Daughter of Hauk (The Raven Chronicles Book 1) (28 page)

              “Your reaction was normal, Arwenna. There’s no information she would’ve been able to give you. Nor would she have been able to explain a thing. If she’d been able to regain control of herself, her foremost desire would’ve been death for the betrayal. You did exactly what she was hoping for. You granted her a way to keep from hurting you any further. I don’t think she expected Senyan to come dig her up. If she’s not holding you responsible for her death, why hold yourself to be so?” Tiren tilted her head to one side, as if expecting another argument.

              The tears started to flow again as Arwenna finally grieved for the death of her friend. The knot unraveled more, the trickle of magic flowing free grew.

              Tiren waited patiently for Arwenna’s grief to pass. After a few moments, Arwenna wiped at the remaining tears. She drew a few unsteady breaths to steady herself before she tried talking. “Bah’Laush was right when he said I should listen to you. Are you done with me yet?”  There was an almost pleading quality to her voice.

              “Is your magic fully unlocked?” 

              Arwenna could tell from the tone of Tiren’s voice that they were far from done. Very slowly, she shook her head, acknowledging that more needed to be done to free the magic.

              “You can’t stop this, Arwenna. It has to be done, and it has to be done all at once. There is more damage done to the soul if you don’t deal with these issues.”  Arwenna closed her eyes as Tiren spoke, steeling herself for what was to come. When she had regained a measure of calm, she nodded silently for Tiren to continue.

              “We need to deal with Senyan now, Arwenna. The man you knew isn’t even alive any more. There is not a shred left of the elf you loved. There is no good left, no possible way to save his soul. He has completely given that over to Corse. Even his destruction won’t save him. It will, however, save millions of lives other than his. Including those that you love and care for.”  Her head tilted towards where Joss and the others sat. “I know you loved the man that Senyan was at one time. But do you still?  Or is your heart committed to another?  The creature that Senyan is now is no longer human. He would kill you or Joss as easily as he would a fly. And then he would bring one of you back to spend eternity tormenting the other. You need to let go of your hope that he can be saved, Arwenna. He is long past redemption.”

              Arwenna looked over at Joss, the knot in her stomach replaced briefly by the love she felt for him. The realization that Senyan was lost for good took hold. “I won’t lose Joss again, Tiren. Senyan and Corse have used that against me in the past. I’m not even sure I care if Senyan is alive or dead any more. Corse is his puppet master. Senyan’s just his little herald. And I don’t need to waste my time on errand boys.” The magic flowed stronger as another barrier crumbled.

              “And what of those who helped trick you into betraying him?” Tiren’s voice seemed both insistent and curious at the same time.

              “They made their beds, let them lie in them. They’re meaningless to me right now.”  The tiniest falter crept into her voice.

              “Think of it this way, Arwenna. You saved several girls who didn’t have the strength and courage you do from being put into the position you were.”  Tiren paused, letting her words sink into Arwenna’s thoughts. “Think of what you went through before you were killed. Is there anything there you would honestly wish on another?”

              Arwenna felt the knot loosen even more as she realized she wouldn’t wish the trials she had endured on another. “Do they even care, any of them? Or are they past redemption as well?” Arwenna remembered Father Morgyn’s visit while being held by Bohrs the last time, the slight hint of regret in his eyes.

              “Father Morgyn has some regrets, but it is more of how you were treated by Bohrs than over his own actions. Had he known what Bohrs was planning to do to you, he would’ve taken steps to shield you somewhat. If Corse would’ve let him, that is.”  Arwenna could feel the intensity of Tiren’s gaze increase. “That is next, you know. Bohrs.”  The fear built in her stomach again, threatening to overcome her.

              Blinking away tears, Arwenna did her best to quell the fear. If this would make it so she didn’t panic upon hearing his name, then she would do what she must to get through it. She nodded to Tiren to continue, not trusting her voice. The tears already ran down her cheeks.

