Dead If I Do (17 page)

“It’s not something I’d repeat in front of a lady,” he purred.

Weirdly, that turned me on. Even stranger, Parrish looked natural in the cowboy hat. I touched the brim with my finger, “You ever a cowboy?”

He shook his head, “Too much sun for me. But,” he said leaning in to my ear, “they taste good. Easy to pick off when they’re sleeping around the campfire at night. I miss the days of the open range. It was more like an open buffet.”

I punched him in the shoulder.

He twirled me around. I didn’t really know how to two-step, so I just shuffled around to the beat as best I could. “What, pray tell, brings you out tonight?”

“I was looking for you,” I said.

“And here I thought you were experimenting with alternate lifestyles before settling down.”

“So, you said that you didn’t turn Teréza—Sebastian’s vambie—but, I was wondering, would you be willing to be her Sire, anyway?”

“Are we talking about the crazy lady who burned my hand?”

“Uh,” I smiled hopefully, “Yeah. She really needs someone, you know, to teach her how to be a vampire.”

Parrish spun me around again. “And I’m performing this as a public service?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do?”

Parrish gave me a slight smile that showed the tips of fangs. “Or because I’m being rewarded handsomely. Surely if she’s Von Traum’s problem, he’d be willing to finance her recovery.”

That’s my Daniel Parrish, always looking to make a buck. He put his hand on the small of my back.

“Yes,” he said, as though I’d already agreed. “A decent retainer for the duration of my service, say, a hundred dollars a day. Plus combat pay when necessary,” he said, lifting up his slightly scorched-looking hand. I probably should have hesitated. I didn’t have that kind of money. But Sebastian did. And I was sure Sebastian would agree that with Teréza occupied, the wedding could get back under way. Besides, maybe Teréza really did only need someone to guide her. Maybe she’d get better under Parrish’s tutelage. It was possible, right? “Deal,” I said. Parrish gave me a sideways glance. “Shouldn’t you negotiate a little?”

“Probably, but I’m hoping Sebastian will pay.”

Parrish laughed. “So am I.”

“He owes me,” I said, thinking of the kiss in the woods. “I’ll make sure he does.”

The song was over. Parrish twirled me around one last time and pulled me into a dip. “Do.”

Parrish gestured for me to head back to the table. In my brief absence, William had made a friend, it seemed. A young man with spiky, frosted hair had pulled up a chair and was leaning in very closely, like they were discussing something in earnest. I tried to catch William’s eye to see if he needed rescuing, but he was too busy laughing.

“Can we join you?” Parrish asked when we were within earshot. Spiky-hair looked up and checked out Parrish from head to toe. After a glance at William, he stood up, guilty.

“Hey, man,” he said, backing away slightly. “No harm no foul.”

I’ve never felt so invisible surrounded by so many men.

William looked baffled. Then it clicked. “Oh, wait, we’re not . . .” But spiky hair was already halfway across the bar and never looked back.

Parrish settled in next to William. “Sorry, darling,” he purred.

“I liked that guy,” William said. “We were talking about
Battlestar Galactica
.”

I picked up my drink. It was warm, but I sipped it anyway.

“Relationships have been based on less,” Parrish commented with a glance at me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped.

Parrish raised an eyebrow. William glanced at me over the rim of his glasses.

“Oh, like that wasn’t a dig?” I replied to their accusing stares.

“An innocent remark, I swear,” Parrish laid a hand on his chest and inclined his head in a slight bow. It was an odd gesture with the cowboy hat. “But, what’s the phrase? If the shoe fits?”

Before I could begin to compose a retort that constituted more than useless sputtering, my phone rang again. I didn’t recognize the number, but to avoid Parrish’s deliberate stare, I turned my back to him. “Hello?”

It was my high school friend, Jane, the one who’d answered my psychic call to come to my wedding. She wanted to let me know she might not make the rehearsal dinner as planned. Her car had died—something to do with the transmission, or maybe it was an engine gasket, and all the flights were booked due to the holiday season. She’d do her best. She might find a ride with a mutual friend or maybe try the train or Greyhound, but I shouldn’t count on her until I saw her. I told her it was okay, but, by the way she kept apologizing, I could tell she heard through my lie.

“Sounds like you’re at a bar or something,” she said.

