Read Dead and Loving It Online
Authors: MaryJanice Alongi
“Erotically passionate!”
âChristine Feehan
“Entertaining, wicked, and delightful.”
â
Romance Reviews Today
“A must-read for fans who appreciate a humorous out-of-this-world taleâ¦fast-paced and filled with zingers.”
â
Midwest Book Review
“One of the funniest books I have ever read! MaryJanice Davidson has once again brought to life an independent, wisecracking heroineâ¦The story is fast-paced, the sex is hot, and the humor outrageous! I highly recommend this story to everyone.”
â
Paranormal Romance Reviews
“Classic MaryJanice Davidson, in that it had me laughing throughout the book. It is one of the most original story ideas I have read in a long time alsoâ¦[and] has the steamy love scenes that Ms. Davidson is known forâ¦Awesome.”
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The Best Reviews
“[A] wickedly clever and amusing romp. Davidson's witty dialogue, fast pacing, smart plotting, laugh-out-loud humor, and sexy relationships make this a joy to read.”
â
Booklist
“A hilarious romp full of goofy twists and turns, great fun for fans of humorous vampire romance.”
â
Locus
“This is one of the most erotic books that I've read in years.”
â
Escape to Romance
UNDEAD AND UNWED
UNDEAD AND UNEMPLOYED
UNDEAD AND UNAPPRECIATED
UNDEAD AND UNRETURNABLE
DERIK'S BANE
DEAD AND LOVING IT
BERKLEY SENSATION, NEW YORK
THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
“Santa Claws,” “Monster Love,” and “There's No Such Thing as a Werewolf” were originally published in e-book format.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Copyright © 2006 by MaryJanice Alongi.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
BERKLEY SENSATION is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
The “B” design is a trademark belonging to Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Davidson, MaryJanice.
Dead and loving it / MaryJanice DavidsonâBerkley Sensation trade pbk. ed.
p. cm.
Contents: Santa ClawsâMonster loveâThere's no such thing as a werewolfâA fiend in need.
ISBN 978-1-1012-0787-1
1. WerewolvesâFiction. 2. VampiresâFiction. I. Title.
PS3604.A949D43 2006
813'.6âdc22
2005058923
Thanks to my husband, who amuses the kids when I'm on deadline and thinks it's swell when I ignore the family for days to finish a story. (Hmm. That could be more a reflection on me than him, but never mind.)
Thanks also to my editor, Cindy, who asked me, when I was trying to figure out what to write for this collection, “How is George doing?”
Asked and answered, bay-bee!
A
lec Kilcurt, laird of Kilcurt Holding and the most powerful werewolf in Europe, stomped through the snow and slush and wished he were anywhere, anywhere but here.
He stopped and stood obediently with the rest of the herd, waiting for the light to change. Snow was spitting down on him with malice he could almost feel. It did nothing for his mood. He disliked leaving his home for any reason, but being called to America to pay homage to The Wonderful Child was a bit much.
And now he was shamed; his duty had never seemed a chore before. He admired and respected the pack leaders, Michael and Jeannie Wyndham. Michael was a good man and a fine leader; his wife was a crack shot cutie; and their baby, Lara, was adorable. Because the cooing, drooling infant was likely to be his next pack leader, Alec's presenceâthe presence of every country's werewolf headâhad been required for both political and practical reasons. The pack was some three hundred thousand werewolves strong; unity was both a desire and a necessity.
Unfortunately, visiting the Wyndhams in their happy home just exacerbated his own loneliness. He'd been searching for a mate for years, but hadâ¦how did the humans put it? Never found the right girl. He thought it was funny that human women complained their men didn't commit. An unattached werewolf male was likely to want to move in after the first date. What was a man, after all, without a mate, without cubs?
Nothing, that's what. Meeting baby Lara, aka The Wonderful Child, was a great relief; pack leaders without heirs made everyone nervous. Seeing Michael's happiness, on the other hand, was a torture.
Now his duty was done, and thank God. His plane left Boston tonight, and nothing was keeping him from it.
Faugh!
More snow! And not likely to be much better, even when he got home. Really, there was nothing to look forward to until spring. Others of his kind might enjoy romping through the slush on all fours, but here was one furry laird who hated getting his feet wet.
And Boston! Gray, drizzly, dreary Boston, which smelled like damp wool and exhaust. He felt like pulling his scarf over his nose to muffle the smells of
(peaches, ripe peaches)
unwashed masses and
(peaches)
He stopped suddenly and felt a one-two punch as the couple walking behind him slammed into his back. He barely felt it; he hardly heard their complaints. He spun, pushed past them, and walked back, nostrils flaring, trying to catch that elusive
jangleJANGLEjangleJANGLEjangle
intoxicating
jangleJANGLEjangleJANGLEjangle
utterly wonderful scent.
He stiffened, not unlike a dog on point. There. The street corner. Red suit trimmed with white. White-gloved hand shaking that annoying bell. Belly shaking like a bowlful of jelly. The glorious smell was coming from Santa Claus.
jangleJANGLEjangleJANGLEjangle
He charged across the street without looking, ignoring the blaring horns, the shriek of airbrakes. The closer he got, the better Santa smelled.
jangleJANGLEjanâ
“Jeez, there's no rush,” Santa said in a startled contralto, pulling down her beard to squint up at him. Her eyes were the color of Godiva milk chocolate. Her cheeks were blooded, kissed by the wind. Her nose was snub. Adorable. He felt like kissing it. “I mean, the bucket and I aren't going anywhere.”
“Nuh,” he said, or something like it.
“You really should forget that whole âpedestrians have the right of way' attitude when you're in this townâ¦errrâ¦everything okay?”
He had been looming over her, drinking her in. Now he jerked back. “Fine. Everything's fine. Have dinner with me.”
“It's ten o'clock in the morning.” She blinked up at him. A stray snowflake spiraled down, landed on her nose, and melted.
“Then lunch.”
The woman looked down at herself, as if making sure that, yes, she was dressed in the least-flattering outfit a woman could wear. “Are you feeling okay?” she asked at last.
“Never better.” It was the truth. This was rapidly turning into the best day ever. He had visions of spending the rest of the day rolling around on Egyptian cotton sheets with Santa. “Lunch.”
She peered at him with adorable suspicion. “Is that a question? Is this your first day out of the institution?”
Right, right, she was human. Be polite.
“Lunch. Please. Now.”
She burst out laughing, putting a hand on her large belly to keep from falling into the street. As if he'd let that happen. “I'm sorry,” she gasped, “but the absurdity of thisâ¦youâ¦andâ¦it just hit me all at once.” She cut her gaze away from his to smile at the woman who had just tucked a dollar into her bucket. “Merry Christmas, ma'am, and thank you.”
Now that he was no longer gazing into her eyes, he felt much colder and realized his feet were wet.
Faugh!
“I can't have lunch now,” she said kindly, looking back at him. “I can't leave my spot until noon.”
“Not even if you made lots of money before then?”
“Not even if the
real
Santa came along to relieve me.”
“Noon, then.”
“Well. All right.” She smiled up at him with timid liking. “You'll be sorry. Wait until you see me out of this Santa outfit.” The spasm of lust nearly toppled him into the gutter. “I'm not at all cute,” she finished with charming idiocy.
“Noon,” he said again and then pulled his roll from his coat pocket. He plucked the money clip off the wad and dropped the eight thousand dollars or so into her bucket. “I'll be back.”
“If that was Monopoly money,” she hollered after him, “lunch is
off
!”