Darkness Surrendered (Primal Heat Trilogy #3) (Order of the Blade) (18 page)

BOOK: Darkness Surrendered (Primal Heat Trilogy #3) (Order of the Blade)
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

When Elijah saw Ana’s eyes widen and her mouth drop open, he realized what he’d said. What he’d revealed. He threw back his head and swore as he felt his world drop out from under his feet, and knew he’d just doomed everything he cared about.

“Elijah.” Her hand went to his face, and her voice was full of empathy, not horror, not disgust, not fear. “What happened?”

There was no judgment on her face, no condemnation. Just the heartfelt empathy of the agony of what he must have endured. Elijah’s gut tightened, and suddenly he wanted to tell her everything. Every damn thing, because she was stuck with him and couldn’t walk away when she knew the truth...

Actually, she could. Yeah, the
sheva
bond was tight, but he had no doubt about Ana’s strength. If she wanted to ditch him, she could. The thought of her walking away from him sent a wave of vast emptiness spiraling through Elijah, a gaping sense of loss, raw panic that he would be without her.

He tightened his grip, desperate to hold onto her. Who was he kidding? He was the one who couldn’t walk away from her. She could leave him in the dust to rage in insanity and hell until someone from the Order came and put him out of his misery. She could ruin it all if she told anyone...

“I won’t tell anyone,” she said.

He swore again. “Stay out of my mind.”

Ana rolled her eyes at him in a charming display of endearing impatience. “If you don’t like having me there, stop broadcasting.”

“I’m not broadcasting—”

“What happened, Elijah?”

Forget this. He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t risk it. “Nothing.”

He strode away from her, an effect that was ruined when she held onto his wrist and followed him. But damned if he didn’t like the fact she was right there. Something about her touch, and her presence...he just liked it. The feel of her fingers wrapped lightly around his wrist was like this soothing comfort, this connection, this powerful statement that he wouldn’t be alone.

His throat tightened at the thought, remembering how many years he’d lay there, beaten and tortured, praying for a kind touch, for hands that didn’t hurt him, for a voice that didn’t poison his mind, for any kindness at all. He begged for anything to give him hope, to pull him back from that constant barrage of nightmares.

He looked down at his arm, at her delicate fingers gripping him. Her hands were so small, so gentle, and yet, they were so full of power, able to stave off the fragmentation of his mind with a simple touch. He turned his hand and entangled his fingers with hers, raising their clasped hands to his lips, pressing a kiss against each of her knuckles.
You are a gift.

She smiled, her silver eyes full of tenderness.
I know I’m not, but you make me feel treasured when you say that. Thank you. It feels beautiful.
Warmth flowed to him from Ana, touching deeply inside him. He could almost feel it knitting the wounds and scars that were so ingrained in the very recesses of his being.

Yes, granted, there was still that side of him lurking beneath the surface that recoiled from her, but that wasn’t the whole picture, and it didn’t define him. Truth was, he liked having her touching him, and he felt better when she did.

He knew then, that he wanted her to know the truth about him, every last detail. He wanted someone on this earth to know who he was, and to look at him without recrimination, and without judgment. There was such purity in Ana’s heart, such honesty in her soul, he wanted her to be the one who knew, as if she could somehow convince him he wasn’t the monster he knew he was.

But where to start?

Elijah slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her against him, needing the feel of her body against his. Ana wrapped her arms around his waist. Her breasts were nestled against his side, her breath warm against his throat, her heart beating gently against his ribs. Peace filled him. Contentment. Serenity. He felt his entire body relax, and his soul began to untwist itself ever so slightly.

She was his gift. Even if she ended up breaking him, Elijah knew that she would always be his treasure. A moment like this made all he’d been through worthwhile.

He ran his fingers through her hair as he stared out at the woods, trying to find his tongue. Trying to figure out what to tell her, and what to hide. But before he could, he needed to know where she stood. How deep was her commitment? “Why do you want Ezekiel dead?”

She gave him a knowing look. “Trading secrets for secrets?”

“Something like that.”

She nodded, relaxing into him. “My parents believed so strongly that Ezekiel shouldn’t be released, that they died to keep him in prison.”