“Yeah,” I said, not knowing what to offer in terms of an explanation. I’m here trying to corral my ex-boyfriend into helping me take care of my fiancé’s crazy ex-almost wife, didn’t sound, well, sane.

“It’s a party right up until the end for you, eh?”

More like a nightmare. “Yeah,” I murmured. “Good luck. I hope I’ll see you soon.”

“Oh, I’ll get to that wedding come hell or high water, girl. Don’t you worry.”

I laughed kindly, but I wanted to tell her she was working against a pretty powerful curse. Instead, I said good-bye and wished her luck one more time. Then I hung up.

William, who’d seen this pattern before, instantly asked, “What happened now?” as soon as I tucked the phone away and turned back to the table.

“I’m down one bridesmaid.”

“I guess the protection spell didn’t work, huh?” William said. “Well, I guess given that it was disrupted by a drunk driver and the whole awkward moment with Sebastian and Teréza kissing in the woods, probably not.”

Parrish perked up, like a shark on the scent of blood.

I waved my hands as if trying to turn the direction of the conversation before it could start. “Just don’t even ask,” I said.

“William, I need to go home.”

When I stood up, Parrish got to his feet. “I offer my services.”

“William can take me,” I insisted, even though William still sat looking wistfully at the bar. “Right, William?”

“Huh? Oh, sure,” William started to get up.

“No,” Parrish said, putting out a hand to indicate William should return to his seat. William obeyed, although he looked a little baffled. “I insist. Besides, I’m on retainer now. We have business to discuss.” When I looked at Parrish blankly, he added, “To begin with, you need to tell me where I can find the Lady Von Traum.”

“Lady Von Traum? Who’s that? Sebastian’s mother?” William asked.

“They weren’t married,” I reminded Parrish.

“Sebastian’s parents weren’t married?” William asked.

“Certainly I’ve always thought he was a bastard,” Parrish said.

“Parrish!”

“Seriously?” William asked, looking at me.

“No, we were talking about Teréza,” I explained. “Parrish, if you want to take me, let’s go.”

“ ‘Taking you’ has always been my greatest pleasure,” Parrish said with a devilish smile. I rolled my eyes. At this point, being at Sebastian’s farm with my mother seemed like the much saner option. Parrish offered me his arm. As we walked out the door of the bar together, I swear I heard the sound of hearts breaking.

Despite the minus degrees and icy roads, I half
-expected Parrish to lead me to a motorcycle. Apparently, in the winter, Parrish drove a beat-up Toyota. It was orange red, complemented with brownish rust spots. The rear bumper seemed to be held together with political bumper stickers.

I looked at those, and then at Parrish. “Did you steal this car?”

“Wrong verb tense,” he said, wrenching the door open. He sat down in the driver’s side and reached across to pop open the lock on the passenger door.

My hand hesitated on the handle. “ ‘Verb tense’? Do you mean you’re
stealing
this car?” My hand flew from the handle like it was hot, which I guess it was—or would be—except not in that sense. I looked over my shoulder nervously. I’m not sure what I expected, maybe a dozen police cars converging on us? The parking lot stayed empty. Snowflakes drifted lazily in the lamplight. Parrish used a scraper he found on the seat to carve a hole in the frost on the driver’s side of the windshield

“Get in,” he said. “Unless you can teleport us, we need a car,” he reminded me. “Hurry.”

At the mention of teleportation, I thought of Teréza, who was probably skulking around the barn while my mother and Sebastian talked in the house. I got in. The interior of the car smelled like clove cigarettes and patchouli. A bunch of empty cans of Monster drinks littered the floorboard. I had to perch my feet on either side of the foot well. Meanwhile, Parrish had pulled the key lock ignition thingy from the steering column. Taking a screwdriver out of an interior pocket, he put it in the ignition and turned it. The car started right up.

I kept turning around in my seat to stare at the bar. I was sure the owners of the car would come out and see us driving away in their ride. Parrish stepped on the gas as we pulled out of the lot, but not nearly fast enough for me.

“Where would I go?” Parrish muttered. He rubbed his chin. I could hear a slight scratch of his hand over stubble. “I’d find a friend. The Lady Von Traum, however, seems more the hiding under the bridge sort.”

