Darkest Longings (25 page)

whatever means she felt compelled to employ.

Still

in her dressing-gown and slippers, Claudine was sitting

on the sofa in her and Francois’ suite at the Lorvoire

chateau, listening in mounting disbelief to what her sister-in-law

was saying. Monique had welcomed her home the

night before with astonishing warmth, and then said she

would come to her apartment first thing in the morning

because she had something of the utmost importance to tell

her: but not even in her wildest imaginings had Claudine

guessed what it was.

‘… that’s why I’ve been so longing for you to come

home,’ Monique gushed, tightening her grip on Claudine’s

hands. ‘I know that’s selfish of me when you were on your

honeymoon, but you just don’t know how wonderful it is to

have a sister at last, someone I can confide in. I hope you

think of me in the same way. And you know Freddy so well!

It’ll help him, having you here, a familiar face, and he’s so

incredibly fond of you. I confess I was a little jealous at first,

but now… Oh Claudine, I’m so happy. Are you surprised?

No, don’t deny it, of course you are. Everyone will be when

we tell them, but what does the difference in our ages matter

when we love each other? There are twelve years between

you and Francois, and no one said a thing about that, did

they?’

‘Not about that, no,’ Claudine murmured. Then forcing a

smile, she said, ‘Have you set a date for the wedding yet?’

‘No, not yet. Perhaps it’s a little soon after yours to be

thinking about it this year. I’ve always been rather keen to

have a Spring wedding, what do you think? Spring next

year?’

‘I think it sounds ideal,’ Claudine answered, not knowing

what else she could say.

‘I’ll put it to Freddy later, I’m sure he’ll agree. He dotes

on me, Claudine, it’s quite touching to see.’

‘And what about you? Do you dote on him?’

Monique gave a squeal of laughter. ‘Of course! How can

anyone not dote on Freddy? He’s so romantic. He writes me

poems all the time. If you promise not to tell, I’ll show you they’re

so passionate I could almost blush when I read

them.’

‘How much longer is he staying at Montvisse?’ Claudine

asked. ‘I mean, isn’t Tante Ce”line returning to Paris soon?’

‘Oh, haven’t you heard? But of course you haven’t, how

could you? Celine has decided to stay on at Montvisse

indefinitely, and she’s told Freddy he’s welcome to stay for

as long as he likes. Naturally, I’ve invited him to Lorvoire,

but he says it might be a little difficult for him to be under the

same roof as me all the time. Isn’t he naughty, thinking

things like that?’

Claudine couldn’t help being glad that at that moment

there was a knock on the door and Louis appeared. ‘All right

to come in?’

‘Of course,’ Claudine smiled, standing up and holding

out her arms. ‘How are you? And how’s Solange?’

‘I couldn’t be better,’ he said, embracing her. ‘And

Solange is fine too. Last time I saw her she was doing

something drastic to her maid’s hair!’

Laughing, Claudine led him to the sofa. ‘I’m sorry I was

too tired to join you all for dinner last night,’ she said.

‘Oh, I quite understand, ma chere. It was a long journey,

and with the weather being so dismal in Biarritz … But as

you can see, it’s no better here. It hasn’t stopped raining for

three days.’

‘Claudine!’ a voice suddenly sang out. ‘Where are you, cherie?’ And then Solange bustled in, a scarf tied around her hair, her dressing-gown misbuttoned, and her hands

behind her back. As soon as she saw her mother-in-law’s

intent, childlike face Claudine felt a lump rise in her throat,

and she moved quickly to take her in her arms.

‘No! Wait!’ Solange cried. ‘I have something here for

you.’ And with a flourish she pulled a huge bunch of flowers

from behind her back. ‘Welcome home!’

‘Oh Solange!’ Before Claudine could stop them, tears

welled up in her eyes. ‘Solange,’ she said again, as she took

the flowers and put an arm about her shoulders. ‘I’ve missed

you.’

‘Not half as much as she’s missed you,’ Louis remarked.

