Dead Of Winter (The Rift Book II) (6 page)

“
Gracias
, you guys,” murmured Luis.

Larry stood up and stared at Luis from across the sea of flames. “I’m sorry, Lou,” he said.

“
Naw
, it’s okay. I got shit I
gotta
work out.”

“No, it’s not.”

Larry paced around the circle. “Truth is,” he said, “that
none
of us have to be alone any more. We got our memories, and we got each other, man. Shit,
things’ve
happened to all of us that
wasn’t
so good. We’ve seen each other at our absolute fucking
worst
. And what’d we do? We helped pull through, that’s what. We’re still alive,
fellas
. And fuck it all if it ain’t gonna
stay
that way.”

“
Correctamundo
!
” shouted Hector.

“Damn straight!” continued the mullet man. “And actually, I’m a bit jealous of you, Lou. You talk about your dad and I wish that was me. I
woulda
killed to have someone in my life like that. The piece o’ shit that got my mom pregnant was one of the nastiest fuckers you’d ever meet. He was a drunk, and my mom loved him more than anyone in the world,
me
included. He’d beat her up and make a mess of her face then turn on me. He put me in the hospital at least twenty times before I finished grade school. That bastard never took me to a game. He never took me
anywhere
. Hell, I
woulda
taken a
how was your day kiddo?
and
been happier than a pig in shit. I wanted him to love me.
To
acknowledge
me.
But I didn’t get
none
of that.”

Luis frowned. “I’m sorry, Larry.”

“You see, I accept that. I
want
you to feel my pain.” He stopped pacing. “I want you to know that there’s been good shit in our lives. You know why? ‘Cause I’ve been happy, too. We all
gotta
remember that. When I met my ex-wife, I thought I’d died and gone to the big pig roast in the sky. Of course, we
did
end up in a bad divorce after five years and I wouldn’t trust the bitch to kill herself with a garden hose in her tailpipe, but at the time, I was happier than anyone.”

“I have something to say,” Stan said. His lips were clenched in a sullen expression, yet a mischievous glint appeared in his unremarkable eyes.

“Oh yeah?” said Larry. “What’s that?”

“Fuck you.”

Horace laughed along with everyone else at the deadpan nature of his delivery.

“But seriously, guys,” Stan said, finishing off a laugh that didn’t seem quite sincere. “Larry’s right. When Kirsten died that morning in the diner, I was devastated. I wanted to kill myself right then and there. Heck, sometimes I still do. She was my life. I’ll never meet anyone like her again. And the way things are looking right now, I don’t think any of us will even
see
another woman again.
Ever.
But hey, I’ve come to grips with that a bit. I don’t think I’ll totally get over it, but at least when I’m asleep and I remember the way she looked and the way she smelled, I don’t have the urge to put a pistol in my mouth and pull the trigger.
At least not
all
the time.”

He cleared his throat and continued. “I know I have to go on…for her. She’d want me to live. I owe that to her. I’m the one who survived this whole mess. I have to make the best of it while I still can.” He smiled. “I have you guys to thank for that.”

“I know
exactly
what you’re saying!” exclaimed Hector. He rubbed his hands in front of the fire with a far-away look in his eyes. “I mean, no use crying over things we can’t control, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yep, and the thing is, I been pissed off for years. Look at me. I was a short, fat kid…but I was a fucking
great
soccer player. I was a frigging god in high school. I never paid no attention in class, though, and didn’t do
no
homework. All I wanted to do was kick that ball. My folks, they wanted me to be the first
Conseca
to go to college. They figured I’d get in on a scholarship or something.
Didn’t happen.
My grades fucking sucked and my parents basically disowned me. They told me to go away and not come back ‘till I got my shit together. I hated them so much for that. My
padre
told me I was a lazy fuck! Can you
believe
that?”

Everyone, excluding Horace, nodded.

“Yeah, fucking hilarious guys.
But you’re right. I was.”

“You know,
Hec
,” interjected Dennis, “everyone goes through that sort of shit. It’s part of being a kid.”

Hector vehemently shook his head. “That’s just it, Denny.
Being a kid.
I’m thirty-nine and that shitty attitude of mine lasted ‘till
two fucking months ago!
It took the whole world going down the
shitter
to realize what I had. That’s why I like what
Stanny
Boy said. I don’t wanna die. I’m still fucking breathing when most of the other fuckers are walking around with their insides coming out. Nothing that happened before means shit compared to this.”

Dennis lifted his cup of water. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Luis.

“You guys wanna know something?” said Dennis. His eyes stared at the wall as if it were a work of art. “Everything that’s happened in the past and what’s going on right now…y’all realize how special it is? I’ve been with you guys longer than most any relationship I’ve ever had, sad as that is to say, and this is the first time we’ve been so open with each other. It’s the first time we’ve really
bonded
. We’ve never been so honest, so naked. It’s beautiful, man.”

