Days of New: The Complete Collection (Serials 1-5) (62 page)

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Dante whispered, turning on the bedroom’s soft light. Maya sank onto the bed and looked at the little demon.

“Thank you,” she said with a sad smile. “He was a good angel.”

Dante nodded like he knew about good angels. Downstairs, the front door slammed and the house grew quiet. Dante crossed to the room’s window and looked out. “They're leaving,” he said.

Maya heard the wind buffeting against the house as nearly a thousand angels took flight. She wondered if Lucifer had left her behind, just like she’d told him to. If she had any tears left, she would cry for herself.

“Maya?” Lucifer knocked on the door before opening it a crack. Dante jumped back from the window like he’d been caught stealing.

Lucifer stepped into the room, his features lost to the low light so that Maya couldn’t read his expression. She didn’t know if he was mad at her, but then, she didn’t really care.

“Give us a minute,” Lucifer commanded to Dante.

Maya jumped to her feet. “Don’t boss him around like that!” Dante cringed at her words, sinking into the shadows along the wall and rushing out of the room like a little mouse scuttling away from a hungry cat. “He’s my friend! And his name is Dante.”

Lucifer stiffened at her tirade, his jaw clenching. But he nodded. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Maya sank back onto the bed, not feeling like she’d won anything at all. “Thank you,” she managed.

“Who died?” Lucifer asked quietly, not crossing the room to her.

“Zarachiel.”

If hearing of Z’s death bothered him, Lucifer didn’t let it show on his face. He took the news in stride. “Please come with me. We have to leave here. It’s not safe for anyone.”

“I can’t sit back and watch those two ruin you.”

Lucifer’s anger heated the room like the entire house had been set ablaze. “They’ll never hurt you again.”

Maya rolled her eyes. “I’m more worried about what they’ll do to you.” At Lucifer’s confusion, she continued. “They want to take your old spot in Hell. They’re just using you. Once you’ve done all you can, they’ll likely kill you.”

“Who said that?” Lucifer asked, shocked once again.

“It’s obvious to anyone who watches them around you! They’re evil, Lucifer!”

Lucifer relaxed. “I thought you didn’t believe in evil?”

Maya shivered. “They tried to kill me tonight. They’re quickly changing my mind.”

“About me too?”

The question broke her heart, but what could she say? She just shrugged, unable to meet his eyes.

“Please come with me,” he pleaded once again.

Maya shook her head and looked toward the darkened window. “You’ve already made your decision. You’re going to fight Gabriel and take Clark’s magic.”

“Maya,” Lucifer said, sighing. “I was always going to choose that. That’s who I am.”

“So what’s the point in me coming with you? If I can’t keep you from that decision, what good am I with you? I haven’t saved you. I haven’t made any difference at all. You’re still going to make the decision that will destroy us all. And for what? Because those twins whisper in your ear? Because you think this is what you’re supposed to do? I realize now that I was crazy to think I could stop all this bad stuff from happening. No matter what, we were always going to end up in this very moment, having this very conversation. All these decisions that brought us here can’t be undone. You know why Z didn’t want Clark to heal his back? Because he wanted to atone for the angels’ sins through his pain. And now he’s dead. So what was all that atonement worth? We’re still here, sinning over and over again. And for what? A ruined world with humans who blow up their own kind? Or for a magic of dead angels? Zarachiel was wrong about his atonement. He didn’t need the pain. Every day we have to live in this world with angels is an atonement because we can see the end coming, but we just keep crashing right toward it. Knowing we’re all about to die is the greatest atonement I can imagine.”

Lucifer crossed to Maya and sat beside her on the bed, careful to keep enough distance between their bodies that they didn’t touch. Looking at his hands, he said, “You sound like you believe in Fate after all.”

“No,” Maya said bitterly, “I believe in angels who are too stubborn to pull their heads out of their asses and take a look around at all the destruction they’re causing. Zarachiel died. He was the best of them. And what do they do? What is their first response? To start more fighting. To kill. To destroy. That’s not what Z would have wanted. That’s not what he stood for. But no one cares. Because angels are
nothing
. Nothing but entitlement and narcissism. You’re all a bunch idiots, if you ask me.”

“Thanks,” Lucifer said, his face cracking into a small smile.

“You’re welcome.”

“I still want you to come with me, even though you think it won’t make a difference. Knowing you’re safe will make a difference to me.”

“You haven’t heard anything I’ve said, have you? Don’t you see? You’re so fixated on this idea of keeping me safe, like it’s your responsibility or something, yet you will take me right into the heart of the fight. A fight that will kill us all.”

“I—” Lucifer frowned, clearly this thought just occurring to him.

“Didn’t think of that, did you?” Maya shook her head.

“Maya,” Lucifer started, raking a hand through his hair, ruffling it beyond repair. “I’m sorry about Zarachiel. I know you must have been close to him. He was a good angel.”

Maya turned away and strode across her room to the window. From there, she could see the moon, glimmering and gibbous far above her. “I should have been there with him when he died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

The tears came then, and Maya shuddered from the force of them. She would never see Z again, never hear his laugh or feel his comforting touch. Lucifer was right: Z was a great angel and an even better friend. He had renewed her faith in angels, especially Archangels. He’d reminded her that there were still things worth fighting for here on Earth. He didn’t deserve to die.

“I’m sorry,” Lucifer said, keeping his voice low, even though they were likely the last people in the house. “Is there anything I can do?”

Maya smiled sadly, still looking up at the moon. “Can you take me away? Far away to a place where we can never come back?”

“You’re not the type to run away from trouble.”

“No,” Maya admitted. “But I do want to catch my breath. To just relax for a split second. To be far enough away from everything that I can get some perspective. I just…I just need to breathe for a second.” Laughter bubbled up her throat. “Can you do that? Take me someplace where I can catch my breath?”

