DarkStar Running (Living on the Run Book 2) (17 page)

Pasto John Bauer peeked into the bridge.

Lilia pulled back from Stan’s embrace, turning away to wipe
moisture from her cheeks.

Stan beckoned. “Come in, John.”

John hesitated before stepping through the threshold. “Look,
I can come back later.”

“No, come in. You need something?”

“Just to report that everyone’s settled in. The next few
weeks will be rough, but I think our passengers will handle camping in the
cargo bay well enough.” John stepped fully into the room. “Are you okay, Lilia?”

She turned, forced a smile, and with a quick jerk of the
head, beckoned to him. “Just a little too close to home, John. This place has
brought back old memories, and I just let hormones get the better of me. I
suppose I’m just being silly.”

“To rescue the Barretts, you not only fought against the
hormones of your pregnancy but against a strong natural urge to protect the
baby as well. At any moment you could make Stan a two-time daddy, and yet you
succeeded in the rescue.” John came closer to pat her shoulder. “It was risky
going out as you did, Lilia. You were very brave.”

“She was foolish,” Stan scolded, but Lilia ignored the
comment.

“Would you join us at Captain’s mess, John?” she said,
changing the subject.

“
DarkStar’s
cooking? Sure, Lilia, I’m always up for—”

“Tonight, supper is on me, John.
DarkStar
will be
serving our passengers.”

“Sounds even better. I love your cooking, Lilia.” Trying to
reserve his true reasons for being there, John took the second’s seat, but
turned to face his hosts.

“Three hundred souls rescued this day.”

Stan took the pilot’s seat and turned toward the Shepherd.
“I’m sorry, John. I wish we could have done more.”

John shrugged and shook his head once. “From the start, Stan,
I knew we couldn’t save everyone. But, with
Dangerous Haul’s
help, we
did better than I thought. Neither of you, nor Peter Coalfire, should think
otherwise.”

“Enforcers were everywhere. Still, I hate to think we left
anyone behind.”

“Those that couldn’t make it to the ship were instructed to
go to the underground churches in Hastings and Baldwin. From there they’ll be
funneled to the outlying villages. The Immortal Architect is with them. Believe
that.”

Lilia took a seat next to John to hold his hand. “I barely
made it away with the Barretts. I had to leave—”

“Clara and Sam Oberly. Yeah, I know. You didn’t really have
a choice.” John wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t want
to think about it, but I knew Sam would want to stay. The old geezer ached to
save souls, he and Clara both. Their second wish was to go quickly when their
time came. They were ready. Chuck Henderson was the same way. I doubt his Bible
being found was an accident.”

Lilia studied John’s face.

John shot a quick, questioning look at Stan before turning
back to her. “Look, there’s something else I need to discuss with you two.”

Attentive, Stan leaned forward. “Come on, buddy, we’re
listening.”

John mindlessly stared at nothing to collect his thoughts.
“I’ve known you two for, what has been, five years now?”

“Yeah?” Stan said. “Is there a problem?”

John pulled a picture from his pocket, considered it, and
then handed it to Lilia.

“Hmm, a photo of us, Stan. A wedding picture.” She handed it
to her husband.

Staring at the photo, Stan got to his feet. “What’re you
saying, John? You weren’t legally able to marry us? All this time, Lilia and
I—”

“No, no, no, nothing like that.” John stood and tapped the
picture. “Look at it, will you? Neither of you have aged a day in five years.”

With a blank expression, Stan raised his eyes from the
picture to John. “You’ve
got
to be kidding.”

John felt his brow tighten. Maybe Stan was right. Maybe John
was just being silly. Five years doesn’t age a soul much, but Stan was now
thirty and Lilia twenty-six. No. No, each should look his or her age but
neither did; neither came close.

He tapped the picture again. “What will people say in five . . .
ten years down the road when your youth becomes too obvious to hide? How will
you respond then?”

Wearing a salient smile, Stan shoved the picture back into
John’s hand. “You know . . . I wonder what Ericca is up to? Seems
high time I checked on my little girl.” Stan called for the door. It opened,
and saying no more, he headed out to Ericca’s room.

John called out, but his words came too late. Stan was gone.
The door closed leaving nothing behind but a smooth, bare wall. John stared at
it for a brief moment before giving Lilia his attention. “Why the secrecy?”