“She’s not his wife,” I said suddenly. “And I don’t think Sebastian was ever knighted.” My back felt itchy pressing into the seat of a car I knew was being stolen. I checked behind us once again. Still no cops on our trail. “How long until they notice their car is missing?”

“Bar closes at two,” Parrish said. We turned onto the highway, and he shifted the car smoothly into a higher gear. “I hope to have ditched this by then. Don’t worry, it will be miles from your place.”

It was probably all my nervous breathing, but the windows were fogging up. Parrish goosed the defroster with a twist of a knob.

“But you’re fooling yourself if you don’t think Sebastian held a title of some sort,” he continued. “Alchemy has never been a pastime of the working class. And nobles, at least the ones I’ve known, have a particular and well-honed sense of chivalry. A man like Sebastian, think about it. He’s not the sort to leave a woman in a delicate condition on her own, without a husband. Is he?”

I had to admit that the thought had crossed my mind—just last night in fact, with the whole Cher thing. “Maybe I don’t know Sebastian as well as I thought I did.”

“Oh?”

Sure, Parrish sounded innocent enough, but this was a trap. I knew it. If I confessed any weakness here, I was down a road I didn’t want to follow. “I caught them kissing in the woods.” I sighed. I hated when my mouth didn’t obey my brain. “Teréza and Sebastian,” I clarified, in case that wasn’t patently obvious. Sheesh, why not just tell Parrish I ’m not sure about this whole marriage thing?

I stared at the streaks of snow splattering against the window as I waited for whatever I-told-you-so zinger Parrish concocted. Instead, his hand, cold and heavy, gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. He let his fingers stray at the nape of my neck for a moment longer than necessary and then returned his hand to the wheel.

Crap. I would have preferred something sarcastic. Parrish’s kindness was threatening to loosen the tears I’d been carefully holding back all day. “It’s not like I can’t understand it,” I said. Then I laughed a little at the irony of explaining this to him, of all people. Parrish was my Teréza. I never seemed to completely get over him, no matter how hard I tried. I knew he wasn’t right for me, but we had a history. “They looked so right together, you know? They’re both vampires. And old, like eternally.”

“And you’re going to grow old and die,” Parrish said matter-of-factly. “Sometimes that doesn’t matter . . . not if he truly loves you.”

The wistfulness in Parrish’s tone reminded me that I had a Black Hills gold wedding band of his in my jewelry box at home. He’d married at least once, to a mortal. Though I wanted to hear that story, I felt I needed to explain, “Actually, I’m not sure I
will
grow old and die, not since bonding with Lilith, anyway. That ’s part of the reason I felt comfortable marrying Sebastian. When we say forever, it’s going to be forever.”

Parrish gave me an expression I couldn’t quite read in the darkness, but I took it to be a combination of surprise and disgust.

“Are you insane?”

I felt more than a little insulted. “What do you mean?”

“Forever? Garnet, how many lovers have you had?”

“I’m not telling you that!”

“Even at a generous estimate, probably no more than fifty in your lifetime.”

“Fifty! What kind of runaround do you think I—”

He shook his head. “You haven’t lived enough to decide on forever.”

“You sound like my mother. Well, except she was actually really excited at the prospect, ” I let that thought drift off and got back to my point. “Look, I know that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. But, right now, the idea of spending the rest of my life—however long it ends up being—with Sebastian feels right. I love him. I can’t imagine life without him.”

Parrish shook his head and frowned at the passing countryside. The windshield wipers slapped out their rhythmical beat, and I realized I meant what I said.

I was still plenty mad about the kiss. And I felt that I still had a lot to learn about who Sebastian is, and was, all those many years of his undead life, but I was anxious to find out . . . with him. I was willing to try to work things out between us, because the idea of life without Sebastian seemed impossible.

The landmarks were beginning to look familiar. We passed the Fieldman farm, though I could hardly see their traditional white farmhouse through the falling snow. That reminded me. “Teréza’s been living in the barn, I think.”

“He’s been keeping his ex-wife on his property?”

“To be fair, I think the barn was Mátyás’s idea. And they were never married.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Parrish said. “But, wait, this Mátyás, that’s Sebastian’s son?”

“Yeah,” then I laughed, remembering what Parrish had said, “the bastard.”

“How is it he’s still alive? Did Sebastian turn his whole family? He’s sicker than I thought.”