Darkfall (6 page)

He swallowed hard.
Damn.
He’d backed his shit right into this one.

“You’ve met men in the SAS without a moral compass? Someone who slipped through the cracks?”

“Only one.” A shadow seemed to pass over him, and he shivered. He didn’t think he could tell her this story. This one was too unbelievable. “Hope I never meet another like him.”

“Tell me.”

Her command was a soft request he couldn’t ignore. He didn’t look at her, though. He didn’t think he could ever meet someone’s eyes and explain what had happened.

He took a moment and then plunged into the deep end. “Lance Corporal Ethan Brody was his name. A medic on our team. We were at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan and a part of a squadron out of Scotland. I’ve also been trained in what’s called mobility. We’re experts at using vehicles and desert warfare. We know an advanced level of motor mechanics and can repair shit in the field when it breaks down.”

She shifted on the bench and lowered her feet to the floor. “I remember. You looked at my piece of crap car once.”

Memories flooded back of when he’d recognized a simple problem with her old Dodge sedan three years ago. She’d acted like the sun and moon set on him because he’d fixed the wee issue. At the time his ego had soaked it up like the proverbial sponge.

“Doesn’t matter what I can do. The team came back to Bagram one day…just making our way through until we could rotate out to the UK. I was a sergeant at the time. Anyway, there was this Lance Corporal Brody. He was an excellent medic, and I admired his skill. I saw him treat wounded on more than one occasion. Until this one night. One night he did the most fucked-up thing, that to this day I can’t get it out of my head.”

He stopped, remembering the pain both physical and mental that had occurred because of that night.

“Ian?” her soft voice questioned.

He glanced up but didn’t meet her eyes for more than a second. “Sorry. Brody was young but not wild. He didn’t fuck around a lot or get into trouble. None of us really did, but he was particularly clean-cut and straight-laced. Everything spit-shined and as it should be with him. He called his parents as often as he could. But he was always cool.”

“Not friendly?”

“Not friendly but not unfriendly. He always seemed happy to do his work, but I felt like there was something…missing with him.”

“Missing?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how to explain it, and if I’d brought it up to the other men they would have thought I was mental. It bothered me that I couldn’t verbalize it.” He put one hand to his stomach. “It was gut instinct. When I looked at his eyes, it always creeped me out.” He rubbed his hands together, growing tenser as he told the story. “That night there was an attack on the base by insurgents while my team was eating at the dining hall. We were there with a few civilians and American troops in the mix.” He closed his eyes and remembered the scene. “I was eating this God-awful spaghetti. The sirens went crazy and everyone began to retreat to the bunkers. When we got to the bunker I realized Brody wasn’t with us. Everyone said he obviously went into another bunker. He hadn’t.” Damn, how did he describe what had happened next without throwing up? He closed his eyes and tried to settle his heart, which suddenly started to pound. “After the attack stopped, we went looking for him. We walked by this one area where we figured we might find him. He’d been interested in this American Army nurse. We thought maybe he’d be concerned about her and her quarters were close by. Her door was ajar.” Nausea rose in his stomach. He reached for the bottle of water he hadn’t yet finished and took a deep swallow. “We found her dead. Her throat cut.”

Penny gasped. “Oh, no.”

“Yeah. Brody was standing over her body. He had the knife and it was dripping blood. His eyes…he always had these cool gray eyes…there was no remorse in them. None at all. I understood right then what was missing. He wasn’t a human, at least not the type with empathy or a conscience.”

“A sociopath?”

He nodded. “Exactly.” Ian finished the bottle of water and stood. He found the recycle bin against one wall and pitched the bottle there from halfway across the room. The action interrupted the pictures that wanted to assault his mind, that wanted to make him sick to his stomach. When he returned to the seat he continued his story. “Brody wiped the knife on his thigh and shoved it back into its sheath. We were all quiet, just staring at what he’d done to this woman. I was so angry I was shaking and couldn’t say a damned thing. I wanted to take out my weapon and blow him away. Here was another woman brutalized by a man and I hadn’t done a fucking thing to stop it.”

