Dawn's Prelude (20 page)

“Go ahead.”

“It’s cold out here. Won’t you reconsider?”

Zerelda shook her head. “If you have something to say, say it here.”

Marston wanted to slap the woman. “Very well. You should know that I only came here with the greatest concerns for Lydia and the baby. The Grays have always looked out for their own, and the child she carries is my brother or sister.”

“I suppose the abuse she endured for twelve years was your father’s way of showing that concern and care. I cannot accept that anything has ever been done by your family in Lydia’s best interest.”

“You can think what you will, but there is something Lydia and you should know. My brother and I will not allow this child to be raised in such an uncivilized part of the world. The child’s welfare and education must be considered. Of course, should the baby be a girl, the education won’t be such a concern, but should it be a boy, then his upbringing will need to be overseen by men.”

Zerelda shifted the basket she carried to her left arm. “I believe I’ve heard enough to know that you hold no real consideration for Lydia. Therefore, I have no desire to listen to anything more.”

Marston stepped closer. “I want you to understand one thing, Miss Rockford. I am a powerful man with many friends. I won’t stand by and allow Lydia to ruin the life of my father’s child.”

“Are you threatening to take the baby from her?” Zerelda asked. “Because if you are, you should know that Lydia has a great many friends here, none of whom will allow you to bully and impose your will upon her.”

“I’m not threatening anyone. I have the ability to work through the legal systems of this land. I have judges and lawyers who owe me many favors. It shouldn’t be that hard to convince them that Lydia is not of sound mind. After all, she came here in a delicate condition—risking not only her life, but that of the baby.” He noted Zerelda’s obvious discomfort. She knew his words held merit. Lydia’s stories over the years were bound to have given her an understanding of the power the Gray men possessed and the force of their will.

“It’s just something you should keep in mind. Perhaps help Lydia to understand, as well.”

“I won’t trouble that poor child with idle threats.” Zerelda squared her shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. “Just as you are used to accomplishing things through your acquaintances, so too am I. I first have God on my side, which is enough to see me through anything. But second, I have a good many friends in positions of authority on this island. I doubt they would give it a second thought should I suggest to them that you need to be removed from this place in order to offer my niece greater protection.”

Marston was taken aback by her bold statement. This was not a woman who was easily coerced. “Very well, Miss Rockford. I had hoped to reason with you, but I see you are just as stubborn as your niece. Such thinking will only bode ill for you both.”

Zerelda laughed, further unnerving him. “Mr. Gray, your threats only serve to prove to me that my niece has shared nothing but the truth in regard to you and your family. I’m glad she chose to come live with me, and you should know that I will defend and protect her, no matter the cost. And I am not the only one to feel that way. Alaskans are a different kind of people, and you would do well to learn that now.”

She stalked off down the road without another glance. Marston wanted to demand that she return. In truth, he wanted to kill her for her insolent manner. The rage rushed through him, energizing him. He would make them all pay.

“I come bearing good news,” Kjell said, greeting Lydia at the cabin door.

“Marston has gone?”

“No, it’s not as good as that. The property sale is going through, and you are welcome to move into the main house anytime you like. Your letter from the bank was good enough to hold the place until the full exchange of funds can be arranged.”

Lydia smiled. “That is good news—the best, in fact. Come on in. Zerelda should be back soon, and she will be so excited to hear the details.”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you what you really longed to hear.” He eyed her sympathetically. “I wish there was some way to make the man leave, but he can’t be forced.”

“I know.” Lydia smoothed the calico blouse down over her bulging stomach and drew as deep a breath as she could. Zerelda had told her that it wouldn’t be long before the child would drop lower and ease the pressure on her lungs. Lydia hoped it would be soon.

“I’m glad you’ve decided to stay,” Kjell said, following her. He helped her into her rocking chair and added, “I know it pleases Zee, as well.”

“It seems the reasonable thing to do, at least for the time,” Lydia said, placing her hand atop her expanded waist. “Besides, I’ve come to love it here. I find it both peaceful and restorative. It seems Sitka has a way of wiping away my memories of the past. I never thought anything could do that.”

He smiled and pulled up a chair. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

Lydia felt her cheeks warm as she studied his handsome face. She had come to accept her feelings for him, although she had never spoken of them—not even to Zerelda. She’d never known the sensation of being in love before. It came to her as something of a shock at first, but now—now that she was more used to the idea—it came as a fulfillment of all she had missed in life. The emptiness she had once known was gradually being replaced with a fullness of spirit and heart that Lydia had only hoped to experience.

“You keep staring at me like that and I’m probably going to kiss you again.”

She laughed. “What a punishment that would be!” She saw his grin double in size. “Kjell, I never thought I would be happy, but I am. You have been so good to me—such a dear friend.”

“I’d like to be more than a friend,” he said, his voice low and husky.

Lydia felt her heart skip a beat. She swallowed hard. She knew he would most certainly propose to her. Did she want that?

Could she accept such a proposal? For a moment her own fears overwhelmed her and she looked away.

Kjell leaned forward to take hold of her face. He gently turned her back to face him. “You must know how I feel about you.”

Lydia surprised them both by getting to her feet quickly. She was so awkward these days, but she found it impossible to remain seated. “I do know,” she began. “I suppose I’ve at least suspected for some time. My own feelings have taken me by surprise, I must admit. I never came here expecting to . . .” She paused and looked back at him. Dare she say the words?

“You didn’t come here expecting to what?” he asked, coming to take hold of her arms.

Lydia found her courage. “I didn’t expect to fall in love.”

