Daystar (49 page)

Lucifer held her tight.
 
“I do not believe He has ever considered the feelings of others, Dahlia.
 
I was His to use as He wished.
 
He saw a role that would require me and He used me for it.
 
My death was worth the returns.”

She nodded.
 
“A difference between Him and you.”

Lucifer kissed her hair.
 
“There are many.”

She shook her head.
 
“No, no, I think that is the most important, the only one that matters.”

Lucifer frowned.
 
“Surely there are more, His power alone is enough.”

Dahlia blinked back tears.
 
“Fuck the power.
 
He is depraved.
 
You were an innocent; you would have done anything for Him.
 
You
loved
Him.”

“I went into the void knowing it could mean my death.
 
I was innocent yes, but not stupid.”

“Yet you did it anyways.”

He nodded.
 
“I loved Him and His wishes were mine.
 
Doing His will, dying for it would have brought me absolute happiness.”
 
He stroked her hair.
 
“I wonder why I did not die if He believed it to be so.”

She frowned.
 
“I told you, He is not omniscient.
 
I do not think He realized our joining would also mean a joining of our realms to create this one.
 
Perhaps your death was more hope than knowledge.”

“Why would He hope for my death when He could have extinguished me Himself in an instant?”

Her expression darkened.
 
“He did not want to do it.
 
With this, you died not at His hand but mine.”

Lucifer shook his head.
 
“That does not make sense.
 
If He had wished me dead, I would have been dead.”

She gazed into his eyes.
 
“He could not bring himself to do the deed.”

He frowned.
 
“With everything else that we have seen, you believe there are limits to what He would do?”

Dahlia nodded.
 
“I do, Lucifer.
 
Regardless of what came later, you were special to Him then.
 
There was sadness in His presence when He made the decision.”

“Of course, I was the first made.”

“More than that I think.”

Lucifer pulled her into a kiss.
 
“You worry yourself with the past too much, we need to see to the future.”

She bit his lip.
 
“Our future is built from our past, and we ignore it to our detriment.”

Lucifer’s eyes were luminous.
 
He kissed her deeply.
 
“Then continue to think on it, or try to.”
 
He smiled.
 
“I would like to think on you for a time.”

Dahlia pinched him.
 
“What about planning ahead!”

He pinched her back.
 
“But you do that so well, I bet you already have several plans.
 
Do you not?”

“Should we not be on the same page as you mentioned earlier?”

Lucifer shrugged.
 
“You, I am sure, have planned contingencies for me acting as I always do, without thinking.
 
Whether I know or not, you have plans for it.”

She grimaced.
 
“I hate you sometimes.”

He laughed.
 
“Then your hate is an adorable thing.”

***

Jegudiel stepped into his bedroom and shut the door behind him quietly.
 
He let out the breath he had been holding in.
 
Furcas and Paimon laughed downstairs; they were already setting in on a meal and drinks.
 
Bean sang along with some music that Jegudiel found highly inappropriate for children.
 
They’d offered him a place at the table, but Jegudiel did not feel like indulging in food.
 

He sighed and leaned against the door.
 
He was covered in dried blood, ovals of healed teeth marks and streaks of scratches.

He stomped into his bathroom muttering about responsible parenting.
 
He stripped as he walked.
 
Jegudiel shut the bathroom door and jumped straight into the shower, his solitary place.
 
The one room that no one entered but him.
 
He turned on the hot water and let his muscles relax.

He stared at the drain and watched as the rust-colored water slowly turned clear.
 
He leaned his head on the stone and tile and let the water pour over his back.
 
Jegudiel hummed and grabbed for various soaps.
 
That was one benefit about living with Paimon and Furcas, Furcas had a seemingly never-ending and varied supply of soaps, cleaning products, and strange spongy things that Jegudiel had fallen in love with.

Jegudiel contemplated leaving their home for the tenth time that day or at least hiding again, but something held him back.
 

A crash rocked the walls.
 

Jegudiel grinned; he had to admit he enjoyed being part of a family, albeit a perverted, violent one.
 

Bean’s laughter carried from downstairs.
 

He sighed.
 
Bean, even
Bean
could be pleasant when she wasn’t biting him, and he did enjoy learning to read and write with her.
 
He smiled.
 
She wasn’t all that bad.

He rinsed his hair off and hummed.

The door to the bathroom opened and closed.

Jegudiel froze.
 
He set his jaw.
 
“If you two are fucking in my bathroom while I’m in it, I swear I will kill you!
 
I am not kidding!”

There was no response.

Jegudiel turned the water off and reached blindly for a towel.
 
He grabbed one and threw back the shower curtain.
 
Bean sat on the countertop staring at her feet.
 
Jegudiel gaped and wrapped the towel around his waist in a panic.
 
He waited to be bitten, scratched, or mauled, but she stayed on the counter.

