DarykRogue (23 page)

He cleared his throat, and when he spoke, it issued as a
rusty, misused sound. “I was born near Felican Castle near the border of the
Ithaycan desert and the Tarrian jungle. We’re sailing to that region now.”

During their tempestuous lovemaking, she’d missed the fact
they’d left shore.

Before she could comment, Rayder said, “Since we’ve lost a
sale to Drakus, there is another trader near Felican Castle who may buy women.”

She winced as she thought of the women belowdecks still in danger.
“Drakus isn’t the only one?”

His scoffing sound answered her. “More and more men are
succumbing to the belief that stealing Magonian women is the only solution to
save our people. Most of them don’t care about Dragonia. They want money and
they thrive on terror and hatred.”

Her stomach tumbled, roiled at his words. “The danger is far
worse than I believed.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry. You were trying to tell
me your story.”

He turned toward her and continued. “My parents were
exceptional people, as I mentioned to you before. My sister was three years
younger than I. She was a brilliant fighter. Though Daryk One traits usually
only occur in one child in a family, it was clear my sister displayed the
tendencies.” He turned to glance at her. “And her inclinations were not
welcomed by most.”

“I don’t understand.”

He wiped one hand over his face, as if he didn’t want to
explain, but knew she’d pester him until he did. “My sister was at least as
tall as I am, and that isn’t normal for a Dragonian woman. Right away she
distinguished herself with fighting skills. She could even kill dragons. No
woman in recent history has ever done that. I was proud of her, and even my
parents were proud.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“It was terrible.”

He waited, staring at her as understanding glimmered on the
surface.

“But her abilities were remarkable,” she said.

“She was capable of everything a Daryk One can do.”

Understanding made it through. “That would be a death
sentence on Magonia.” Shock held her motionless. “Are women killed for having
the skills of a Daryk One?”

“No. Never. But because it is so rare, few women who have
the skills are ever mated and married. Very few men wish to mate with a woman
as strong and skilled as they are.”

Indignation made her say, “So Dragonian men aren’t as
different than Magonian as you say.”

His thick lashes masked his gaze as he looked down at the
bed. “All men have commonalities. Even the ones who think they are advanced.
Dragonians are not a perfect people.” He waited, as if he expected her to
argue. When she didn’t, he proceeded. “When Aknada realized her skills cast her
from most societal norms, she became depressed. I spent time with her, trying
to get her to understand it wasn’t a problem and her family supported her. I
told her I would take care of her.” He rubbed his temples as if they ached.
“She accused me of wanting her to be as delicate and feminine as other women.”

An ugly suspicion took hold. “Did you? Want her to be like
other women?”

He pushed out a loud breath and dared look her straight in
the eyes. “Yes.”

She didn’t know how she felt about that. “Why?”

“I didn’t want to suppress her. I knew how she’d be treated,
and I didn’t want her to suffer. I believed she’d never find a mate.”

Xandra stood, her heart aching before she knew what the end
of his tale would reveal. She felt it in the air. “But something bad did
happen.”

“She tried complying to societal norms. She dressed like a
woman. Yet I saw that she was hurting trying to be something she was not.
Eventually she found a man she seemed to like. She seemed genuinely happy, and
I was certain they’d have a long life together.”

“A Daryk One?”

“An ordinary blacksmith. They were in love…at least that’s
what she told me.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what love is like, so I only had
what they told me to go on.”

She frowned deeply at his words. “You don’t believe in
love?”

He shrugged, face impassive. “Not as so many poets describe
it.”

Discomfort made her move past the subject. “Did Aknada write
poetry to become more feminine?”

“No. She wrote poetry from the time she was a child.”

“I see. What happened then?”

“Three years ago she was in the Ithaycan desert with her
betrothed near the market. Bandits raided. She tried to defend her betrothed,
but he stepped in front of a sword and was killed.”

She covered her mouth with one hand. “How awful.”

“She blamed me for his death.”

“Why?”