              Tiren’s voice softened, “Bohrs was someone that was born to privilege but didn’t understand the obligations that came with that rank. He sought to hold himself above everyone and felt slighted at the smallest imagined insult. Very early in his life, before you were in the house, he fell in what passed for love with him. The girl spurned him in public. That night, he found a way into her bed and raped her. She was barely 13. He fell in love with the power and control he had over her because of it. From that point onward, he would take any female he felt he could. When he came home and found you there, saw how his parents treated you as part of the family, his jealousy flared up. It was then that he decided to do whatever he could to put you in the place he felt you belonged. He was an opportunistic, controlling, sadistic bastard. Nothing more. And he was destroyed to the point that he won’t be there when you get off this boat.”  Arwenna heard Tiren’s voice vocalize her deepest fear.

              In a soft voice, she asked, “Why me? What did I do to make him hate me so?” It was the child within asking the question.

              Tiren grew in size and enfolded Arwenna in her arms. “You didn’t do anything, Arwenna. The blame for it lies solely on Bohrs’ shoulders. It was a sickness within him that caused all of this. There is nothing different you could have done. You did not know he was in Tanisal. You recognized he would kill your companions even if you had submitted to him then and there, and refused him again. When you were in that hell he stashed you away in, there was no way to fight him beyond what you did. You are not to blame in any way. Please, Arwenna, you must come to grips with this. I know the terror is there, the fear that he will come back. But you don’t see what your companions do while you sleep. One of them is always alert, watching you. All three of them are willing to die before anything that terrifying can touch you again. You can’t go into the battle ahead with fear of the past. You can’t let Bohrs rule you. If you do, he wins.”  Arwenna let Tiren cradle her head as her body shook with the force of her sobs.

              “I can’t….so scared…”she managed to gasp out the words.

              “Are you so scared of a ghost that you will wager your child’s life on it?”  Arwenna’s head snapped up, eyes wide with terror, searching Tiren’s own eyes. “That’s what it will come down to, Arwenna. You’re capable of slaying the undead with barely a wave of your hand. That’s all he would be now, a ghost. Would you let your fear of a ghost override your courage?  Would you let that fear put your child into harm’s way?”

              The truth of Tiren’s words hit Arwenna like a blow, making her draw back. Desire to protect her child at any cost finally overcame the last kink in the knot, sending the frayed ends off into oblivion. The small stream of magic broke wide, filling her with more energy and belief in herself than she thought possible. Staring at her hands she saw the magic crackling at her fingertips, waiting to be used. Arwenna turned back to Tiren, a look of amazement on her face, “Thank you, Tiren. Now I understand what Bah’Laush meant when he told me to listen to you.”

              Tiren slowly diminished in size. “You will need to practice, Arwenna. This magic is totally different from the ritualistic type you have wielded before. You have no more need for sigils or bits of plants. Think what you would do, see it clearly in your mind, and it will happen. Hauk gave you this Gift, however, and can restrict or revoke it if you misuse it.” 

              The figure was gone now, the green glow barely visible. “I have one more task for you, Arwenna. There is one of your companions I would speak to next. Would you be so kind as to hand me to your sister?”

              Arwenna nodded, staring at the spot where Tiren had been. Noise from the ship slowly reached her ears. Scanning the deck, Arwenna located Y’Dürkie teaching Joss some hand to hand combat. As she rose, Barek stepped into the melee and came at Joss from behind. Joss neatly escaped from the hold and changed focus for the fight, though keeping a close eye on Y’Dürkie. His nimbleness worked briefly against Barek’s massive strength, but in the end Joss found himself pinned to the mast by one of Barek’s huge arms. Arwenna squinted, trying to figure out what Joss was saying. She couldn’t, however, and Barek moved away slowly. Y’Dürkie looked at both of them intensely, as if expecting the sparring match to get heated.

              “Y’Dürkie, do you have a moment?”  Arwenna stepped closer to the three of them, dismissing the awkward silence. Y’Dürkie nodded, but kept an eye on Joss and Barek as she approached. Joss threw her a quick smile as he headed over to grab a towel. Barek watched him warily.

