Date Shark (34 page)

“Hey,” Luke said softly, “are you okay?”

Leila nodded a confused yes and no answer. When Luke pulled her into his lap, she didn’t resist. She was so confused.

“This was the movie you watched with your mom before she died, right?”

“Yes,” she managed to croak.

His fingers swiped away errant tears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how this movie might make you feel. I know you were close with your mom.”

Leila was happy to let him think her suddenly muddled mood was due to memories of her mother. “We were very close.”

“That’s one of the things I love about you, Leila. You don’t let people in very often, but when you do, you hold onto them for life.”

Was that really true? No matter what decision she made, she would lose one of the men in her life. Another tear slipped down her cheek.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Luke pleaded.

“I’m sorry, Luke. It’s been a long day. I’m a bit of a mess right now.”

Slowly, softly, Luke pushed Leila down to the couch. His hands slid back down to her feet, careful not to miss a single inch of her along the way.

“I know just how to fix that,” Luke said as his fingers began soothing away the aches and confusion she was harboring.

His touch was a caress. Her skin begged for more the second he moved on to a new area. It was more than the fact that her body was weary from non-stop running and moving for the last month. This was a fantasy being fulfilled. There were a lot of nights she had collapsed on the couch after a long day wishing for someone to be there for her when she didn’t even have the energy to draw a bath. It felt so good to be taken care of.

Luke’s hands left her feet and worked their way up her calves one at a time. The tired muscles were delirious with joy. Leila was slowly losing the will to ever leave Luke’s couch. The slightest prompting from Luke bent Leila’s leg and he massaged her thigh. It would have been a lie to say that Leila’s heart rate didn’t skyrocket the further up his hands went. When he abandoned her legs altogether and began sliding his hands up her stomach she gasped in a breath and held it until his hands slid back down.

She closed her eyes as his fingers slid under her blouse and pushed the fabric back far enough that he could press his lips just below her navel. A soft moan of pleasure slipped out as he trailed kisses along her abdomen. Luke’s mouth pressed against her more urgently when he met up with the fabric of her shirt again. Suddenly, he skipped up to her lips. She drank him in eagerly.

“Leila,” he whispered against her mouth.

That stole her last modicum of resistance. Her hands curled around his neck, pulling him down on top of her. He wanted her. It was such a beautiful thought. No wondering, no games, no uncertain plans. He wanted her, right then, and he made no secret of his feelings. Leila twined her fingers in Luke’s hair as he ran kisses down her neck, pushing down her blouse and bra strap to bare her shoulder.

Luke pressed against Leila. His mouth and body became more eager, and Leila reveled in his desire for her … until he said, “Stay with me tonight. I don’t want you to go.”

His words made her entire body go numb. Eli had said the exact same thing to her. His image sprang up in her mind, the same words echoing in her ears, as if he was pleading with her.

“Leila,” Luke said urgently, “I want you. Stay with me.”

She squeezed her eyes shut against the image of Eli. She heard the words again, the feel of his arms around her. Leila’s body was begging for Luke. The energy and excitement bursting through her veins wanted release. But her heart was pleading with her to be sure. Staying would be choosing, and Leila knew she wasn’t ready.

“Luke …”

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, misinterpreting her calling of his name.

“Wait, Luke,” she begged between kisses.

His hands ran along her skin, pushing her blouse further up. The passion in every movement was almost too much. Barely, she held onto her clarity. She pressed her hands again his chest. He took it as encouragement and pulled her against him even more tightly. There was no way she could push him back then.

“Luke, stop!”

That got his attention. He pulled back, but only slightly. They were both breathing hard. Leila’s eyes were wide while his brows were knit together with confusion. “Am I hurting you?” he asked.

“No, I just …” Leila bit at her lower lip. “I’m not ready, Luke. I’m sorry.”

Luke looked as if he had just been slapped. “What?”

The stark tone of his voice startled her. “I can’t …”

“Why?” he demanded. “Don’t you want me?”