He glanced at her again, and Penny’s face was pale with a type of shock and amazement at what he’d described.

“What happened next?” she asked, her voice soft.

“We could see the woman was dead. One of the other men called for help from the MPs while we all tried to figure out why the hell he’d done it. To say we were disgusted is an understatement.”

“I can imagine.”

“That’s not all. He asked us to help him cover up the murder.”

He saw the question on her face, the dawning horror he might have done exactly that. “You didn’t.”

“You know me better than that, I hope.” He couldn’t keep the disgust out of his voice.

She reached out and touched his forearm, and the sweetness of her touch served to soothe the beast in him that wanted to rage against what had happened to the woman at the hands of an SAS member.

“Of course I know you better than that. I’m sorry.”

His skin prickled and tingled as she kept her light grip on his forearm. He didn’t know if he could take any more of her softness and understanding. He didn’t like feeling this vulnerable with her.

Shrugging off the feeling, he proceeded with his story. “The other guys were talking to Brody and asking him why he did it and what happened. All Brody did was laugh. He wouldn’t tell us a damned thing. He didn’t try to attack us or get away, but I had my hand on my sidearm. If he’d made a move toward any of the team members I would have shot him. He didn’t beg us to help him cover it up, but he asked. Just once. We outright refused.” Ian’s muscles tensed as he continued. “When the military police got there and took him into custody it created a huge cluster fuck.”

“I’ll bet.” She released his arm. “An SAS member on a base who kills an American…there’s that complication first of all.”

He wanted to touch her and wished she hadn’t removed her gentle grip from his arm. “A diplomatic nightmare. A paperwork nightmare and a literal nightmare for the team. We got a lot of flak about not knowing he was planning to commit murder.”

“Individual team members got flak?”

“Yes. People interrogated us from every angle.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and stared at the floor. “Even if everyone and his brother didn’t grill us, there was suspicion from every quarter.”

“About what?”

“Some thought we all knew he was mental and didn’t turn him in to a shrink. A few people wanted us prosecuted as accessories to murder.” She sat straight up, and when he took in her shocked expression, he wanted to reassure her. “Thankfully cooler heads prevailed.”

“Thank God.”

“Didn’t matter in the long run, because her parents tried to make our lives hell for quite a while before they finally gave up and realized they couldn’t get any criminal or civil suits pinned on us. But they tried for over a year. In the end it sort of worked.”

“What do you mean?”

Her eyes were soft with worry, and he said, “Your father didn’t tell you any of this about me?”

“No. Nothing. All I knew was that you’d been in the Special Air Service and some of your specialties. Nothing else. What has that got to do with what you said a moment ago?”

“Nothing. Her parents and politics wore down the other men on the team. Eventually they returned to Scotland but they both started drinking heavily and left the military as quickly as they were able.”

“Let me guess…you left the military as quickly as you could, too?” she asked.

“Not for another two years, until my enlistment was up, but I think if that incident hadn’t happened, and the pressure that came after it hadn’t happened…I probably would have stayed and made a career out of the military.”

“But you’re such a strong man, Ian. You couldn’t have made it into the SAS if you weren’t. Why didn’t you stay?”

“The SAS doesn’t necessarily train you to shed guilt. I
did
know something was wrong with Brody, and maybe there was something I could have done to stop him from murdering that woman.”

“That’s crazy, Ian. Of course you couldn’t have done anything to prevent her murder.”

He turned toward her. “Why is it crazy?”

“You thought maybe he was a bit off, but that doesn’t mean you’d have any way of knowing he would murder someone. Talk about beating yourself up. Sounds to me like you have more than enough guilt on your shoulders. First you think you’re responsible for someone’s murder and now us being stuck in this bunker. That’s what’s crazy. You’re not responsible for either one.”

He wanted to believe her, and deep in his gut he wished he could agree. They fell silent for a short time before she asked, “My father knew about what happened in Afghanistan?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Obviously he knows a good soldier when he meets one. You’re not responsible for everyone and everything.”

Her acceptance was like honey on his soul, a balm that tried to repair the damage done to his ego and self-respect. Once more, quiet dropped around them, and part of him wanted to reach out and touch her. To take her in his arms and show Penny what her support meant. Because even if he felt ragged, weak, or out of control, this woman balanced his equilibrium like no one else.