              Reaching into her belt pouch, Arwenna pulled out the Gem as she approached Y’Dürkie. “It wants to talk with you, Sister. I don’t know why. But you should listen to it. Even if you won’t listen to anyone or anything else, listen to this.”  Almost reverently, Arwenna placed the relic in Y’Dürkie’s palm.

              Y’Dürkie watched her put the stone in her hand, confusion all over her face. “Vhy vould it vant to talk to me, Arvenna?  I am only…” her voice trailed off as the Gem flared brightly, enveloping Y’Dürkie in a green glow. Her great sword flew to her hand as if drawn to a magnet. Arwenna and Y’Dürkie watched in awe as the Gem levitated out of Y’Dürkie’s palm and hovered above the pommel of her sword.

              A voice called out, loud enough that Joss and Barek turned around to watch. “Only one who is of good intent, who protects out of love and devotion, who has no desire to hinder or change the lives of those they protect may wield me. Let it be so.”  With those words, the Gem slowly melted into the pommel of Y’Dürkie’s sword. The metal reshaped itself around the Gem smoother than a master weaponsmith could accomplish. With a final flash of green, the blade erupted in green fire.

Arwenna smiled at Y’Dürkie, nodding towards the weapon in her sister’s hands. “See?  I told you it wanted to talk with you. I really do suggest you listen. It doesn’t take no for an answer.”  With a laugh, she threw her arms around Y’Dürkie.

              Later that night, Arwenna watched the stars float by. The sound of footsteps made her turn slightly. Joss was walking towards her, a cloak over one arm. She let him place the cloak around her shoulders without complaint, melting back into his arms once he had the cloak around her. She stood there, content, listening to the ship slice through the waves.

              “What happened today, Arwenna?  I feel like I missed a great deal. There is something different about you.” He kept his voice low, as if not to disturb the fish below.

              “I had a long talk with that Gem sitting in Y’Dürkie’s sword. The end result was the wall preventing me from tapping all of my magic came crashing down.” Arwenna kept the details to herself. The emotional roller coaster she had gone through during the process had left her raw in places.

              “What did you talk about?”  She could hear both curiosity and concern in his voice.

              Turning, she fiddled with the front of his tunic. “What were you and Barek talking about at the end of your little sparring match?”

              Joss looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. “It was a matter that he and I have been dealing with for a long time, that’s all. I believe it’s been settled now.”  He glanced down at her face, reading the determination in her eyes. “You won’t tell me what you and the Gem discussed unless I tell you what is between me and Barek.”  It wasn’t a question, more a statement of fact.

              She nodded slowly. “I will trust you when you say the matter is settled and something I should not be concerned with. The same applies to my conversation with the Gem. Someday, when this is over and done with, I may let you know more. But not tonight. Not unless you’re willing to talk about the other issue.”

              She watched his gaze shift out to the sea and let his arms fold her into his chest. “Did it tell you that Y’Dürkie was to be the Wielder?”  She closed her eyes, glad for the change of topic.

              “No. It told me to give it over to her. But I didn’t know what it was going to do. I think Y’Dürkie’s going to have to take a few days to get used to the thing, but we’ve still got a week or so at sea. I’m sure the two of them will be on the same page by the time we arrive back in Almair.”  She shifted slightly to face the sea again. “I think it will be an adjustment for Y’Dürkie. She’s not used to wielding magic. And this Gem has some powerful magic to harness.”

              “I’m sure she’ll figure it out, Arwenna. She has a good mind, and a strong will. From the way the Gem was talking, she wouldn’t be the Wielder if the Gem thought she couldn’t handle it.”  He paused, squeezing Arwenna just a hair tighter. “Besides, Y’Dürkie has been able to keep you alive all this time. That’s something in my book.”

              Arwenna drew back a little, amusement touched her eyes. “Am I that hard to keep alive?  I’m doing my best to stick around, I’ll have you know.”

              Joss smiled back at her, once again moving a stray lock of hair from her face. “It’s not that you’re hard to keep alive. It’s more that you’re hard to keep track of. If we turn our backs for long, you’re off running to the other side of the world for one reason or another. I’m just going to have to find a house somewhere that you’ll like enough that you won’t go off chasing butterflies.”