Deadly Expectations (68 page)

I put my hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently so my hand moved on the blanket but I didn’t move him on the bed.
 
It was so much easier to fight with him when he was too hung over to get mad.

“Anna … if something happens to me you have Ray to look after you and our daughter.
 
Our daughter is more important than we are.
 
I know it’s hard for you to accept but I’ll be back with you again.
 
If something happens to you I lose her.”

“I know you don’t like me very much right now.
 
It’s okay.”

He didn’t say anything.
 
That was okay too.
 
He wasn’t going to lie and say it wasn’t true.

“Did you go back to sleep?” I whispered.

“No.”

I waited but he didn’t have any more to say to me.

There was a knock at the door so I kissed Paul’s head through the blankets and went to answer it.
 
I let room service put the tray on the dresser and locked up again.
 
Paul staggered into the bathroom to get sick and crawled back into bed waking Ray up.
 
I got juice and coffee for Paul again and he got down some Advil with the juice before going back under the blankets.
 
Ray managed being upright a lot better so I shared my toast and fruit with him.

“Paul, can I give you anything?”
 
Ray asked him.

“Uh,” Paul said.
 
I had no idea if that was
yes or no
but Ray seemed to.

“Where’s the bag?” he asked me.

I pointed at the top of the closet as I was chewing.

“How come you’re not that sick?”
 
I asked Ray.

He shrugged.
 
“Paul can’t hold his liquor.”

“What are you giving him?”

“Morphine and
Gravol
… same as he gave you.”

“Can I do it?” I asked.

“What?” they both said.

It made sense for me to learn.
 
“Sorry, is that some secret grown up knowledge I’m forbidden to possess?
 
Because Paul might have been grateful for it last week.”

Ray laughed.

“At least I wouldn’t have had to focus my eyes enough to do it myself,” Paul said.

“Okay Kiddo,” Ray said then he showed me what to give him and how much.
 
Then he had me fill the syringes.
 
He gave Paul the first one and I gave him the other.

“So you did this yourself last week and it still took you two hours to get out of bed?” I asked Paul.

“A ‘you’re welcome’ would be sufficient,” Paul mumbled.

“You’re welcome Paul,” I said.
 
“Try some coffee … I’ll get the lights.”

I turned them all off and left the curtain open a bit so nobody got hurt fumbling around in the dark then I closed up the sofa bed while Ray was in the shower.
 

“I just don’t like some of the things you do,” Paul said.

I went over and sat on the bed with him.

“Would you recognize me today if you hadn’t seen me again after that first night?” I asked him.

He put a hand on my face.
 
“Yes.”

“Keith said we’re most connected now because of the baby … will you still want me after she’s born?”

“He apologized to me for that.
 
He should have told you to come to me.
 
And yes … you’ll want me too.”

“I just keep disappointing you,” I told him.
 
“One day you’re going to throw up your hands and leave.
 
I don’t know how to stop pushing you.”

“It’ll be okay,” Paul said but he didn’t sound convinced.
 
Maybe it was the hangover.

“Okay,” I tried to kiss him but dodged my lips.

“Threw up,” he explained but now I didn’t feel convinced.
 
“Did you kiss him back?”

“I couldn’t have stopped him … I wanted him to drop his guard.”

“That’s not a
no
,” he said.

“It isn’t.”
 
I got up and topped up his coffee.

“Go shop or something.
 
Get out,” Paul said. He lay back down with his back to me.

I took some cash and my phone and left.
 
First I replaced the blood covered clothes that Paul had to throw out then I got a hot chocolate at a coffee place and wandered around for a while.
  
Quite by accident I was on my way to making Paul leave.
 
Much sooner than I wanted.
 
It hurt a lot.
 
I wasn’t ready to let him go yet.
 
It was almost two hours before Paul called.
 
By then I had found a bench to warm.

“Mrs. Lund,” he said.

“Hi Mr. Lund.”

“I miss you.”

I was relieved.
 
“I miss you too.”

“He’s leaving in a while … meet us for lunch?”

“Okay,” I answered and we said goodbye.
 
Ray would have talked it over with him.
 
He was good at that.
 
Ray was a good man.
 
I was happy that Alina would have him to look after her.
 
