Darkness & Light (War of the Fae: Book 3) (38 page)

Tim’s expression looked no better than mine.
 
He nodded his head furiously.
 
“Sure.
 
As soon as they grow back, they’re yours, Chase.
 
All yours.”
 
He kept nodding, now at me.
 
He looked as freaked out as I felt.

“Come on, sweet thing,” murmured Chase in a calming voice.
 
“We have to get moving.
 
Someone’s bound to come see what’s going on.
 
I don’t have a lot of time to get you to the door.”

“But you’re coming with us, aren’t you?” I pleaded, pitifully, even to my own ears – and I totally didn’t care.
 
This couldn’t be happening.
 
It was like losing another Tony.

He gave me a playful frown.
 
“No, silly.
 
I’m staying here.
 
This is my home now.”
 
He started walking briskly again, looking back to make sure I was following.
 
“But I want you to know if you ever change your mind, you can come be Dark Fae, here with me.
 
I’ll be your daemon again and things will go back to the way they were.”
 
He laughed really loud then and then coughed, almost as if he was trying to control his laughter with it.

The tears continued to flow down my face and I choked on sobs that rose up from deep inside my heart.
 
All I could think about was how I’d really fucked things up this time ...
big time
.
 
I’d hand-delivered my daemon – the toughest, most solid, dependable, loyal guy in the world, to the enemy.
 
The
pixelation
had messed him up, and obviously their treatment wasn’t worth a shit; I’d totally fallen for Goose’s line of bullshit.
 
And on top of all this, I’d handed over a vial of Tim’s pixie blood to the Dark
Fae which
the healers had warned me could be used in very dangerous witch spells.
 
The idea of Tim’s blood being used to conjure up weapons that could be used against my friends made me physically ill.
 
My head started to spin, making it necessary that I stop walking and hold onto the wall for support.
 

“Chase!” yelled Tim.
 
“She’s going down!”
 
He had a slight edge of panic to his voice, which probably stemmed from the fact that he was on my shoulder, and if I went down, he was going down with me.
 
Stupid pixie never seemed to remember that I was the only one who could ever hear him.

“Whoa, there,
Jaynie
-girl.
 
Just relax.
 
I’ve got ya.”
 
And that’s the last thing I remember – Chase picking me up in his big, thick, strong arms, the smell of his delicious body drifting up into my nose, the warmth of his embrace enveloping me, and for one moment, making me feel safe.
 

I lost consciousness and slipped like a worthless coward into the welcoming blackness.

I felt the warmth next to me and moved closer to it.
 
I didn’t want to wake up from this nightmare, especially now that the physical torture part was over and had been replaced with this ... comfortable whatever it was.

“She’s moving.”

“Are her eyes open?”

“No.”

I could hear the concerned voices of my friends.
 
I could tell from the familiar soft blankets under my fingertips that I was in my own bed in the Light Fae compound.
 
I was happy about that and wondering what this warmth next to me was.
 
It felt like a golden retriever or something – warm, soft, and heavy.
 
But I still didn’t want to face the reality that was surely waiting – my world, turned all upside down.

“Bring me over there.”

“Tim, maybe you should just let her sleep.”

Yeah, Tim, just let me sleep.
 
Somehow Tim had conned someone into getting close enough to him to be able to hear him and do his bidding.

“No, she’s faking.
 
I can tell.
 
Her eyelids moved.
 
Bring me over there so I can see her better.”

I heard footsteps moving from the dresser to my bed.
 
Soon enough there were little footfalls moving up my body towards my face.
 

Fucking pixie.

“Time to
wakey
,
wakey
,
Jayney
-poo,” said his annoying voice.
 
I felt a tiny tapping on my cheek.

“Go away,” I croaked.

“She
is
awake!” exclaimed Becky.

“
Foof
!
 
And she’s got the bad breath to prove it!” yelled Tim, making exaggerated gagging sounds.
 

Idiot.

“You can’t pull a fast one on Mr. Tim,” said Finn’s
deep south
voice.

I turned my head so it was facing where I thought Tim might be standing, breathing out as much as I could as I talked.
 
“Go away and leave me alone.
 
All of you.”
 
I didn’t want any of them there.
 
I wanted to be alone in my misery.

I felt Tim fall down on my chest and heard him continue his gagging act.

“No deal, babe.
 
You gotta get up.”
 
This was Spike, and now I knew
who
it was that was laying with me on the bed.

Someone took my hand and tugged on it a couple times.
 
“Come on, Jayne. Come back to us.”
 
It was Tony and he gave me just what I
didn’t
need to hear – his kind and patient voice, with no judgment in it.

I felt the tears coming again.
 
I flung my arm up over my face.
 
“Just leave me alone, would you?
 
Get out.”
 
I tried to yell it but I didn’t have the strength. Too much of my energy was focused on the sadness.

“We’re not going anywhere,” said Tim in one of his sassiest voices.
 
“Now get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
 
And brush your teeth, Jayne,
Dragonbreath
of Blackthorn.”

I waved my hand around where I thought he was standing, trying to brush him off of me.
 
“Get out of here, you pain in the ass,” I growled angrily.
 
It was on the tip of my tongue to blame him for Chase’s predicament, but I knew that wasn’t fair.
 