“The bandits had tried to steal from legitimate business
owners for some time. When they discovered that I was leading a pack of Daryk
Ones to keep Felican Castle safe, they attacked my sister. She felt if I hadn’t
antagonized the bandits, there wouldn’t have been an attack.” He sighed. “That
isn’t all. I took her back to Felican Castle after her betrothed’s death. In
the night, the bandits attacked again. We fought hard, but he had superior
numbers, rogue Daryk Ones. He stole my sister and many other women. I never saw
her again. There were rumors that she was sold to another slaver.” His voice
roughened. “A month later I heard that she was thrown off a slave ship and
drowned.”

Eyes prickling with tears, she reached for him. She didn’t
know what to say, felt the words backing up in her throat as she ached to
express her sorrow for what he’d experienced.

Her palm soothed his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t move. His face a study in remembered sorrow and
returning memories. “I’d tried to find her many times before that. When I heard
she’d been killed…”

“You felt guilty.”

“Yes.”

She cupped his face in her palms. “Was the slave trader who
took her Aramus?”

“You are too perceptive. I vowed to hunt the man down.”

“Yet you haven’t killed him?”

“Because I wanted to make his life a living hell. To work my
way so far inside his life he wouldn’t know when the betrayal came. He doesn’t
know who I am, Xandra. He doesn’t know what I have planned for him.”

Fear slid like a cold, heavy hand over her body. “Dare I ask
what you have planned? If it isn’t death, what could you do to him?”

His eyes glittered. “Take his entire empire and steal his
wealth. Free his slaves. Make him suffer for throwing my sister off this ship.”

She understood, perhaps more than he knew. “Are you certain
that’s all?”

He clasped her wrists gently and eased her hands from his
face. Gathering her hands in his, he kissed her fingers. “What else could there
be?”

“Your guilt. Perhaps you’re not just taking revenge. Perhaps
you mean to punish yourself.”

His eyes clouded and he dropped his hands. “Maybe.”

She wondered if she could say or do anything to make him
realize he didn’t deserve self-punishment for his sister’s death. Then she
recalled the guilt she still felt on a daily basis for what she’d done to her
family.

He drew her against him and looped his arms around her
waist. “Now you know why I’m here. Why were you on the ship with your husband?
A man you didn’t love?”

“My family was…” How could she explain it? But she had to,
if only to make him see she could relate to his anguish. “I mentioned before
that my parents were more liberal with their acceptance of individuality and
sensual matters than the average Magonians. Still, if they saw me doing this
I’m sure they’d be scandalized.”

He chuckled. “Praise Draconus they aren’t here to see us
then.”

She smiled sadly. “My father wasn’t as liberal when it came
to his beliefs about a woman’s purpose. He still believed a woman should marry,
stay at home and take care of a family. He decided I would marry another miner,
Taris Elian.” She smoothed her hands over his shoulders aware that his strength
gave her courage to continue the tale. “I protested that I didn’t love Taris.
In fact, I knew Taris was a liar and hateful. Father didn’t see it that way. He
told me I could tolerate all of that because Taris has a great deal of
triand
.
I didn’t have any choice in the matter. At least I couldn’t think of a way to
escape the actual marriage.”

“You accepted his proposal?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “You do not know how much I grew to
regret that decision.”

Rayder’s eyes narrowed. “If your father loved you, how could
he force you to marry?”

“Father did love me, but he also believed marrying me to
Taris was looking after my well-being. Taris made advances toward me. I fended
them off, telling him I wouldn’t have sexual congress outside the bonds of
marriage.”

Rayder’s palms soothed over her back. “Thank Draconus you
were able to persuade him.”

“The only reason he relented is because I told my father
what he was trying to do. Father told him he’d call off the engagement if Taris
continued.”

“A nod to your father’s good sense.”

“Perhaps not. It was my decision not to give in to Taris’
desires that killed my family. And something else I did.” Deep within Xandra a
shaking started. Old fear and uncertainty haunted her as she forced words past
her throat. “When Taris and I married…on our wedding night he tried to…”

Rayder’s eyes were grim. “What did he do?”