He gently touched her cheek. “And is that what happened?”

She nodded, unable to speak. Her heart raced at his touch, and despite the baby’s bulk between them, she couldn’t help but put her hand up to mimic his action. She felt the warmth of his skin and trailed her fingers along his jaw.

He pulled her close and kissed her with great passion. Lydia clung to him for fear the moment might end too soon. She heard him sigh as if the kiss were the culmination of a long, arduous journey.

“Marry me, Lydia. Let me take care of you—love you.” He trailed kisses along her jaw.

The words sobered her momentarily. “Kjell.” She pulled back just a bit. “I’m going to have a baby very soon.”

He laughed. “I hadn’t noticed.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “It’s just that . . . well, this child is important to me. I cannot put it aside, even for your love.”

This made him frown. “Lydia, what kind of man do you think I am?”

“I know so little of men, except the very worst of them. I know you are different, Kjell, but I still have my fears. This baby will need a father who can love him or her with all of his heart. Can you give this child that pledge?”

He put his hand to her stomach. “I can and I do. I want nothing more than to share this child with you. I would never have considered asking you to marry me if I felt otherwise. I love children—I wanted to have them with Raisa, and now I desire only to have them with you.”

Lydia felt the truth of his statement deep in her heart. “I had a horrible marriage, you know. My husband was not kind—in fact, he was cruel. He . . . he hurt me . . . often.”

Pulling her into his arms, Kjell wrapped her in a warm embrace. “I’m not that man. I will never do those things to you.”

“But what if . . . what if I . . .” She couldn’t find the words to explain. How could she explain that intimacy terrified her? How could she hope for him to understand that she had never been shown the slightest bit of consideration as a wife?

“Lydia, what is it you’re trying to tell me? Just say what you want me to know.”

She lowered her chin, unable to meet his gaze. “What if I can’t be a good wife to you? What if I’m not pleasing?”

He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look up. “I think I understand,” he whispered. “Please know that I will be understanding of your needs. I would never betray your trust in me.” His expression was so very tender. “Lydia, do you love me?”

She nodded. “I do.”

“And I love you. I have from almost the first minute you fainted into my arms.” He smiled and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “I had just told a friend of mine that if God wanted to give me a wife, He would have to put one in my arms. And then there you were.”

“You believe God brought us together?” she asked curiously.

Zerelda had often spoken of God ordering things in such a way to bring about His will.

“I do believe it,” he replied. “Lydia, I know your heart is fearful of trusting—both God and me—but I want you to know that while I might make mistakes and disappoint, God never will.”

“I’d like to believe that,” Lydia said, “but it’s just so hard. After all, God was never there for me in all those troubled years of my youth. I tried to pray and believe, but He was sadly absent.”

Kjell shook his head. “He was never absent, Lydia. Neither was He pleased with what was happening. But whether you realized it or not, He never left you to face it on your own. He was there for you then, just as He is here for you now. He wants to be your comfort and salvation, and He’s the only one who can truly heal you from all the hurts and wounds given you over the years.”

Something in Lydia’s soul craved the truth he spoke—longed for the hope he offered. Could she trust God—love Him as Zerelda promised He loved her?

She felt like a child taking a leap from a hayloft. “I want to try,”she whispered. “I want very much to know Him.”

Kjell’s eyes dampened with tears, surprising Lydia. “All you have to do is ask. Believe in Jesus and trust that He will save you, and He will.”

Lydia considered his explanation for a moment. For much of her life, she had blamed God for her troubles. Could she really let go of the past and press on with a new heart, a new hope? She felt a warmth spread over her—a wonderful warmth that felt like nothing she’d ever known before. Her heart seemed to leap for joy. It was the right thing; it was the true thing. Looking up at Kjell, Lydia let her own tears come. “I believe, Kjell. I do believe.”

Chapter 16

O
h, but this is wonderful news!” Zerelda fairly danced a jig. Her pleasure at the announcement that Lydia had made peace with God and accepted Kjell’s proposal was clearly evident.

Kjell grinned. “I thought you might approve.” He put his arm around Lydia. “Not only that, but Liddie’s bid for the property was acceptable to the agent.”

“And does that meet well with you?” Zerelda asked, looking back and forth from Lydia to Kjell.

“Why wouldn’t it?” he questioned.

Lydia looked at her aunt curiously. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be acceptable?”

“Well, Kjell is a man, and he might find that it hurts his pride to have his wife provide the money to buy their home.” She fixed her gaze on Kjell. “If that is something that bothers you, you should work it out now.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t bother me. God has always provided for me in one manner or another. I have nothing that hasn’t been given me through Him. I’m not at all concerned about this transaction. I know Lydia has a great deal of wealth. It doesn’t interest me, except that she is happy and has what she needs for the baby.”

Lydia smiled. Floyd would never have agreed to such a thing.

He might have taken her money and then conducted his own purchases, but he would never have allowed her to make any decision about their future.

It touched her deeply that Kjell was so different from the other men she’d known. If he could be different, then other men could, as well. The world wouldn’t necessarily have to be filled with cruel tyrants who only wanted to use and hurt women.

“When will you marry?”

“The sooner, the better,” Lydia said, surprising herself as well as the others.

Kjell laughed out loud and gave her shoulders a squeeze. “I’m such a great catch, she’s afraid I’ll get away.”

Zerelda nodded with a smile. “And well she should be. You are the best man in Sitka.”

“Yes, but I have eyes for no one but Liddie. She needn’t worry about me slipping away.”