‘Monique had to take her to Paris at the weekend before she

drove me insane.’

‘Don’t talk about me as if I weren’t here,’ Solange

retorted haughtily. ‘And I won’t remind you how many

times you telephoned me while I was there, because I lost

count. However, suffice it to say you were going insane without me.’

Looking at them, Claudine suddenly found herself

wondering how two such wonderful people could have

fathered a son like Francois. Quickly, before the tears came,

she said, ‘I’ll take the flowers in to Magaly,’ and giving

Solange another kiss, she vanished into her bedroom.

Her maid was in the bathroom, rearranging the Lalique

bottles on a shelf. ‘Can you see to these, Magaly?’

‘Of course, madame.’ Magaly gave her a searching look,

but with a small shake of her head Claudine disappeared

into her dressing-room. She wouldn’t cry any more, and

she wouldn’t talk about him any more either.

From a dressing-table drawer she took a handkerchief

and dabbed at her eyes. Magaly knew everything of course.

How could she not when she had spent those ten horrific

days in Biarritz with them? But she wouldn’t think about

that now, she would never think about it again. The tears

she had shed every time Francois left her bed had changed

nothing then, and tears would change nothing now. What

she needed to do now was to settle down to her new life at

the chateau and the fact that she was his wife, she told

herself forcefully, was not to be allowed to affect things in

any way. What passed between them at night took half an

hour or less, and providing she kept out of his way the rest of

the time, her life and her emotions were her own to govern.

‘Oh, Maman, do we have to?’ Monique was grumbling as

Claudine walked back into the sitting-room.

‘Have to what?’ Claudine asked brightly.

‘Maman has arranged for us to visit the de Voisins at

Montbazon this afternoon,’ Monique answered. ‘Couldn’t

we telephone and explain that Claudine has arrived, so we

can’t make it today?’

‘But they will want to see Claudine too!’ Solange cried.

‘I should imagine,’ Louis interrupted, ‘that Claudine is

eager to visit her aunt - alone he added forcefully, seeing

his wife’s eyes light up at the prospect of a visit to Celine. ‘So

I think it a very good idea that you take your mother to

Montbazon, Monique, then tonight we shall have dinner

here and invite Celine and Freddy to join us. How does that

sound?’

‘Dinner!’ Solange shrieked, leaping to her feet. ‘We are

having dinner here? Then I must go and talk to Arlette.’

‘Why doesn’t Claudine have a word with the cook?’ Louis

suggested.

‘Claudine! But she’s a guest!’

Louis shook his head, and Solange blinked. Then her

hands flew to her face and she gave a cry of joyous

comprehension. ‘And you, cherie,’ Louis continued, smiling,

‘can go and rescue poor Tilde from those newfangled

curlers you’ve bound her up in.’

‘Oh, Tilde! I’d quite forgotten about her!’ Solange

gasped. She started from the room, then turned back. ‘Oh,

Claudine,’ she said, ‘I have a message for you from

Francois. He telephoned last night, after you had gone to

bed. He says he will return in time for dinner this evening.’

She frowned. ‘Or did he say Lucien would be here for

dinner? I forget.’

‘Francois is coming this evening,’ Louis said, taking off

his spectacles and wiping them with his handkerchief.

‘Lucien will be here next week.’

Claudine’s heart had given a sickening lurch on hearing

that Francois would return so soon, but she was still smiling

as she said, ‘I’ve yet to learn what you all like to eat, so I’m

not sure I’m the one to talk to Arlette.’

‘Nonsense,’ Louis answered kindly. ‘Arlette knows anyway.

And you’ll be mistress of Lorvoire one day, so …’

‘Oh Papa!’ Monique exclaimed. ‘Claudine has only just

returned from her honeymoon, stop rushing her. I will talk to Arlette, and you must take your medication before Doctor Lebrun arrives …’

Monique didn’t stay long after her father had gone, and

to her relief Claudine was left alone for the remainder of the

morning. Feigning happiness with her own marriage was

one thing, and God knew how difficult that was, but having

to pretend to be happy for Monique and Freddy was, just for

the moment, beyond her. She was certain, knowing Freddy

as she did, that mere had been some terrible misunderstanding,

but until she spoke to him there was nothing to be

done.