“He forced me down on the bed, climbed on top of me. But he
couldn’t. He couldn’t thrust inside me because his manhood shriveled. That’s
why I was still a virgin when you met me. Taris then he hit me and gave me a
black eye.”

Pure seething anger filled Rayder. “Bastard. That fucking
bastard dared to hurt you?”

She rushed to explain the rest, unable to keep it inside now
that she’d started. “I defied him and told him never to touch me again. I told
him I didn’t want his children. It enraged him. He stormed out of the house and
I didn’t see him for a week. I was glad and I thought maybe he’d been killed
somewhere, though murder is a rare occurrence on Magonia.”

“By the god.” Rayder’s eyes saddened and he pulled her to
his chest.

She buried her face in his shoulder, gulping as old anguish
threatened to rush forth. “There’s more. And when you learn the truth perhaps
you’ll hate me as much as Taris did.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

Oh, it was possible and very likely. A shaky breath left her
throat as memories assaulted her. Her entire family with their throats slit.
The image was seared into her mind. Even when she opened her eyes and stared at
the wall the images stayed. “I cannot forget what happened next. Ever.”

“What happened?”

She eased back to continue her story, but he kept his arms
about her. “He murdered my brother and parents.”

“No.” Rayder’s denial sounded more than heartfelt, his eyes
softening for a moment before returning to shocked anger. “Why wasn’t he
arrested for it?”

“Taris knew important and corrupt people. He was very
powerful in the area. His
triand
bought loyalty when nothing else about
him would. He told me he did it but knew that because I was his wife that no
one would believe me if I told the authorities he did it.”

She sobbed.

“No, my beauty. It’s all right. You don’t have to tell me
any more.” He cupped the back of her head, cradling her as she buried her face
in his shoulder again. “Please don’t torture yourself.”

“I do. You have to know.” She sniffed as tears came like a
rain shower, wetting his tunic. “You see, the real reason why he murdered my
parents is all my fault.”

He drew her face up so he could look into her eyes. “I don’t
understand. How could that be?”

“I heard through a friend there are potions women can take
to prevent pregnancy and cause sterilization.”

He nodded. “We have those potions on Dragonia, but few use
them anymore.”

“Well, I never assumed that Taris wouldn’t eventually be
able to…” She shrugged. “You know. I went to an old woman to get the potion. I
paid with most of my savings for it. Now that I knew Taris as a hateful man, I
couldn’t bear the thought of having his children. Taris caught me drinking it.
It enraged him. I managed to escape to my parents’ home.” She trembled. “One
day while I was out to market…” Her throat tightened with tears. “Taris
retaliated. That’s when I came home and found my brother and my parents
murdered. I ran for my life and escaped onto a ship. I didn’t know where I
thought I was going. The next port we came into, Taris caught up with me. He’d
taken the next ship after mine. He threatened to kill me on the spot if I
didn’t come back with him to Opali. We boarded the
Hydrasoseles
on the
way back to Opali. I met Ketera and Mia, and when Taris wasn’t threatening me,
I had peace with my friends. I didn’t tell them what I was going through. Not
much of it anyway. I didn’t want Taris to understand how much their friendship
meant to me. I was afraid he’d hurt them.” She cried harder, hoping Mia was
safe and that Ketera’s happiness with Dane would last.

She saw it then. The darkening in Rayder’s eyes, the grim
line to his mouth. His hatred and rejection would come now. He released her and
the loss of his embrace hurt. Rayder walked away to stare out a porthole at the
ocean.

If he decided to retaliate against her in some way, she
couldn’t escape the way she’d run from Taris. A terrible sense of the
inevitable swamped her and a helplessness she’d never experienced.

She’d fought against wanting his admiration. She’d struggled
not to care about him beyond the physical.

She had failed miserably.

“After the wave took down our ship and I was drowning, my
only solace was that Taris was dead,” she said. “But perhaps now you will feel
I am as worthless as he did.”

Rayder turned toward her, and his expression surprised her.
A bleakness was there, for certain, but not true anger. He reached for the rest
of his clothes, including his dagger and sword. He started for the door.