Just him.
 
When Damian was gone Alina and I wouldn’t have to have anyone else other than Ray and Paul.

Patrick took Ray to the airport after lunch and Paul and I spent the afternoon together in our room.
 
He asked me to put on the black teddy and when we finally got out the door again he took me shopping at Carla’s.

We stayed with Keith and his family a few more days before we made our difficult goodbyes and drove south to
Calgary
for the first leg of our long trip home.

Chapter 50

We hadn’t been able to decide between two nights in Hope then straight back to my house or one night then one in
Vancouver
.
 
We’d stayed a night in
Calgary
then a night in
Banff
and were back on schedule after spending a lot more time in
Edmonton
than we had intended.
 
Paul had enjoyed the company of Keith and his piece of the family and they had tentative plans to come see us in the spring after Marie finished her semester.

Ray told Paul that Denis found what he had been looking for.
 
The man’s knife.
 
And that I had made a hell of a mess.
 
Paul wasn’t pleased but he shouldn’t have asked Denis what I had done to him.

Christmas was less than two weeks away then it wouldn’t be long before we could go back to Paul’s.
 
I hoped that by then he would be furious enough with me to go back alone if I hadn’t gotten him to leave sooner.
 
We had mostly made up after our falling out in
Edmonton
but I could feel distance in Paul now that wasn’t there before.
 
He wanted me as much as ever but now it was just sex.
 
We’d gone from closeness after I got back from seeing Pilot to a brief period of fun while we were away to plain old sex.
 
What we did between brushing our teeth and going to sleep.
 
The emotional payoff seemed to weaken every day.

I remembered dreaming of Alina and me again.
 
Dead beside the dumpster.
 
This time it was Damian who had killed us.
 
His laughter echoing off the walls until he squatted down beside me.
 
He grabbed my head roughly by my hair and pulled my face to his.
 
His nose wrinkled as he smelled me.

“I’ve always hated that stink in you,” he whispered then he spat in my face and dropped me.
 
He stepped out of his blood soled shoes and walked away laughing.

I became aware that I was in Alina’s hallway and it wasn’t empty.
 
There was a uniformed police officer standing where her door was, his back to me.
 
I was down at one end.
 
He was joined by another as the elevator opened in front of them.
 
Two paramedics got out with their gear piled on a stretcher.
 
I knew right away what had happened.

Hoping I was still dreaming I looked around for things out of place because dreams rarely got small details right but everything looked as it
should.
 
Damn, had Paul even noticed I was gone?
  
A quick check of my phone for the date suggested we should still be in
Edmonton
, not Hope so calling him wouldn’t make any sense.

“Excuse me?” I called out as I approached the officers.
 
“That’s my sister’s apartment.”

They turned.
 
One stayed at the door and the other walked to meet me.

“Who’s your sister?” he asked.

“Dr. Alina Creed … I’m Anna,” I tried to walk past him but he stopped me.

“Do you have some ID?”

That was a stupid question but I opened the side pocket for my passport anyway.

“We’re almost identical, can’t you see the resemblance?”

He opened the passport and studied it then he looked at my face.

“No,” he told me.
 
“Wait here.”

He took my passport into the apartment with him.
 
I waited but not for long.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he came out, handing me back my passport.
 
“Your sister has been assaulted … she wants you.
 
She needs to go to the hospital but she’s refusing … can you try and talk her into going?”

I nodded.
 
Knowing what happened and helping Alina through the minutes and possibly days after would be one of the hardest things we had been through together.
 
I had seen the terror and heard her cries.

“Was it her boyfriend?” I asked keeping the wobble in my legs and out of my voice.

“Do you know him?
 
She won’t say who he is.”

“Damian Howard,” I told him.
 
“American.
 
Former military.
 
Don’t tell her I said anything.”

“Thank you,” he said and took my elbow leading me in.

Alina was on her couch where I dreamed she would be.
 
A female officer sat near her and the two paramedics hovered but her arms were tightly crossed and she wasn’t cooperating.

“No James, I’m not going.”

She was an emergency doctor.
 
She would know them.

“Alina, please …”

Alina looked up at me and the female officer got up so I could sit with her.

“Anna?”
 
She looked at my stomach.