mean love?”

“Yeah. That's what I meant.”

She thought he tried not to tense up, or get nervous, but she felt him tense up and get nervous all the same. “And what did she say?” he asked.

“She said when I care more for someone else's well-being than my own, it would mean I loved them. And then she pointed out how much I risked by helping you.”

His lifted his head, met her eyes. “So I guess you must love me, then.”

“I guess I must. And since you damn near got yourself killed trying to get me out of that burning house, not to mention the frozen pond before that, I guess you must love me, too.”

He made a fist and pretended to knock on her head. “Hello? I've been telling you that for a couple of days now, haven't I?”

“I wasn't sure I believed it.”

“And now?”

She shrugged. “Before the D.A. decided this morning not to pursue any charges against you, I'd been trying to think about how my life would be without you, River. And I didn't much like it.”

He leaned closer and kissed her softly. “I'll stay with you forever, if you'll have me.”

“I think I'd like that a whole lot better.”

He searched her eyes, as if not quite sure what she was saying. “The town is going to turn the insurance money over to me, and return the deed to my house. We could rebuild.”

“We could,” she said. “I'm going to need a new officer at the Blackberry PD, once I send Kurt packing. Will you take the job?”

“I'll do anything you want me to, Cassandra.”

“I don't want you take it because I want you to,” she said. “I want you to take it because
you
want to.”

He got to his feet, pushed a hand through his hair. “I don't think you get it yet, do you?” He paced a few steps away. “When I met you, I was half-dead, mostly out of my mind, a fugitive without any hope, half convinced I'd murdered my own wife and unborn child. My God, Cassandra, do you know what you've given me?” He paced back to her, dropped to one knee and clasped her hands in his. “You gave me back my life.”

“Oh, I didn't give it back,” she said. “I'm claiming it for my own.”

“It's yours,” he told her, lifting her hands to his lips. “It's one hundred percent yours.”

She licked her own lips, tried to keep them from trembling. “It's scary, isn't it? This…this idea of committing long-term. That is what we're talking about, isn't it, River?”

“It's exactly what we're talking about. And it won't be scary if we do it together.”

“That's the only way I want to do anything from now on.”

“I never thought I'd hear you say that, Cassandra. Free spirit. The girl who can't be tied down.”

“It's you,” she told him. “It's you, River. No one else ever could have…But you—you're what's been missing. I never wanted to need anyone. But I need you and I'm not afraid of needing you, because I trust you, too.” She held his gaze steadily. “I never trusted anyone the way I trust you. No one—other than my dad, anyway.”

“I won't let you down, Cassandra. Not ever.”

“I know. I won't let you down, either.”

“So…does that mean…” He closed his eyes briefly, opened them again and met her eyes. “Will you marry me?”

She smiled through a rush of hot tears. “God, it's enough to make me queasy, the way I'm feeling. All hearts and flow
ers and romantic bullshit. Yeah, River. I'll marry you. White dress, tossing the bouquet, the whole sappy nine yards. And I'll love every minute of it.”

He gathered her close and kissed her, slowly and deeply. And she knew her days of being a solitary woman were long gone.

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