“John,” Lilia said, her tone elevated. “I wanted to talk to
you about Jake Barrett. I know he’s only fifteen, but I’d like to recommend him
to the Paladin Academy. Do you think his parents would—”

“What are you two hiding, Lilia?”

“Hiding?” Lilia knit her brow as if John’s suspicions were a
non-issue. “John, can I speak to you about Jacob for a moment?”

“I’ll speak to his folks, Lilia. Okay? But why are you two
being so . . . so . . . evasive? Sometimes trying to get an
answer from either of you is exasperating!” He threw up his hands and turned
away.

He heard Lilia turn her chair behind him. “I suppose you
want the whole story then? Very well, if you insist.
DarkStar
, to the
bridge, please.”

Appearing from nowhere the ship’s avatar moved to Lilia’s
side, looking almost as human as anyone, but somehow less so . . . or
more
so . . . depending on one’s tastes. With her fair
features, perfect skin, and golden hair, the holographic humanoid was beyond
beautiful.

“Yes, Captain Archer?” DarkStar’s voice was soft, feminine,
and almost musical.

John shook himself. Despite his best efforts to appear
unimpressed, the avatar always stole his breath away.

Without taking her eyes off John, Lilia spoke to DarkStar. “Shepherd
John would like to know our story. Could you take a moment to catch him up?”

“As you wish, Captain Archer. What time frame do you want me
to project?”

“Start with our escape from Atheron and end where we find Shepherd
Bauer adrift.”

“Aye, Captain.” DarkStar turned to face John. “Ready?” She
reached to touch his forehead but John held her hand at bay.

“Is this going to hurt?” he said.

“Shepherd, you should be careful for what you ask.” DarkStar
smiled and pushed past his hand to touch his brow.

At once the tavern flashed through John’s mind, instantly
seeing Lilia through Stan’s eyes and him through hers as their emotions
regarding each other clashed in a tumultuous mix of hate, rage, adulation and . . .
secret desire.

Images, sensations, fragrances, emotions, and
thoughts—disjointed and mixed—covering months overpowered him.

John Bauer reared away from
DarkStar’s
hand,
staggered back, and stumbled into a chair.

Cocking her head, DarkStar regarded him with concern as she
lowered her hand.

“The images may confuse you, Shepherd Bauer, until your mind
sorts through them, but I think you’ll adjust.”

He shook his head. “Easy for you to say! My head’s a
scrambled mess. What was that?”

“You have the memories of Captains Stan and Lilia, as well
as mine from the time starting at the Tavern, to your rescue from the life pod.
I also gave you a portion of Carlton Ogier’s memories so that you would fully
understand the Archers’ circumstances.”

DarkStar turned toward Lilia. “Will that be all, ma’am?”

Lilia nodded but said nothing.

DarkStar vanished.

Awkward with the baby, Lilia struggled to get up from the
Captain’s chair.

“John, I trust you’ll keep our secrets?”

He nodded. “Yeah, once I understand them, sure. How long did
this process take? How long was I out?”

“Only a moment. DarkStar had just touched you.”

John shook himself. “I’ve got days . . . no, weeks
of memories of you three . . . and a headache to match.”

“Us four, John,” Lilia clarified. “You forget DarkStar.”

John
feigned
a smile. “I
hardly consider DarkStar a person.”

Lilia raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Wasn’t DarkStar the
first person you responded to after we rescued you? Thought you saw an angel,
you said.”

“Yeah, well . . . I was deprived of oxygen. Makes
a man see things that aren’t really there.”

“Come on now. Ever since you discovered she was our ship’s
projected personality you’ve treated her poorly.”

“I just hate being fooled, Lilia.” John remembered the first
time he saw DarkStar’s angelic face. Her eyes, a profound sapphire blue,
although filled with concern, had an unnatural shimmer in them. She had gently
brushed away errant hair from his forehead, and said, “You’re safe now. I’ll
keep you safe.”

“When I discovered she wasn’t heaven sent, it kind of took
the wind from my sails, you know? I thought at seeing her, the Immortal Architect
would soon follow. Oh, well.”

“So
DarkStar
, her avatar anyway, makes you long for
your eternal reward?”

