Daughter of Earth (Tales of the Guardian) (21 page)

     “You’ve always been so good to your father. He is one lucky man.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “But you shouldn’t worry. He’s so proud of you, Emily. And I know he misses you, but every parent knows one day they have to face the fact their children are going to grow up and move out.”

     She shook her head. “I wouldn’t worry so much if my mom were still around.”

     Her father’s loneliness was always a concern for Emily. It stemmed from her personal discomfort and fear of being alone. She’d always been someone who took comfort in having another human nearby. She’d been this way since she was young, always shadowing her mother or father. Maybe being an only child was the cause of this loneliness in her, but it was one thing she had a hard time understanding.

     She hated seeing people sitting by themselves in a restaurant or at the movies. Maybe those people enjoyed the time alone, maybe they were actually seeking it. She could only think about how sad she would feel, sitting by herself, doing things by herself.

     So, the thought of her dad being one of those people doing things alone pained her. That’s why her mother should have been there, so her parents could enjoy retirement together, grow old together. That was her father’s dream and he had been denied it.

     Anger now began to creep in. The anger that always came when she felt she’d been wronged by her mother’s death.

     “Hey,” Rob snapped Emily out of her thoughts. His hands slipped down from her shoulder to grasp her hands. “No one can replace your mother, not even you. But I think your dad has come to accept that. He is at peace with it. I think your concern sometimes blurs your vision and you fail to see how resilient your father really is. He is a pillar of strength. I think you worry about him being lonely more than he does.”

     It was a brave statement. She actually appreciated the honesty.

     “Yeah, I guess you’re right. He does pretty well on his own. It’s just me who doesn’t,” she huffed.

     They were both silent for a moment. Rob contemplated whether or not that was an invitation to press for more details.

     Emily questioned if she should really unload on him.

     “So does that mean college isn’t going well?” he asked, still a little hesitant.

     “Huh, college,” Emily almost forgot who she was talking to as she scoffed at the sheer mention of the word. “I guess you could say it’s not what I expected. It almost feels like I’ve gone to a different planet.” She rubbed her hands over her face and down her neck.

     “I bet it does.”

     “I mean…” she looked up to finally meet Rob’s gaze. “I knew this was going to be hard, I totally expected that. I just didn’t expect drama. I thought I had passed that point in my life when I graduated high school.”

     “Are you talking drama class, or social drama? ‘Cause I have to say I wouldn’t like either,” he flashed his smile, indicating he knew the answer.

     Emily couldn’t help but smile. Rob did have a way of keeping things light hearted and positive. Just like her father.

     “Yeah, no drama class for me. I’ve got enough going on with Alexander that I don’t need to pretend or act it out on stage,” she instantly regretted her statement. She hadn’t meant to mention Alexander.

     Rob leaned back. “Ah, so it’s the boyfriend.” He pulled his hands away from her and interlocked his fingers in front of him. “Well, I’m not one to give advice on boyfriends, ‘cause I’ve never had one.”

     She giggled.

     “Yep, guys are odd creatures. Can’t say I am always proud to be one, but hey, we’ve got some endearing qualities.” He took a deep breath. “Alexander seemed like a great guy. Cut him some slack. I can’t imagine him doing anything that bad. He seemed like a saint when I met him. And your dad thinks highly of him, so …”

     Emily knew it was difficult for Rob to be praising Alexander. He was setting aside his personal feelings to offer her some encouragement which made her admire him all the more.

     “Thanks,” she reached over and patted his knee a few times.

     “I should probably get going,” he stood, glancing down at the mess in his lap. “This hot coco is now giving me the chills.”

     “I’m so sorry, that must have been a horrible way to wake up,” she covered her mouth to hide her chuckle.

     “No, it was quite invigorating. I’ll have to try it again sometime; so long as we keep avoiding the electronics.” He reached down to grab his laptop and suit coat lying on the floor next to the couch.

     Emily walked him over to the door and opened it.

     “It was great seeing you. A surprise, but a great one.” Rob passed through the threshold to the other side and spun to face her.

     “It was a great surprise for me too, both yesterday and this morning.” She gestured to the stain which had formed on his pants.

     He laughed as he glanced down. “Should be interesting getting home. I’m guessing I’ll get lots of weird looks.”

     “Probably,” Emily could not hide her amusement at the thought even though she really did feel bad about it.

     Rob was the kind of confident, self-assured guy who wasn’t affected by others’ opinions of him. He was the type who turned humiliating fashion statements into new styles. Pretty soon it would be popular to wear stained pants such as his.

     Rob looked as though he was going to turn to walk away, but then stopped and jerked back to face her. “Hey, uh, Em. How about you let me take you out for dinner tomorrow night? You know, just to catch up as friends,” he shrugged.

     There was no denying the fact that Rob still had feelings for Emily but at the same time he had just recognized Alexander as her boyfriend so the invite seemed fairly harmless.