Her sadness was still heavy, touching his own grief at the loss of Dante. Emotions swelled through him, and he fought to hold them down. “I’m sorry they died.”

“Frank wanted them to help free Ezekiel, and he wanted to use me to do it.” She didn’t look at him, but he felt the intensity of emotion in her voice. “They refused to let him have me or to help him, so they died trying to protect me from him and from a future they didn’t agree with.”

Elijah felt the weight of her guilt, and he tightened his arms around her. “It was their choice to protect you, sweetheart. You can’t blame yourself for their deaths.”

Ana ignored his comment, and he knew she wouldn’t let go of her perceived responsibility for her parents’ deaths. “I grew up without parents because they died for a cause, and now, if Ezekiel continues to go free, then it was all for nothing. Their legacy to me was a world without Ezekiel, and now it’s gone. They will never be at peace until he’s dead. I can give them that peace. I can make their sacrifice worthwhile.” Her hands clenched into delicate fists. “They were the only ones who loved me, and I will honor them.
I will
.”

His chest tightened for the determined courage in her small frame. “I’m sure Grace loves you—”

“Grace loves me as a sister, but she had her own issues she was fighting. My place was outside her world. We were on the run all the time as kids, and my illusions, my happy illusions, were the only place I belonged.”

Elijah began to rub her back, his soul aching for the pain in her voice, in her soul, because he could feel it reverberating all the way through him. She was wide open to him, and he could sense every single minute of loneliness and isolation she’d experienced during her life.

Ana looked at him then, her eyes full of such loneliness and pain he couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips to her forehead and tightening his embrace, offering her what little comfort he could. “I’m not being a martyr,” she said. “It’s the truth. My parents were the only people I ever felt like I really belonged with, and they died for a cause that I ruined.”

He frowned, sensing she was talking about something other than her childhood. “How did you ruin it?”

She took a tremulous breath, her silver eyes fastened on his. “I was in the pit with Frank, and I had chances to kill him, but I didn’t. I wanted answers, about you, about my parents, about whatever I was missing. I didn’t know what. I just knew he had answers, so I didn’t kill him. I gave him what he needed to free Ezekiel so I could get what I wanted.” Tears thickened her voice, and she lifted her chin, accepting responsibility. “The moment Ezekiel was free, I felt my parents’ spirits cry. I broke them and I owe them redemption. I owe them peace.” Her eyes flared with determination. “I
will
give them peace.”

He could feel her conviction and knew she was telling him the truth. He could feel her intense need to have Ezekiel dead. At all costs. His soul ached for her pain, but at the same time, intense relief flowed through him. Ana’s commitment was as strong as his was. She would not waver from her goal.

She cocked her head, searching his face. “And what about you? I know you’re not after Ezekiel simply because of the Order. Why is it personal to you? Does it have to do with killing your family?”

Ana saw the hesitation in his eyes, the flicker of wariness, and knew Elijah had something to hide. Something he considered worse than the killing of his own family. God, what could he possibly be hiding?

He shifted his weight restlessly and glanced out at the woods again, then finally back at her. “It’s—” His body went rigid suddenly, and he jerked his gaze back to the thick forest.

She froze. “Do you hear something?”

“No.” He studied a nearby tree, then walked over to it and brushed his fingers over a branch. He rubbed his fingers together then looked at them with a frown.

Keeping a tight grip on his other wrist, Ana stared at him, her adrenaline slowly kicking in. “Elijah?”

He held up his fingers, and she saw small burns on the tips of them. Not burns exactly. Dark marks, like his skin had been damaged.

She frowned and reached for the tree, but Elijah caught her hand. “You’re mortal until we’re fully bonded. Don’t touch it.”

“Mortal? We’re talking about my mortality right now?” She shivered and let him pull her hand back. “What’s wrong with the tree?”

Elijah cocked his head, tension rolling off him in palpable waves. “Not sure. How does the air feel?”

“The air?”

“Yeah.”

She lifted her face and breathed deeply, her heart starting to pound. “It smells fresh and wet. Like it was cleansed by all the rain.” That was good, right? What else was Elijah sensing?

“Does it feel heavy?”