Her Lagonda had been brought to Lorvoire while she

was in Biarritz, so that afternoon she drove herself over to

Montvisse through the pouring rain, the canvas roof firmly

in place and the windscreen-wipers creaking frenziedly

back and forth. She had done a great deal of thinking while

she was in Biarritz, and some of it had been about Tante

Celine and her father.

When she had returned to Montvisse on that terrible

morning of her flight from Poiters, she had already been in a

state of shock, and finding her father and Tante Celine in

bed together had been almost more than she could take.

Later that day, when she was a little calmer, the three of them had talked; Beavis and Tante Celine left her in no doubt that their relationship had begun long after

Antoinette’s death, and Claudine had assured them that she

understood and forgave them - not that there was really

anything to forgive. And she had forgiven her father; but

somehow it hadn’t seemed so easy to forgive Tante Celine,

and the last thing that happened before Francois dragged

her off to Biarritz was that she spent a hysterical few minutes

calling Tante Celine every bad name she could think of.

Her sense of shame at this had contributed to her

unhappiness in Biarritz, and what she wanted very much

now was to see her aunt and set things right… But Tante

Celine, Claudine was informed when she arrived at

Montvisse, had gone to the beauty salon at Tours and was

not expected back until about four o’clock.

Claudine’s heart sank. If Tante Celine had gone all the

way to Tours on a day when she knew her niece was coming,

it surely meant that she was avoiding her - or punishing her.

But she cheered up a little when she saw Freddy poke his head out of the library, and with a genuinely warm smile she ran into his arms.

‘Oh no, old thing, Celine isn’t avoiding you,’ Freddy

said, when she told him what was on her mind. ‘She

already had the appointment - she wasn’t expecting you

back until the end of the week, remember - and one told

her to go ahead because one was longing to have you to

oneself for a while.’

‘Was one indeed?’ Claudine said, with a sidelong glance

that set his cheeks on fire.

Grinning, she pulled off her gloves, unpinned her hat,

then threw them onto the bureau as she flopped into a chair. ‘Mon Dieu, it’s cold in here,’ she shivered, rubbing her hands as she leaned towards the newly lit fire. ‘It’s like

winter already.’

‘How does it feel to be back?’ he said. ‘Did you like

Biarritz?’

‘Biarritz was fine,’ she answered. ‘And how have you

found Touraine?’

‘Oh, fine.’

The flatness of his voice made her look up, and when she

saw the gloomy expression on his face she found it difficult

not to smile. ‘It’s all right, Freddy,’ she said, ‘Monique’s

already told me. So come on, out with it, what have you been

up to, you rogue? Or shall I call you a Casanova?’ she added

as she reached for his hand.

‘Please, don’t!’ he said in a pained voice. ‘Don’t! I have no

expression that you don’t particularly want to be?’

Miserably he shook his head.

‘Then you’d better start at the beginning. And don’t look

so worried, I’m sure we’ll find a solution.’

But by the time he had finished his tale of woe, she wasn’t

quite so sure. Of course, if Freddy were a little more like

Francois he wouldn’t have a problem, but being the

honourable gentleman he was, he was bound to feel obliged

to marry a girl if he so much as kissed her, never mind what

he had actually done with Monique. And Monique, of

course, had realized that. But instead of being angry with

Monique, Claudine was sorry for her. That she should feel

so desperate that she had to trick a young boy into marrying

her was heartrending.

‘What can one do, Clo?’ Freddy said, looking at her with

his limpid, puppy-like eyes. ‘Do you suppose one will have

to go through with it?’

Claudine shook her head. ‘I don’t know, darling. If I

thought it would help I would talk to Monique myself, but

‘Could you!’ he cried, squeezing her hands. ‘She’ll listen

to you, I know. She’s so terribly, terribly fond of you …’