Dead Of Winter (The Rift Book II) (8 page)

“I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. Guys aren’t so good at seeing things
that’re
right in front of them. At least they
pretend
not to be. And besides, he’s got a lot of other things on his mind right now.”

“I know. That’s why you can’t say a word, okay?”

“No problem.
But why?”

“I don’t want to bother him with anything more right now…especially
this
. So it’s just between us, okay?”

Jessica offered her an adorable little grin and took hold of her hand. Without another word, the young mother rose and gave her a hug. Kyra returned the embrace. Her body warmed. She loved the feeling of mutual empathy. It was foreign to her.
I’m not alone after all
, she thought.

The irony wasn’t lost on her that the one woman who accepted her with no strings attached, who accepted her as a
sister
, was someone who, in a life now past, had struck a chord of envy within her. In that life she wanted everything Jessica possessed; caring parents, an endearing child, and a father for that child who was, despite not being completely involved in their lives, truly dedicated to his young family. Now here she was, and life had brought everything full circle. She had her man, who treated her with respect and tenderness, and a baby on the way. It was everything she’d ever dreamed of, albeit occurring in circumstances far from ideal.

The rustle of footsteps sounded, followed by a distant shadow that approached through the cobalt radiance of moonlight. She heard Josh’s voice call out – “I could use some help over here, guys!” –
and
the quickening of her heart made her realize she had nothing more to lust after.

We’re all in the same boat now
, she thought, and ran towards him through the snow.

*
 
 
*
 
 
*

The bright sun cast thin beams of brilliant yellow through the frost-covered windows. Josh smiled. It was the first time in God knew how long he’d allowed himself to genuinely do so.

He gazed with adoration at those around him. Kyra, Colin, Andy and Francis, and little Megan Stoddard sat in a circle, with playing cards spread out before them. All appeared cheerful, with the exception of Colin.

“What the fuck is this?” he grumbled. “You rig these cards, or what?”

“What’re you talking about?” asked Josh.

“We’ve been playing for an hour and you got, what, a hundred points already? That’s bullshit.”

“Hey,” said Kyra as she nudged him with her elbow. “
There’s kids
around, you know. Watch your mouth.”

He grunted. “That’s bullshit, too.”

“It’s not my fault you suck ass at cards,” Josh added sardonically. “No need to get
pissy
about it.”

“Bite me,
jerkoff
.”

“Okay boys, play nice.”

Josh smirked and Colin returned the expression. He looked like a mischievous schoolboy. Frank McKinley approached them and coughed – a violent, hacking burst that sounded like the revving of a failing lawnmower engine. “I’ll show y’all a thing or two,” he said, and lowered his creaky body to the floor.

“Oh, it’s on now,” laughed Colin.

Frank gawked at him with tired, bloodshot eyes. “Like I said before, you
kids’re
daft.”

They played for quite some time. Even Yvette and Emily joined in. They laughed and cajoled, and for at least a little while Josh forgot about his rumbling stomach, aching joints, and the bone-chilling cold. He felt like he was ten years old again. Even though the place stunk to high heaven and he could trace pictures in the grime that covered his unwashed flesh, the spirit of play lessened the strain of knowing that tomorrow was just around the corner, and with it would come yet another long trek through the vast and dangerous woods to lug what little remained of their resources back to the cabin. It felt good for him to remember what it was like to have no troubles in the world save one: beating Colin at his own game.

The front door burst open and Luanda Anon strode into the room. Her hair, now dreadlocked after such a long time without bathing, bounced about her head like loose springs. The hullabaloo ceased, as it often did when she was around. She was a tall and thick woman with wide cheekbones and
skin
the color of coal. She carried herself with such bombast and intelligence that many of their party couldn’t look her in the eye when she spoke. She had worked at the same elementary school as Josh’s mother for more than twenty years, and he’d never felt comfortable around her. Just because their situations had changed didn’t alter that fact.

Luanda
shuffled her feet on the ragged old mat by the door and brushed snow from her boots. She glared at the gathering of fun seekers, her lips twisted into a frown. To Josh she looked like a bull set to charge. Despite the darkness of her complexion, he swore he saw her cheeks flush. He cringed.

“Laugh it up, people,” she said, pronouncing each word precisely with her deep, forceful voice. “We’re running short on supplies. Someone is going to have to walk back out to the carriages and bring back another batch. Even rationing, we only have enough to last another night with what we have here.”

When no one responded to her, she rolled her eyes and said, “That’s okay, you all just sit there while I get stuck with all the work.”

Josh folded his cards and placed them on the ground. He glanced in Kyra’s direction. She squinted, shrugged her shoulders, and squeezed his hand.

“What’s the matter, Lu?” asked Yvette Kilty.

