Dead and Dateless (27 page)

It wasn’t like I’d been able to stand idly by and let a crazed Other stake my best friend’s intended. I’d intervened, of course, and I’d gotten it in the shoulder.

“My brothers took him out,” I told Ty. “After I fainted, they attacked him.”

“Which means he can’t be out to get you.”

“No, but his family might be. I know that if something happened to me, my family would be really pissed.” Then again, at the rate I was going…“Maybe they’re mad enough to want to punish me.”

“Did he have any family?”

“I’m sure he does. Everybody has family.” Except made vampires.

I saw the strange look that passed over his face and I had the sudden urge to reach out. Thankfully, the look passed as quickly as it had come, and I stayed rooted to the couch.

He seemed to think. “It’s possible.”

“It’s more than possible. That’s it. It has to be it.” I smiled. “It’s his family. They have it in for me. That explains everything.”

“Maybe” was all he said as he walked back to his laptop.

“A little enthusiasm wouldn’t hurt, you know? Maybe a ‘Gee, Lil, that’s totally Einstein of you.’”

“You should have mentioned it in the first place.”

“I didn’t remember.” In fact, I did my best not to remember getting staked. Not only had it hurt, but now I was forever linked to a made vampire who was so
not
my type.

I watched as he punched in some information and sent a few e-mails before pushing to his feet.

“I’ve got some things to do. I’ll be back.”

I ignored the strange emptiness that settled around me whenever he walked out the door. Namely be cause I was
not
empty. And I
wanted
him to walk out the door.

It made working and falling asleep easier when he wasn’t a strip and a pounce away.

Much
easier, I told myself, basking in the newfound information and turning my attention back to my makeover outline.

One problem down, one to go.

“It feels really warm,” Lloyd said on Thursday night as I spread the warm wax onto his right shoulder.

I’d set up a chair in the storeroom of Morty’s Commissary when I’d arrived just after sunset. After clearing some space on one of the wall-to-wall shelves, between the Pringles and the Cheez Whiz, I’d unpacked the care package from Evie which had included not only the requested items, but a pair of latex gloves.

Yep, Evie and I were soul sisters, all right.

“It’s sort of soothing,” Lloyd said as I smoothed.

“Glad to hear you say that.” I scooped more of the wax I’d just nuked in the small microwave that sat next to a Mr. Coffee on one of the shelves, and slathered it onto Lloyd’s skin. “It’s always best to focus on the positive in these kinds of situations.”

As if the thought had just struck, he stiffened. “It’s not going to hurt, is it?”

“Maybe a little.”

“How little?”

“Relax. Women do it all the time. It can’t be that bad, right?”

“True.”

I rubbed a piece of cloth over the wax, gripped the edge and
rrrrrrip
!

Lloyd screamed.

Then again, women gave birth all the time, too, and it was common knowledge that that hurt like a sonofabitch.

“There, there.” I patted his opposite shoulder with my gloved hand. “It can’t be that bad.”

“You…” He panted. “It…” More panting. “I can’t…” Inandoutandinandout.

“Easy, big guy. The first time is always the worst.”

“R-really?” he finally managed after more panting interspersed with a little wheezing.

“Sure. From here on out, it’s smooth sailing. See, your body is buzzing with intense pain which keeps it from noticing less intense pain.” I smoothed more wax onto the next hairy patch and rubbed the cloth strip on top. “Just count to five, brace yourself, and I’ll pull. Okay?”

His head bobbed and he rasped, “One, two, three—
ffffuck
!”

“I guess that one hurt, too?” He called me several choice names. “So much for the element of surprise.” I smoothed more wax onto his ultra hairy skin. “If it’s any consolation, you’re starting to look mega hunky.”

“R-really?”

I eyed the pink patches of raw skin and tried not to wince. “Sure.”

“In that case, I g-guess it’s w-worth it. You say this woman is really h-hot?”

“The hottest.” At least, I was pretty sure, even though I hadn’t actually met the Alpha Doody lover. Viola was attractive and weren’t all werewolves just hairier, fangless versions of vampires? Since we were all real lookers, I was assuming the same could be said for our fellow weres.

At least, I was hoping.

More smoothing, another
rrrrrrip
! and Lloyd burst into tears.

“There, there, Lloyd. It’s just a little harmless wax. If you carry on like this, what’s going to happen when I pull out the superglue?”

I
stared into the small bathroom mirror early Friday evening and eyed my reflection. I wore my black and white Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress with the cap sleeves and my python and leather Vivia sandals—the same outfit I’d been wearing when Ty and I had fled from the cops.

While it wasn’t my first choice—which would be my black Dolce & Gabbana suit with the Francesco Biasia bag—for meeting my most important client to date, it would have to do.

At least I hadn’t been snuggled in Ty’s bed wearing boxers and a ratty old tee when the cops had shown up. Talk about deep shit.

I drew in a full, easy breath in an effort to ease the frantic pounding of my heart.

No luck.

I killed the whole breathing effort, gathered my courage, and reached for the doorknob. My heart beat a Metallica drum solo as I walked out of the bathroom and headed for the kitchen, where Ty sat hunched over his laptop.

He wore faded jeans and nothing else. His back was broad and muscular, his arms well defined. His long, dark hair rested against his neck and I had the sudden urge to run my fingers through it.

Or I would’ve had the sudden urge, except that I was a committed professional with one thing on her mind: satisfying Viola and raking in the rest of my cash. Okay, so that qualified as two things. The point was—work, not play.

Got that?

Ty obviously shared my dedication because he didn’t so much as glance up as I walked around the table and slid into the seat opposite him.