“I beg your pardon?” John said. “Oh, no, no.” he said as he
caught her meaning. “I’m not thinking about leaving yet. I just felt cheated by
your machine, is all.”

“Oh, stop. You’re fooling no one, John. From the start, we
knew you didn’t know what to make of her. You’re a good man, but you can’t
expect to hide your unease by treating our companion with so little respect.
You just need to come to grips with what you feel about her. And for goodness
sake, treat her like the good person she is.”

“I meant no offence—”

Lilia chuckled. “Yes, you did.”

“Yes, I did.” John diverted his eyes. “I guess I was just
pushing back against my confusion. In the back of my head I probably still see
her as an angel, and so, to fight that . . .”

“She’s not an angel, John. When you finally admit that the
holographic representation of our ship touched some deep pocket in your
emotions, your attitude will change. You need to lighten up.”

“Was I
that
transparent?”

Lilia’s smile said she believed so.

“I’m sorry for my uncalled-for rudeness,
DarkStar
. I
apologize. Will you forgive me?”

The avatar appeared, considered John briefly, and then
stepped forward to hug him.

Still awkward and unsure of himself, John held her ineptly
and then pulled back, glancing about in an effort to hide his renewed unease.

The avatar smiled. “Your apology is accepted, Shepherd
Bauer. And now that
that
is out of the way, sir, perhaps you can focus
your thoughts on Captain Stan?” And with that, she once again vanished.

John shut his eyes and gave a deep sigh. “These memories . . .
I see now what Stan has been through. Always in the back of his mind, the
Princess
stands as a wall Stan can’t see a way past. To him, it symbolizes his entire
past. He desperately needs to get beyond it and put it behind him once and for
all.”

He rubbed his brow. The painful throb of the massive
information download was nonstop.

“John, what you see in your mind’s eye, and the emotions you
feel, belong to the Stan of five years ago. The anguish you sense is even worse
for him today. I sleep with the man, and I can tell you there are nights when
he awakens in sweat and tears. I feel so helpless.”

John met her gaze with understanding.
DarkStar’s
memory download was starting to arrange itself in a coherent manner. The pain Stan
bore was only now starting to make sense.

“For both of you; Coalfire’s gene modification has brought
you back to a pre-Noah state of being, hasn’t it?”

“Coalfire? Man, I haven’t heard that name in a while.”

“I wonder if Coalfire knew what he was putting you two
through. This one hundred twenty year cap the Immortal Architect has placed on
man’s lifespan no longer applies to you, does it?”

“No, John. It doesn’t.” Lilia’s answer was matter-of-fact.
There was simply no other way to put it. “But to clarify, they weren’t Coalfire’s
doing. Check your newfound memories. This was God, plain and simple.”

“Yes. Back to what I was saying. So, not only does Stan’s
guilt grow, but knowing he has an extended lifespan makes it even worse for
him, doesn’t it?”

Although Lilia held her posture straight and noble, and
despite her self-confident smile, a single tear trailing down her cheek
betrayed her distress. Stan’s pain was her pain, and its intensity was no
longer hidden from John. The two sat in silence for a long moment.

“John,” Wanting to get this right, Lilia hesitated to
collect her thoughts. “. . . on the day we first found your
life-pod adrift and brought you aboard, we left you in the infirmary to
recover. You rewarded Carl’s soon to follow visit with a prayer of healing.”

“Yeah?”

“Could that happen again?” Lilia turned away and paced two
steps to choose her words carefully and then turned back to him. “Now that you
understand Stan’s anguish, can you pray for him as you did for Carl?”

John stood, came to her, and gathered her hands in his. “I
wish it were that simple, Lilia. I really do. But the root of Stan’s torment is
his unbelief in the One. Undying Love has forgiven him, but until he receives
it and believes it’s true, he’ll carry his anguish always.”

John now knew that from the beginning of the genetic
transfer Lilia understood and felt Stan’s remorse, but she also grasped what Stan
had failed to realize about himself; that the Immortal had forgiven him.

John understood the depth to which she was drawn to Stan. A
nurturer by nature, coupled with what Lilia had learned of Stan, to see his
heart healed was what she longed for. He was her man, her husband, her lover, . . .
and she believed there was nothing she could do.