Luanda
pivoted on her heels and stared them down, one by one. “I’m tired of this garbage,” she said with a snarl. “I didn’t want to be here from the start.”

“
Coulda
fooled me,” snapped Colin. He laughed, and his glasses bounced on the end of his nose. “What did you
expect,
a trip to
Hawaii
or some shit?”

Luanda
sneered. “You really are a sad little boy, aren’t you?”

“Hey, I’m just trying to have fun, lady. Lighten up. You’ll live longer.”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, boy. But something tells me you won’t make it to thirty.”

“We’ll see, bitch,” said Colin. “
Betcha
I can run faster than you.” His goading smirk stretched wider than ever. Josh knew that expression all too well. He didn’t like the direction this little confrontation was about to take.

“That’s just what you’d do, isn’t it?” said
Luanda
. “Run away, little rabbit. Run away.”

Colin slapped the ground with his open palm and stood up. He approached
Luanda
with balled fists and shouted, “What the fuck’s wrong with you, anyway? You got a fucking screw loose or something?”

Josh shot to his feet and wedged between the two combatants, holding his arms out, forming a human barricade. “All right, guys,” he said. “Just take it easy.”

Luanda
and Colin looked like they would bash their heads together like a pair of rams whether he stood there or not. Kyra then slipped her arm around Colin’s waist. He submitted to her, though not without lament, and allowed her to lead him to the far corner of the shack. In the stress of the moment Josh realized just how small the place really was.

He turned back to
Luanda
. She looked ready to self-combust.

“I know about the supplies, Mrs. Anon. I was going to head out there with Mr. McKinley tomorrow.”

“
Hrmph
,” replied
Luanda
.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said with a disgusted grunt. “At least nothing
you
could ever help me with.”

“There’s no need for that tone, Mrs. Anon. We’re all friends here.”

“I’m not so sure about that, honestly.”

“What do you mean by that?”

She threw her hands up. “We’ve done nothing but what
you
wanted since we left! We all had other plans, you know. I have a daughter and grandchildren. I want to know that they’re safe. But no, instead of doing something
productive
, we’re stuck in this dirty little shack. Why is that, exactly?”

“It’s what we had to do to stay alive.”

“And how do you know that?”

“You’re just gonna have to trust me, Mrs. Anon.”

“Fat chance of that happening.”

She made her way to the chair Mary Kincaid sat in. She waved her arm and Mary bolted from that chair as if she’d been launched from a howitzer.
Luanda
grabbed the arms and lowered herself into it. “I’m tired and lonely,” she said. She pointed out the window, where a few of the children were playing under the watchful eye of Jessica Lure. “And I’m not content to stay here and take care of a bunch of brats that I couldn’t care less about.”

“You don’t mean that,” said Josh. He glanced about, hoping someone would come to his aid. None did.

“Like hell I don’t,” snapped
Luanda
. “I didn’t sign up for this. I want out.”

“No you don’t. C’mon, be real here. You’re not alone. You got us.”

Luanda
laughed. It was a hollow, heartless sound. “Give me a break, Joshua. I have you? I’m not as uncivilized as some in this room, but pardon my French when I say that’s bullshit. You couldn’t care less about me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Sure it is. You have that rude little runt of a friend and Missus Robinson over there. That’s all you really care about. The rest of us are just extra baggage. We’re luggage.”

Josh jabbed his fists into his hips. Anger started to churn. “That’s enough,
Luanda
. I’m not gonna have you insulting them, or me, any more. You wanna leave?
Fine.
There’s the door. Get out. We’ll see how you do on your own. This conversation’s
over
.”

He stormed past her in the direction of the front door. He could feel the blood rush into his cheeks. He pressed the latch down and pulled. A rush of chilled air greeted him. It didn’t do anything to stifle the heat that pulsed beneath his collar.

“That’s right,” said
Luanda
. “It’s just like I thought. Don’t stand and face the problem like a man. Run away, just like your friend, just like we’ve been doing all along. It’s what you’re best at.”

He spun around. “
What do you want from me?
”

“Nothing.”

“Then leave this alone!”

“Sorry. I can’t do that.”

“Jesus
fuck
, why not?”

“Because you’re nothing, you
know
you’re nothing, and yet everyone here listens to you. Why? You got me. The only reason I came along in the first place was because I was scared and it seemed safer than staying put. But you know what? I wish I hadn’t. You don’t have any answers, Joshua. All you have is something your overactive imagination came up with, and I shouldn’t have expected anything different. I’ve known you since you were a boy. You’re a follower. You’ve never thought for yourself. You’re lazy. You wasted every opportunity you’ve ever had. Why should I think that now would be any different? I bet Gail and Don must’ve been
so
proud of the way you turned out, wherever they are. Where
are
they now, Joshua?”