“Where would you like to go?”

Turning back to her window, she said, “How about the moon?”

“Then the moon it is.”

“Really?” Maya asked, shocked.

“Really.”

With that, he took her hand and together they walked out onto her balcony. He didn’t say a word as he took to the sky, pulling Maya tight against his chest. She’d breathed in his scent, filling her lungs with pure Lucifer, as the night’s air played through her loosened hair. Though the night was unnaturally warm, Maya still shivered.

“Are you cold?” Lucifer asked, directing the words into her ear so that she could hear him over the sound of his wings pulsing against the air.

“I’m okay!” Maya shouted back. “Can you turn me around? So I can see?”

Maya gestured with her hand, but Lucifer understood. Slowing his ascent, he paused in the air, making Maya feel like Lois Lane in the arms of Superman. Lucifer didn’t see her grin as he carefully maneuvered her in his arms, making sure that his grip on her stayed certain. Soon enough, her back was to his chest, his arms firmly around her torso. She’d never felt more secure in all her life.

“Better?”

Maya nodded. From here, she saw the blazing white of Lucifer’s house and the still-smoking fires from the numerous chimneys. She wondered if Dante was already heading toward the fight or if he’d been left behind to keep the house safe. She hoped, for his sake, that he’d stayed behind. She couldn’t bear anything happening to him too.

Soon enough, the house became just a white smudge against a dark landscape. Lucifer drew her up through the clouds, which wisped around her like a winter rainstorm. Lucifer quickly ascended past the cloud layer, and when Maya looked down again, the world had disappeared.

She looked up and gasped.

Above them, all she could see was the black night sky, pinpricks of stars, and one very large, very up-close moon. She felt like she could reach out and touch its silvery surface, like it was merely an edible wafer dangling just beyond the reach of her fingertips.

“It’s amazing!” she called back to Lucifer.

“Is this far enough away for you? Can you breathe up here?”

Maya didn’t need to turn around to hear the smile in his voice. She snuggled deeper into his arms. And breathed. Up here, with him, she caught her breath. And it was amazing. This far away, things didn’t feel so bad. Flying away from the world didn’t bring Zarachiel back, but it helped ease the ache in her chest.

But Lucifer was right. She couldn’t just run away. She had to face her troubles.

“Lucifer?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you going to this fight? Why confront Gabriel? Why even bother with the magic on Clark’s arms? Clark can barely use it himself. Do you think you will be different?”

Lucifer was quiet for so long that Maya thought he hadn’t heard her. She didn’t have the energy to repeat herself. She’d given up on an answer when he finally said, “What will I have without this fight?”

Startled by his response, Maya craned her head back to look at him, but his features were lost to the darkness. Not even the bright moon’s light could cut through the shadows around him. “What do you mean?”

“If I don’t fight, I’ll lose the faith of my angels. They look to me to lead them. If I don’t go to Gabriel and fight him, they will think me weak. All that I am will be lost. And without Clark’s magic, I will still be a weak, half-crazy has-been. Without this fight, I will lose everything. I’ll lose you.”

“Me?” Maya struggled in his arms until he turned her around. His wings undulated over his shoulders in singular, strong beats that kept them aloft and created a constant breeze against her skin. “Why will you lose me if you don’t fight?”

“Because I’m fighting for all the things that make me
me
. Without this fight, I’m lost. Even more lost. Right now, I’m this mad angel with no purpose. If I can win today, I can win me back. And then…then you will love me.”

“Lucifer.” Maya searched his face, twining her fingers through his hair. “I love you now.”

But he shook his head and bowed his forehead against hers. “People don’t love ugly things.”

His words were so quiet that Maya barely caught them. But when she understood them, she wanted to cry. She gripped his face harder until he finally looked at her.

“You’re not an ugly thing.”

“I’m a devil. I’m the ugliest thing possible. But if I fight, then at least I’m the devil I’m supposed to be. Then you will understand me. And if you still love me, it will be for the right reasons.”

“But I love you now!”

Lucifer shook his head. “That’s impossible.”

Maya had no clue how to convince him of her love. Once again, her eyes sought out the moon, like it might hold her answers. If she were the praying sort, now would be the time. She was thinking of how she could convince him for so long that he finally said, “We need to go. Have you caught your breath?”

“Lucifer, you know how some Nephilim have powers left over from the Watcher blood in our veins?”

“Yes. Do you?”

Maya shook her head. “I didn’t think I did. I’ve never felt special. Sophia was always the special one. Our family doesn’t have powerful abilities, not like Clark and his mom. But I’d always felt like my faith—or lack of—set me apart. Made me stronger somehow. But now I think I do have an ability.”

“You do?”

“They say that loving you—loving the devil—is impossible. And maybe it is. Heaven knows how much everyone hates you. Why am I so different? But that’s just it. I am different. I
do
love you. Very much. So that’s my ability—my great superpower. I can love you. I can love the impossible. All along, maybe this right here is what I was created for. Maybe all the things that made me different from the other Nephilim were just so I could love you. Maybe all those times I hated myself for not being powerful enough to keep myself from a hideous arranged marriage, maybe those times were just meant to bring me here, with you. So that I could love you.”

“I—”

“No,” Maya interrupted. “Don’t say anything. Because that was a really great moment for me.” She smiled widely at him, feeling the truth to her words deep in her bones. Loving him really was her superpower. The thing that made her special. She’d done the impossible. “And I don’t want you to ruin my really great moment by being all self-depreciating, okay? So let’s go to the fight. But I want you to think about what I said. That I can love you. That I do love you. Think about that. And then, when we get there, we can talk about why you still need to fight. And if you do fight, well, I’ll still love you after. Okay?”