I clamped my mouth shut, just letting the tears flow down into my ears.
 
I hated crying lying down
;
it made my ears all squishy.

I cracked my eyes open and turned my head to the side.
 
I found myself about two inches away from Spike’s gorgeous face.
 
He cracked a sexy as hell grin at me, flashing me my favorite smile.
 
“Hi beautiful.”

It should have made me happy to hear that, but instead I started bawling.
 
It made me think of Chase saying it earlier.
 
I covered my face with both hands and struggled to turn over under my tight covers so I wouldn’t be facing Spike
anyore
.
 
I wished they would all get out of my room and leave me the hell alone.

“I know you want us to leave, Jayne, but we can’t,” said Tony.
 
“We need you to get up and talk to us.
 
There’s a lot of stuff happening right now.
 
You’ve been asleep for about eighteen hours.”

I barely heard what he was saying.
 
I tried to block it out so I could wallow in my despair.

“Let me give her a little kiss.
 
That’ll get her up,” said Spike, his smile still blazing in his voice.

“No!” said four voices all at once.

“Okay, okay, sheesh ... I’m just trying to help.”

As sad as I was, I couldn’t help but laugh a little inside at Spike’s attempts to get some
sexytime
in, under the guise of ‘helping’ me.
 

I felt Spike’s body weight leave the bed.
 
“Time to take serious measures in hand.”

“Spike, I’ll get Scrum if I
hafta
,” said Finn, a warning in his voice.

“He won’t hurt her,” said Tony, calmly, confidently.

I was still crying silently, but my gasps for air were fewer and less forceful.
 
I didn’t feel as though I was drowning in the darkness quite as much.

I felt Spike’s hands slide under my legs and back, lifting me from the bed.
 
My arms stayed at my sides.
 
“Don’t hate me for what I’m about to do, love.
 
I’m helping you.”
 
He leaned over and kissed my neck, inhaling strongly, giving me chills.
 
My cries dialed back even more, but I kept my eyes shut, my head resting against his chest.
 
I didn’t care what he did.

He walked.
 
I blocked out the sounds of those around us.
 
I heard some whispering and the drawing back of curtains.
 
What the?
 
And then the sound of water shooting out of the showerhead hit my eardrums.
 
Two more steps taken by my friend Spike and suddenly I
was
instantly awake.

“What the hell
?!
”
 
I started fighting him, trying to get away.
 
“Let me go!
 
Let me go!”
 
I was squirming and lashing out at him as hard as I could.
 
The water from the shower poured down over both of us, soaking through my clothes and spattering into my nose and mouth.

“I’ll let you go when you calm down!” yelled Spike, “Jayne, chill.”
 
He held on tight, doing nothing to protect himself from my violence.

“I’m not going to calm down!
 
Do you hear me!
 
I’m not!
 
I’m leaving!
 
I’m leaving here!”
 
My struggles mingled with my cries and slowly weakened.
 
I couldn’t do both at the same time.
 
I didn’t have the strength for it.
 
I gave up on the struggling and just sobbed instead.
 
“Do you hear me, Spike?” I said weakly,
 
“I’m leaving this fucking place.”

“
Shhhh
, I heard you, but I’m not buyin’ it.
 
Just relax.”
 
He dropped my legs, but held on to my shoulders, pulling me firmly against his chest and gripping me in a not unpleasant bear hug.
 

I put my arms up against his chest, meaning to push him away, but he held me tight.
 
He lifted one hand to pet my head, over and over while he murmured comforting words and sounds.
 
“
Shhhh
, everything’s going to be okay.
 
Just give it a little time.”

“Nothing’s going to be okay anymore.
 
Chase joined the Dark Fae.
 
Did you know that?”

“Yeah, we know.
 
Tim told us everything.”

I choked on a random sob.
 
“Then you know it’s my fault.
 
We lost Chase because of me.
 
He’s totally changed.”

“I don’t know that at all.
 
I know that he was doing what he wanted to do, namely taking care of you, and
he got accidentally zapped by a pixie
.
 
And you tried to help him and the Dark Fae got to him.
 
It’s no one’s fault that it happened, but theirs.”

“I did it,” I whispered.

“Jayne, babe.
 
You know I love ya.
 
And if you’d let me, I’d show you just how much.
 
But that doesn’t change the fact that looking at this objectively, it’s not your fault.
 
You do not control the fates, ... ” he chuckled almost to himself, “ ... just the elements.”

He continued to stroke me as the water poured over us.
 
My crying gradually dissipated in the face of reason.
 
I wanted to hold onto the pain, but my brain wouldn’t let me.
 
And my mad wouldn’t let me either.
 
I wanted to get back at those Dark Fae bastards – especially Ben.
 
If I couldn’t blame myself for this shit, then I was going to blame it all on him.
 
If he had left Tony alone, we wouldn’t be in any of this mess.
 
I didn’t care if it made sense to anyone else; it made sense to me, and now I had a nice big fat target for my anger.

Spike’s petting slowed down and he pulled away from me a little to look at my face.
 
I lifted up a hand to wipe my nose.
 
I’m sure this moment was one of the
ugliest
of all time for me.
 
It was hopeless, really, but the idea of standing here in the shower with Spike while snot dripped out of my nose ... was too much for me to manage.