Jegudiel ducked his head to get a better look at her face.
 
“Bean?”

Her eyes darted up to his.
 
She was taller, lankier, she looked about ten now.
 
She must have aged downstairs.
 
She wore one of Furcas’ smaller t-shirts like a nightgown.
 
Her semi-transparent wings went right through the material.
 
Jegudiel tied his towel tight and stepped out the shower.
 
“Bean, you are not supposed to enter other people’s rooms when they’re in them.
 
That’s a house rule.”

Bean nodded.
 
“I know.”
 

Jegudiel shook the water out of his hair and leaned on the wall across from the counter.
 
“Are you okay?”

She shook her head.
 
“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk about something?
 
I know!”
 
He smiled.
 
“Why don’t we go downstairs?
 
We can go over letters again.”

“I don’t want to.”
 
She made a face.

“What about games?”

“I don’t want to.”
 
She shook her head.

“We could play your favorite—”

“I don’t want to do children things anymore!”
 
Bean’s eyes flashed bright, full of tears.
 
“I don’t want to!”

Jegudiel frowned.
 
“Bean, I don’t know what to do with you.
 
Help me out here.”

“I need a hug.”

Jegudiel opened his arms.
 
“Why didn’t you say so.
 
Come here.”

Bean leapt onto him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his chest.
 
She burst into tears as soon as she got a hold of him.
 
Jegudiel patted her back awkwardly with one hand, his other held on to his slipping towel.
 
“Bean, tell me what is wrong.”

She sniffled.
 
“I don’t want to be a kid anymore, Yoshi.”

Jegudiel smiled.
 
“Why’s that?
 
Kids seem to enjoy themselves here.
 
There are fun things to do in Eden.”

“I don’t want to do those things.”
 
She shook her head.
 
“And the kids here are naïve, they don’t know
anything
.
 
I can’t talk to any of them!
 
They’re
boring!
 
I want to relate to someone like me!”

Jegudiel smiled.
 
“Well, I will talk to you if you promise not to bite me anymore.”

Bean nodded.
 
“Done.”

Jegudiel blinked in surprise.
 
“Really?”

She wiped her eyes.
 
“I only did that because I wanted your attention.”

Jegudiel frowned and let her down.
 
“Why didn’t you just ask for it?”

“The thought never occurred to me.”
 
Bean looked up into his eyes.
 
“Mommy-daddy hit and bite each other when they want each other’s attention.
 
Isn’t that what everyone does?”

Jegudiel rolled his eyes.
 
“They’re not the best role models, Bean.
 
Besides they’re a
couple
that’s what they do.”

Bean stared at her feet.
 
“I want that.”

“What?”

“What they have.”

“Well they are adults.”
 
Jegudiel smiled and patted her on the head.
 
“But I am sure one day you’ll meet a wonderful person and fall in love and you’ll have someone.”

“But I already love
you
.
 
Why should I find someone else?”

Jegudiel froze.
 
“Bean.”

Bean leapt up and kissed him on the mouth.
 

Jegudiel pushed her off him.
 
“No!
 
Bad, Bean!”

Bean looked confused.
 
“Why not?”

Jegudiel held her at arm’s length.
 
“I am an—I am older than
you
, you are a…just a—”

“Kid.”
 
Bean grimaced.
 
“Child,
baby
.”
 
She met his gaze.
 
“I am not a child, Yoshi.”
 
She closed her eyes and aged.
 
She grew taller.
 
The clothes she wore split at the seams as her hips flared out and she grew breasts.
 

Jegudiel found himself holding on to a young woman, not a girl.
 
Bean opened her purple eyes and gazed up at him.
 
She took a step back and shook out her long purple hair.
 
Jegudiel took a breath involuntarily.
 
She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen and she was nervous.
 

In that unguarded look, Jegudiel’s heart skipped a beat.
 
The air between them was sweet and light.
 
He choked.
 
“Oh no!
 
No, no, no!
 
Not
you!
”

Bean pulled off her ill-fitting shirt and stepped into the arms that were out to keep her away.
 
“You are seventeen physically, now I am sixteen.
 
We are the same.
 
Now you can kiss me.”
 
She leaned forward to kiss him.

Jegudiel put his hand over her mouth.
 
“Bean!”

She frowned and spoke through the palm of his hand, “What?”

Jegudiel’s heart raced out of control.
 
“Besides how wrong this is because of your
age
, your parents will
castrate
me if they find you here like this so please get out!”

“They won’t find out.”
 
Bean rolled her eyes.
 
“I thought of that, dummy.”

Jegudiel saw something in her eyes that made him pause.
 
“What did you do?”

“I put drugs in their wine and then tied them up.
 
They should be out for a few solid hours by my calculations.
 
Don’t worry though; I left them on their bed, so they’re comfy!”

“Fuck, Bean!
 
You are leaving this room, marching downstairs, and untying them now!”