     She contemplated the innocence of his request. What was wrong with two friends grabbing a bite to eat?

    
“I am engaged, though. At least I think I am, maybe, possibly…”

    
“Sure sounds awesome,” Emily pushed forward refusing to think too much about it.

     “Great! I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6.”

     “Sounds good.”

     “Alright.” Rob gave a short wave and then headed down the hallway to the elevator.

     After closing the door, Emily turned and pressed her back to it. Sliding all the way down until her knees tucked tightly against her chest.

     “
What am I doing? I’m going to lead him on, like last time. Just because I had one fight with Alexander doesn’t mean it’s over. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore. I can’t go seeking comfort from some other guy. I can’t play with Rob’s feelings.”

    
The thoughts raced through her mind but the fact was, she couldn’t fully combat the selfish feeling which was slowly surfacing. She hungered to experience some normalcy, even if it was only for an evening. She doubted Rob would have the same kind of mood swings as Alexander had been experiencing. He would be ordinary and consistent.

     His was an enticing offer. One that deep down, she didn’t want to refuse.

     But more dangerous than any offer was the idea that if Alexander had not come along in her life she most likely would have ended up with Rob. In fact she was just growing accustomed to their budding relationship when Alexander stepped in and swept her off her feet. Their first date had gone so well but they had never even been allotted a chance for a second. What if they would have been given that chance? Would Emily be leading a more normal life close to her father where she wanted to be? What if Alexander had not come along when he did?

     The ‘what if’s’ were always sketchy bombs to play around with but they were growing increasingly hard for Emily to push away.

*************

“I don’t know what to tell you honey. It sounds like Alexander is struggling with something inside he just isn’t telling anyone about,” her father shook his head. “It’s a hazardous thing to carry a burden by yourself. After a while, it will eat at you.”

“I’ve been contemplating that scenario. I sometimes get the feeling there is something he’s not telling me. Part of me is angry he won’t just fess up. And part of me is scared to hear what it might be. I mean, something is changing him, and if it is changing him it certainly can’t be good, right?” Emily massaged her forehead.

The conversation with her father had been going on for over an hour and though he was offering comfort, reliving all the details was only causing her to grow more confused and frustrated.

“You should see him, Dad. He is his sweet normal self one minute and then the next he’s angry and irrational. I just have such a hard time believing some small event or new knowledge is having this size of an effect on him. Alexander’s stronger than that.”

“That does sound odd for Alexander. But it’s obvious he is different when it comes to his kind, otherwise he wouldn’t have had feelings for you in the first place.”

“I don’t know, sweetie. Sounds like Alexander is just more human-like then you expected and therefore less perfect.” James reached across the table to touch her hands. “And I can tell you right now even though your mom and I were happy, we certainly weren’t perfect. Neither of us were, nor was our marriage.”

“That is part of loving someone. You love them even when their imperfections manifest themselves. I think this is just coming more as a shock to you because you never expected Alexander to have any imperfections. That’s not a fair weight to place on his shoulders.”

“You could be right,” Emily breathed out. She was still so confused. Was she really making a bigger deal about all this than necessary? Was Alexander really changing or was this the point in their relationship in which his imperfections were coming out?

Alexander’s most cruel comment had come as he expressed that he believed Emily was misplacing her trust. He had wanted her to trust him first and foremost, not Damarus. Didn’t she owe him that? Either way she had failed to give him the reassurance when he sought it. Was he just angry because he was feeling replaced? It was a concern she knew he harbored before they even went to Eden.

 But that didn’t explain his actions in her chambers. It was a moment that still haunted her. Not because of what he did, it was the look in his eyes for that brief second as she’d met his gaze in the mirror. Those were not his eyes; they burned with intensity, or maybe even hunger. Whatever it was it was something unfamiliar and it frightened her.

Emily had not told her father about the pass Alexander made at her that night in her room. She was still a little embarrassed about the whole thing. She’d also neglected to tell him about the proposal. This did not feel like a good time to throw it in the mix. Having that joyous and tender moment soiled by the mess churning around it was not something she wanted.

No, she held tightly to the night Alexander had proposed because in that slot of time he had been himself and she’d never been happier.

“So what you’re saying is I should cut him some slack and go back and try and fix things.” Emily ran her fingers through her hair. That was exactly what her father was telling her to do.

“Never say can’t, and never quit, Emily. Remember? I always push that principle.”

“Surprisingly, Rob said something similar, even though I didn’t give him any details.”

“Really.” Her father leaned back, raising his features in a questioning look. “You spoke to Rob about this? When?”

“Yesterday morning. Like I said, I barely mentioned it but his response was similar to yours, just in much fewer words,” she glanced at the clock on the oven. “And speaking of Rob, I am going to be late if I don’t get ready. He’s taking me out to eat tonight.”