Darkness Before Dawn (17 page)

Cole squeezes his eyes shut and I wish I didn't still have a bruise over my ribs. And that the stitches on my temple were fully healed and that my skin wasn't as pale as it is.

"Please look at me," I whisper fidgeting with my cotton shorts.

He takes a deep breath and re-opens his eyes, they train on my breasts for a second before he looks back into mine.

The corner of his mouth tilts. "I can't believe you weren't wearing a bra."

I smile back, thankful that he can see past the broken girl that I am. He dips his head and leans into me, taking my mouth in his, igniting the yearning I have for him deep within my core. I shift my body so that he can hover on top of me and grab on to the hem of his shirt, inching it above his stomach. Cole finishes pulling it over his head before taking my shorts off in one swift motion. I splay my hands over his chest and run them down his body, reveling in the way his stomach clenches in the places I touch, until I reach the band of his shorts.

He places his hands over mine and pauses them there, looking at me through heavily hooded eyes. "Baby, if we do this...we have to take it slow, okay?" he says huskily.

I nod my head vigorously, panting when he lowers his head to suck the spot below my ear.

"Slow," he whispers against my neck and I'm not sure if he's saying it as a reminder to himself or me.

"Slow," I repeat breathlessly when his fingers trail over my body stopping to trace my nipple and continue their way south stopping at my pelvis.

He kisses my temple softly, where my stitches are before continuing to rain soft kisses over my face. When he reaches my lips, he brushes them with his a couple of times. "I love you so much," he whispers before kissing me, his tongue slowly delving into my mouth and dancing against mine. "I missed you so much," he continues. "I was going crazy without you," he says as he kisses my jaw and down my neck. "I couldn't think without you." He places an open mouthed kiss between my breasts. "I couldn't sleep without you." He places a kiss in the middle of my abdomen. "I couldn't eat without you." He scoots lower, hovering over the apex of my thigh and places a kiss on either one. "I couldn't breathe without you." He tongue flicks against me, making me throb in want for him. "I didn't want to livet without you." He swipes his tongue again, making me moan and writhe against his mouth as my chest panting heavily. I close my eyes as his tongue continues it's sensual dance along my folds and he inches his hands up my body until they reach my breasts. My breathing is heavy, rapid, and I lose myself in pleasure, my core tightening and body bowing off the bed in abandonment when he sucks against me one last time and lets go with a pop. Opening my eyes slowly, I find Cole hovering over me with one arm on either side of me. He's just watching me, his lips parted and his eyes glistening as if in a trance. My gaze traces his body and I realize that he's naked and ready for me as he settles in between my legs. He dips his head, his lips sealing mine as he pushes himself into me slowly. I gasp at the feel of his tip entering me before he continues to stretch me, his sharp intake of breath matching my own. I bite down on my lip to keep from screaming out.

"Are you okay?" he croaks, backing away from my face to look at me.

I nod, still biting down on my lip. "Don't stop. Please," I beg in a whisper.

He shakes his head, his green eyes lidded and chest expanding as it rises. "I don't think I can," he whispers back.

My eyes are wide and on his as I nod, giving him permission to move inside of me. He lets out a breath and leans his body over mine, resting his elbows beside my face and ducks his head to kiss me. "I didn't want to live without you," he murmurs against me as he pivots his hips into me. "I couldn't bear to live without this again," he says, his eyes glistening as mine fill with tears. I put my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him into me.

"I didn't want to live without you either," I whisper back, tilting my hips to meet him.

"I can't lose you again," he replies, his hips moving enticingly slowly.

"You won't," I breathe.

"Promise me I won't," Cole husks picking up the pace.

"I promise," I gasp, arching my back and throwing my head back onto the pillow.

"I'm nothing." He thrusts deeply making me moan loudly. "Without you." He thrusts again, sucking a breath between his teeth. "I can't." He moans. "Live without you." He continues to press inside me and wash kisses over my jaw, my neck, before looking at me. Blood pumps through my veins and I moan once more as pleasure ripples through me from head to toe. Beads of sweat form above Cole's eyebrows, his eyes half closed and coated with a lustful glaze as he stills inside me, pouring himself into me and moaning out my name loudly.

"I love you. So much. So much," he growls as he fills me, never taking his eyes off of me, his pulsing pushing me over the edge again and making me clench around him.

"I love you too," I murmur against his lips when he lowers them to mine again.

He places his forehead on mine as we catch our breath, our bodies slick with exhaustion. We both let out a long breath and look at each other for a long silent moment, basking in the aftermath of our pleasure.

He caresses my cheek with his thumb as he shakes his head looking into my eyes. "I was empty without you, baby," he whispers.

I think about him going to work tomorrow and suddenly my chest begins to ache. The seriousness in his eyes makes me wish I never had to live without him, not even for a day, not even for an hour. And the more I think about it, the less I know if I can handle it. He pulls out of me slowly, slower when he sees me cringe, and lays beside me.

He shifts my body to face him and tilts my face to him, looking at me with concerned eyes. "What's wrong?" he coos.

"I don't think I can do it," I cry. "I don't think I can stay here without you."

"Shhh," he soothes, pulling my face to his chest. "We're going to be okay, baby. Everything's going to be okay."