“Yes,” she blurted out automatically. Luke tried to move back in but she held him off. “Yes, I want you, very much, but I need more time.”

“For what?”

“To be sure,” she explained.

Leila knew this couldn’t be easy for Luke, but she didn’t expect the anger that flickered in his eyes. “To be sure? To be sure of what, Leila? That I’m a better choice than Eli? Is that what you’re still trying to decide? Does what I said earlier not matter to you at all?
I want you in my life!
What does Eli want from you? What has he given up for you?”

“I … It’s not …”

Red flushed Luke’s skin. “It’s not Eli? Is that really what you were going to say? Of course it’s Eli!”

“He’s my friend,” Leila said weakly.

“No. He’s not!” Luke pushed away from Leila and walked across the room. He spun back around to face her from the dining room. “I have put up with you spending time with him, not because I buy into your delusion that he’s not interested in you, but because I knew demanding you give him up would make me lose you. I couldn’t stand the idea of never seeing you again. I put up with him for six months! Now when I ask you to take a real step forward in our relationship, something that isn’t easy for me, you’re thinking of him! What do I have to do to make you forget him?”

Regardless of the fact that Leila wasn’t sure anything Luke could do would ever make her forget Eli entirely, she became suddenly very angry herself.

“You act like you’re the only one who’s had to do something difficult in this relationship! I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to swallow my fears to go along on one of your adventures,” Leila said. “And heaven forbid you take an interest in something important to me! I love that you encourage me to try new things, talking about moving in together doesn’t erase my fears that the second things get too dull around here you will bolt. That holds me back as much as anything else.”

“More than the fairytale idea of Eli sweeping you off your feet?” he sniped.

Leila scowled at him. Yes, Eli was a big part of her indecision, but everything else was true as well. Why did he want to move in together? Was it really about wanting to see her more?

“If you want to make this solely about Eli and not about anything else, fine! Prove to me that you asked me to move in with you because you want me to share your life and not because you want to cut Eli out of mine,” she snapped.

The door slammed behind her before she remembered she had left her car at St. Claire’s. Deciding she didn’t care, Leila practically ran down the stairs of the apartment building, dialing as she went. The cab company promised a car would arrive within minutes. Her anger and guilt swirled around her as she burst onto the street. The cool, dead quiet of late night pressed against her and she started shivering. Tears were a willing companion. She was so confused and frightened, not to mention furious at both herself and Luke, that she could hardly form a coherent thought. When the cab pulled up, she mumbled an address and fell back against the seat in misery.

She must have fallen asleep purely out of defense, because rapping on the plastic separator woke her a few minutes later. “Hey, we’re here. Fare is fifteen dollars.”

Leila mumbled grouchily under her breath as she handed over the cash. She stepped out of the cab and it drove away immediately, too soon for her to call it back when she realized what address she had given him.

Chapter 26

End of the Line

The sound of banging roused Eli from a restless sleep. He stumbled through the apartment in the dark because turning the light on didn’t occur to his groggy mind. He did, however, have the presence of mind to look through the peep hole before opening the door. The sight of a tear streaked Leila sent sleep packing.

He yanked the door open saying, “Leila, what happened?”

“I don’t know,” she said through trembling lips.

Eli took her hand and led her out of the hallway and into the living room. She sat on the couch and immediately pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her body. It was the equivalent of an old world castle. Impenetrable. The last thing Eli wanted to do was sit down next to her calmly and give her space, but that was what he did. After several minutes, the strain was too great.

“Leila, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Did something happen at work?”

She shook her head. Eli sighed, because that left only one other option. “With Luke?”

Her body shuddered as she nodded. By that point, her forehead was pressed to her knees, blocking any view of her expression. Eli waited as long as he could before forcing her chin up. “What happened with Luke?”

Leila’s chin began to quiver. “He asked me to move in with him.”

