Daughter of Hauk (The Raven Chronicles Book 1) (31 page)

              Y’Dürkie nodded in response, her jaw set tight against the possibility that they were dead.

              That afternoon, storm clouds started to build to the east, slowly working towards the party. Arwenna pulled her cloak a little tighter around her as the wind picked up. “Barek,” she called out, “we should be on the lookout for somewhere we can hole up for the night. I don’t think we should sleep outside during a storm.”

              Barek raised his head to scan the menacing sky. “You’re probably right. We’ve got several hours before that reaches us, but we should find cover for the night.”  They all searched the countryside as they rode, hoping to find some kind of shelter.

              Joss spotted it first, “Over there….there’s a small house.”  He pointed to the southwest. Peeking out from a small grove was the outline of a cottage. “I’ll go check it out.”  He wheeled his horse around and took off at a canter towards the copse of trees.

              Arwenna waited impatiently, her cloak billowing in the wind. She could barely make out Joss’ form as he snuck around the building, making sure it was empty before he went inside. Without knowing it, she held her breath for the short time he was inside and out of sight, letting it out only when he stepped back outside and waved for them to come his way.

              The stone cottage was solid, but deserted. A small stable in back had some feed still in it. There was barely enough room for all four horses under the roof, but a small fenced yard gave them room to move about. Arwenna and the others tended to the horses as Joss filled them in on the cabin itself.

              “It’s small, but will keep the storm off us. Looks like the owners left fairly quickly….lots of pots and such everywhere. There’s the makings of a well-stocked larder, though. And the fireplace looks like it will work. Once it starts raining, any smoke coming out the chimney shouldn’t be that noticeable.”

              Y’Dürkie took a look at the approaching clouds, assessing how long before they reached the cabin. “Ve have got another hour or so. Might be vorth our vhile to try and do a little huntink. Ve are runnink low on dried meat. Vant to come vith me, Joss?  That bow of yours vould be useful.”

              Arwenna gave him an encouraging smile. “Why don’t you go with Y’Dürkie. I’m sure Barek and I can manage well enough until the two of you come back. Might even have some food ready by then.”  She gave him a quick hug and kiss before pushing him off towards Y’Dürkie. “Bring him back in one piece, Sister.”  Y’Dürkie laughed, heading off into the woods with Joss.

              Arwenna and Barek finished gathering up the packs and headed into the cabin. Evidence of a quick departure was everywhere. Furniture was overturned, dishes all over the countertops, blankets and clothing tossed about. There was a small bedchamber off of the main room, containing a well-constructed bed. Arwenna started to clear the dishes off the table and counters while Barek busied himself with righting furniture and starting a fire in the fireplace.

              Opening a cupboard, Arwenna found a variety of kitchen staples, including some vegetables that were still edible. Their dinner that night wouldn’t be a banquet, but it would be a far cry from what they had been eating as of late.

              “No!’

              Arwenna jumped as Barek roared vehemently, hurling a chair against the wall. The sound of the wood shattering into pieces was almost deafening in the small cabin. She looked around the room, searching for the cause of the outburst. All she saw was Barek leaning against the mantle, his face contorted in rage. Slowly, she edged towards his hulking figure. “Barek?”

              He turned, hurling a pot towards the wall. “I won’t do it!  Leave me alone!”

              She stopped midstride, caution overrode her concern. Barek in a rage was not someone she would ever sneak up on. “Barek?  I’m the only one here. You need to calm down and tell me what they’re saying.”  She kept her voice even, not wanting to startle him.

              The sound of her voice made him turn towards her. Arwenna drew back slightly from the murderous look in his eyes. After a second or two, his eyes refocused to see that it was her standing there. He slumped into a chair in front of the fire and cradled his head in his hands.

              Seeing the rage leave him, Arwenna grabbed another chair and moved it opposite him. Keeping her movements small, she sat in the seat. “What were they saying, Barek?  What is it they wanted you to do?”  She kept her voice steady.

              Barek leaned forward, turning his head to stare into the fire. He seemed to purposefully avoid looking at her. “They’ve been talking off and on all day, trying to get me to question my courage. Saying things like I’m a coward or a weakling. I’ve been ignoring them. This time, though….this time they’re starting to play dirty.” 

              Arwenna leaned forward in her chair, waiting for him to continue. Whatever the voices were saying to him had cut deep, and she wasn’t going to push him. He’d tell her when he was ready. A thick silence descended in the cabin.

              “They were saying if I was the barbarian I thought I was, I should just take what I wanted and go, like any other half orc. And, if I did, they’d make sure no one would chase me down.” 

              Arwenna’s throat tightened, a small knot of fear formed in her stomach. “What is it you want so badly, Barek, that would make you react like this?” 

              He turned his head, looking her in the eye. Arwenna drew back slightly in shock from what she saw there. “You,” came his whispered reply.

              She looked away from him, burying her face in her hands for a moment. Her mind raced as fast as her heart. The fire crackled and popped in the silence. So many things began to fall into place that had escaped her notice before. Finally, she stammered out, “I…ah…Joss….I didn’t…”

              Barek cut in, “I know, you’re in love with
him
. It’s not what I want for you, but it’s your choice.”  His voice was laden with emotion.

              Rubbing her fingers on her temples, she willed away the headache she could feel forming. “Is this why you and Joss fight all the time when my back is turned?”

              Leaning back in his chair, Barek let out a long breath. “I suppose so. I’m not entirely convinced he can take care of you, protect you. Not like I could, anyhow.”

              “Are you planning to do what the voices said, Barek?  Should I be concerned that you’re just going to haul me over your shoulder one day and take off with me?”  Arwenna took a deep breath and looked Barek in the eye.