The next morning, feather soft kisses all over my face wake me up. I stretch out my body and open my eyes and my smile falters when I see that Cole is already wearing a sharp charcoal business suit and tie. My stomach drops at the sight of him ready to go, despite my being the reason he's going back to work. I do want him to go, I just feel uneasy about being without him again so soon. I just got him back.

"You're leaving?" I groan.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "Yes, sleepyhead...and you're coming with me."

"I am?" I ask wide-eyed.

"You are," he replies with a crooked grin.

"Are you sure?" I ask, fidgeting my fingers, which he stills with his hand so that I look at him.

"I'm positive. Get up."

I do as I'm told and get ready as fast as I can before hopping to the kitchen on one foot as I put on my other shoe. I smile at Cole's broad back and watch him as he washes the dishes and hums along to whatever tune is playing in his head.

"Ready?" he asks, his back still facing me.

"Yes, sir," I reply sweetly while fluttering my eyes even though he can't see me.

He turns around with heated eyes that roam my body slowly. "I like that," he says before winking at me and walking toward me, handing me a brown paper bag and a cup of coffee. "Let's go, school girl," he adds with a laugh.

"School girl?" I ask, smiling as I look into the bag. "Oh this smells so good. Thank you."

"Bacon and egg wrap. I didn't have time to make you pancakes this morning."

I smile at his thoughtfulness. It's cute that he would apologize for not making me my favorite breakfast, even though he made me something anyway. He kisses the top of my head and grabs his jacket from the couch before escorting me out. Bruce and Spencer meet us outside the door and Cole informs them that we're going to a building downtown. We sit in the backseat of my car and let Bruce drive us since Cole is already running late to catch his flight.

"Did you get my ticket?" I ask, suddenly panicking.

He looks at his watch and exhales. "Yup. Got it while you showered. I hope we make the damn flight. I hate running late-" His voice fades off as he continues to ramble about being late and I stop paying attention.

"Who are you interviewing?" I ask as I wipe his eyebrow with my thumb. He gives me a crooked smile and I stop mid-wipe and scrunch my eyebrows in expectation.

"A pitcher from the Mets," he replies, his eyes sparkling in amusement. "Number twenty-three." My hand and mouth drop simultaneously and I can only stare at him as he bites down on his lip to stifle a laugh.

"No way! You're interviewing Jack Carter?" I squeal, fully turning in my seat to face him. "Like THE Jack Carter? Like Jack Effin' Carter?"

He laughs, pulling me close to him in the seat, but I back away with my hand on his chest and look at him expectantly.

"Yes,
'the'
Jack Carter," he says, air quoting as he rolls his eyes. "Are you going to go all groupie on him and shit? You know, now that I think about it, the only sports item you have in your closet is his jersey. Maybe I'll make you wait outside while I interview him."

I gasp, widening my eyes in disbelief. "You wouldn't! He's my favorite player ever! Besides, I have Gregory's jersey too!"

"Babe, you have Greg's jersey because it's him and he sent it to you as a gift! You're sitting here fucking drooling over Carter and we're not even in New York yet."

He shakes lint off the sleeve of his suit jacket and turns his head to face his window, looking away from me.

"Aww you're jealous! How cute," I say playfully as I laugh and take my seat belt off to sit on his lap, gaining his full attention again. "But you know you're the only guy I would ever drool over, right?" I kiss him on both cheeks and then on the lips.

"I better be," he growls as he bites down on my lip. When I shimmy out of his lap and back to my side of the seat, I smile widely at him.

"He does have a nice ass, though," I reply, trying to hold in my laughter.

He looks at me with a serious face for a couple of seconds before his lips break out in a grin. "Nice ass?" he asks, pursing his lips and nodding his head slowly. "All right, I'll remember where your eyes are the next time we're at a game and the cheerleaders stand in front of us to do their little routine."

"Not funny, jerk," I say, flashing him my middle finger, which makes him laugh loudly and lean in for a kiss before he wraps his arm around my shoulder and tucks me into his side. I sigh happily as I lean into the comfort of his hold, but my heart drops when we drive by the park and awful memories flood my mind. I feel him stiffen beside me and hug me a little tighter.

"I read your letter," I whisper. He backs away a little and lifts my chin to look at him.

"Which one?" he asks softly.

"The one you wrote after I broke up with you. How many were there?" I ask with a small laugh, hoping to lighten the mood a little.

"There were many letters," he says with a sad smile before kissing the top of my head.

"Well, I read that one. Aubry brought it-"

"We're here," Bruce interrupts as the car comes to a stop in front of the airport.

Cole searches my face before exhaling. "I meant every word that letter said, but it doesn't matter anymore. I have you now and neither of us is going anywhere. I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you always. You've always been it for me, Blake." He kisses my smiling lips before opening the door and pulling me out of the car with him. Photographers and journalists are waiting for us as soon as we step out of the car. They're all shouting questions about my disappearance and my kidnapper as Spencer shields us from them and Cole rushes me into the airport.

I leaf through a magazine while Cole gets our trip sorted out in the business lounge of the airline. When he comes back, he hands me our tickets, and I put down the magazine to make sure our seats are together.

"I think I got the window seat," I say with a smile, making him frown. Cole hates not sitting by the window.

"Nope, I doubt it," he replies as he scrolls through his phone and types.

"Umm...I'm pretty sure A is the window seat, just saying," I say still smiling.

"It doesn't really matter, Blake, you know I'm sitting there anyway," he quips.