“You sound like a hippy,” Hector blurted out.

“
Nah, that
was a long time ago. This is different. This is
cosmic
, like it’s meant to be. For the first time in my life, I feel…comfortable.”

“Comfortable? Really?” asked Stan.

Dennis grinned. “I thought I had it all before. I got to play guitar and sax and piano and even some percussion for a
shitload
of bands over the last thirty or so years. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I went from city to city, sitting in with group after group, never staying in one place too long or getting to know anyone too well. This was all well and good, but there was this emptiness inside I just couldn’t get rid of. In a way, I felt cursed.

“And that’s what’s so ironic. I was up here playing gig after empty gig, ignoring what’s going on around me, smoking pot every night and getting royally plastered after curfew. Then, one morning, the meaninglessness of it all got to me. We
was
going through
Richmond
and I just quit. Right there on the spot. I got off the bus and started walking, with nothing but fifty bucks in my pocket. And where did I end up that day?
At the diner.”
He pointed at Corky. “I bumped into you on the way in, and you apologized, even though it was my fault. Stan, you and your wife looked right at me and said hi. Luis and Larry scooted over when I walked up to the counter to order my food without me having to ask them to. And Hector, when I said I wanted some eggs and grits with sausage, you smiled and said to take a seat, they’d be done in a few minutes. I know, it doesn’t seem like much, but even in those tiny little moments, when I didn’t know y’all from nothing, there was a spark. There was
companionship
. So when I sat down, I couldn’t take my eyes off a one of you.

“When all the bad shit happened, I just acted. It was like I was protecting my family or something. All I could think about was picking up that gun and taking the ugly fuckers out. I didn’t even aim; I just kept pulling the trigger. It’s amazing I didn’t shoot you guys, too, in the process.”

Larry nodded. “We got lucky.”

“No, we didn’t,” said Dennis with a wag of his finger. “I don’t believe in luck. But I
do
believe in fate. We were
destined
to meet in that diner.” He looked at Horace. “And you, my man, were meant to be here now. No one can convince me otherwise.”

“So what’s it all mean?” asked Stan.

Dennis shrugged.
“Fucked if I know.”

Horace watched the laughter start up again, and this time he joined in. He shook at the gut, feeling more alive than his contaminated body should’ve been allowed to. He wanted it to last forever.

A few moments later, Dennis stood up. He glanced to the far corner, just beyond the circle, where Corky, the only one not laughing, sat in silence.

“Hey, Charles,” he said. “What’s up with you? You’re not even this quiet when you’re sleeping.”

“I’m just cold.”

“Well, sit closer to the fire,
dammit
. That’s what it’s here for.”

Corky frowned. “Can’t a guy get some peace?”

“No. You never give it to us, do you?”

“Guess not.”

“Sucks when it’s thrown back into your face, eh
maricon
?” said Luis.

Corky nodded. “Sure does.” It seemed strange to Horace, even though he’d just met the man, to see him appear so stoic.

“So how about it, bro.
You got something to say?”

“Nope.”

Stan popped his head up. “Come on, Corky. That’s not fair. You have to say
something.
”

“Fine,” said Corky. “You asked for it.”

He rose to his feet and strolled in his hunched-over manner to the edge of the circle. He started humming and placed a hand on his jiggling belly while his weight shifted from one foot to the other.

“
I had a woman, she wouldn’t do for me
,” he sang in an off-tune, cracking voice. “
I’m
goin
’ back to my used to be…it’s a mean old levee, cause me to weep and moan…gonna leave my baby, and my happy home.
”

“Oh God, puke!” shouted Larry.

“Shit, Corky,” muttered Hector, “get a life.”

Dennis grinned. “Is that all you got?”

“No,” Corky said. “I could sing some more, if you like.”

“That’s quite all right.”

Corky turned around and grabbed a pile of blankets from off the ground. “Sorry, dudes. I’m just tired. Been thinking about tomorrow.”

“What happens tomorrow?” asked Horace.

The huge redhead spread his blankets on the ground and slid beneath them. “We head up the mountain,” he said, “to the old resort on
Mount
Clinton
. Figure we’ll be safe up there. It’s pretty secluded and it’s frigging huge. Not to mention the fact it’s way up in the middle of no man’s land. I’m just worried about
getting there
. You know, with the fleshies and all.”

Hector playfully punched Horace’s shoulder. “So
whaddaya
say, old Doc?
You coming
with us?”

“That would be fantastic,” he replied.

“So,” said Corky as he rolled to his side, “let’s get some fucking sleep.”

“Sounds good,” Horace said, looking towards the mouth of the cave.
“But what about the boy?”

Dennis’s face scrunched up. “Oh, shit. I forgot all about him. It’s my turn to watch. I should go.”
            

“Nah, don’t worry about Dougie,” grunted Corky. “He’s probably having too much fun playing soldier.”