              “No, I’m not. I’m not going to do that, ever. If you ever wanted to be with me it would be your choice, Arwenna. I’m not going to take you down the same road that Bohrs did.”  The look he returned to Arwenna convinced her that he spoke the truth. “If that was the case, I’d have done it by now. You and I have been in countless situations where I could’ve done just that. And it never crossed my mind to do so. You don’t need to be afraid of me.”

              Arwenna nodded her head, knowing that he spoke the truth. “This is what you kept from me on the boat, isn’t it?  When I was putting that shield on you?”

              Barek sighed, “Yes. I guess I didn’t think they’d go there. And I wasn’t planning to say anything to you about it. I don’t like watching you with him, but I wasn’t willing to say anything because you’re happy.”

              Arwenna cradled her face in her hands, her mind racing with a million thoughts. The closeness she felt for Barek was nothing like what she felt for Joss. She did care for him, but not in the way he wanted. The silence in the room grew almost oppressive, broken only by the crackle of the fire. After several minutes, she raised her head to look at Barek.

              “I do care about you, Barek, just in a different way. I don’t think I ever would’ve thought of you in this way. You’re like the brother I
should
have had, the one I would choose for myself. You’ve stood between me and death more times than I can count. Are you still willing to do that?  Or to do so for Joss?  If you’re having doubts about that, I’d rather you leave on good terms. I need you, but I need to be certain you’re going to watch all of our backs…not just mine or Y’Dürkie’s.”  She paused, waiting for his reply.

              Barek absently rubbed at a kink in his neck. “I’ll stick around as long as you want me to, Arwenna. I’ve got your back as well as the others. Including his. I’ll do my best to keep him safe, if only to make you happy.”  The tone of his voice made her realize just how difficult it was for him to agree to that.

              “Will you let me shield you the whole way now?  I think it will help you somewhat.”  Arwenna took a deep breath to steady her own nerves. To shield him totally would allow her to know the depth of his emotions for her, something that might be difficult for both of them.

              Nodding his head, Barek agreed. “I want the voices gone, period. Do whatever you need to do.”  He closed his eyes.

              Rising slowly from her chair, she walked around to the back of Barek’s chair. She took another deep breath and steadied herself before placing her hands gently on either side of his head. Finding the shield she had placed there a few days ago, she reworked it into the portion of his psyche that he’d kept hidden from her. The depth of emotion hidden there made her tear up slightly. She had never even thought of him like that, nor did she have any clue that was how he looked at her. There was a trace of the minds that had been sending the messages to Barek. Concentrating even harder, Arwenna began to get a sense of the people behind them. Her stomach tightened as she identified both Father Morgyn and Master Johannes.  Anger flared inside her and she used it to send a rather painful message back to them. Moving her hands away from his head, she shook them to regain some blood flow.

              “I know who’s doing it now, Barek. With any luck, they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the next few days and won’t be able to try that again.”

              Barek didn’t look at her. “Do I want to know who?”

              “It was the two that had me help bind Corse to Senyan originally. Father Morgyn and Master Johannes. I was hoping that my breaking the bond with the raven would’ve killed them. We weren’t that lucky.”

              “That’s something, at least. I was starting to fear it was Corse.”

              Arwenna moved slowly back towards the fire. The sound of raindrops falling onto the roof of the cottage made her look up.

              “I hope Y’Dürkie and Joss make it back here before the rain gets too bad.”  She made an attempt to change the subject, hoping to put the awkwardness behind them.

              “I’m sure they’re both fine. Y’Dürkie could use the bath, too. Though you don’t have to tell her I said so.”  Barek rose from the chair and started cleaning up the chair and pot he had demolished during his rage.

              Taking her cue from Barek, Arwenna busied herself in the kitchen area. In short order, the makings of a decent meal were gathered.

              The door burst open, a gust of cold wind tearing through the cottage announcing Joss and Y’Dürkie’s return. Barek was up in an instant, sword in hand, before seeing the familiar figures come into the light. Arwenna waited for them to get inside and latched the door shut behind them before relaxing.

              “Sorry it took us so long,” Y’Dürkie shrugged the small deer off her shoulders. “The area is almost completely void of any game, includink rabbits. It took us a good hike to find this,” she pointed at the doe, “and it does not look like much either.”

              Joss had found a spot near the fire, rubbing his hands in an attempt to warm them. “It’s like the entire area’s been taken over by some kind of rot or decay. A druid came through and blessed this grove most likely, or we wouldn’t have found anything.”

              Barek took a look at the deer, then at the dripping form of Y’Dürkie. “You didn’t even clean it yet. How are we supposed to cook it like that?”  He nudged the dead animal with the toe of his boot.

              Y’Dürkie gave him a quick glance and then looked at Arwenna, confusion on her face. “Do not vorry, Barek. I vas not goink to leave it like that. Give me a minute to get varm and I vill head out to the stables to get it skinned. You vill have a good dinner yet.”  Before he could move, Y’Dürkie bent down, picked the deer up, and headed out the door.

              With a sigh, Barek darted out the door after her, hollering for her to wait.

              Arwenna watched them leave, a small part of her relaxing. It was going to take her and Barek a few days to get back to normal after what happened tonight. She grabbed a towel off of a hook and tossed it at Joss. “Use that. Some of us are going to have to sleep on the floor and probably won’t appreciate a puddle.”

              Joss caught the towel and bent down to wipe up the puddle of water forming under him. “What’s happened, Arwenna?  The tension in here was thicker than porridge when we came in.”  He rose from his knees and walked across the room to return the towel.

              She stood in front of the sink, leaning on it for support. “Barek finally let me in on what the issue between the two of you has been. It wasn’t a particularly easy conversation.”