The pain those few words caused him was only tempered by her obvious sadness. He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to punch Luke for jumping the gun, or kiss Leila for refusing him, or whatever it was that had led to her huddling on his couch in tears. Before he could figure it out, he needed to untangle Leila’s night with Luke.

“He asked you to move in. What did you say?”

“I said I needed some time to think about it.”

Eli’s testosterone started to edge up to a higher level. “And how did Luke respond to that?”

“He was so sweet about it,” Leila said, confusing Eli. “He understood it was a big step I would need to really consider.”

“And then what happened?”

“We watched a movie,” Leila said slowly.

She was hiding something, or trying to work up the courage to say what she wanted to say. Eli forced himself to indulge her. “What movie?”

“
His Girl Friday
,” she said. “He knew I’d been looking for it, and he surprised me with it tonight. It was one I watched with my mom.”

Eli begrudgingly gave Luke credit for the thoughtful gift. “After the movie?”

That was where the problems started. He could tell by the way her body tensed up. The blush that spread across her cheeks was hard to figure, but Eli waited semi-patiently for Leila to respond. She directed her eyes strictly at the carpet before speaking.

“After … Luke offered to rub my feet because they were hurting from work, and things …” Her knuckles turned white under the force of squeezing her knees. Eli sank into the couch, not sure if he could handle listening to Leila recount what
things
happened after the movie. But he would have to leave if he didn’t want to hear it, and that was something he knew he couldn’t do. He felt sick, but he listened.

“At first I wanted Luke to … I mean, it felt good to know he wanted me like that. I didn’t want him to stop. But then …”

But then
was a good sign. “Yes?” Eli prompted.

“Then he said something, and I realized I wasn’t ready yet. I told Luke to stop.”

There were half a dozen questions Eli should have asked at that point. What did Luke say? What happened when she told him to stop? Why wasn’t she ready? But the question that popped out of his mouth was, “You and Luke haven’t slept together yet?”

Leila's head popped up at his brash question. “No,” she spluttered, “of course not.”

Not grinning like an idiot took superhuman strength, but somehow Eli managed. He couldn’t manage the right question, though. “Why not?”

“Because I wasn’t ready,” she said, as if the answer should have been transparent.

“Are you …?”

“A virgin?” Leila finished. “No, but I won’t jump in bed with a guy just for fun. I have to know it will mean something, that the other person really cares about me.”

Inside, Eli was thrilled, but Leila still hadn’t gotten to the reason for her being at his apartment in the middle of the night. “What happened when you told Luke you weren’t ready to have sex?”

The word “sex” sent Leila diving for cover again. He could barely hear her response with her face buried against her knees. “He yelled at me.”

“What?” Eli demanded.

Leila peeked up from her hiding place. “He got mad and said it wasn’t fair that he was willing to give things up for me, but I wasn’t willing to give anything up for him.”

Eli had given Luke way too much credit. He was flat out, the biggest idiot in the world. “You have gone on more harebrained dates with him that any other woman on the planet would have ever agreed to. You have pushed yourself and grown for him.”

“I said the same things—yelled them, actually,” Leila said with a wry smile. “But there was something else he wanted me to give up, and I think that was the real reason he asked me to move in with him.”

“What did he want you to give up?” Eli asked warily, not sure what the answer would be.

Leila hesitated, then said, “You.”

Eli’s world seemed to shrink to nothing more than he and Leila and the couch they were sitting on. She didn’t sleep with Luke because it meant giving Eli up for good. Eli had been in love with Leila almost since the first time they met, but it wasn’t until that moment that he realized how deep his love for her went. She was the girl that he would love for the rest of his life. If they were together, he could survive any hardship or trial because she was with him. If he somehow managed to lose her, there would never be anyone else. Leila was not the kind of woman a man got over.

“Eli,” Leila said quietly, “can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be alone.” The sniffle that followed her words broke through Eli’s forced calm. He pulled her into his arms and cradled her like the precious gift she was.