After a moment she spoke again. “Did you ever…”

He felt her hard stare boring a hole into him.

He looked up and saw a sheen of tears in her eyes. “Kill someone?” he asked. “Maybe you don’t want to know that answer.”

She sighed in obvious exasperation. “Yes, I do.”

“You might hate me afterwards.” Maybe he hoped she would. Wouldn’t that make things easier?

“I could never hate you, Ian.”

Her soft words stirred feelings inside him he’d never experienced around another woman. Okay, she wanted honest, she’d get it.

“Yeah. I’ve killed more than one someone. Satisfied?”

She shook her head as she sat up straight. “I just wanted to know.”

“It was war.”

“I understand. I don’t judge you for it.”

Her quiet acceptance stunned him. A lot of women were either vastly turned on by the idea he’d killed, or that he
might
have killed. How sick was that? When his gaze tangled with Penny’s he felt a punch to the gut that spread outward into crazy arousal. He leaned closer and so did she.

Something hot and exciting stretched between them. Penny’s lips parted and Ian fixated there, wanting to taste her with a hunger that hardened his cock in an instant.

Before he could do something crazy like kiss her, he said, “We’re getting out of here.”

“What?” she asked.

“I’m going to get the lay of the land and make sure it’s safe to leave. If it is, we’ll jump in the SUV and get the hell out of here.”

“No.” Her voice was adamant.

“What do you mean no?”

“Just what I said. It’s too dangerous.”

“It might be, or it might not be. There’s no indication on the video feed that anyone is up there right now. I’m going to check out the area and make sure it’s safe.”

Right.
She didn’t look appeased. Instead she appeared ready to hit him over the head with something. So he’d changed direction in the conversation quickly from lust and sex to surviving a mob. He understood why she wanted to hit him. He’d always been damn good at segues and avoiding emotional turmoil.

“Ian MacDaniel, you’re avoiding the issues.”

Shit. Well, that segue didn’t work so well did it?

He stood and went to the table. Quickly he grabbed his vest and strapped it on, shoved his weapon into his holster. In seconds he was ready. “What issues?”

“Everything that’s right in front of us at this minute. What we feel at this moment.”

Yeah, babe. I’m avoiding it all.

“We’ll talk more after I get back. I’ll be gone maybe ten minutes, tops. If I’m gone longer than thirty minutes just stay here and don’t move. Call your father for backup and keep trying until you get through.”

Fear flashed over her face. She stood and went to him. She gently clasped his shoulder. “Ian, please don’t. It’s not safe.”

He cupped her face in one hand. “It’ll be all right.”

“Those guys have to still be out there.”

“We can’t wait here any longer. I’m not going to get dead and leave you alone here.”

He saw her fear morph to anger. “You can’t promise that.”

He cupped her face in both hands. “You just said I’m a tough bastard with an SAS background. Give me a little credit.” She chewed her bottom lip, and, man, he wanted to kiss that mouth. But if he had her taste once more he’d be distracted from the mission. “Remember, I said I’d take care of you.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Keep this door closed.”

She brushed one hand over his chest. “Please be careful. Come back to me.”

“Always.”

Without another word, he checked the video feed again. No sign of the people who’d rushed them or voices indicating anyone was up there. Ready to go, he left without another word. After he heard Penny lock the door behind him, he headed upstairs. His instincts told him to stay on guard. Combat mode was easy for him to switch on, but a niggling suspicion rose inside him and refused to let go. He couldn’t afford complacency because he knew something ugly lurked around the corner even if he didn’t have a damned clue what it was.

Penny waited five minutes. Ten. She kept checking the video feed, hoping Ian would soon return. Remorse started eating at her. She should have insisted on going with him. God, who was the coward?
She
was for letting him go alone. She paced the room, her stomach twisting in knots. Ian’s earlier admissions that he’d lay down his life for her and wanted her added to Penny’s turmoil. Knowing he cared that much gave her strength, but also brought her own emotions to full bloom.