Elijah’s tone was so tight, Ana stiffened and looked around again, expecting to see Ezekiel leap out of the woods and attack them. But there was nothing but the thick underbrush, the roar of the waterfall, and the black SUV pulled up at the side of the road.

She looked at Elijah’s tense face again and realized she was missing something that he’d noticed. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on the feeling of the air. It was fresh and clean on her cheeks, damp in her hair...and then she felt it. A whisper of heavy air across her cheeks, so slight and faint she wouldn’t have noticed it if she weren’t paying attention.

Ana’s eyes snapped open. “I felt a pulse of pressure. Like the air became solid against my skin for a split second. It almost felt like someone was touching me.” She frowned and rubbed her finger over her cheek. “I still feel it. It’s like my skin is dirty now. Tainted.”

There was a flicker of surprise in his eyes. “
That’s
what you felt?”

Fear rippled through Ana. “That’s not what you meant?”

Elijah frowned and tightened his grip on her. “No, it’s not. I was just talking about the air feeling thick. Not actually
touching
you.” He tucked his hand under her arm and pulled her close, searching the air around them.

“You didn’t feel the pressure on your skin?” She could feel his urgency, the sharp awareness knifing through him. He was a warrior in the midst of battle, at full alert.

“Oh, I did.” Elijah swore under his breath and pulled her tighter against him, continuing to scan his surroundings. “Have you ever felt that before?”

“Not that I know of. Why? What is it?” But she had a bad feeling she knew.

“Ezekiel. He can poison nature with his touch and his mere presence. Trees dying, the air turning to acid.”

She stumbled and he caught her before she hit the ground. “He’s
here
?”

“I don’t know.”

“What? You just said it was Ezekiel.” She couldn’t keep the panic out of her voice. “Is he here or not?” She wanted him dead, but the prospect of facing him before they had a plan suddenly seemed like a really, really bad idea. If she died before avenging her parents’ death— No. She wasn’t going to fail.
She wasn’t.

“Okay, Ana.” Elijah started guiding her back toward the truck, still keeping her locked down in the shield of his body. “Here’s my little secret. When I go to the prison, I can sense Ezekiel. I can feel him in my mind, and I know he senses me. We’re connected in a big way.”

“Because you’re related to him?”

“I assume so. But now I’m afraid that because you’re partially bonded to me, he has the same connection to you, and I have to warn you—” He stopped at the side of the road, his body tensing even more.

“Warn me—” Her voice squeaked, and she cleared her throat to try again. “Warn me about
what
?”

Shh.

She froze, holding her breath.
Warn me about what?
Her pulse was pounding so hard it was like the roar of the ocean in her ears, overwhelming everything else.

Elijah called out his throwing star with a loud crack and a flash of black light, spinning to the right so fast she didn’t even see him move. He swore softly, searching the woods.

I don’t see anything
. Her fingers were digging into Elijah’s arm so hard she knew she was leaving marks, but she didn’t care. The air was feeling even heavier now, and the earth felt crusty under her feet. Her imagination or reality?
What do you see?

Nothing. But I can hear a heartbeat.

Her breath stuck in her throat.
His?

I think so.

How can you tell?

Elijah glanced briefly at her.
You don’t want to know.

She didn’t want to know? What kind of response was that? Ana shoved him.
Don’t make statements like that in situations like this! You’re freaking me out! What aren’t you telling me?

Elijah cocked his head and turned left slowly.
I can smell sweat. His, I’m pretty certain.
He held up his throwing star and aimed it at an empty patch of air.
Right there.

She stared at the air, her heart pounding.
I don’t see anyone.

I don’t either.

He’s invisible?
Oh, God. How were they supposed to beat Ezekiel if he was invisible?

Not invisible.
Elijah slowly turned them around, his throwing star held at the ready. The air was humming from his senses reaching out for sights, sounds and scents that would tell him what was going on.
It means he can throw off his vitals so your senses think he’s in one place, but he’s actually in another. It makes it difficult to get a read on where he is. He’s here. He’s just not where I think he is.
He searched the tree tops, his gaze sweeping across the forest canopy with sharp vigilance.

Ana’s heart was racing frantically as she followed his gaze, the branches dead silent in the heavy air.
That’s not good he can do that, is it?

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