Since I’d thought of the pissed off were-family angle, he’d been neck deep running background checks on the jealous werewolf’s mother, father, sisters, brothers, cousins, second cousins, third cousins, fourth cousins, aunts, uncles, grandfathers, grandmothers, great grandfathers, great grandmothers (what’d I tell ya?).

Out of two hundred sixty-two relatives, Ty had found at least two leads worth pursuing. One of the wolf’s brothers had done time for assault, while a female cousin recently had a restraining order put against her by an ex-boyfriend. Both situations confirmed one thing—crazy ass relatives capable of violence.

I cleared my throat. “Nice night.”

He merely grunted.

Distracted. That was good. It meant that he wasn’t really listening. So when I announced, very matter-of-factly, that I was leaving to meet Lloyd, there was a microscopic chance that he might not even hear me.

I’d never been one to worry over odds, so I opened my mouth. “I’m—”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

“You’re not going.”

“I have to go.”

He punched a final button and closed the lid of the laptop. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. Muscles bulged and my stomach hollowed out. His gaze roved over me.

“Why didn’t you just go out the bathroom window?” he finally asked.

I motioned to the Vivias. “In these shoes?”

“You could have morphed,” he pointed out. “Bats don’t wear shoes.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That you could have, but you didn’t.”

“Surely you’re not implying that I have a conscience?” That I might possibly feel some obligation to the one person actually going out of his way to help me? “Yeah, right.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“My night vision is acting up.” There. That was the truth. Part of it, anyway.

He stared at me long and hard before he seemed to come to a conclusion. Then he reached for a half-empty bottle of blood he’d been nursing and slid it across the table toward me.

The sweet, intoxicating scent teased my nostrils and I felt the sharp edge of my fangs against my tongue. My fingers itched to reach out.

Just one taste and all my worries would be over.

No more wanting and aching and fantasizing.

About the blood, I mean.

As for Ty, I had the feeling I could gorge myself for hours on end and never get enough.

Which was why I kept my fangs to myself and balled my hands in my lap. “No, thanks.”

“Come on. You’ll feel better.”

If only. “I drank earlier.”

“I didn’t see you.”

“You don’t see everything.”

“Don’t kid yourself.”

My mind raced back to the previous day when he’d stripped down to his BVDs and I’d eyed him from the loft. Unknowingly, or so I’d thought. Judging from the sudden light in his eyes, I had a feeling he’d been all too aware. Of my stares and what I’d been doing with my…

Easy, girl.

“You’re a vampire. You have to drink.”

“Look who’s telling who. I’ve been around for five hundred years. I think I know that.”

“So what’s up?”

“I already told you. I had a few sips here and there. Listen, I have to go tonight. I swear I’ll be careful. I’ll keep a very low profile and I won’t talk to anyone except Viola. And Lloyd. And the other men. And, of course, the NUNS. I’ll have to talk to them. And if Viola has any guests, then I’ll be obliged to say hello and be at least civil, but that’s it. Once midnight strikes, I’m outa there.”

“Send Evie.”

“Are you kidding? She doesn’t know about Viola, or me, or the mating orgy—I should be so lucky—about to commence in less than four hours.” When the clock struck midnight and the moon was at its fullest, the werewolves were at their horniest. “And I intend to make sure that my secret stays safe.”

“You should have hired a vampire instead of a human.” I arched an eyebrow and waited for his own words to sink in. “Forget I said that. You’re the only vampire who actually believes that people need to date in order to mate.”

I frowned. “I’m not the only one.” I was pretty sure that I’d made believers out of Wilson and Nina Two. They had found each other because of me. And then there were Francis and Melissa.

Then again he was a vampire and she was still a human, and so they weren’t really mating. Humping on a regular basis, yes. Mating? That implied commitment, which implied living out eternity and making baby vamps together, and it just wasn’t going to happen for them. Ever.

Even so, they seemed happy, which made me think again of Ty and his fabulous pecs and how much I’d really like to run my hands over his hard muscles and…

I shook away the seductive image that pushed its way into my head. Okay, so where was I?

Orgy. Midnight. Must go.

“Give me ten minutes to make the introductions, collect the rest of my fee, and ease the situation with Lloyd. I have to at least make sure he isn’t going to be eaten in a fit of anger. Then I’ll hang back until things get into full swing and leave. Cross my heart.” I made the motion and Ty shook his head.

“You’re the damndest vampire I’ve ever met.”

“Does that mean yes?”

“No.”

I stiffened. “Okay, fine. I didn’t want to have to pull rank on you, but you give me no choice.”

“Pull
what
?”

“Rank. I’m the born vamp here lest we forget. I’m the one in control.” I plopped an elbow on the table and motioned to him. “So come. Let’s get this over with. Winner chooses whether I go or stay.”

A smile tugged at his lips. “You want to arm wrestle?”

I shrugged. “I figure it will be easier on your ego than a full-blown ass whipping.”

The smile faded and his gaze darkened. “You’re serious?”

“As serious as you are scared.”

He braced his elbow on the table and gripped my hand. “You’re on, sugar.”

I should have drank the blood, I decided several minutes later as I intertwined my finger’s with Ty’s and did my damndest to hold my own.

I knew I was stronger. At least, I’d thought so. I’m a born vampire, after all, and five hundred years of training and conditioning wasn’t going to disappear in a matter of seconds.

Was it?

Ty
was
pretty strong. The muscles of his arm bulged with his effort. The neon glow of his eyes held mine and refused to let go. He looked determined and relaxed at the same time. The only clue that maybe, just maybe, I was putting it to him in a major way was the frantic beat of his pulse where the inside of his wrist met mine.

I gathered my determination and focused on a mental picture of Viola handing me another check, complete with a big, fat bonus for Lloyd. Then me going to the bank. Me paying my bills. Me heading off to Barney’s for that divine Hermès scarf I’d seen a couple of weeks ago—